|
Users viewing this topic:
none
|
|
Login  | |
|
RE: even if he doesn't touch you? - 11/20/2008 11:09:57 PM
|
|
|
attheend
Posts: 13
Joined: 11/15/2008
Status: offline
|
I thank you again for your input...and I feel a bit of encouragment about living my own life...but that is the problem. I don't want a life separate from the man I'm married to. However, I am still here, aren't I? So I in fact, am doing my best to hang in there. I've said I just want to get through the holidays and then see what happens. He asked me to give it 6 months back in September, that leaves about 3.25 months IF nothing changes. (Nothing's changed so far.)
This i'm convinced of ... and my Christian therapist and may pastor both have said this, too; God does not want us to lhave miserable marriages.
I know that he allows trials for reasons we sometimes can't understand. I know that he IS wokring on my spiritual formation through this whole painful time. This is the part of my life that I continue to work on. Even this venue plays a small part.
Let me pose another question. Do you oppose gay marriage? Am I right to presume that you believe in marriage the way God planned it - between one man and one woman? If your answer is yes, and then I tell you that my marriage is not close to God's design for marriage, what would the difference be?
That might seem like a stretch, but do get my idea? If a marriage is not a GOD-DESIGNED, God honoring marriage, is it rihgt? Is it bound by God's word to not separate? You might quote scripture that says that homosexuality is a sin, but so is neglect and abandonment. So is NOT becoming one with your wife. So is a man who won't lead in his home. I'm just thinking out loud here...and wonder if you've ever thought along these lines. Very interesting.
(BTW - we got married young and UNbelievers, sex drugs and rock & roll were the priority.)
and hey - if i don't get back for a while....happy thianksgiving
|
|
|
|
|
RE: even if he doesn't touch you? - 11/20/2008 11:59:38 PM
|
|
|
pbaribeault
Posts: 1106
Joined: 4/29/2005
Status: offline
|
What you want is not at issue. You can't have it. You can have "roommates" or you can have separation. I think "roommates" is the more godly and more hopeful choice, but if you are in too much pain, I understand the draw to just move out of the constant hurt.
If you are going to try to stick it out as "roommates" for 3.25 months, at least try to be a contented roommate. Your constant hope and desire contributes as much to your pain as his choice to continually reject you. Learn to expect less. It will hurt less, and maybe that will make some space for healing, and possibly, maybe even real hope.
God does not want you to have a miserable marriage. God did not do this to you on purpose. If you are growing out of it, He is using a bad opportunity to bring about good. That's a specialty of His... but the situation itself is happening because sinful people are fundamentally broken, and broken people are fundamentally sinful. That's how our world is running, and you happened to get caught in a particularly bad whorl.
A marriage that was a covenant formed with pure intent but has degenerated to the point of misery is not logically comparable to a pseudo-commitment of two impure fornicators in the first place. I don't "oppose" gay marriage; I simply believe that it is impossible.
There is no directive in God's word to violate a real covenant simply because it has become a venue for a variety of relational sins... the directive is for the sinner(s) to stop sinning. Marriage covenants are always permanent: even if they are broken they are covenants-in-a-broken-state... they never go away. (and the directives against homosexual intercourse have nothing to do with marriage or covenants at all.)
A better ground you might stand on (if you want to be separated) is that, being that he is a professing Christan in unrepentant sin, you might practice "Church" discipline yourself (after having involved your Church leadership, whether or not they choose to follow through) by having no contact with him for a time, out of a desire to bring him out of his sin and back into fellowship.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: even if he doesn't touch you? - 11/21/2008 12:22:07 AM
|
|
|
attheend
Posts: 13
Joined: 11/15/2008
Status: offline
|
I understand your views on roommates vs. separation and thougth separation was the best option (a horrible option, but necessary) - just like you state in the last paragraph. However, the logistics of separation are difficult. (His first response was, "We can't afford to live in 2 places". Not, "please don't leave me!")
I know that God doesn't want us in this situation. But I'm just so mad at God, too. I know you might think that irreverent and unholy, but I have talked to him about it already, too.
I've had so many hurts in my life (mother died at 12, promiscuity due to searching for love= pregnancy then abortion, sexual abuse at 17, father died at 29, and now my marriage is dead.) I just don't feel strong enough to handle this horrible hurt - though I've handled it for years, and now at the 'crisis point' for over a year. I guess even that is by the power of the Holy Spirit, though. I won't compare to others...I know others have pain, too...but for me, I just say Lord, please, enough!
