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Encouragement for singles to SERVE thread - 11/30/2008 1:38:28 AM
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SamsonUSA
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This is something that has been weighing heavy on my heart for some time. I come across many people who love the Lord who have big aspirations to someday serve the Lord in far away mission fields around the world. Yet when I ask them in which ministry they are currently serving in at their local church many are not serving at all. Why is that I ask? I believe before He sends us off to the African jungles or any other faraway place He wants to see us faithful in little things first in preparation for larger responsibilities He may choose to bestow upon us in the future.
So singles where are you currently serving? If you aren't currently serving in your local church what has kept you from serving? How can we ( your CW brethren in the Lord) encourage and help you to find a ministry to serve in where your gifts can best be utilized for His glory?
_____________________________
Knowledge humbles great men, astonishes the common man, and puffs up the little man
Chubby babies rock!
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RE: Encouragement for singles to SERVE thread - 11/30/2008 5:40:41 AM
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onthewayray
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Well I help out in many ways at my church and with a a few others ministries outside of the church as well. A lot of what, I do not tell many people about nor do many people know that I do what I do.
There are a few people that ask why I cant help when I say no. I think some times, they think the church is the only way we can reach people for Christ. I belive that God can uses us right where we are. There are a lot of people that will never enter a church building. We need to be open at any time to share with someone about Christ. The people around us everyday that will see something in us as Christains that they themself dont have and they may ask us what is it thats makes us so happy. We should tell them about Jesus and His love for them.
Back to what you ask just pray that God will open the eyes of our hearts so we can see what He wants us to do and we have the heart to serve where ever He leads us to be no matter where it may be.
_____________________________
I am still being shaped by God.
Isaiah 64:8
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RE: Encouragement for singles to SERVE thread - 11/30/2008 7:10:27 AM
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mutinywxgirl
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I am part of my international disaster relief team - technically, we are missionaries from my church. I am unable to go out yet, but, because of my background, I am the one to help coordinate many things that we do. Also, my photography comes in handy, as I'm the one "shooting" us when we respond locally. I'm also part of a ladies discipleship group, and another discipleship class for future leadership opportunities within the church.
_____________________________
When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.
Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
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RE: Encouragement for singles to SERVE thread - 11/30/2008 8:08:57 AM
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ShallbeRebuilt
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Samson;
Before I was widowed I served a LOT in church. When I did, I took my kids with me. We were up at the church often, and mostly I worked in the children's ministry or in music.
When my husband was killed I kept serving some, but had to pull back a little due to having to be both mommy and daddy and business manager. Then when the children were a little older and we moved to a new church, I got right in and started "living" at the church again. I could do that because my husband had provided for us well, and for many years I did not have to work to support us.
Over the years, though, the money has decreased and so my need to support my family has increased. Finally I decided that I must have more time to prepare myself to enter the workforce full time, so when we were forced to leave the church we had been at for 4 years because the pastor was discovered to be unrepentantly manipulative and unethical, I realized that I'd have to be very careful with my commitments at a new church.
I am now the music director at our church, after having volunteered in the children's area for awhile. My children still volunteer or are paid to work in our children's area, and I am paid as the music director.
What bothers me is that my church doesn't understand why I am not there every time the doors are open to participate in all the social and "ministry" activities that are available, nor do they understand why I do not stand around visiting with everyone after church.
I work that job and another, and go to school full time; and attempt to mother my children in the between times. Yet I'm seen as just not doing enough at our church. As of right now I am being asked to "pray about" serving in the children's area again (volunteer, in addition to my music directing job) because they started a children's choir in an ill-considered move with people in leadership who were known to be unfaithful and too immature to handle such a job...and now those people are being unfaithful and immature (go figure) and the children who have been coming are going to suffer if someone doesn't take it over.
I have served all my life in my churches. I do now and will continue to do so. ALL Christians, single or not, should be serving in some capacity not only IN their churches, but in everyday life ready to give a reason for the hope that is in them.
But it has taken me years to realize that I will never be able to do enough to make church people happy--because they preach "God first, family second, church third" but they don't really believe it, and they refuse to understand a single parent's position. I might mention that none of my churches since my husband's death have so much as hammered a nail or clipped a bit of grass at my house as a ministry to me, even when asked.
