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Ellie-Mae -> In My Father's House (3/1/2006 11:23:34 AM)

God truly blesses! He blesses us every day, even when we are going through difficult times.

I started this blog as a place to talk about my life surrounded by His blessings and living under His roof. I want to be able to be able to provide a heritage for my children and a good place to start is to have record what it was like to live and grow in His house.

I don't really expect many people to read this, but I hope that it may be a blessing to those who do.



Ellie-Mae -> RE: In My Father's House (3/1/2006 3:10:38 PM)

There are 10 of us living here now.

Russ, my wonderful Hubby. He is also known here as Davy_Crockett. It truly amazes me that God would have chosen someone as wonderful as him to spend my days and nights with. God must really love me to give me such a wonderful, strong, godly husband as Russ. I am amazed constantly to think that Russ chose and chooses to be with me.

He is a wonderful, invovled father to our children, instilling in them a family identity, bestowing his blesssing on them, and giving them a wonderful heritage.

David (10) is my eldest son. He is growing to be a wonderful man of God. He loves life. He has a tender heart and is learning how to be a leader. He is bright, intelligent, and curious. He loves children, especially little ones. Everyone is automatically considered a friend by him. He hates no one.

Caleb (8) is my second born. He is growing to be a man like his dad. Like Russ and David, he also loves people, but he likes to give of his money to missions and relief aid. His favorite books are missionary stories and a certain series of books writted by Tim Davis. He is gifted in academics and computers. He is the quietest of our children... listening more than he speaks.

Timothy (6) is our third born and the life of our family. He is so full of energy. He is imaginative and has a restless spirit. He rarely ever looks like he is taking in what is being said to him, but he will knock you socks off with what he remembers. He is also very curious and asks a hundred questions every day. I am so waiting for the day that he asks Jesus to forgive his sins and to come into his heart. He wants to be a rocket scientist when he grows up.

Sarah (4) is my fourth born and my first little girl... and she is ALL girl unlike her tomboy mother. She has childhood apraxia, but has managed to learn how to read at the age of four. She loves pink and purple, dolls, princess stuff, jewlery, dresses and such. She wants to be like her momma. She wants to bake, and clean, set the table and serve the guests, read books and anything that she sees me do. she can turn from a sunshine smile to a storm cloud and back in a matter of seconds. She is becoming a beautiful young lady already.

Rebekah (2) is my youngest. She has a smile to melt the heart. She wants to do everything that the other kids are doing whether it be games, schoolwork or cleaning. She can already make her bed. She has a very strong personality. She is also very girly. She loves her baby dolls (even the one with a missing eye), and playing house or with the dollhouse with her sister. She tries to be very grown up, but still insists on having her bottle.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Also living with us:

Russ's Aunt Shirley is older. She is single with no children. Her health is sometimes not very good and she is in a wheelchair. She lives with us so that we can help take care of her. I like that she can be with the children and not eat alone day after day. No matter how I would try to visit her if she lived somewhere else, I would never feel that it was enough. She is a blessing to have with us. She is now blind in one eye, and doesn't drive. One thing that I can say though is that God has been very good to us, even when her health has been very poor. I am glad that she is here.

My mom is here now too. It is sad how my mom came to be with us. We were hoping that it would be temporary, but it is looking more and more like she is going to be here permanently. That is up to my dad though. He needs to get help, and my mom cannot return home unless he does. We are so blessed to have here here though. Many hands make light work.

Fred (18), my little brother, came here with my mom. I love my brother, I am glad to have him here. He is very sweet and polite for the most part. He is turning into such a handsome, kind and godly gentleman. It is my prayer that he will hold onto that. He has been a help to Russ. Fred loves fixing cars and such, and there is plenty of that to do around here. So it works well as long as he keeps up with his schooling.

Mom and Fred stay in the guest portion of the house.

That is my family. We all live in My Father's House here at Eagle Mountain.



Ellie-Mae -> RE: In My Father's House (3/1/2006 6:25:57 PM)

After Rebekah woke up from her nap today, she came waddling down the stairs and across the kitchen with a big smile on her face, and repeating, "I'm Hannah! Goo-Goo Ga-ga! goo-goo ga-ga!"

Hannah is PrincessDonna's little girl. Rebekah loves her little friend.