Anyway - you've given me some solid points to ponder along wtih many others. Thank you.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: even if he doesn't touch you? - 11/21/2008 7:14:21 AM
|
|
|
csl7037
Posts: 2071
Joined: 3/24/2008
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: pbaribeault
A marriage that was a covenant formed with pure intent but has degenerated to the point of misery is not logically comparable to a pseudo-commitment of two impure fornicators in the first place. I don't "oppose" gay marriage; I simply believe that it is impossible.
There is no directive in God's word to violate a real covenant simply because it has become a venue for a variety of relational sins... the directive is for the sinner(s) to stop sinning. Marriage covenants are always permanent: even if they are broken they are covenants-in-a-broken-state... they never go away. (and the directives against homosexual intercourse have nothing to do with marriage or covenants at all.)
I was going to address the question, but I can't do better than this. Pbaribeault is absolutely right. I once heard a pastor say that his first question in marriage counselling is "which one of you is sinng?" Truth is, it's virtually always BOTH. Even if one's sin is just in their response to the other's original sin (ie affair), it's still sin. And that can be and probably is what's keeping God from moving in the relationship. You can only change yourself. I know you're hurt and exhausted from this but God is calling you to Himself. When you put your focus on being the wife God has called you to be - and not just ironing his shirts but really living and walking in love regardless of whether he deserves it or responds to it, then God will be free to move in YOUR life...if he wants to come along, great...if not, that'll be sad, but you'll still be walking with the Lord and he'll take care of you in whatever is coming down the road.
You just HAVE to stop looking for a way out. God is your only "way out" - if it comes to that. If you walk away from this marriage, it has to be because your dh ultimately rejects God's grace and yours. You have to walk away free and right with the Lord so He can be with you and you're not walking right out of His will and His protection in your life. There will only be so much more heartache for you if you do this YOUR way or the WORLD's way.
NO, He doesn't want us in miserable marriage. But you can't use that to make an excuse to bail...He wants us to humble ourselves and let Him make it what He wants it to be. If/when He has given your dh the last opportunity to get in line, if he rebels against God, He'll get you out His way. If and until that happens, He wont give you more than you can handle with Him. Regardless of your marriage, He can't move in YOUR life until you release this, put it in His hands, stop looking for a justification to leave, and commit to be what He has called you to be.
You're not "at the end"; He holds your future and needs you to start looking to Him for it. My heart goes out for all the loss and abuse you've faced. Maybe He's got you "at the beginning" of a great life lived in His freedom! With everything you've already faced, don't let Satan steal this from you too! Your enemy is not your dh.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: even if he doesn't touch you? - 11/21/2008 8:05:39 AM
|
|
|
stamper_ben
Posts: 10364
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Lone Star State
Status: offline
|
It's been said that God hates divorce. A man I knew during the time of the separation of my wife and I talked to both of us about this. Why does He hate divorce? He hates it because of the pain it puts us through. Yes, marriage between a man and woman is a refection of our relationship with Jesus, but face it, neither one of the man nor woman is Christ, so we can fail at it.
_____________________________
We will be known as His by the love we show one another.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: even if he doesn't touch you? - 11/21/2008 10:57:06 AM
|
|
|
pbaribeault
Posts: 1106
Joined: 4/29/2005
Status: offline
|
Please, if you think separation is right, and that it holds the most hope for eventual reconciliation... don't hold off for 'practical' reasons. "We" don't have to agree to separate -- you need to leave him. (Remember to try and recognize that you have a personal identity and will that is not entirely caught up in the relationships of your life.) If that decision of yours affects his finances and/or standard of living... so much the better. If it affects your finances and/or standard of living, I'm sure you are capable of dealing with that.
There really are very few places where a single person with moderate employment (living alone) can not afford to support themself. Rent a low-level apartment and make some nice and frugal plans. You may need to live lightly for a while: Eat a lot of rice and carrots and oatmeal, with very little meat, cheese, boxes or cans. Give up your car and rely on the excellent combination of a warm coat, strong legs and public transit. Keep your utility use low (if you pay your own), and just don't buy anything.