I'm not bitter about it, but I can tell you that I have no problem saying a resounding "NO" when it compromises what God has already asked me to do: go to school and ultimately support my family.
I realize that your thread is more for singles who are not parents. But I might mention, singles, that if you are not involved in a formal ministry in your church, and you are moved to service by this thread and/or by God's leading, you might look to a single parent in your church and see what you can do for them. THAT is an area that the church is failing to address, and those single parents will be grateful for any little thing you can bless them with.
shallbe
_____________________________
SHALLBE’S BATTY BELFRY
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RE: Encouragement for singles to SERVE thread - 11/30/2008 9:33:52 AM
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rgod
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ShallbeRebuilt
But it has taken me years to realize that I will never be able to do enough to make church people happy--because they preach "God first, family second, church third" but they don't really believe it, and they refuse to understand a single parent's position. I'm not bitter about it, but I can tell you that I have no problem saying a resounding "NO" when it compromises what God has already asked me to do: go to school and ultimately support my family.
I agree with this. Many times I've served until I was burnt out - then let people guilt me into serving more beyond that. I didn't know at that time how to say no. I was a people pleaser. It wasn't the people - it was my fault for not having better boundaries. But you'd better believe I know how to say no now.
I think that you are right - you have to listen to what God tells you to do - and you've got to serve or be where he wants you to. That might be outside of the church (I personally think more people should be doing that, than say - organizing the church birthday party - but that is my own personal bias.) But if people don't see you serving in church, they think that you are being lazy. I used to think that way, until I spent a lot of time talking with the people in church who weren't involved much, and found out that a lot of them did other things that were making a much bigger impact on the community than I was, for all of my serving.
To answer the OP's question, right now, I serve in the music ministry in my church. I haven't been able to do much with it thus far because I've been working during the rehearsal nights. This church is one that encourages you to be there every time the church doors open. But, it also encourages you to actively serve in one thing at a time. I love that part. The other day, two people asked me to join their ministries. They didn't even know my name, my character, my gifts, even if I was saved - they saw I was new I guess. I said no, because I'm already involved in something and I don't want to go down the path of overserving and overworking again. But, I do miss serving more. A lot. I miss ministering to the people in terms of their emotional needs. I do that a bit in other places, but I'm frustrated that I can't really help people more you know? I don't have the background, the training, to really help people the way I'd like to. I hope that the Lord opens the door for that type of ministry. But I don't want to get sidetracked into all of the other "stuff" - you know? The things that are nice, but I don't feel called to.
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RE: Encouragement for singles to SERVE thread - 11/30/2008 9:44:21 AM
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Prairiehiker
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This is probably not a response that you’re going to appreciate but I’ll respond the same way every time I am asked why I don’t serve.
I’ve mentioned it before and I’ll mention it again. Service is something you do with your life the moment you decide to follow Christ and not just for a couple of hours on Sunday. Service is a not an activity you do socially. At the heart of service is a heart that desires to use the gifts that were given to you by God. IT doesn’t necessarily have to come with an official title at church as a choir director, or a Sunday school teacher. God says that He sees your prayers behind close doors. Im sure He sees our service that doesn’t take place inside a church.
I’m sure God consider what I do as service to him, and service to his people. I have the gift of mercy. When I go to church on Sundays, people always looks for me to tell me about their weeks, about their problems with their jobs, their spouse, their kids…sometimes, I don’t get to hear the message because I am listening to someone. I wondered about this before and felt like no one cared to ask about me, and I was a sounding board for everyone. Then, someone here pointed out that this is a gift; that people find it easy to confide in me in person, that God gave me a softer heart to be able to emphatized and a strong shoulder for people to lean on. That is service.
Also, being a single mom who doesn’t get any help looking after my daughter, I really can’t commit to anything at church. I’m not sure if I even want to and I don’t feel a calling to serve formally in a church. My daughter and I had been thinking of volunteering in the kids program but mostly with the little babies. I have no teaching ability whatsoever. I tend to serve in the background. When I have time, I am at the shelter/soup. I feel a calling there because my heart is very tender towards the homeless people and can see myself getting more involved when my daughter is a bit older.