Ellie-Mae -> RE: In My Father's House (3/1/2006 9:14:26 PM)

I am currently making chocolate chip cookies to send with Russ to school tomorrow, and he is working on making Penner Fudge. I thought that because I home school our kids that I wouldn't be doing this![&:]

We enjoy it though. I like feeding people. It is one of the ways that we love on people. Think of how important eating together was to Jesus! I haven't been doing it as much lately though. I need to get back into that.

Speaking of food... I think that my dad drove by our house soon after mom came to stay with us. I think that he saw us all gathered around the table eating dinner with Mom and Fred. I can't imagine how he must have felt to see such a cozy family scene only to go home to an empty house.[:o] Especially when he is so angry with Mom and Fred... and the world.

I think of how God must feel with every prodigal son or daughter. Knowing that his child is hurting so much... knowing that they could recieve healing, warmth, love, protection and forgiveness if they should only want it enough to recieve it. He wants so much to love on all of us.

I want so much to love on my dad as well, but he has to want restoration enough to get help. Even though things look really bleak, I am still praying that our relationships with Dad can be restored.



Ellie-Mae -> RE: In My Father's House (3/2/2006 8:20:35 AM)

Well... The fudge didn't turn out the way it was supposed to. It is still yummy though! This doesn't happen as often as it used to though. Penner fudge is one of those things that have to be done juuuuust right or it is too gewy or too hard, and don't even try it if you aren't a Penner. Russ' dad can make it perfectly almost every time.

Russ was only 16 when we started dating, and he knew I loooooved chocolate so he decided to try his hand at making me a batch of Penner fudge. It was his first time making it with his dad, but it came out harder than a rock. He gave it to me anyway. I thought it was such a sweet thing for him to do. I knew I was in love.

I broke off pieces from the edges and it was the best fudge that I had ever tasted. The flavour was unbeatable. I took it home, but couldn't break off much more of it no matter how much I banged it on the counter or with the handle of the knives. After seeing it sit for a few days and spotting the scratches of teethmarks made in desparation, my dad offered to break it up if he could have some. Then after trying a few things, he was finally able to break it apart with his hammer and chisel (I am not kidding).

During the first year of our marrage, we went through a lot of baking cocoa and sugar. We ate a lot of "bricks" and "taffee" that year. It was a very sweet year.

Russ did get good at it though, but I am still glad for his batches of bad fudge. For example, This morning I broke up the fudge that Russ left behind because it felt "like hard plastic". The edges of it make good candy to suck on, but the middle is VERY good for eating. I almost feel bad that he left it behind, but not THAT bad. Yummmm!



Ellie-Mae -> RE: In My Father's House (3/2/2006 5:31:01 PM)

Homeschooling is pretty much done for today, unless Russ decides to give the boys a math lesson after dinner.

I went to the doctor this morning for migraines that I was getting nearly every day for the last couple of weeks. He snapped my neck and gave me a prescription for migraine medicine. I hope it all works.

Aunt Shirley is making dinner. Tonight is her night to make dinner. I get to kick back and enjoy the good cooking! I think she is making "the Recipe" or what I call "Potato Round-Up". Yummmm, yummmm!

My mom has been in cleaning frenzy today. She organized my library that was in pretty bad shape, all the horizontal surfaces in the kitchen and library, including the cupboards in my hutch. She folded all my laundary, taught English and went to her part of the house and organized everything over there including a whole stack catalogues. She doesn't even buy anything through catalogues, but at least they are organized now.

She does this when she is nervous. She has had to take some legal measures concerning my dad. Even though everything is a really good deal for my dad, she is still worried that he may strike out. He is very unpredictable, especially now.

I hate seeing her this way, but I DO have a nice clean house now.[&:] What would she do if I were one of those highly organized people with hardly anything out of place? We may never find out.[;)]



Ellie-Mae -> RE: In My Father's House (3/2/2006 6:07:02 PM)

Sunday school teacher: What did Jesus do?

Timothy: Verbs!