You can "afford" to do this, if you are determined that it is right for you and for your covenant. Fear of poverty is not a good reason to stay present in a situation that you would otherwise leave.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: even if he doesn't touch you? - 11/21/2008 4:23:50 PM
|
|
|
karlie
Posts: 16433
Joined: 4/10/2005
From: Central California
Status: offline
|
Attention: Moderator's Note:
Just a reminder that discussion on divorce is not allowed outside of the One Stop Threads linked below. You can offer advice and support on the situation, but all discussion and opinion of divorce mist be taken there. Thanks!
Remarriage After Divorce - One Stop Thread
Divorce-One Stop Thread
Please do not reply to this message within the Community, or send me PMs regarding this.
Please email Community@salemwebnetwork.com with questions, comments, or concerns.
Sincerely,
Karlie
Forums Moderator
_____________________________
You can't stop the waves, but you can learn how to surf~
|
|
|
|
|
RE: even if he doesn't touch you? - 11/21/2008 8:07:44 PM
|
|
|
saycheeeeeeese
Posts: 48
Joined: 8/11/2007
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: attheend
He said, "Don't give me a list. Tell me ONE thing I can do."
both of you are facing something that's seemingly insurmountable. your home/family has been falling apart for a long time. it'll take time to fix all the leaks and rebuild your home/family.
he's probably overwhelmed with all his "shortcomings" ... and it sounds like he's given up. then, it sounds like he wanted you to tell him ONE thing that he can do. you asked him to TALK to you about the entire list. ... he probably doesn't know where to begin.
you say that you want touch. start out with baby steps. in response to his "tell me ONE thing that I can do" ... you can say "hold me while you're watching TV" ... or "hug me before we go to sleep" ... ONE simple thing. ... and then when he does that, give him a little kiss on the cheek.
and ... i don't know - you might already be doing this, but ... wear makeup, dress in nice clothes (form-fitting) ... especially at home. sleep in lingerie instead of pajamas.
tell him that you respect him, and when he asks, be prepared to tell him 2-3 things that you honestly respect about him. there must be something good in the man. maybe you respect that he's been faightul to you for 25 years ... maybe it's that his co-workers think highly of him ... maybe it's that he takes out the trash ... or places his laundry into the laundry basket ... or has made a step towards making you feel loved (if he hugs you after you request that to be the "ONE thing") ... or that he's honest ... and/or trustworthy ... that you respect his abilities ... that he is good at figuring out things by himself ... i don't know - you know your husband.
or ... remember a few years back when he treated you like a princess? ... don't complain that he doesn't now ... just tell him how special it made you feel when he brought you flowers ... and that you still like flowers.
best wishes! i believe that your marriage can be built back up to AMAZING!
|
|
|
|
|
RE: even if he doesn't touch you? - 11/25/2008 1:58:35 AM
|
|
|
attheend
Posts: 13
Joined: 11/15/2008
Status: offline
|
I was feeling a bit better and in a place of waiting. I've sought God and not heard clearly so i am waiting.
So I went with my husband to his counselor today. It was terribly discouraging for me.
Once again it was brought up that my husband said he as "fine" with our marriage when I first called a counselor 15 months ago. I said, "He said he was fine and we had not had sex in over a year (at that time)". Today's counslor said, "He was fine. He has different needs."
My husband agreed with that analysis.
My husband said, "I don't want to rehash old stuff". He said that when I said that we have not come to any resolution on our 'core' problems...the problems that have been chronic for years, but now really put out on the table. (and with professionals to try to help us come to resolution of some sort).
He doesn't want to fix whats broken. He just wants to try to go on...go forward. I reminded him that even in his work , if a part fails, they look back - they research and examine what failed so as to not make the same mistake.
He said that he thought we started distancing when "kids came" (like the just came). I suggested that that is probably true as it is with almost every couple when they become parents. Our daughter is 21!!!! 21 years ago he thought there was something wrong and he never said anything?!
He said, "things were fine, then you changed" (I was saved 13 years ago).
Today it was suggested that he really hasn't changed much at all. That we married him, and didn't know each other's needs, really.
