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RE: What are you going to do if you never get married? - 11/22/2008 12:42:45 AM
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SamsonUSA
Posts: 1055
Joined: 10/5/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Psalms274
Last month, My dear Father surprised me with the unexpected. He introduced me to my future husband! I have never been so surprised in all of my life. This man shares my dream to raise these precious children who desperately need the love of God. He loves the Lord and lives to serve Him. He adores children, is a man of prayer, seeking the Father face in all things. He not only exemplifies Jesus in the lives of the children he serves, but has become a picture of Jesus to me .. praying about what God's plan for us would be and boldly pursuing me when He knew what the Father's answer to that question was ... then allowing me the time to go before the Father to see what He had to say to me on the matter as we got to know one another. Not only is he everything I have prayed for, but the Father made sure that He spoke to this dear man's heart about me first ... and then just as Jesus had pursued me with clear intentions before I called Him my Savior, this precious man my Savior had in mind for me did the same, being clear yet gentle enough not to scare me away. He went before the Father for the words and was able to speak things only the Father could have known.
I have always felt it was not my place to look for a potential husband. (In fact the word "potential" actually turns my stomach ... I find it to be so impersonal.) I did not "get myself out there" as many here believe we should do because I knew God was able to do whatever He had planned for my life without my intervention. I do not call, email or pm guys to get their attention ... in fact I wear an anniversary band on my left ring finger to prevent the guys I encounter from pursuing me based on what they see (meaning based on my looks .... I have always hoped for God's choice to fall for my heart first). There have been times when I questioned my own convictions as I have read through some of the opinions I have read on these threads ... but never enough to act on those doubts.
The bottom line is I know had God shown me I was to serve Him as a single woman because He would reach more people, He was more than able to fill me with His joy all along the way. I now know it is not His plan, and I am filled with both awe and joy because of that ...
Psalms it is so awesome to see what God is doing in your life. I'm sure your future husband feels as blessed as you do. May God bless and keep you both!
_____________________________
Knowledge humbles great men, astonishes the common man, and puffs up the little man
Chubby babies rock!
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RE: What are you going to do if you never get married? - 11/22/2008 9:25:42 AM
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agapemami
Posts: 151
Joined: 1/24/2006
From: somewhere over the rainbow
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Do what Im doing now...just joined the Navy Reserves (active duty)....and probably start to behave like Psalms274 has...stop trying to get a mans attention by emailing and PMing and not give up, but give in...to Gods plans. Its not too late.
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RE: What are you going to do if you never get married? - 11/22/2008 10:21:57 AM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 3273
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I posted a thread in the summer asking “what if God were to confirm to you that you would be single for the rest of your life”…or something like that. I’m sure my answer would be similar to this question.
I don’t have the gift of singleness as some may call it. I don’t like being alone though I’ve spent most of my life alone. Though I’m relatively upbeat and positive about life, I know that I would be far happier if I had someone to share my life’s journey with. Would I give up looking or hoping or praying for a life partner. I doubt it, and God knows it. Sure, I will lead a fruitful life. I’d do what I dream of doing but if I were to be allowed to be candidly honest, it would be a very sad and lonely life. Am I starting with a wrong presupposition? No. I’ve experienced being alone so this much I know to be true about me. I’m sure God can fill my life with friends, and hobbies, and other adventures, and ministries. But those things are never designed to replace a life/marriage partner. Those things are not meant to replace the intimacy that one shares with a mate. If you start believing that, then, marriage isn’t probably for you.
What would I do if I’m single in the future? I’ll still go to Africa and serve with World Vision. I’d still go climb the Kilimanjaro but I’ll do it with total strangers. I’ll still hike the Himalayas, and go to the Great Wall, and etc, etc. I’m sure I’d enjoy it. But I’ll always be wishing that there is someone there whom I’m so intimately acquainted with who would bring more color to the experience. I’d still volunteers at causes that God has laid in my heart. I’d still be a mother to my child no matter how old she is, and hopefully, a grandmother to her kids. But at the end of each day, and every day, I would be wishing and hoping there’s someone to share my day with.
I know that Lord will be there to listen. But He would also know that I’d be wishing for another human to give me hugs at the end of the day.
So, what would I do if I were to live life as a single person. I’d be doing what I’m doing right now and will be trying to fulfill some dreams I’ve had all my life. But I’d be praying everyday, whether I’m 50, 60 or 70, or 80, that God would allow someone to cross my path and I would recognize him as someone worthy of sharing my life’s adventures with. 
_____________________________
Wishing for a Steelers/Eagles superbowl.
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RE: What are you going to do if you never get married? - 11/22/2008 2:56:11 PM
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gaylel1
Posts: 1148
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Southern California, the land of Fruit and nuts...
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The bible tells us that we should not be worrying about our lives, right?