There’s so many ways to be of service to God without it being in a church. There are people to be reached out there that have never heard of him and would never set foot in the church. I have a heart for them. What is service? Showing kindness to people no matter who they are, spending times with an elderly who is alone and lonely, picking up a couple of non perishable goods for your foodbank every time you do your groceries (this is the easiest way to donate to them as it doesn’t feel much a burden when it’s a few bucks a week, as opposed to one big lump sum), being a mentor (something I used to do but can’t anymore), smiling at every children that you see because then need to see that the world is good and friendly, buying coffee or food for the homeless who ask you for money, paying for someone behind you in the drive though, delivering hampers for your foodbanks, …….the list of how you can serve people is endless, and they don’t all have to be in church. Do them all in the name of Jesus. That is service to God.
You touched on Africa, and I don’t want to feel offended, and I know that you don’t mean to offend, but having been asked that question many many times, I feel a little hurt. Friends often ask me why I sponsor children there and why I want to go there someday instead of staying here. It’s a calling. I’m not African and don’t even know any African (Canada’s too cold for them, lol). But again, my heart has been near them since I was young for some reason. It is a land of enormous hardship and I feel that workers are needed there. Resources are needed there. We have so much here in North America in terms of material possessions. When we have a problem we throw money at it as though it’s going to fix the problem. We bail people out of the jumbled mess they created. But they still cry for more help. It makes me sick. We have so much opportunity here but we waste it with our irresponsibility and ignorance. Sorry, this is becoming a rant, but my point is, with all that we have, some of us are called to share it with our struggling neighbors who has no means of helping themselves. Some of us see opportunities there that God has stirred our hearts to seek. I know if I don’t go when I’m able to, I would completely miss out on God’s calling on my life.
My point is just because you don't see people serving in church doesn't mean they are not doing God's calling in their lives.
< Message edited by Prairiehiker -- 11/30/2008 9:50:57 AM >
_____________________________
Wishing for a Steelers/Eagles superbowl.
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RE: Encouragement for singles to SERVE thread - 11/30/2008 10:20:05 AM
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SamsonUSA
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Thank you for the responses and please keep them coming. I would encourage everyone to read Acts again where they speak about how everybody gave what they could to edify the body. And to those that are serving while working to support your family, going to school, raising children, ect, may God bless you for your heart for service.
A wise man shared recently that many Christians look at Church as being on a cruise ship where the Church's primary function is to feed and meet every one of their needs and whims. In many ways they are correct, but if the body of Christ is indeed a living organism made from it's members working in concert with one another than it's " all hands on deck!" needed to accomplish the mission.
Like Charles Stanley says " Christian service is the greatest form of worship "
_____________________________
Knowledge humbles great men, astonishes the common man, and puffs up the little man
Chubby babies rock!
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RE: Encouragement for singles to SERVE thread - 11/30/2008 1:37:23 PM
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WaitingforBoaz
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SamsonUSA
This is something that has been weighing heavy on my heart for some time. I come across many people who love the Lord who have big aspirations to someday serve the Lord in far away mission fields around the world. Yet when I ask them in which ministry they are currently serving in at their local church many are not serving at all. Why is that I ask? I believe before He sends us off to the African jungles or any other faraway place He wants to see us faithful in little things first in preparation for larger responsibilities He may choose to bestow upon us in the future.
So singles where are you currently serving? If you aren't currently serving in your local church what has kept you from serving? How can we ( your CW brethren in the Lord) encourage and help you to find a ministry to serve in where your gifts can best be utilized for His glory?
Most churches will tell you that is about 20% of the people that do 100% of the work. I found this to be true in most churches. My new church is the exception.
It seems like everyone is doing some kind of ministry, it is awesome to see. I think one of the reasons this is the case, is that when you show up, you are family. I think everyone most are striving to be a contributing member, of this big happy family, that my new church is. It really is neat to see the body of Chirist functioning appropriately.
This has not always been my experience in churches however. (I've been in ministry of some sort for the last 25 years) My experience has been more like Shalbe's. You give and give and give, and there is always more to do because so few will step up and do the work. There are plenty of people coming forward and saying we need this ministry or that, but so few willing or "able" to do the work.
