RE: Pet Peeves: What are the worst assumptions made about singles?
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RE: Pet Peeves: What are the worst assumptions made ab... - 5/26/2006 4:52:11 PM
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zoey
Posts: 838
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: The Buckle
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Usually, when I get mail from them, it's a letter saying, "hey! We prayed for you today."
that was not what I read today...
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RE: Pet Peeves: What are the worst assumptions made ab... - 5/26/2006 6:01:16 PM
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dsfuva
Posts: 1830
Joined: 8/25/2005
From: Virginia
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I once received a fund-raising solicitation from a political candidate which was addressed to Mr. & Mrs. dsfuva (ok, dsfuva is not my real name, but you get the picture).
It should come as no surprise that my donations to this candidate equalled Zoey's donations to her alma mater.
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RE: Pet Peeves: What are the worst assumptions made ab... - 5/26/2006 9:34:51 PM
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zoey
Posts: 838
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: The Buckle
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ah
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RE: Pet Peeves: What are the worst assumptions made ab... - 5/30/2006 3:59:32 PM
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loveSOG
Posts: 2
Joined: 9/6/2005
From: Baltimore, MD
Status: offline
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Sorry my reply is long! 
An ex-friend said that I would always be single because I was too tall!??!! (I'm 5'11'') Her exact quote was “ No man will date a tall woman” She said it at a time, in high school, when I had little to no self-esteem. So, I believed her. She would always say she was "joking".
The final straw came when a group of my college friends came over to watch movies. She actually started going around the room and saying "When you get married, you'll be Mrs. so and so, then you'll be Mrs. so and so, and Traci....you'll be Mrs. nothing.” (And yes, I did say this was in college, not high school….can you believe her??) The room was quiet except for her laughing hysterically. (Apparently, she was the only one who thought it was funny.) It really got to me only because the night before we had a conversation about my singleness. I told her that I always felt terrible about it, but I was starting to come to terms with it. She knew it was a sensitive subject. She was so understanding on the phone! Well, after her little announcement, I didn’t say a word..I just glared at her. (She, of course, didn’t have the guts to look at me!) It must have been a pretty bad look because my friend quickly said,” Uhh, Traci, it will happen you just need patience.”
I think she didn’t feel good about herself, so she used my insecurity to make herself feel better. Once I realized this, I ended this toxic friendship. I am a stronger person for it. I have learned that my confidence comes from my relationship with Christ. It does not come from how others see me. Men have showed interest. (no Christian ones yet, but I’m hopeful!) So much for her theory!
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RE: Pet Peeves: What are the worst assumptions made ab... - 6/21/2006 2:39:16 AM
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tdrew777
Posts: 169
Joined: 1/1/2006
From: Persiadelphia Rica
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quote:
ORIGINAL: A-Tech
One assumption I made about myself is that because I may have long-term singleness, I'm going to be called to be a m in some hard-to-pronounce country. While m is a good thing, God has other reasons for calling people to be single.
Some folks in my home church had trouble with me leaving the USA.....because I'm single.
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RE: Pet Peeves: What are the worst assumptions made ab... - 8/5/2006 12:24:02 AM
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A-Tech
Posts: 67
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Illinois
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quote:
"the poor girl" needs to be in the nursery so she can identify with motherhood!
At a church I used to go to, I couldn't serve in children's ministry because I was a single man. They thought it would look bad to new visitors.
Also one time at a Bible study, it was like my second time there, after the lesson was over during fellowship time, no one would talk to me (like my singleness was contagious), so I went over to where the kids were playing and kind of interacted with them (since some think anyway that I'm just a big child because I'm single), and I got some of the dirtiest looks from the others.
Harming a child is the furthest thing from my mind. Some people need to get a grip.
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--Corrie ten Boom
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RE: Pet Peeves: What are the worst assumptions made ab... - 1/5/2007 9:56:05 PM
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A-Tech
Posts: 67
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Illinois
Status: offline
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Why can't others just assume that a single person is just that... a normal single person. So far, I've been assumed to be either gay, after children, or after other men's wives.