Ellie-Mae -> RE: In My Father's House (3/3/2006 8:19:03 PM)

I am tired from a long busy day. Russ tutors in math right after he gets home from work while the other kids play and I get to visit with the mom. I really enjoy and look forward to that time. I need to figure dinner out better for Fridays though. Russ went and got pizza. by the time we finish eating, it will be almost bedtime. I also have pink eye and have just discovered that Sarah has caught it too.

Mom and I were thinking about going to this thing for the women at our church. I almost went, but it didn't work out. I don't usually go to those things. The idea of spending time with a whole bunch of women is not my idea of fun. The weird thing is that I am actually feeling a little disappointed about not going.

Another strange thing is that I would jump at the opportunity to spend time in a room full of women from CW. I have done it before even, and loved it. In so many ways, the women here have been so much more real to me then the women I can actually see. It is like they have this wall up and I never get to see the real, not-so-perfect them. Walls like that aren't as common here where nobody cares if I know that they are still in their PJ's at 2 pm or that they have science experiments in the fridge. It is ok to get prayer for marriages, children and personal struggles. Not that I want people to all of sudden be airing out their laundary all over the place. I just wish that we didn't have so many walls. They make me timid and uncomfortable.

I don't feel lonely anymore though. I used to feel lonely when I didn't have any friends around here at all... at least not any that had any time to spend with me. I am pretty happy and content right now. The only thing that I am short on right now is "fun-for-me" time. I don't really feel like I am missing it, or even it's absence. I just know that it is something that I should have, and that it might make life just that much more enjoyable.

Donna may not feel like she has a lot to offer people, but she has been real to me. She is my encourager to get together with other women and have fun. When I was pregnant and nursing, I just soooo didn't want to leave home without the support of my hubby, but now my life is changing a little, and God sent me Donna to help me with the transition... even if I am a bit reluctant. I'm comming around.

Thanks Donna![:)]



Ellie-Mae -> RE: In My Father's House (3/3/2006 9:54:41 PM)

I just had a picture of God setting up "play-dates" for us the way mom's often do for their little ones.[8|]



Ellie-Mae -> RE: In My Father's House (3/4/2006 8:07:04 PM)

Today, I was feeling really edgy. I think it was because I was worried that I had been picking on Fred to much about his spending habits. He is so incredibly impulsive with his spending. He is such a hurry to spend all his money. I want him to be better prepared for life financially than I was. We are going to be going through the Dave Ramsey course together. I think that he will be pleasantly suprised at the freedom that having the budget will give him.

Anyway... he went to the mall with mom to buy some clothes from work. While he was there, he traded in his PS2 for a really good deal on a Game Cube. I just couldn't be mad at him. I have been riding him pretty hard about impulse buying. He found a really good deal on something that has games that he can play with all of us (PS2 games are mostly for older teens and adults). He even picked up a Dora game for the girls. And... He knew that I really wanted a Game Cube and was waiting for them to get super cheap (about half of what he paid), and that I had a loooong wait yet. He may be impulsive, but he is sweet.

I do really great most of the time when it comes to my dad, but I always wonder what he is doing alone in that big house every time I sit down for dinner, and I pray that God will keep him safe and bring him back to health.



Ellie-Mae -> RE: In My Father's House (3/7/2006 9:39:50 PM)

Timothy has become very distracted by the new Game Cube which has lead to a series of events.

Timothy has been so distracted that he has wet his pants twice today. With the second time, he lost all computer and Game Cube privaledeges for the rest of today and tomorrow.

I sent him downstairs to the laundary room to change into clean clothes.

About 10 minutes later, I noticed that he was still down stairs. I went to the stairs and called down to him. I think he was already on his way up. He was crying with a very worried look. He kept repeating, "It was an accident! It broke! It was an accident!"

I thought that this was a very bad sign.

I went down to my laundary room to find water spraying from the ceiling like a gieser. It was cold. I saw a pipe traveling along the ceiling that was broke right off on the wrong side of a valve. It was cold water.

I tried to plug it.[8|] I screamed and screamed for someone to come down and help. Mom thought I was UPstairs calling and was looking there. Mom comes down. I tried to find a valve to shut it off. I tried to follow the water lines. I turned every valve I could find. The water kept coming.

I was wet. I was cold. I was UPSET. There is water everywhere. I called a guy from church to come help me.

I remembered that FIL knows all our pipes. I called him and tells me where to find the main valve and shut off the water in the entire house.