I know I have gone 3 very different direction with this, but I have to add;
There are singles, single parents, and others, who are called, for a season, to minister outside of their church, to friends, families, or co-workers. Sometimes that ministry can be so intense, you have nothing left to give elsewhere. A mothers ministry may be to minister to her children only for a season, A husband to a wife or a child to their elderly/sick parents. Me to my terminal husband. At times it may appear that someone is not doing the work of the Lord, when in fact, they are exactly where the Lord would have them at that moment in time.
Right now I co-lead a group for single-parents. I am really enjoying it.
~Blessings
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RE: Encouragement for singles to SERVE thread - 11/30/2008 9:01:29 PM
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Psalms274
Posts: 2246
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From: Georgia
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quote:
But it has taken me years to realize that I will never be able to do enough to make church people happy--because they preach "God first, family second, church third" but they don't really believe it, and they refuse to understand a single parent's position. I might mention that none of my churches since my husband's death have so much as hammered a nail or clipped a bit of grass at my house as a ministry to me, even when asked.
Shallbe,
What you are describing is unfortunately the case for many "churches." I think the root of the cause is due to something Waiting on Boaz mentioned, that very few members serve, leaving the overwhelming burden on a very few, who end up spent and burned out. I am willing to bet those very few have just as many excuses not to serve as those who choose not to serve, yet they somehow find the time.
I have found that when the "church people"  find someone willing to serve, they attempt to place that person in as many positions possible because there is so much to do and so few willing to pitch in. If everyone did just a little, everything would get done without the burn out. But because it is so rare to find those willing to serve, those that do need to learn how to listen to the Holy Spirit when it is time to say no. We can be "guilted" into doing something that God is calling another to do. The Spirit may be working on that person to step up to the plate, but if you say you will do the job when you haven't been called to do so, they have an excuse not to do so.
That being said, there are times when we are called to do more because of the great need ... but while doing so it it wise to "Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field."
I have had one time in my walk when I was not involved in some kind of ministry, and even then I was on the worship team. (I do not consider leading worship a ministry for me I guess  ... it is too much fun to feel like work!) I just felt I needed a time to heal after my brother and Dad's death so I backed out of working with the youth at that time.
I currently work with our LUG group (middle schoolers). I have 11 in my group and I have fell in love with them. It will be very hard to leave when the time comes ... but I know God will bring the right person at that time.
I am also writing a grant pro bono for a Christ based outreach program that ministers to girls caught in the sex trafficking industry. (I could use some prayer cover for that one ... I am finding the enemy would prefer we not get involved with that one.)
I agree with Samson, before God sends us off "to our dream ministry" He wants to see us faithful in little things first in preparation for larger responsibilities. This principle is taught by Jesus in Matthew 25.
_____________________________
I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ.
Linus, my dog, little Kaleigh and Sally!
http://piswa.blogspot.com/
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RE: Encouragement for singles to SERVE thread - 11/30/2008 10:01:34 PM
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rgod
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Samson - thanks for starting this thread. When I went to church today, my pastor was talking about serving - and he spoke about it in a different way than I'd ever really heard. I was immediately convicted of my attitude - even what I've displayed here. I might write about it a bit more - I need to listen to his sermon again before I do that - but yes - we need to serve. We develop and we serve and we give.
You are a blessing. Thanks again for bringing this up.
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RE: Encouragement for singles to SERVE thread - 11/30/2008 10:20:14 PM
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John_O
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quote:
Encouragement for singles to SERVE thread
Can't decide if we are supposed to be playing tennis or cooking quilting supplies.
At church I run the overheads (basically the whole multimedia department but we've not got the rest of it in place yet.) We've finally gotten it down to where the worship leader can sing any song she feels lead to and the overheads will match within a stanza or so. Not perfect yet but we're working on it.
During summer I work in Kids church on Wednesday nights.
And of course I sing from time to time.
My main calling though is to be an unofficial greeter of all the people. Now that the slides are going well I can get out of the booth more and talk to everyone before service. This is where I shine.