But to answer your question, I would be doing the same thing, serving God, working and doing other things other than staying at home.
_____________________________
Hear "The Truth" with the "other" Jeff Johnson(http://www.calvarydowney.org)
Visit me at http//:www.gayleplace.blogspot.com or http://www.myspace.com/gaylel121
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RE: What are you going to do if you never get married? - 11/22/2008 3:22:38 PM
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song
Posts: 307
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Southern Florida
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Well you won't know if you're never getting married unless you die single. lol.
If I get to be in my mid-thirties and I'm still not married then I will adopt at least one child or at least be a foster parent. :)
Right now I live my life without thinking my relationship circumstances will change. I live where I want, work where I want, go where I want, buy what I want, save what I want...
_____________________________
you are beautiful my sweet sweet song...
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RE: What are you going to do if you never get married? - 11/22/2008 5:47:34 PM
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agapemami
Posts: 151
Joined: 1/24/2006
From: somewhere over the rainbow
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Exactly! You wont know. and tomorrow is not promised. We know nothing about tomorrow or even the next minute. Yeah, thats a dream of mine to be a foster parent. Id like to be a foster parent when Im married too. Some dreams just dont die just cause you find the one.
PrairieHiker, I couldnt agree more. Activity is not a spouse replacement.
LETS ALL PRAY FOR EACH OTHER. This year 3 singles on my prayer list got married. I looked back at my journal and was cracking up at how spontaneous God is. 2 of the cases I thought would take many more years. One of them is my YOUNGER sister. She says that her quality of life IS a lot better and that she hasnt had those episodes of sadness anymore. For someone that is destined to be married, there is something lacking until. and shes got Jesus:) so it wasnt that.
Yesterday I got real with God...I asked him, "DO YOU KNOW HOW OLD I AM?", and seriously its like I felt God laugh...I MADE YOU I KNOW HOW OLD YOU ARE. YOU'RE 35...and he laughed some more. I didnt get any more out of God, he can surprise me, but I get a feeling that Im gonna get my husband wish later than sooner...and probably in my last 9 months of chidbearing years. I hope He proves me wrong...AGAIN!
quote:
ORIGINAL: song
Well you won't know if you're never getting married unless you die single. lol.
If I get to be in my mid-thirties and I'm still not married then I will adopt at least one child or at least be a foster parent. :)
Right now I live my life without thinking my relationship circumstances will change. I live where I want, work where I want, go where I want, buy what I want, save what I want...
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RE: What are you going to do if you never get married? - 11/23/2008 2:38:56 AM
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gaylel1
Posts: 1148
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Southern California, the land of Fruit and nuts...
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Let me ask everyone, what is wrong with people who is single getting involved in a ministry and serving others? It is part of intmacy too, getting involved in a community of believers, forging freindships and perhaps a relationship if God wills it.
_____________________________
Hear "The Truth" with the "other" Jeff Johnson(http://www.calvarydowney.org)
Visit me at http//:www.gayleplace.blogspot.com or http://www.myspace.com/gaylel121
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RE: What are you going to do if you never get married? - 11/23/2008 12:24:07 PM
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song
Posts: 307
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Southern Florida
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: gaylel1
Let me ask everyone, what is wrong with people who is single getting involved in a ministry and serving others? It is part of intmacy too, getting involved in a community of believers, forging freindships and perhaps a relationship if God wills it.
I don't believe anyone said there was anything wrong with singles being involved in ministry Gayle. :)
_____________________________
you are beautiful my sweet sweet song...
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RE: What are you going to do if you never get married? - 11/23/2008 6:52:31 PM
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rgod
Posts: 1775
Joined: 4/25/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: gaylel1
Let me ask everyone, what is wrong with people who is single getting involved in a ministry and serving others? It is part of intmacy too, getting involved in a community of believers, forging freindships and perhaps a relationship if God wills it.
Hi Gayle1,
I don't think there is anything wrong with it. I think that what you've spoken of is one route to meeting a mate. But I also think that God uses other means to do so. Think about Isaac, and how he met Rebecca - he sent his servant. Or about Jacob, with Leah and Rachel (ok - maybe not such a great example here). I think it is hard for us to come to consensus about this as Christians because our culture is just so different from theirs, you know? If we had arranged marriages, then it wouldn't really be a problem.
I've heard you speak about this pretty passionately over the past few months. I wonder Gayle, if the Lord has maybe impressed upon your heart that this is the right path for you to take? Perhaps this is the way that your new husband will come to you. I felt that for me, that I needed to start to be more open and to be more proactive - not to the point of running after a guy, but to be more available.
I pray that the Lord will bring both of us godly mates, in his time! Actually, I pray that for everyone here!