_____________________________
"Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God."
--Corrie ten Boom
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RE: Pet Peeves: What are the worst assumptions made ab... - 1/6/2007 10:08:51 AM
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paradoxical
Posts: 1
Joined: 5/8/2005
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I am just newly single and was reading through many of your posts.
First I'd like to say, thank you for your comments. I will be more sensitive to never-marrieds.
The other thing that I'd like to say is that I congratulate you all for NOT getting married. I setttled for someone with whom I'm not compatible because my mom would tell me that I was never going to get married because I did this or that. Now I'm divorced with children to suffer the consequences of my impatience.
Over the last year, I have learned some things which I wish that I had known before I married. It may be cliche, but it is true: do not marry someone that you can live with; marry someone that you can't live without.
The other crucial piece of information that I did not have was to marry someone with whom I have synergy, which means that 1 + 1 does not equal 2 but 3, 4, or 5. In other words, marry someone (of course, a Christian) that inspires (not commands) you to be the best you that God created you to be and for whom you do the same.
Well, thanks again, and have a great day!
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RE: Pet Peeves: What are the worst assumptions made ab... - 1/6/2007 10:20:44 AM
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mutinywxgirl
Posts: 12573
Joined: 4/29/2005
From: west coast of FL
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Paradoxical - love the name!
Welcome to the forums! You will find a wonderful group here, and many in your same situation.
Thank you for sharing your story. I know it's something, as a never-married and soon to be 46 year old woman, that I need to hear all the time.
We look forward to getting to know you better!
Join the fun!!!!!
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Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.
Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
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RE: Pet Peeves: What are the worst assumptions made ab... - 1/6/2007 1:29:11 PM
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mmartiandt
Posts: 3639
Joined: 9/18/2006
From: The World
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quote:
i've got one like that! my brother and i used to live together (before he got married). We both graduated from the same Bible college. so, the college would send us mail to Mr. and Mrs...
When I read this, I was reminded of a story. My brother and I were visiting some friends of ours over a college break, and at their church we were sent (by the usher) to what we thought was the college and career class. Part way through the class, we realized they had sent us to the young marrieds! Talk about akward. At the end of class (since we couldn't just walk out or correct the error then) we made sure to introduce ourselves quite differently. "Hi, my name is Brian, and this is my sister Denise. We all had a good laugh about it later, but I couldn't believe the usher just assumed because our last names were the same that we had to be married!
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RE: Pet Peeves: What are the worst assumptions made ab... - 1/6/2007 11:10:03 PM
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marywho
Posts: 4
Joined: 1/2/2007
Status: offline
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quote: Misunderestimation: That singles can not offer wisdom to marrieds.
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU FOR THIS ONE!!!
Where is it written that married people are the only ones capable of imparting wisdom. The older I get and remain unmarried, the worse it gets. There are things that we long time singles can share because of our unique position. It is like being the clearing of a forest and watching the "happily marrieds" constantly trip over the same tree root sticking out of the ground in the path. We can see it, try to warn them of it. Do they listen? Noooooo, because we're not married.
But yet we have to endure them trying to relive there single days thru us. Also, I get so sick and tired of people who have been married for umpteen years ( and/or to umpteen partners) trying to tell me what it is like to be single and celibate at 51 and they havent been either since junior high school!!!!!
Also "well, hon, if you would just loose some weight and fix your self up" is another one that makes me just want to smack 'em! If that is all it takes, then why are so many fashionably thin and fixed up females changing partners like they change their shoes?
And another one: "Your standards are too high" and then parades men past me that they dont even want!
Whew. Ok. I'm done. Been enjoying reading the other posts, too.
(I am new to this so bear with me as I learn how to manuever the site - couldnt quite get the hang of using the quote box feature.)
