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would it bother you if - 10/19/2008 7:23:10 PM
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creationtalk
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I have a dress that I wore as my wedding dress (failed marriage) 8 year ago. If I were to marry again I'd like to wear it (assuming I can still fit in it). Not because of any sentimental attachment to previous marriage but because I love the dress. It is floaty and feminine and when I bought it, I was thinking that it was something that could be worn for more than just a wedding because it doesn't really look to "wedding" if you know what I mean.
So if you were my future spouse (no, there isn't one in the picture), would it bother you for me to wear that dress for our wedding?
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RE: would it bother you if - 10/19/2008 11:08:26 PM
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John_O
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I don't see why it would be a big deal.
I'd guess that most men don't have the attachment between clothes and events that women do. In fact. I'd guess most men would be happy that you were saving that kind of money by not getting another dress.
Look at it like wearing your grandma's wedding dress. Looks good, saves money, how could that not be good.
The bottom line for me at least would be, that regardles sof where the dress originated, I get the wearer of it. 
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Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: would it bother you if - 10/19/2008 11:19:55 PM
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MaleorderBride
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I agree with John_O on this one. Men just don't have the same sentimental attachments to clothing and events like women do.
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RE: would it bother you if - 10/20/2008 8:41:40 PM
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ffbruce
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quote:
ORIGINAL: creationtalk
So if you were my future spouse (no, there isn't one in the picture), would it bother you for me to wear that dress for our wedding?
Yeah, honestly, I think it probably would.
Maybe it shouldn't, but it probably would.
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RE: would it bother you if - 10/21/2008 9:12:30 AM
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iwillfearnoevil
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quote:
ORIGINAL: creationtalk
So if you were my future spouse (no, there isn't one in the picture), would it bother you for me to wear that dress for our wedding?
i don't think so ... and it seems like a bit of time has passed where guests might not remember your dress from that long ago and make awkard comments in the wedding line ... or hopefully have enough tact :)
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RE: would it bother you if - 10/21/2008 3:49:29 PM
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creationtalk
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Thanks much for the responses. It sounds like it should be okay, but it is something that I would need to discuss with a future spouse just to make sure.
As for the guests remembering the dress--this probably won't be an issue. xh did not want me to invite anyone from work, I live 3 days drive from most of my closest family, so only my parents and and elderly aunt and uncle came, and I've lost touch with the few neighbors that were invited...so there might be, at most, 3 people who even saw the dress before if I were to marry again.
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RE: would it bother you if - 10/23/2008 5:41:25 PM
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ajlewis
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quote:
ORIGINAL: creationtalk
So if you were my future spouse (no, there isn't one in the picture), would it bother you for me to wear that dress for our wedding?
No, as long as you like it. But I don't really have to know.
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RE: would it bother you if - 10/23/2008 8:03:47 PM
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creationtalk
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Thanks again for the responses.
OneJohn410, about the dress: it is similar to some of the longer ballet dresses--think gauze and lace with sequin and bead accents, to mid-calf--the hem and sleeves uneven multiple layers. It's kind of Victorian style.
As far as floating away...I can be driven away, but would never float anywhere but toward my spouse. The dress would be kept for special occasions with the two of us.
< Message edited by creationtalk -- 10/23/2008 9:18:59 PM >
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RE: would it bother you if - 10/24/2008 8:02:10 AM
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DaveW
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Yeah - it would bother me. Even hanging on to the dress but never wearing it would be a bother to me as well.
If you like it so much, get another dress similar to it or even a duplicate. Just not the same dress.
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RE: would it bother you if - 10/24/2008 9:28:52 AM
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beauregarde
Posts: 500
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Yeah bothersome - Get rid of that piece of baggage, it really isn't needed. Pick a dress for you and your soon to be hubby. I don't think hubby number two wants your ex's leftovers.
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RE: would it bother you if - 10/24/2008 10:29:31 AM
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creationtalk
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If its an issue, I would buy another dress or design and make one myself.
quote:
I don't think hubby number two wants your ex's leftovers.
But isn't that what I am?
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RE: would it bother you if - 10/25/2008 4:01:16 PM
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humbleinspirit
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WOW, this is a new one! I would say no only because I would think that a wedding dress is picked in part because of the man who you are marrying. The dress would make me feel as if it was originally intended for someone else instead.
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RE: would it bother you if - 11/3/2008 2:16:14 PM
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beauregarde
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You are not your ex's left overs. Material objects, that had your first husband in mind, are his leftovers (a wedding dress among them).
Not all leftovers are bad, but a wedding dress, a new one, should be picked for your second husband.
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RE: would it bother you if - 11/7/2008 5:52:44 PM
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jn1010lf
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Hello creationtalk
No, it wouldn't bother me but how about you? Don't you think it would be a good idea to start completely new? Why carry old things into a new relationship? Is there still some flame for the former?
Having married for the second time, I can truly tell you that every effort should be made to erase the former and start as new as possible on the second one.
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RE: would it bother you if - 11/8/2008 12:40:22 AM
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creationtalk
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Thanks to all of you.
OK, I guess the dress will have to go.
jn1010lf, no there is absolutely no flame for the former. I'd like to be able to cut him completely from my life but my son makes that impossible.
The dress was what I dreamed about when I was a teen dreaming of getting married...and it didn't happen for 20 years...and my dad bought the dress for me when he found out I'd decided not to get it because it was so expensive. That was the only time in my life when I can remember my father encouraging me to spend money on something he considered frivolous. So any attachment is to the dress, not a person.
However, I also see the point about starting completely new. And truthfully, I don't need another lesson from God about getting to attached to things. The last one was plenty painful. I'm sure there is some young lady out there who would be thrilled to have the dress.
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RE: would it bother you if - 11/11/2008 8:30:41 PM
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alley_cat
Posts: 38
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quote:
ORIGINAL: creationtalk
I have a dress that I wore as my wedding dress (failed marriage) 8 year ago. If I were to marry again I'd like to wear it (assuming I can still fit in it). Not because of any sentimental attachment to previous marriage but because I love the dress. It is floaty and feminine and when I bought it, I was thinking that it was something that could be worn for more than just a wedding because it doesn't really look to "wedding" if you know what I mean.
So if you were my future spouse (no, there isn't one in the picture), would it bother you for me to wear that dress for our wedding?
Wouldnt bother me at all. On the other hand, I also wouldnt be bothered if she simply didnt want to wear the same dress again. I, like most guys I guess, am not very sentimental about such things, but would try to be understanding to my S.O.
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RE: would it bother you if - 12/8/2008 12:59:23 AM
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solomonsprayer
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I'm sure this varies from person to person, but for me as a male I would want my special day with my future wife to be filled with symbols of our union together and preferably not have any hints of a previous marriage.
If I were at that point where I was engaged and in love with my fiance who had been in a previous marriage, I would certainly love her and not focus on the previous marriage or have any bad feelings about it. But, at the same time, it would make things much easier to not have those old symbols of that marriage around. I think most people would prefer that and I do believe it is healthy to have it that way.
So for me, I'd say no, do not wear the dress. Always think outside of yourself and try your best to fulfill your significant other's well-being the most and best and possible. I think just finding another dress would do that and be most appropriate.
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