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RE: What are you going to do if you never get married? - 11/24/2008 11:52:14 AM
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HoosierMusicLover
Posts: 129
Joined: 10/3/2008
From: Where I hang my bootstraps :)
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: gaylel1
Let me ask everyone, what is wrong with people who is single getting involved in a ministry and serving others? It is part of intmacy too, getting involved in a community of believers, forging freindships and perhaps a relationship if God wills it.
Gayle,
Great question. I've been involved in singles ministry, single men's ministry, mens ministry and servant ministry. I think depending on exactly where you serve being single or married has nothing to do with it. In serving others and serving with them, it does create a different type of intimacy, but a healthy kind that is between brothers, between sisters, and between brothers and sisters. We're all called to serve, but I know for me in where I"m at today finding where to serve can be a challenge. I hope to serve with my wife someday, but since I still haven't met her I just keep plugging along.
Some of my fondest memories are of serving when we had a large singles group, and I was not only in singles but other areas. If you have the right outlook and serve with a loving, compassionate and humble heart then it creates a family atmosphere where we are all comfortable and trusting with each other. Then, if God opens up a relationship with that type of foundation, WOO HOO! Good luck and blessings with it sis!
_____________________________
Lord, come quickly.
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RE: What are you going to do if you never get married? - 11/24/2008 12:13:10 PM
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gaylel1
Posts: 1148
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Southern California, the land of Fruit and nuts...
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: HoosierMusicLover
quote:
ORIGINAL: gaylel1
Let me ask everyone, what is wrong with people who is single getting involved in a ministry and serving others? It is part of intmacy too, getting involved in a community of believers, forging freindships and perhaps a relationship if God wills it.
Gayle,
Great question. I've been involved in singles ministry, single men's ministry, mens ministry and servant ministry. I think depending on exactly where you serve being single or married has nothing to do with it. In serving others and serving with them, it does create a different type of intimacy, but a healthy kind that is between brothers, between sisters, and between brothers and sisters. We're all called to serve, but I know for me in where I"m at today finding where to serve can be a challenge. I hope to serve with my wife someday, but since I still haven't met her I just keep plugging along.
Some of my fondest memories are of serving when we had a large singles group, and I was not only in singles but other areas. If you have the right outlook and serve with a loving, compassionate and humble heart then it creates a family atmosphere where we are all comfortable and trusting with each other. Then, if God opens up a relationship with that type of foundation, WOO HOO! Good luck and blessings with it sis!
I'm glad someone here has a positive insight on here about serving the lord while you are single. Husbands and wives do serve the lord alongside each other, that is why they are called called "Ministry Partners". They can serve in the home, which is most important, because family is the #1 ministry, but they can also serve others in bringing the gospel, not just preaching, but to ministring to people's needs in the body.
Let me explain to everyone here--I do serve in the church and other para-church ministries which our body is involved, but that does not mean I live a sheltered life, which people may think that through my posts that I feel that the four walls of the church is my life, which is not at all.
I do go out into the world, I go places like movies, sporting events and other places. I go to the gym and try to keep healthy. I spend time with family and freinds. I meet people along the way and try to be freindly.
I know it is hard online to percive when I say "the church" or "the church body" or quote scripture, people think she lives a sheltered life. Please everyone, do not think of me that way or judge me because I am different.
_____________________________
Hear "The Truth" with the "other" Jeff Johnson(http://www.calvarydowney.org)
Visit me at http//:www.gayleplace.blogspot.com or http://www.myspace.com/gaylel121
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RE: What are you going to do if you never get married? - 11/24/2008 4:02:15 PM
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John_O
Posts: 8028
Joined: 9/5/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: gaylel1
Let me ask everyone, what is wrong with people who is single getting involved in a ministry and serving others?
Nothing at all. We are supposed to serve others. That's why God leaves us here.
quote:
It is part of intmacy too, getting involved in a community of believers, forging freindships and perhaps a relationship if God wills it.
Serving in a ministry has never been intimate to me. You do what needs to be done. It does not replace, or even come close to, having a mate. There is seldom time to build a relationship and in my church (and area) for that matter, there is no one suitable for me to build a relationship with (at least so far).
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: What are you going to do if you never get married? - 11/24/2008 7:29:40 PM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 3273
Status: offline
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quote:
So move somewhere where there are mountains ;)
That's coming in the distant future...but as it stand, there's a little girl in the background that needs to have some stability in her life. The mountains will always be there . Besides, we always go where there's mountains for a few weekds during the year.
_____________________________
Wishing for a Steelers/Eagles superbowl.
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RE: What are you going to do if you never get married? - 11/25/2008 11:11:29 AM
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Geeky1
Posts: 161
Joined: 12/5/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
quote:
So move somewhere where there are mountains ;)
That's coming in the distant future...but as it stand, there's a little girl in the background that needs to have some stability in her life. The mountains will always be there . Besides, we always go where there's mountains for a few weekds during the year.
