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What are you going to do if you never get married? - 11/20/2008 6:01:23 PM
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RubySparkles
Posts: 245
Joined: 4/18/2005
From: United Kingdom
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I need ideas. I've already been to university, travelled, volunteered.
Thanks.
_____________________________
Lord, all our success is because of what you have done, so give us peace.
Is 26:12
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RE: What are you going to do if you never get married? - 11/20/2008 6:13:57 PM
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BlessedAngel1983
Posts: 11781
Joined: 6/8/2007
From: South Carolina
Status: online
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If I never get married...hmmm...i'll buy a bunch of cats!...LOL...I'm just kidding.
If I never get married I guess i'll pursue a traveling music ministry more so than I would if I were married. Travel, write, spend time with my nieces and nephews, photography. I know these are all things I can do when i'm married, but if not I can focus more on them.
_____________________________
Reflecting with Terri
If you're worried and you can't sleep
Just count your blessings instead of sheep
And you'll fall asleep counting your blessings
AKA AngelInWaiting1983
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RE: What are you going to do if you never get married? - 11/20/2008 7:31:22 PM
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mutinywxgirl
Posts: 12079
Joined: 4/29/2005
From: west coast of FL
Status: offline
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Nothing different than what I am doing now - working for the Lord in all that I do.
I know that's a trite answer, but it's true - I doubt much would change other than I'd do a heck of a lot more traveling - I want to see the world, and if I can do that through missionary disaster work - all the better!
_____________________________
When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.
Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
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RE: What are you going to do if you never get married? - 11/20/2008 8:52:57 PM
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ShallbeRebuilt
Posts: 2205
Joined: 11/8/2007
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: RubySparkles
I need ideas. I've already been to university, travelled, volunteered.
Thanks.
hmmmm...well, here are some ideas;
become a missionary to a people group that needs a single person like you. There are lots of them. Check with the mission board of your favorite denomination.
make a commitment to become an "aunt" to some kids in your town who don't have a parent of your gender. This isn't like "Big Brother"/"Big Sister", but a lifetime or several year commitment.
Take over the world. You've got the time. All you need is the resources...
shallbe
_____________________________
SHALLBE’S BATTY BELFRY
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RE: What are you going to do if you never get married? - 11/20/2008 10:50:02 PM
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John_O
Posts: 8028
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: offline
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quote:
What are you going to do if you never get married?
Same things I do now. Handle each day one day at a time while waiting on God to bring my new wife to me. The thought of not getting remarried is inconceivable (and unbelievable. I just had to rhyme)
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: What are you going to do if you never get married? - 11/20/2008 10:56:10 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
Posts: 2958
Joined: 8/9/2007
From: California
Status: offline
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Jump off a cliff....
I'M KIDDING.....
in my case it is hard to say due to my health limitations...if I were in good health, and weren't worried about lack of a good church to go to on Sundays, I'd like to go work on a cruise ship, but healthwise, that just isn't feasible now.
I think I do definitely want to own my own home at some point.
Other than that...not too sure...I don't really have to list all the ministry stuff, because I already do a lot of that.
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RE: What are you going to do if you never get married? - 11/20/2008 11:38:24 PM
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Anamchara
Posts: 110
Joined: 9/16/2005
Status: offline
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Keep enjoying life as I am now. I dont put my life on hold waiting to get married. Do I hope/pray/dream of such..yes, but I dont make my decisions in life based on it.
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RE: What are you going to do if you never get married? - 11/21/2008 12:10:12 AM
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rgod
Posts: 1775
Joined: 4/25/2005
Status: offline
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Probably the same thing I'm doing now, except I'd have a bit more time since I wouldn't be worried about relationships. I'd probably start looking into adoption now instead of later - to get prepared - and would probably step up my ministry preparations.
Don't know if that helps you any ...
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RE: What are you going to do if you never get married? - 11/21/2008 12:44:08 AM
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SamsonUSA
Posts: 1055
Joined: 10/5/2008
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I believe that is a question you need to ask the Father. If He has plans for you never to marry it is usually that the underlying reason has to do with the mission he has set before you. Paul had the gift of celibacy so that he could focus 100% of his time and attention to serve God. Most marriages though allow for twice the serving capabilities as you serve the Lord as one.
_____________________________
Knowledge humbles great men, astonishes the common man, and puffs up the little man
Chubby babies rock!
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RE: What are you going to do if you never get married? - 11/21/2008 7:22:13 AM
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barbi
Posts: 2241
Joined: 5/22/2005
From: New York
Status: offline
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The same thing I'm doing now
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RE: What are you going to do if you never get married? - 11/21/2008 7:35:46 AM
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RubySparkles
Posts: 245
Joined: 4/18/2005
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: barbi
The same thing I'm doing now
What's that Barbi? You're a balloon artist right?