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RE: Pet Peeves: What are the worst assumptions made ab... - 1/7/2007 10:44:42 PM
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Onecontent
Posts: 57
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
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Assumptions about singles..
Because you are single you have the maturity level of a teenager even though you are old enough to be the parent of a teenager. I had a choir director lead a Bible study on dating to singles in our late 20s and 30s using a junior high school curriculium because we were overgrown children in his mind.
Everything you do revovles around getting a mate. When I went on my first cruise the aformentioned choir director told the pastor that I was "cruising for men" and that benighted twit preached a sermon about the evils of going on a vacation just to get a man. Please note that neither of these men took their wives on decent vactions. The choir director's wife asked me where and where I was going on future vacations because I did more on vacation than she did with her husband. She seriously considered inviting herself along.
People assume that singles are jealous of married people. Ya gotta laugh at that one knowing some married people.
People assume they "know how we feel". My aunt told me she "understood how I felt" and that everytime she thought about it, prior to meeting her second husband, she would make lot of spaghetti. I have no clue as to what this woman is referring. I eat spaghetti because it is inexpensive and tastes good.
People assume that every single is pinning to be a parent. While many of us are, some of us know that we should not be responsible for molding young minds. Hence we are not desperate to be parents.
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RE: Pet Peeves: What are the worst assumptions made ab... - 1/10/2007 12:12:20 AM
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Jon-Marc
Posts: 26
Joined: 1/8/2007
From: Hudson, FL
Status: offline
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That none of us can be trusted and are only after sex.
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RE: Pet Peeves: What are the worst assumptions made ab... - 3/13/2007 6:50:52 PM
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A-Tech
Posts: 67
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Illinois
Status: offline
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I'm assumed to be a bad risk in terms of dating. Sometimes, I've mentioned or even outright asked others about setting me up. Every time, I get a response that conveys the message that I'm a bad risk, because I have no dating history, and what little history I have isn't good - and they don't want to damage the relationship with a person that I might be set up with. (If I had a good dating history, I wouldn't need help in being set up - it's a catch 22 situation.)
They use the same principle that a bank uses in deciding whether to give a loan to someone - if the person's credit history isn't good, or has little to no credit history, then the bank won't grant the loan. I just don't see why people I ask for help won't just take a risk and do me a favor. I'm not that bad of a person. I don't want to borrow money, I just need help in finding someone.
< Message edited by A-Tech -- 3/13/2007 8:52:23 PM >
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"Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God."
--Corrie ten Boom
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RE: Pet Peeves: What are the worst assumptions made ab... - 3/13/2007 11:38:06 PM
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Enoch195
Posts: 129
Joined: 12/5/2006
From: Alberta, Canada
Status: offline
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That they must be rich since they have only to look after themselves..
That they must have something wrong with them...
They made a choice to be single..
They are too picky..
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RE: Pet Peeves: What are the worst assumptions made ab... - 3/14/2007 6:03:53 PM
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kalaidescopic
Posts: 75
Joined: 5/6/2006
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: mmartiandt
quote:
i've got one like that! my brother and i used to live together (before he got married). We both graduated from the same Bible college. so, the college would send us mail to Mr. and Mrs...
When I read this, I was reminded of a story. My brother and I were visiting some friends of ours over a college break, and at their church we were sent (by the usher) to what we thought was the college and career class. Part way through the class, we realized they had sent us to the young marrieds! Talk about akward. At the end of class (since we couldn't just walk out or correct the error then) we made sure to introduce ourselves quite differently. "Hi, my name is Brian, and this is my sister Denise. We all had a good laugh about it later, but I couldn't believe the usher just assumed because our last names were the same that we had to be married!
LOL!! 
When my 19 year old nephew and I visited a new church almost two years ago, the usher shook my nephew's hand warmly, then turning towards me, asked him, "Is this your wife?" (This wasn't the first time something similar had happened.) I'm older than his father......I ain't no cradle-snatcher!!!  
< Message edited by kalaidescopic -- 3/14/2007 6:40:35 PM >
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