My ministry to the Girl prevents anything more and like others here, I've learned how to say "no". (Even though Sister Angie can be incredibly persuasive)
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: Encouragement for singles to SERVE thread - 11/30/2008 11:44:45 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
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From: California
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About a year ago, I had a mental and physical breakdown from how much I was serving in the church..I am still having some issues over it, but will say no more now.
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RE: Encouragement for singles to SERVE thread - 12/1/2008 12:45:58 AM
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rgod
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quote:
ORIGINAL: OneOfHisJewels
About a year ago, I had a mental and physical breakdown from how much I was serving in the church..I am still having some issues over it, but will say no more now.
OneOfHisJewels - I'm sorry to hear about this. But I'm glad to hear that you've been able to pull away and take care of yourself. That is half of the battle ...
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RE: Encouragement for singles to SERVE thread - 12/1/2008 9:06:04 AM
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Tinkerbell_
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I don't do a whole lot in my church. I work in the 3rd grade AWANA classroom with Thing 2, but other than that...I don't do anything else.
However, I do things outside of the church that most people wouldn't notice unless they knew me. Is one better than the other? *shrug* the way I look at it, I am doing what I can to serve God and bring more people into His Kingdom.
My church is HUGE into foreign missions so if someone is doing something that causes them to go overseas then he IS doing something for our church. You know?
I don't think it matters HOW you serve HIM, as long as you do. Some people are called to do things within the church, some people are not. Who am I to frown at someone who isn't working in the church when he does sooo much outside of it?
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RE: Encouragement for singles to SERVE thread - 12/1/2008 11:40:33 AM
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jesuschick247
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Tinkerbell_
I don't think it matters HOW you serve HIM, as long as you do. Some people are called to do things within the church, some people are not. Who am I to frown at someone who isn't working in the church when he does sooo much outside of it?
I agree with this point, Tink!
I help with the younger teens at my church, I sometimes feel inadequate or maybe not qualified to do it, but I get such a blessing from it! And last night, I finally got a glimpse into the heart of one of the young girls I have been working with and praying for this past year, it was so amazing!
I just love being able to help someone else, it takes my mind and my eyes off of ME! I pray that God will let me meet the perfect guy while serving Him, I just think that would be amazing! For the time being, I do all I can in my church and pray one day I will be able to do more!
_____________________________
"The memories erased...Baby, that's the BEAUTY of GRACE!"
"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, rather than a second-rate version of someone else." - Judy Garland
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RE: Encouragement for singles to SERVE thread - 12/2/2008 12:10:06 AM
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SamsonUSA
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Tinkerbell_
I don't do a whole lot in my church. I work in the 3rd grade AWANA classroom with Thing 2, but other than that...I don't do anything else.
However, I do things outside of the church that most people wouldn't notice unless they knew me. Is one better than the other? *shrug* the way I look at it, I am doing what I can to serve God and bring more people into His Kingdom.
My church is HUGE into foreign missions so if someone is doing something that causes them to go overseas then he IS doing something for our church. You know?
I don't think it matters HOW you serve HIM, as long as you do. Some people are called to do things within the church, some people are not. Who am I to frown at someone who isn't working in the church when he does sooo much outside of it?
Thats great tink! My point wasn't that we needed to live at the Church and serve continuously. It was just to encourage people to serve somewhere in the church body. After the baby Christian stage is over sitting in the nest with our mouths opened waiting for the daddy bird to continually bring us worms without contributing to the edification and service to the church we attend will stunt our growth as believers. I think what your doing with the 3rd graders in Awana is fantastic.
_____________________________
Knowledge humbles great men, astonishes the common man, and puffs up the little man
Chubby babies rock!
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RE: Encouragement for singles to SERVE thread - 12/2/2008 8:35:56 AM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 3273
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quote:
After the baby Christian stage is over sitting in the nest with our mouths opened waiting for the daddy bird to continually bring us worms without contributing to the edification and service to the church we attend will stunt our growth as believers.
My dear friend, I'm going to disagree with you on this. Serving in church, doing church activities, or even staying in church 24/7 does not guarantee that one will grow in the faith. It seems reasonable to assume that because someone is in church and serving regularly that they are maturing in the faith. But the truth is faith is a very personal matter, and serving visibly is not clear sign of growth. It could just mean anything, but we can't always conclude that their faith is growing. For some, serving actually slows their growth because their faith is more activity and socially based, as opposed to having a very close personal walk with Christ alone.