I get upstairs to check on Timothy. He is still in his peed in clothes![:@] I sent him to gramma to get changed.

........................................................

Later I talked to Timothy after I had time to calm down.

Did I tell you to go downstairs and change out of your peed-on clothes into clean ones?

yes.

Did you go downstairs and change out of your peed-on clothes into clean ones?

(it took several tries before he gave me the corresct answer) No. (tears began)

What did you do instead?

Disobeyed.

Tell me what you did when you disobeyed?

(This also took several attemps) Broke the pipe. (sobbing)

How did you break it?

We had a discussion on how he already knew that it was wrong to swing from the pipes.

And then the water started spraying out?

Yes. (still sobbing)

And you tried to stop the water didn't you?

Yes.

And you couldn't hide it could you?

No (sobbing really hard)

You wanted to hide it didn't you?

yes.

but you couldn't, could you?

No.

Do you know what it is called when we disobey?

Sin.

The Bible says that we can't hide our sin. It will always show up just like that broken water pipe.

You wanted to fix that pipe, but you couldn't could you?

Yes. (still sobbing)

Do you have money to pay for the pipe?

No.

It is like that with sin. we want to fix it, but we can't. We want to pay for it, but we can't.

Daddy loves you very much. so much that he will pay for the pipe for you, and he will fix the pipe for you because he knows that you can't. He will repair that break and get the water going so that you can have the water back. Just like Jesus paid for our sins by dying on the cross and forgiving us for our sins. He will get our relationship with God flowing again just like it was before it was broken with sin.

Since Daddy was the one who told him not to swing from the pipes, and he is paying for the pipe, and he is the one who will fix it, Daddy is the one that you need to apologize to for disobeying him and and for breaking the pipes.

The same is true with Jesus. Since we disobeyed God, and Jesus has paid the price and fixed the broken relationship with God so we don't have to be separated from God and can be with Him forever, He is the one that we need to ask for forgiveness from. Only with Jesus, He is the ONLY one who can forgive us of all our sin and the only one who can take it all away, and the only one who can restore us to God. We just need to realize that we can't take care of our sin by ourselves, realize that Jesus has already taken care of it, ask Him to forgive us and to help us live for Him and not sin anymore.

I know that many of you are waiting to hear the good news of what seems to be the obvious outcome of such an event. I will let you know when it happens, but it doesn't look like it will be tonight.

........................................................

Later: Timothy gets out of bed and goes to the top of the stairs, tears in his eyes.

"Mommy, let me know when Daddy comes home. I want to apologize to him."

"Yes, baby, I will."

I wish you would talk to your heavenly Father too. He loves you so much.




Ellie-Mae -> RE: In My Father's House (3/8/2006 9:05:54 AM)

The stores were closed so Russ wasn't able to buy piping. He scavanged around and found some pipes and enough of the smelly glue stuff to put something together. He really sweat it out because he wasn't sure that his makeshift fix would hold tegether. They did. He discoverend that the valve on the other side of the break was shut off so he turned it on. It was then that I discovered water pouring from the ceiling in Aunt Shirley's bathroom on the floor above the laundary room. Floor above Aunt Shirley's room but couldn't find where the water was coming from.

What happened was that there used to be shower upstairs on the children's level. Russ took it out and made me a closet. He cut off the water pipes and turned of the valve that led to them. The vavle is in the laundary room. When he turned on the valve it released water into the floor, it ran through the ceiling in Aunt Shirley's bathroom, through that floor and the ceiling in the laundary room (why is it that the water flows through that pipe was so determined to soak my laundary room?) ceiling where it ran down around a light bulb that was on.

At that point I was so frazzled that I was almost to tears. Russ looked at me (while the water poured through the ceiling around the lightbulb) and said, "It's OK. We have leaks worse than this. We have had water pouring down through ALL our floors when we first moved here!"

To make the long story short... All Russ had to do was to plug up the pipe because it didn't need to run through anyway.

During all that Russ also fixed the furnace in the little house. After all that, Russ graded his math papers for the day.

I was so stressed out that I never was able to get warm agin after I was soaked with cold water. Russ said that it was warm in our bed even though I was begging for more blankets. I am exhausted. I am sure that Russ is also.



