John_O
Posts: 8028
Joined: 9/5/2006
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ORIGINAL: Jess_M
John_O, first you said
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The truth is ALWAYS the best policy
Then you said
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he doesn't need to tell her unless she asks. Why hurt her
and then you said
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if she asks, I will tell
So are you saying that lying through omission is okay?
Lying through omission is only possible when answering a direct question.
Expecting someone to come clean on their entire life is both unreasonable and would take forever. An example, When I was in the 7th grade my folks got a divorce. It was quite ugly and I was under a lot of stress due to it. As a symptom of that stress I started shoplifting. I have since repented of it and have never shoplifted (or even felt tempted to) again.
Should I tell my potential that I shoplifted when I was in the 7th grade (35 plus years ago)? Why bring up things that are forgiven and forgotten unless she asks about them? How am I lying to her?
Now that we've resolved the shoplifting, what about the other 500,000 or so issues/events from my lifetime. And then the 500,000 or so issues events from her lifetime.
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What if she doesn't know what specific questions to ask because she isn't thinking her husband is doing her wrong?
As we see from the real life example he confessed it to his wife and destroyed the marriage. Even though the marriage was doing well and they were all happy.
What good did telling his wife do? How did it improve her walk with the Lord or her life? What benefit was derived from it? This is where discretion and discernment comes in. If He has repented before God and has peace about it, tehn why destroy her life with something from the past?
Unless of course God tells him that it's time to talk about it. But I don't get the feeling that happened in this case.
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If it were me, the foundation of trust would be completely gone. I would forever wonder what else has he done that he hasn't told me about?
There comes a time when you just have to choose to trust. All of us have done things that we've not told others about. And none of us has told our potentials/spouses everything about us. There is no way to know for sure that the person you are inteersted in is not a child molestor or axe murderer or bank robber. No matter what they seem on teh outside or how they act in public. All we can do is watch them and see if there are any red flags and pray and listen to what God says about them.
So in brief, total honesty is always the best policy.
Don't do anything you'd be afraid to have to confess to later
When asked, always answer with the truth
(sorry for the sketchiness of this entire post. Busy busy day at work today)
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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