I know I grow in my faith when I spend a lot of time with God, and I'm more distracted when I spend a lot of time with believers. There has to be a balance for one to grow.
But I know what you're getting at though, so I'm not completely disagreeing with you.
NOTE: Post made wayyy to early in the morning. If it doesn't make sense, it just means I haven't had enough caffeine in my system.
_____________________________
Wishing for a Steelers/Eagles superbowl.
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RE: Encouragement for singles to SERVE thread - 12/2/2008 9:30:18 AM
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SamsonUSA
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I ( and I would bet every Pastor I've ever met ) would respectfully disagree with just about everything you just said. Below would be one......
Today's Scripture
"Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone—especially to those in the family of faith." Galatians 6:10
There's an order of priority within the church. First is the immediate circle of the family of faith. We're to take care of each other. The world should be able to look in the window and say, "Whoa! Look at how they love each other!" They'll know that we're following Jesus Christ because of the love that we have for one another. So, we take care of one another. When one has a need, we see that need.
I think of how we don't want to lose sight of serving at our church. It's so nice to come to a place that's 'spiffed up' and clean. We sort of take it for granted. But, there are so many areas where we can serve. We walk across the parking lot and see the wrapper that has blown in from somewhere else. We see the can that someone has tossed out in the parking lot. We see the candy wrapper from one of the children's ministries in a hallway or on a sidewalk. What would Jesus do if He saw that? Would He say, "Get an usher? Get someone on the custodial staff?" He'd pick it up because He's a servant.
Maybe you can't pick it up because you have a back problem or something. What could you do? Well, you could be doing good by making yourself friendly when you see new people. But, I don't know everybody. Guess how other people feel! They don't know anybody. So, welcome them and say, "Hey! How are you! It's good to see you here today!" "Brother, it's good to see you! It's great to see you, Sister!"
At Calvary, the rule of distribution of food for those who are in need is that we first of all take care of the household of faith. Then, if those needs have been taken care of, we do good to everyone else, but especially to those in the family of faith. That's the priority. We want to be known for our good deeds. We want to be known for serving and ministering to the world. But, we especially want to be known for loving one another.
Pastor Mark
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Knowledge humbles great men, astonishes the common man, and puffs up the little man
Chubby babies rock!
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RE: Encouragement for singles to SERVE thread - 12/2/2008 10:47:18 AM
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raivyne
Posts: 1010
Joined: 8/28/2008
Status: offline
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I drive the church van. Mostly on Tuesdays and every other Wednesday night for the youth services. I haven't been called to do so on a Sunday (yet).
Every other Wednesday I also help out in the basement serving food to all the kiddies that come through before service starts. I also do whatever is needed on Tuesday nights for the youth service.
I also participate in the nursing home ministry. The first Sunday of each month we go spend an hour singing and worshiping in the local nursing home with the residents. Its so unbelievably fun! I'm so thankful they allow me to tag along.
I am also helping out with our Christmas play this year (I get to be an angel and I'm so excited!)
I may be asked to teach a class in the future as well and I'm looking forward to that.
Our church also does angel food and I'm thinking about volunteering to help out with that this month.
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P.U.S.H. – Pray Until Something Happens
What if God is asking us for a sign?
Knowledge is proud; wisdom is humble.
Patiently waiting for my KSA
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RE: Encouragement for singles to SERVE thread - 12/2/2008 12:30:16 PM
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Tinkerbell_
Posts: 8649
Joined: 1/25/2008
From: NeverNeverLand
Status: offline
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It's a ministry that sells groceries at a VERY affordable price. You can get about 2 weeks worth of food for like $50 bucks. Beef, steak, chicken quarters, patties, links, plus trimmings to go with it. It's pretty neat.
Then you can also opt to buy extra meat at a fraction of the grocery store prices.
I used to do that, but quit when I quit cooking. I think I'll start it back up though for the Bible study...hmmm...something to discuss with Kyoudai...
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RE: Encouragement for singles to SERVE thread - 12/2/2008 12:49:22 PM
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SamsonUSA
Posts: 1055
Joined: 10/5/2008
Status: offline
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