Ellie-Mae -> RE: In My Father's House (3/8/2006 9:22:45 AM)

My mom just came up here to tell me a brilliant idea of what we could do next time a pipe breaks like that.

Next time???!!!![sm=icon_smile_yikes.gif][sm=icon_smile_faint.gif]



Ellie-Mae -> RE: In My Father's House (3/8/2006 10:57:15 AM)


BUBBLE GUM


I think that having chewing gum with children is the bane of most mother's excistances.

I never gave my children gum. I barely ever let them have gum that other people gave them as a gift. I so did not wnat to deal with gum.

Something happened to change that. It became a necessary part of home schooling. They have speach impediments. Speach therapy, it was discovered that they had weak tongues. Chewing bubble gum is good for stregnthening the tongue. I still couldn't stand gum, so I came up with a way that I could feel good about letting them have chewing gum.

1. They are only allowed to have it while reading book assignments, or playing with table toys if they are younger.

2. They are not to leave their seats with gum.

3. Gum is to stay in their mouths unless blowing a bubble.

4. No handling the gum with fingers unless it it to put it in the mouth or throw it in the garbage.

5. If you are done reading, then you are done chewing.

6. If any rules, except for #7, are broken then the gum goes straight into the garbage.

7. No swallowing the gum!

It has worked really well. They get a much coveted treat, and I get to have peace and quiet AND they read a lot of good books!



Ellie-Mae -> RE: In My Father's House (3/23/2006 9:59:04 AM)

I had another post pretty much ready to put up. It was about some of the things that we learned on our Spring vacation. Unfortuanately, I keep forgetting to get it off my hubby's laptop so that will have to wait. I really needed to talk about something else before the time was past.

I was repeatedly molested as a child, and this has cropped up again and again all my life. I have been assulted by complete strangers even. I couldn't explain why. I don't dress in a way that attracts attention. I even ask my husband for his opinion when I am picking out clothes. The problem has been greatly reduced, but so has my contact with other men.

Donna said something to me the other day, and she said that she didn't know why she was telling me. I knew why. I knew immediately that the Lord was using her to talk to me. Instantly, my world took on a different look. It wasn't like she opened a window or a door, it was like the whole side of the house was opened, waiting for me to step through. I couldn't believe it. I don't have to live in fear of slide remarks or being touched inappropriately. I can be free! Really Free!

I called a lady in the church. She and our Pastor's wife is going to meet with me to pray for this deliverance. Before I met with Donna I didn't even know that I needed deliverance. I thought that this was just the way of life for me.

Until I meet with them, I am writing everything down so it can be prayed for. Actually, I am typing it. I am writing everything! I am trying not to leave anything out. I want it all dealt with. If there is something else in my life that needs dealing wih, it will be dealt with. If there is sin in my life, I want victory.

The lack of this kind of deliverance was probably a large part of what made me so suicidal as I was growing up. I needed deliverance and the church that I was in offered no hope except for grace to get by from day to day. I don't mean to belittle the importance of grace, but what I was looking for wasn't just an asperin to make me feel better. I wanted to BE better. What they were offering was a teaspoon of water in the midst of a drought, when I desired so deeply for a well overflowing with clear spring water.

How could they, the leaders in church and at school, know that it was my deepest desire to be like Enoch? Oh how wonderful it must be, the joy of it, the peace, having that approval without feeling constant shame... To walk with God! How could they when my life was a mess and I just couldn't get have any victories in my life? How could they when they despised me and deemed me worthless? They didn't even want to know me.

I thank God that He stood by me during all that time. He would never let me go. I could feel his presence no matter where I was or what I was doing. He saved me from death and retardation when I was a toddler. He saved me from eternal death. I knew He loved me beyond words. But I have always felt like the child of a royal doting parent who is being loved inspite of such obvious flaws. Everyone else couldn't see past the flaws at the beauty locked inside. Repulsive yet full of value for the treasure placed deep within.

Of course, not everyone felt that way about me, but it seemed that the majority of people did to varying degrees. If God hadn't been right there with me from the time I was born... I don't know how I would have made it. Sometimes I am so foolish to put such an importance on this life. It is but a breath and it is gone. Why should I feel that this is eternally long, and what is to come is so far away? Sometimes eternity seemd so close... in my darkest hours I could almost touch it. I so wanted to be totally encased my Father's presence. I still have this desire, but it is in it's place and has been for a long time now.