_____________________________
Lord, all our success is because of what you have done, so give us peace.
Is 26:12
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RE: What are you going to do if you never get married? - 11/21/2008 7:41:02 AM
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HoosierMusicLover
Posts: 129
Joined: 10/3/2008
From: Where I hang my bootstraps :)
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: AngelInWaiting1983
If I never get married...hmmm...i'll buy a bunch of cats!...LOL...I'm just kidding.
If I never get married I guess i'll pursue a traveling music ministry more so than I would if I were married. Travel, write, spend time with my nieces and nephews, photography. I know these are all things I can do when i'm married, but if not I can focus more on them.
I'd start a business selling cats *ducks and apologizes to Angel*
Seriously, that actually hits home in Hoosierland. I'd definately keep close ties with the niece and nephew, and would put more and more in my writing. I'd pretty much go on as I did the last 8-12 months since the prospect of me and re-marriage doesn't seem to be strong. Besides, it took me this long to realise how blessed I am.
_____________________________
Lord, come quickly.
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RE: What are you going to do if you never get married? - 11/21/2008 11:32:01 AM
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Geeky1
Posts: 161
Joined: 12/5/2007
Status: offline
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Stay single... ;)
Seriously though I have a lot of things I want to do. One of the main things is to be trained and become a search and rescue volunteer. That one will have to wait until my kids are older, though. I am working toward that goal by trailrunning/doing things that will get me into the kind of shape I will need to be in...
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RE: What are you going to do if you never get married? - 11/21/2008 12:09:50 PM
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blueeyedgirl2
Posts: 665
Joined: 8/31/2008
Status: offline
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. . . cry. Just kidding, although I will be disappointed, but I will just continue to trust that God has a plan for my life.
I'd probably keep doing a lot of traveling (hopefully I can at least find a travel buddy), volunteering, and spending a lot of time with my friends, their kids, and eventually some nieces and nephews.
In the back of my mind I've always thought that I would like to adopt a child if I never marry. I know being a single parent is no picnic, but I think I'd have a lot of support from my church, friends, and family so it would be do-able. My main concern is making sure I'm not just adopting to satisfy my own desire to be a mother, but instead actually feel that it's something God is leading me to do.
_____________________________
**Becky
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RE: What are you going to do if you never get married? - 11/21/2008 12:42:44 PM
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broyce1981
Posts: 2065
Joined: 8/8/2006
Status: online
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Is it bad that I can't think of a positive response to this question? I just keep coming back to "I would live a very unhappy life."
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RE: What are you going to do if you never get married? - 11/21/2008 12:46:58 PM
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WaitingforBoaz
Posts: 4238
Joined: 2/11/2008
Status: offline
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I seriously cannot even imagine it.
_____________________________
Loading...........please wait.
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RE: What are you going to do if you never get married? - 11/21/2008 1:02:44 PM
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Grace-N-Mercy
Posts: 6041
Joined: 5/2/2005
Status: offline
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First of all, I would learn how to take my mind off of searching for a mate, dating, and every singleness topic. In my opinion, it's the longing for a partner that is the most difficult thing to deal with. We walk through the mall and see all these happy couples, and the desires for a mate come rushing right back to us. So if I knew I'd never get married, I'd try to learn to shut that off so I could live an even more contented life.
Next, I'd find me a nice townhouse near church so I could minister more or my dream-home out in the woods and decorate as frilly as I like, knowing that I won't be entertaining any guy-friends who are going to evaluate my decorating style and judging whether they can live with it.  I might hang on to some guy-movies and stuff because there will still be guys in my life and I enjoy entertaining.
Then I'd just continue living life as I've always been living it, working on my career (which is also my ministry), helping others, etc. I would plan to travel more and becoming a photographer/writer, maybe finding a group of singles who want to do the same thing. I have some dreams I've been putting off because of lack of funds, so I'll make sure I'm making enough money to do those... going skydiving, hot air balloon riding, and more.
_____________________________
<-- When did Hollywood go from classy to 'cheap & easy'?
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RE: What are you going to do if you never get married? - 11/21/2008 1:41:55 PM
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Psalms274
Posts: 2246
Joined: 8/13/2005
From: Georgia
Status: offline
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I can honestly say that I came to the conclusion that it was possible that God could use me better as a single woman than as a married woman this summer ... even though I had carried a lifelong dream of adapting and raising children from abusive homes with my husband (who would have to share that same dream). For that reason, I surrendered this part of my life completely to the Father, knowing He could fulfill those longings I had in the depths of my heart as I served Him. He was capable of being the lover of my soul and bring both the people I needed to fulfill the fellowship part and the people He desired me to ministered to. There is a scripture that I use to hate in Isaiah 54.