The slight energy I felt after a short retreat this weekend in knowing that God is working in me through this, and in spite of this, was dashed and I feel sad and afraid.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: even if he doesn't touch you? - 11/25/2008 7:36:39 AM
|
|
|
csl7037
Posts: 2071
Joined: 3/24/2008
Status: offline
|
How frustrating, I'm so sorry. Like you said, I don't think anything he cited is unique at all. Babies alter life in a million ways, very few people understand each other's needs when they get married (or their own for that matter), and people change. So the questions is what do you do about it? He just sounds so hopeless. Does his counselor just think he has different needs to "deal with it" (to you) and this is a healthy strategy? And the counselor is OK with just going on from here with all the problems just to be ignored? I hope you're not paying him much!
|
|
|
|
|
RE: even if he doesn't touch you? - 11/25/2008 8:05:11 AM
|
|
|
MisterTR
Posts: 65
Joined: 5/23/2008
Status: offline
|
Finding the right counselor is difficult. My wife and I didn't find the right one for us right away. We found that some initial separate meetings with the counselor gave us enough trust in him so it felt safe to share openly and honestly.
_____________________________
"And we know that all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
|
|
|
|
|
RE: even if he doesn't touch you? - 11/25/2008 8:29:38 AM
|
|
|
pbaribeault
Posts: 1106
Joined: 4/29/2005
Status: offline
|
You can work with the perspective he is expressing...
He has "different needs" -- means that he acknowledges what you need and knows that you need it and knows that he has the ability to provide it for you if he chooses to.
He wants to "try to go on" -- means that he is willing to have the future look different from the past, if (and only if) you are willing not to bother to specifically analyze and blame him for the pain you have been in so far.
So, the only point you need to make to him is that an important part of marriage is meeting someone else's needs even if you don't really need that right now. So you want to look forward to a happier marriage starting soon, no past attached. How soon does he think he can find some time to do this?
|
|
|
|
|
RE: even if he doesn't touch you? - 11/25/2008 9:23:21 AM
|
|
|
evryknee
Posts: 297
Joined: 3/9/2008
Status: offline
|
In his opinion (if he has stated), what has changed for the negative in your relationship since you became a Christian? If he hasn't stated, then maybe this is a good thing to ask and have him list it out.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: even if he doesn't touch you? - 11/25/2008 10:43:27 AM
|
|
|
truthrevealed
Posts: 414
Joined: 12/6/2007
Status: offline
|
attheend, I have not read every post here so someone may have mentioned this, if not, I'm the lone person out but this must be stressed.
I've not experienced lack of sex from my partner but over the years there have been other areas of "lack" to the point that I believe I can empathize with you on some level.
I'd caution you not to allow your hurts, disappointment and "justifiable" anger towards your husbands unwillingness to allow pride to creep in and ensnare you. I've had enough "complaints" towards my husband in times past(yes, things that REALLY hurt)that it became a major disagreement between him and I, YET.......NOT ONCE in my crying out to God was I allowed to pour out my heart about HIS wrongs without God revealing to me, MINE . There is ALWAYS....YOUR PART. MANY, MANY, MANY times, the people closest to us are merely ******PROJECTING our own behavior*****. They are truly MIRRORS for us that we fail to see because we're loaded with images of THEIR behavior.
If you take this to mean I am blaming you for anything or that I've failed to read how you have stated you aren't perfect in previous posts then you have missed my point. Change, starts with YOU and it's a losing battle if it doesn't happen there FIRST!
|
|
|
|
|
RE: even if he doesn't touch you? - 11/25/2008 12:11:15 PM
|
|
|
attheend
Posts: 13
Joined: 11/15/2008
Status: offline
|
Yes the counselor seems to be saying - 'deal with it'...not necessarily in a cruel way, but in a matter-of-fact way. Like, fiind a way to deal with it.
I want to explain one thing. Because my husband says he wants things different, but hen doesn't change his behavior...because he says what can I do, and he's told a few very practical specific things he can do and doesn't do them....because of this pattern of talk with no action (including I love you...then not making love to me - and I must ask you to imagine 2.5 years!) because of all that, I don't trust what he says.
A marriage without trust is heading over the edge.
I am looking at myself. I've done lots of work on me the past year. I've forgiven to the extent I can forgive for now. I'm asking God daily (good advice) to give me the strength to do right...to be righteous, to live at peace 'as much as it depends on me'. I am certainly not perfect...I'm an emotional woman with many needs.
We are going to try one more marital counselor in a couple weeks.
This last session was just so discouraging. Thank you for feedback...encouragement...challenges.
happy thanksgiving to you all.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: even if he doesn't touch you? - 11/25/2008 2:15:49 PM
|
|
|
laura...