I am rambling now, but I am so happy to offered deliverance. I have cried off and on ever since I talked with Donna. All I can say to my mom when she sees my face is, "It's all good!"



Ellie-Mae -> RE: In My Father's House (3/23/2006 11:05:42 AM)

When I was on vacation. A friend of Fred, told him that Dad wanted to see him. My brother was missing his Dad so he went to visit. Before Fred even got to the door, Dad flew out of the house and started punching him. They had quite a little fight and the police were called.

The police asked Fred if he wanted Dad arrested and he said no because he was never coming back. He also told dad that if he kept doing drive-bys and such where he worked that he was going to get a restraining order put on him.

That is what Fred and my Mom are doing now because Dad is still driving through where Fred works and makes sure that Frred can see him. It is so sad, but so necessary.[:o] Please pray for them if you feel so lead.



Ellie-Mae -> RE: In My Father's House (3/23/2006 5:51:51 PM)

Update on today:

My brother officially has a restraining order on my dad. It is a temperary one, and my dad has to appear in court on the 13th to get the rest of the story.

I have typed a LOT today. I needed prayer from friends to get through some of it. I have realized that I can't do it all at once. It is a process, and I have to be patient. I am going to have to do this in parts. I can really feel the Holy Spirit's leading. I am not normally able to break things down into bite size chunks, but it just sort of happened naturally as I was writing. It is orderly and makes sense. It is really unlike me.

I think that I have hit a wall. Nothing more is coming out of me that I can organize into words. I may add little things as I go, but I think that I am done for now. The rest will wait until next time I think.

My head really hurts from crying.

It's all good!



Ellie-Mae -> RE: In My Father's House (3/24/2006 7:33:12 PM)

Dear God,

If you ever get to talk to my dad, will you tell him that I love him and that I really miss him? This other guy is really scary.




Ellie-Mae -> RE: In My Father's House (3/25/2006 5:44:05 PM)

It's funny how you never know what is going to leave a lasting impression on someone. I used love camping, unfortuanately it came with a lot of unwanted baggage. I was constantly picked to death by the other girls for many reasons including just being a Christain. I loved the activities and being outside and roughing it, but the excitement was mingled with fear and intrepidation of being subjected to the nastiness of the other girls.

One camping trip was noticably different, and to this day it was one of the fondest memories I have of camping. My Uncle had a job as a chef in the kitchen there. I went my Aunt, Uncle and a cousin who was the same age as me. Cousin M wasn't the roughing it type, so I knew that this was going to be a pretty cushy place and it was. We slept in a really nice building with running water in the bathrooms. There was an in-ground swimming pool, and horses, and all kinds of nice stuff. I don't remember what kind of structured stuff they had. We had a lot of time to just enjoy ourselves. It ws a lot of fun.

The first week we spent in our own room with a camp counselor. I had so much fun the first week that the next week we stayed in the biggest room. It was filled with other girls. I was the first one in the room so it was decided that I would be room leader, M was the second so she was second in command. We all treated each other with respect, and it was the enjoyable time that I have ever had with other girls. It may not have been my usual fair of roughing it, but I would have gone back in heartbeat if given the chance. I think that I would have been happy to spend the entire summer there. I never did have the oppertunity to go back. I don't think that my Uncle ever worked there again.

While I was there, I got to be known for falling asleep early. Actually, my cousin was nice that I liked having her in charge of the room sometimes so I would fake being asleep. Besides, she deserved it be in charge as much as I did. The rule we made was that If the first in charge was asleep or gone, whoever was next in line would take over. M made a good leader too.

I don't know if I ever told my Uncle and Aunt how much I enjoyed that time, but I am sure that they know (now at least). I am glad that they took me along.

I now have a niece that wants to travel with us. I am thinking about taking her along one of these times. I hope that I can give her good memories like my Aunt and Uncle gave me.[:)]



Ellie-Mae -> RE: In My Father's House (3/28/2006 8:17:44 PM)

Just about everyone here is sick with a viral something or other. We are all just dragging around. Some of us are fighting fevers. Russ has had an ear ache for over a week now and Rebekah has had her ear ache for several days. They went to the doctor. Apparently this viral thing is going around and it causes the tubes in the ear to swell so there isn't anything you can really do for it but take pain releavers that also brings down swelling.