Hee, I was just yanking your chain. ;)
I understand the stability thing. It is what has made me work so hard to maintain our home through the divorce. It's a financial strain, but I didn't want the kids to lose their house too.
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RE: What are you going to do if you never get married? - 11/25/2008 9:30:38 PM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
Posts: 23494
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Here . . . but subject to change; stay tuned
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quote:
What are you going to do if you never get married? The very next breath that I hope to take is not guaranteed (nor is anyone else's).
I try very hard to live my life in the moment that I'm actually living it, and not be too concerned with what may or may not happen in the future.
I can have goals and make plans, but even those are subject to change at any time.
Married or single, what I want most is to be seeking Our Lord's Wisdom and Guidance and hopefully be doing His Will for me at that particular moment.
Seriously.
This is not a "pat" answer; it's my very sincere answer to the OP's question.
_____________________________
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RE: What are you going to do if you never get married? - 11/26/2008 3:52:07 PM
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RosieCotton
Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: The East and West Coast!
Status: offline
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If i never get married.......well, i will be a mother, to little kiddies, a friend, an aunty......a teacher......
i will live my life surrounded by joy and happiness.......not thinking of regrets, or what not.....for the only mistake is the one you dont learn something from....or something like that.
_____________________________
The object of a new year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul.
--G.K. Chesterton--
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RE: What are you going to do if you never get married? - 12/8/2008 5:44:50 PM
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Psalms274
Posts: 2246
Joined: 8/13/2005
From: Georgia
Status: offline
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quote:
I can honestly say that I came to the conclusion that it was possible that God could use me better as a single woman than as a married woman this summer ... even though I had carried a lifelong dream of adapting and raising children from abusive homes with my husband (who would have to share that same dream). For that reason, I surrendered this part of my life completely to the Father, knowing He could fulfill those longings I had in the depths of my heart as I served Him. He was capable of being the lover of my soul and bring both the people I needed to fulfill the fellowship part and the people He desired me to ministered to. There is a scripture that I use to hate in Isaiah 54.
It states, ""Sing, O barren woman,
you who never bore a child;
burst into song, shout for joy,
you who were never in labor;
because more are the children of the desolate woman
than of her who has a husband,"
says the LORD.
I surrendered this summer and rather than rejecting this word, I embraced it, looking for ways to expand my tent and be that surrogate wherever the Lord would lead me. I looked at how He used Corrie ten Boom and Amy Carmichael to impact His kingdom and submitted to His plan whatever it may be. I truly let go of every expectation and was able to leave my desires at the foot of His cross, knowing whatever He had planned, it was good, and He was capable of filling me beyond my wildest dreams ...
The bottom line is I know had God shown me I was to serve Him as a single woman because He would reach more people, He was more than able to fill me with His joy all along the way. I now know it is not His plan, and I am filled with both awe and joy because of that ...
This was written just 17 days ago, when I was sure that I knew the man God had planned for me to spend the rest of my life with. I thought it was safe to share, since we were making plans to do just that. I suspect I should have "pondered these things" in my heart as Mary did when the angel spoke to her a little while longer. I do not know for sure what God is doing in my life right now, or in this relationship, but I do know that My God reigns over all things. The man I speak of is still wonderful. My God still has a good and perfect plan for me. I will do as I was doing before, serving Him wherever He sees fit. Nothing that God makes, and nothing that He allows is ever wasted, provided we trust His heart in the matter, always going back to Who He is ... looking at His character and saying "my God still loves me perfectly, He still has perfect wisdom and absolute sovereignty and will come through on my behalf, provided I let Him."
The bottom line is still: if God can use me a single woman best because He would reach more people, He is more than able to fill me with His joy all along the way ... and I will trust Him to do so ... A song I use to sing over and over because of the trials I walked through which has served as a reminder to Whose I am is The Warrior is a Child/Do I trust You Lord by Twila Paris, which describe my walk with Him. He will always be there for each one of us whether married or single, walking with another or simply hand in hand with the Father.
I hope with everything in me God will use this post to propel you closer to the Father.
_____________________________
I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ.
Linus, my dog, little Kaleigh and Sally!
http://piswa.blogspot.com/
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RE: What are you going to do if you never get married? - 12/8/2008 11:55:39 PM
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Limulus
Posts: 209
Joined: 7/13/2008
From: Omaha, Nebraska
Status: offline
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quote:
What are you going to do if you never get married?
ack! parish the thought!
/me runs away from thread
_____________________________
That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. Romans 10:9
http://myspace.com/jadonchristensen
Prayer Requests: Alcoholism, Depression, Daughter, Singleness
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. We even have the same hair! I've always wanted to be a mountain search and rescue volunteer. But we don't have mountains here, so I had to squash those dreams, lol.