Posts: 2925
Joined: 3/1/2005
From: NE Ohio
Status: offline
|
quote:
Yes the counselor seems to be saying - 'deal with it'...not necessarily in a cruel way, but in a matter-of-fact way. Like, fiind a way to deal with it.
In reality that is the only advice anyone can give you. You have to deal with the lack of physical intimacy in your marriage. You can't make your husband give you what you need. You can't make him change his behavior. You can only change you. You can only choose what you will do in response.
Is it right? No.
Is your husband in sin by neglecting your emotional/sexual needs? Yes.
Is it grounds for divorce? Some would say yes because it would constitute abandonment of the marriage.
Ultimately, it comes down to what are you willing to do, what are you willing to live with. Are you willing to continue to be his wife knowing that it is very likely going to be a celebate marriage? Or... what?
My heart really breaks for you. If I was in your position I don't know what I would do. If my husband was not intimate with me it would crush me.
_____________________________
This is what the Lord says: “Stop at the crossroads and look around. Ask for the old, godly way, and walk in it. Travel its path, and you will find rest for your souls. But you reply, ‘No, that’s not the road we want!’ Jer 6:16
|
|
|
|
|
RE: even if he doesn't touch you? - 11/25/2008 3:04:56 PM
|
|
|
seagullplayer
Posts: 117
Joined: 9/18/2007
Status: offline
|
Take your husband to see the movie Fireproof.
_____________________________
The world has only one problem, sin.
There is only one solution, Jesus.
THE WAY.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: even if he doesn't touch you? - 11/25/2008 3:18:20 PM
|
|
|
stamper_ben
Posts: 10364
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Lone Star State
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: seagullplayer
Take your husband to see the movie Fireproof.
I've been reading a lot in this folder about that movie. Here's a review that I just found. I want to take my wife to see it now.
_____________________________
We will be known as His by the love we show one another.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: even if he doesn't touch you? - 11/25/2008 5:46:40 PM
|
|
|
truthrevealed
Posts: 414
Joined: 12/6/2007
Status: offline
|
attheend, at this point(after 2.5 years)you've certainly developed a sense of resentment and as you say distrust of your husband(and from a human standpoint it's VERY understandable). But be careful that your response to him is not flowing from a heart of bitterness, mistrust, anger and even hurt and disappointment. Yes, you feel these things with a cause but he's not likely to be 'open' by sensing these emotions from you in your conversation and behavior(he'll just PROJECT back at you your feelings---even if they're hidden). *******This is not a matter of feeding into his behavoir or overlooking his responsibility*****---it's about getting what you want, having peace in your own heart and allowing the situation to teach you what God desires.
I TRULY believe that, despite his failings, if you are open...truly open, truly allowing yourself to trust...and consider him as head/leader even though he doesn't act like it, he'll recieve that unconditional love from you and give it in return. YOU CAN'T DO THIS ON YOUR OWN. You're being told to love, when you want to knock him upside the head  , but exchange with God your anger and disappointment over this situation and recieve His unconditional love for yourself and then for your husband in return.
Stop talking about the situation! More often than not, people will hear your story and condemn your husband which feeds into your already heated and tender emotions....therein lies NO freedom. Make peace your priority and not being right!!!!!(BTDT).
Praying for you
|
|
|
|
|
RE: even if he doesn't touch you? - 11/26/2008 1:50:49 AM
|
|
|
attheend
Posts: 13
Joined: 11/15/2008
Status: offline
|
truthrevealed, You say trust - by allowing myself to be truly open. What would you suggest - what does that look like to you? Unconditional love? I don't have it. I can't do it on my own. I'm asking God to change me...as i've asked for months. I believe that it's only by his grace and power that I'm even still here.
I should stop talking about this here, I suppose. But can you even imagine everyday that goes by and we just coexist together? We're pleasant, oh sure .. we're civil. And I guess that's fine for him.
Don't you see, it's not fine for me yet everyone says, love him, trust him, .... I have done that.
I wrote this once: Is it possible that this IS the end. That I have indeed shown love, joy, peace; been long suffering (for longer than any wife should ever have to be), kind and gentle; been faithful in persevering, and self-controlled. That i have done all to this end. That THIS is the goal, and that God's future and hope for me is in a whole new place.?
It's interesting how much advice everyone has to give. I still just wonder if ANYone has been in a situation anything like this.