Rebekah is the most trying. She whines almost non-stop, won't go to anyone but me, wakes up at night so many times that we bring her into our bed where she tosses and turns the rest of the night... but at least she is sleeping.

I just ordered the home study for Financial Peace University. Ouch! That was painful, but I have no doubt that it will be worth it. We are all going to do the homw study together. It comes with DVD's. The lady at FPU strongly recommended it since teens tend to do much better with the visual. My brother IS very visual, and I want to make sure that he has the best start possible.

Timothy wet in his pants twice today.[:@] It really irks me. He has been doing so well.

Yesterday, I got him a math book to do for fun. He loved it, but insisted on having his own camera man and such (like on BJU) before he would even think about doing one page in it. [sm=hammerhead.gif]I took it away until this morning.

Yesterday, I took Fred with me on a Sam's run. I don't think that it ever occured to him why I always went with another adult. Halfway through the store he told me that he was working just as hard as if he had stayed on the farm. (of course I did put all the heavy things that I could into his cart[;)]). We got $637 dollars worth of groceries which included $40 for DVD-Rs to record onto. That should last us the entire month. The others will help with the milk that we will need in another week until the end of the four weeks and with other incidentals that will crop up. And to think... I remember having to check with Russ to buy one thing at the Dollar Tree because it could mean the difference between paying a bill and a bounced check. Times have changed for us.



Ellie-Mae -> RE: In My Father's House (4/3/2006 10:33:58 AM)

I am feeling a bit down today. Why is it when people are in the most need that even the people that you thought you were close to desert you? Both sets of grandparents are gone. My mom only has her sister and BIL (really only her sister). One brother is in jail for child molesting, the other won't talk about what is happening at all, and has even with held information that was very hurtful. My SIL (true to nature) has never been anything but harmful. I don't expect people that are just yucky anyway to be nice or helpful, but I thought that those closest to you would chip in and uplift you in such a low time..

I have learned alot about spousal abuse sinse this began. There are a lot of reasons that a person will go back to an abusive situation. It is hard and tiring to stick to your guns so they go back. Most women are not used to having to make decisions and then they are suddely overwhelmed by the volume of descisions that they have to make so they bo back. All there friends desert them since they don't want to get involved so they go back. They have no place to stay so they go back. Relatives will tell them that "no person should be treated that way" and yet expect the victim to bo gack so they aren't bothered by the mess anymore. Some people will actually blame the victim for the abuse making the victim feel guilty or shamed so they go back. They begin to believe that all the trouble that the family is having is THEIR fault so they go back.

Anyway, they usually go back without resolving the problem... and the abuse escalates.

I feel angry. I feel like that is what people want for my mother... to be isolated, belittled, intimidated, ridiculed, lied about, hushed-up, and punished so THEY can feel more comfortable.

I am NOT for divorce, but I can't tell somebody that God wants them to live like that through my inaction or by giving them a cold shoulder. They should be able to get out of danger. Where are the churches when it concerns spusal abuse. Why aren't they stpping in?

I am so glad for our church that welcomed her wounded spirit with open arms. I hope that she can make some really good friendships there, but it is really hard to reach out when you have been pushed away so often that you start feel like maybe you should just go back.

She isn't that tempted to go back because she has us, but she sure is tired, and she sure can understand why others do.



Ellie-Mae -> RE: In My Father's House (4/3/2006 1:32:55 PM)

Y'all must have been praying for me. I am feeling better now. I think my pity party is over now, although it is hard to have any kind of party without ice cream.

I discovered something new that tastes REALLY yummy! I made tomatoe soup using milk and then added a little bit of salsa and some cheddar cheese. All the kids wwanted seconds!

Today Russ is meeting with this guy to show AS's house. At first, I felt bad for the people renting it, but if this guy buys it he will just rent it out anyway! I really hope our tennets cooperate, and that he gives us a really good offer. The tennants that we have in there now want to buy it, but they can't even come up with a down payment. They will have first dibs on the house, but they will have to get an actual morgage which I don't think that they will be able to. It would so nice to unload the house and pay off all of AS's bills.