It states, ""Sing, O barren woman,
you who never bore a child;
burst into song, shout for joy,
you who were never in labor;
because more are the children of the desolate woman
than of her who has a husband,"
says the LORD.
2 "Enlarge the place of your tent,
stretch your tent curtains wide,
do not hold back;
lengthen your cords,
strengthen your stakes.
3 For you will spread out to the right and to the left;
your descendants will dispossess nations
and settle in their desolate cities.
4 "Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame.
Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.
You will forget the shame of your youth
and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.
5 For your Maker is your husband—
the LORD Almighty is his name—
the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;
he is called the God of all the earth.
6 The LORD will call you back
as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit—
a wife who married young,
only to be rejected," says your God."
I surrendered this summer and rather than rejecting this word, I embraced it, looking for ways to expand my tent and be that surrogate wherever the Lord would lead me. I looked at how He used Corrie ten Boom and Amy Carmichael to impact His kingdom and submitted to His plan whatever it may be. I truly let go of every expectation and was able to leave my desires at the foot of His cross, knowing whatever He had planned, it was good, and He was capable of filling me beyond my wildest dreams.
Last month, My dear Father surprised me with the unexpected. He introduced me to my future husband! I have never been so surprised in all of my life. This man shares my dream to raise these precious children who desperately need the love of God. He loves the Lord and lives to serve Him. He adores children, is a man of prayer, seeking the Father face in all things. He not only exemplifies Jesus in the lives of the children he serves, but has become a picture of Jesus to me .. praying about what God's plan for us would be and boldly pursuing me when He knew what the Father's answer to that question was ... then allowing me the time to go before the Father to see what He had to say to me on the matter as we got to know one another. Not only is he everything I have prayed for, but the Father made sure that He spoke to this dear man's heart about me first ... and then just as Jesus had pursued me with clear intentions before I called Him my Savior, this precious man my Savior had in mind for me did the same, being clear yet gentle enough not to scare me away. He went before the Father for the words and was able to speak things only the Father could have known.
I have always felt it was not my place to look for a potential husband. (In fact the word "potential" actually turns my stomach ... I find it to be so impersonal.) I did not "get myself out there" as many here believe we should do because I knew God was able to do whatever He had planned for my life without my intervention. I do not call, email or pm guys to get their attention ... in fact I wear an anniversary band on my left ring finger to prevent the guys I encounter from pursuing me based on what they see (meaning based on my looks .... I have always hoped for God's choice to fall for my heart first). There have been times when I questioned my own convictions as I have read through some of the opinions I have read on these threads ... but never enough to act on those doubts.
The bottom line is I know had God shown me I was to serve Him as a single woman because He would reach more people, He was more than able to fill me with His joy all along the way. I now know it is not His plan, and I am filled with both awe and joy because of that ...
_____________________________
I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ.
Linus, my dog, little Kaleigh and Sally!
http://piswa.blogspot.com/
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RE: What are you going to do if you never get married? - 11/21/2008 4:05:02 PM
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RubySparkles
Posts: 245
Joined: 4/18/2005
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Grace-N-Mercy
First of all, I would learn how to take my mind off of searching for a mate, dating, and every singleness topic. In my opinion, it's the longing for a partner that is the most difficult thing to deal with. We walk through the mall and see all these happy couples, and the desires for a mate come rushing right back to us. So if I knew I'd never get married, I'd try to learn to shut that off so I could live an even more contented life.
I'm with you on this one. I think this is the hardest thing to deal with. Some people would say that as long as the longing remains it's a sign that God has destined you to be married, so it's just a matter of time. I'm not sure this is true.
quote:
ORIGINAL: broyce1981
Is it bad that I can't think of a positive response to this question? I just keep coming back to "I would live a very unhappy life."
No it's not bad, it's human. As much as I might find some of the suggestions here interesting and useful, I'm not sure I'd ever be fully satisfied either.
< Message edited by RubySparkles -- 11/21/2008 4:23:10 PM >
_____________________________
Lord, all our success is because of what you have done, so give us peace.
Is 26:12
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RE: What are you going to do if you never get married? - 11/21/2008 4:09:23 PM
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WalkingwithHim2
Posts: 3069
Joined: 12/13/2007
Status: offline
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I will be the best Mother, Sister, Daughter, Aunt and Daughter of the Risen King that I can be.... just like I am trying to do now.
_____________________________
Jesus saves the soul not necessarily the brain
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RE: What are you going to do if you never get married? - 11/21/2008 4:11:00 PM
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Grace-N-Mercy
Posts: 6041
Joined: 5/2/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Psalms274
I can honestly say that I came to the conclusion that it was possible that God could use me better as a single woman than as a married woman this summer ... even though I had carried a lifelong dream of adapting and raising children from abusive homes with my husband (who would have to share that same dream). For that reason, I surrendered this part of my life completely to the Father, knowing He could fulfill those longings I had in the depths of my heart as I served Him. He was capable of being the lover of my soul and bring both the people I needed to fulfill the fellowship part and the people He desired me to ministered to. There is a scripture that I use to hate in Isaiah 54.