Just FYI - only my counselor, my pastor, and 4 close friends...and you guys...know about this. They are friends wtih my husband, too, and they are not condemming him.
anyway...
maybe I will sign off for a while (til after Thanskgiving weekend anyway - maybe even until we see the 'new' counselor). Maybe I'll just continue in prayer, and hang in here until the holidays are over.
I'll come back to see if anyone says more.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: even if he doesn't touch you? - 11/26/2008 9:27:59 AM
|
|
|
truthrevealed
Posts: 414
Joined: 12/6/2007
Status: offline
|
attheend, I guess you really must decide if what csl---has said in the above post is true.
What does trust and being open look like? Well, you say that you want your husband to want you, to make love to you and to treat you as you should be treated, yet you say.......
"I feel no romantic love for him"
"it's just too late"
"how can I be expected to stay when I don't love"
"I know I could initiate things, but..."
"The anger and resentment has built walls"
"Time is tearing me down"
"I don't love the man I'm married to"
Changing your response and your attitude from what you've said(and obviously what you feel)is a start to being open. Realizing that this is not a matter of BLAME. That the advice you've been given is not an effort to be unsympathetic towards your hurts but to aid you in discovering that if HE'S not changing and you DON'T want a divorce---what/who else can you change but you?
If you're born again you DO have unconditional love. And NO, you're not going to roll out of bed one day and everything be fine. But you said that you're seeking God thru prayer and fasting. You've been hurt, well beyond and before your relationship with your husband and it WILL TAKE TIME for healing, but you can begin by allowing God you reveal to you what's going on with YOU which will require you to take the focus of your hurts and anger off of your husband and onto God's amazing grace....that's what was meant by not talking about it. We can rotate in our minds ALL DAY LONG how we're right and/or how we've been wronged and all it does is delay our own healing.
By the by, I wouldn't have NEARLY as much to say, if I did not TRULY understand what you're going thru  .
|
|
|
|
|
RE: even if he doesn't touch you? - 11/26/2008 7:19:15 PM
|
|
|
Hislittleone
Posts: 630
Joined: 7/13/2007
Status: offline
|
quote:
I still just wonder if ANYone has been in a situation anything like this.
Attheend, perhaps you missed my post (#12) in which I shared that I have been in the same situation. Have you checked out the link I posted or any of the other materials I recommended?
Laura was right when she told you that in the end you can only control how you will respond to him. You can't make your husband change but you can certainly be a strong influence on him. Sometimes a man just needs to hit rock bottom before he sees the light.
Is your husband a Christian? (Sorry if this has already been covered. It's been a while since I first read through the thread.)
|
|
|
|
|
RE: even if he doesn't touch you? - 11/26/2008 10:19:56 PM
|
|
|
attheend
Posts: 13
Joined: 11/15/2008
Status: offline
|
hislittleone - hi. somehow i had missed your post (#12) (or I just lost track...many have responded).
Thank you for pointing it out again. I went back and just read it. I'm sorry that you experienced this terrible hurt. I think I will get that book right away.
If i was to pick one hardest thing.... it's the dealing with the thought that i'm "supposed" to love, because I AM a Christian. I DO love him with agape love. But to be just gut-honest I'm not sure anymore if I even want him to try. I know how awful that sounds. I can't believe it comes into my mind and out of my mouth. I never asked for this. I never planned this.
I appreciate your honesty and your example of standing firm. I'm so afraid about separation but i do think it will come to this. I'm just not wanting to take that step right now...just before the holidays. Is that lame?
thanks
|
|
|
|
|
RE: even if he doesn't touch you? - 11/30/2008 12:08:59 PM
|
|
|
attheend
Posts: 13
Joined: 11/15/2008
Status: offline
|
I felt a bit hopeful after 2 weekends of 'retreat' to pray, think, fast, etc..
Then I was so discouraged at the last counseling session.
Now I just dont even know how to pray. Change me? sure - give me a heart transplant because the other is broken too badly
Change him? yes - draw him close to You so he can see what it means to love his wife
Sounds right. Sounds good.
In the meantime I sleep alone and it is 3 months since "balls in your court" discussion and there is so little change. There are more words, but not the actions to match.
God is with me on my spiritual journey - there is excitement there...but translating that to the day-to-day is not happening.
please just pray - i know you have.
|
|
|
|
|
Forum Tools
Printable Version
So really no one is hopeless.....