We have started the Dave Ramsey course. Fred is really excited. He is 18 now, and if he can save and invest $2000 every year he will be doing really well for himself. He is really learning to trust us that we are not just making a bunch of rules and guidlines without very good reason for each one. I am really proud of how well he is submitting to authority. I am sure that it hasn't been easey. Friday (the day that the course came), he wanted to buy a four wheeler for $500. He was really disappointed at not getting it, but he accepted it. After one video lesson with Dave Ramsey, he can already see that buying it would have been unwise at best.

We have had many conversations showing him what goals we have for his life. We are trying to prepare him for adulthood, but it is hard with the examples that he has of kids who get everything they want without really earning it, and they have quit school to boot.We have gone to great legnths to show him example after example where he could really see that the person who submit grows in maturity the fastest and gets more respect and freedom than the person who fights to control his own life. I think he really sees it.

That is the way God intended for all of us to grow. Resisting instruction curbs your ability to mature. Submitting to authority allows you to grow in maturity and gives people the ability to trust you thereby giving you more responsibilities with the perks of freedom.

It is even like that in our spiritual walk. How much do we grow when we are fighting to maintain control of our lives? We get so much further, and have so many blessings and oppertunities open up for us when we submit to His authority... and then we really see growth, and our wings are able to unfurl as we are bouyed up by His will for us.



Ellie-Mae -> RE: In My Father's House (4/5/2006 11:54:49 AM)

Aunt Shirly has an aid that comes to clean and help her. Yesterday day Rebekah showed her one of AS's dolls and said "Hannah!" Then She ran off and got one of her own dolls "Hannah!" After being shown a couple of more "Hannahs", the aide asked, "Are they all named Hannah?" To Rebekah they are! Every baby that she sees on TV is named Hannah too.

The funny thing is that Hannah isn't really a "baby" baby anymore. She walks, talks, climbs and does all the toddler stuff. She is catching up with Rebekah, but Rebekah doesn't realize it yet. All babies are "Hannah" to Rebekah... well... almost.

We were visiting a friend with a baby whose name was Hannah. When Rebekah first saw her she called her Hannah, but later, when we brought the girls together, I asked Rebekah what she thought the babies name was/should be. I thought it would be funny to have her anounce "Hannah" and then for us to say that was a really good idea and start calling her Hannah. We had already told the parents how ALL babies are called Hannah to Rebekah. Sooooo... of course, she would NOT say Hannah. She would not say that the baby should be Hannah. I couldn't believe it. I forgot the rule that says that children will not do what you expect them to do if you expect them to do it for company.



Ellie-Mae -> RE: In My Father's House (4/13/2006 7:05:33 AM)

A couple of ladies from church are going to pray over me this morning. I have already seen some deliverance, and I can't wait to get the rest of it. I found out that I had more faith than I thought that I did (Donna seems to have learned that too maybe ) Anyway, I would love prayer as I go through this. I will probably be dealing with some painful issues of things like long term sexual abuse. To top it off, my main abuser got out of jail last night. It wasn't planned that way. God must have done it.



Ellie-Mae -> RE: In My Father's House (5/5/2006 2:23:26 PM)

The devil has been really hammering on me this week.

Sunday: I left church early because Rebekah had diareah. After we got home, I discovered that Sarah was sick too. Having two messy kids who can't make it to the potty at once is very stressful.

Monday: Timothy broke his collar bone rolling down a hill (spent HOURS in ER), and a dear friend of mine had a miscarrage.

Tuesday: Timothy goes to the doctors. Rebekah runs across the road where a police officer sees her.

Wednesday: Rebekah is really sick with fever and coughing. neither Rebekah or Timothy slept well the night before and were extremely clingy and Rebekah was crying and even screaming all day.

Thursday: Take Rebekah to the doctors to find out she has really bad ear infection. CPS shows up (it went well though).

Friday: Another doctors appointment for Timothy's arm (it is healling well). I got letter from someone who sexually abused me for years when I was a child and then was mad because I wouldn't let him do it to his own girls. The letter was full of swearing and cussing and I didn't read it. I will let Russ read it.

I need a vacation.



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