It states, ""Sing, O barren woman,
you who never bore a child;
burst into song, shout for joy,
you who were never in labor;
because more are the children of the desolate woman
than of her who has a husband,"
says the LORD.
2 "Enlarge the place of your tent,
stretch your tent curtains wide,
do not hold back;
lengthen your cords,
strengthen your stakes.
3 For you will spread out to the right and to the left;
your descendants will dispossess nations
and settle in their desolate cities.
4 "Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame.
Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.
You will forget the shame of your youth
and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.
5 For your Maker is your husband—
the LORD Almighty is his name—
the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;
he is called the God of all the earth.
6 The LORD will call you back
as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit—
a wife who married young,
only to be rejected," says your God."
I surrendered this summer and rather than rejecting this word, I embraced it, looking for ways to expand my tent and be that surrogate wherever the Lord would lead me. I looked at how He used Corrie ten Boom and Amy Carmichael to impact His kingdom and submitted to His plan whatever it may be. I truly let go of every expectation and was able to leave my desires at the foot of His cross, knowing whatever He had planned, it was good, and He was capable of filling me beyond my wildest dreams.
Last month, My dear Father surprised me with the unexpected. He introduced me to my future husband! I have never been so surprised in all of my life. This man shares my dream to raise these precious children who desperately need the love of God. He loves the Lord and lives to serve Him. He adores children, is a man of prayer, seeking the Father face in all things. He not only exemplifies Jesus in the lives of the children he serves, but has become a picture of Jesus to me .. praying about what God's plan for us would be and boldly pursuing me when He knew what the Father's answer to that question was ... then allowing me the time to go before the Father to see what He had to say to me on the matter as we got to know one another. Not only is he everything I have prayed for, but the Father made sure that He spoke to this dear man's heart about me first ... and then just as Jesus had pursued me with clear intentions before I called Him my Savior, this precious man my Savior had in mind for me did the same, being clear yet gentle enough not to scare me away. He went before the Father for the words and was able to speak things only the Father could have known.
I have always felt it was not my place to look for a potential husband. (In fact the word "potential" actually turns my stomach ... I find it to be so impersonal.) I did not "get myself out there" as many here believe we should do because I knew God was able to do whatever He had planned for my life without my intervention. I do not call, email or pm guys to get their attention ... in fact I wear an anniversary band on my left ring finger to prevent the guys I encounter from pursuing me based on what they see (meaning based on my looks .... I have always hoped for God's choice to fall for my heart first). There have been times when I questioned my own convictions as I have read through some of the opinions I have read on these threads ... but never enough to act on those doubts.
The bottom line is I know had God shown me I was to serve Him as a single woman because He would reach more people, He was more than able to fill me with His joy all along the way. I now know it is not His plan, and I am filled with both awe and joy because of that ...
Psalms, I am SO happy for you! This is a wonderful testimony to two people listening to God to lead them together. Thank you so much for sharing, and I hope you continue to share how He is working things out in your lives. 
_____________________________
<-- When did Hollywood go from classy to 'cheap & easy'?
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RE: What are you going to do if you never get married? - 11/21/2008 5:29:10 PM
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Konstantinos
Posts: 4970
Joined: 4/14/2005
From: Greece Thessaloniki
Status: offline
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ill marry someone that doesnt meet all my expectations.
or die before that
_____________________________
i can pick you up off the floor and put you over my head
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RE: What are you going to do if you never get married? - 11/21/2008 7:16:01 PM
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Ninjaearth
Posts: 112
Joined: 2/16/2008
From: Hyattsville, Maryland
Status: offline
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This question haunts me even now; it's something I've thought about it so much. To be honest, I would be very unhappy and unsatisfied because I wouldn't be able to participate in a wonderful thing like marriage and have a family. I love to be married to a woman but if that never happens then I would be perfectly honest and say that I wouldn't really be so positive as much anymore. It's that constant fear I do live with, but not like "man...I"m never getting married" but rather "....how many more months or years will it be before then?" Maybe sad and depressed would be better words; nevertheless, I'd still serve the Lord as best as I could but living with the fact that I didn't have a wonderful thing like a wife; of course,not having a wife (from the Lord's perspective") is also good but one I wouldn't understand fully and would remain a mystery to me. My hope is that He does; I want to find someone who finally wants to be with me and really won't run away when they find out who I am and and says yes when the time comes.
_____________________________
"Spiritual Soldier Ninjaearth"
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