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RE: Lost Virginity at 27..very disappointed - 11/18/2008 6:08:47 PM
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all.consuming.fire
Posts: 191
Joined: 11/12/2008
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Hi Roberta,
Yes you bring up some good points and some good questions. I see what you are saying about not comparing my life in the U.S vs. my new life here in the U.K. I will keep this in mind when I feel that urge to do so. So far I have been impressed with the U.K and like it better here. Things seem to be working out well, I am just waiting for a job to open.
As far as your question about what I am going to do if God does not bring a man is one I need to think about. I dont really know how I would react to this. I feel He does have someone better for me than an unsaved wordly guy. This I see clearly now, I guess thats why leaving was tough but doable. If He never brings a man in my life, I guess I would ask Him why He would choose not to do that. It shouldnt change my relationship with Him. Lately I have been feeling the need to be married and want that special connection. I guess that is partly why I jumped the gun with this present guy. I really wanted that. I wanted it so bad that I took it into my own hands and created a mess out of it. I also felt pressure because I am getting older and guys already want younger woman than 27. To some that is considered old already. I felt insecure I guess. That would be the reason behind the actions I took. I am just being honest with you. I know its silly to think this, but we all have our weaknesses. Like I mentioned I do feel stronger these days.
If the Lord does not bring me someone in my life I am going to have to be satisfied with Him and Him alone. I will learn to find what I need from Him alone. I am starting to do that each day now since I am single. You asked a hard question and I am trying to as honest as I can without sounding Christianise. I would feel sad if He did not bring someone in my life EVER. I want that companionship...its a desire in my heart....but one that I have to be careful not to tamper with, otherwise the result will be diasterous as I have seen it to be. If the Lord told me tomorrow that NO HE DOES NOT HAVE ANYONE FOR ME EVER, AND THAT I WAS TO REMAIN SINGLE....I would be somewhat disappointed and sad. I guess I would have to deal with it though. It would be tough. I would still love Him and trust Him since He knows what is best for me. Maybe by Him not sending me someone, He is protecting me from further heartache. I have visited the Marriage section and its full of hurting woman whose husbands are struggling. My heart goes out to them as I read their posts. Whose to say that if I stayed with this guy and got married that it would not be me in a few years. I guess it just comes down to simple basic trust in Him that He knows what He is doing. I learning...really I am. Each day.
Thanks Roberta for the thoughtful questions. Made me think tonight =)
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RE: Lost Virginity at 27..very disappointed - 11/18/2008 6:16:59 PM
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csl7037
Posts: 2071
Joined: 3/24/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: all.consuming.fire
I have visited the Marriage section and its full of hurting woman whose husbands are struggling. My heart goes out to them as I read their posts. Whose to say that if I stayed with this guy and got married that it would not be me in a few years. I guess it just comes down to simple basic trust in Him that He knows what He is doing. I learning...really I am. Each day.
Thanks Roberta for the thoughtful questions. Made me think tonight =)
That's not to say that if you do everything right and do get married to the "perfect" guy (who doesn't exist) you may not end up in their (our) shoes someday. Life is funny, we are human, but God is sovereign. He knows what He's doing and where He's taking you.
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RE: Lost Virginity at 27..very disappointed - 11/18/2008 6:24:49 PM
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all.consuming.fire
Posts: 191
Joined: 11/12/2008
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CSL
I see your point too. I guess we kind of think that if we do the right thing, we will get the right results. But as you stated that is not always the case.
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RE: Lost Virginity at 27..very disappointed - 11/18/2008 7:14:45 PM
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deermousie
Posts: 1946
Joined: 9/26/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: all.consuming.fire
I think I feel strong again becasue I truly am repentful...meaning I am sorry for what I did, I am turing around and not doing it again, and walking away. I dont think I would feel strong like I am now if I stayed. I would still be that weak little thing without a backbone that was the nice Christian. I am so glad its over, and He has forgiven me. Its like my strength came back to me the minute I did the right thing without compromise.
I am just dancin', All.consuming.fire, because some Christians never repent and put God's ways as more important than their own, and never lay their desires on the altar like you have. You got it, lady, and you'll face this kind of situation again with a backbone! You have set your heart on God, not yourself, and being in right relationship is making you a powerhouse because the power is from Him. God's ways work, and you are now on God's freeway instead of hacking through the swamp of doing it your own way. Whoo-woo! Confession, repentence, and surrendering to God's ways. It works.
quote:
If He never brings a man in my life, I guess I would ask Him why He would choose not to do that. It shouldnt change my relationship with Him.
This is so true, and it is surrender at the foot of the cross. "God, you can do anything in my life, even if I don't understand why (I'd sure like to know but I'll do it whether I know or not)."
quote:
Thanks deermousie =)
You're welcome, All.consuming.fire. Thanks for making my day! (((Hugs)))
_____________________________
Want to know where a certain word or phrase in the Bible is found? www.biblegateway.com Yay!
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RE: Lost Virginity at 27..very disappointed - 11/20/2008 5:43:43 PM
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jn1010lf
Posts: 351
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Hello all.consuming.fire
Your situation is more involved than just this one man but let me say, Do Not continue a relationship with this man. Explain why. Christians are not to enter into a close relationship with anyone that is not a believer as well.
Seek the Lord for His will in your life. Let yourself go loose in Him and mold you into His likeness.
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RE: Lost Virginity at 27..very disappointed - 11/20/2008 7:40:54 PM
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deermousie
Posts: 1946
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quote:
ORIGINAL: jn1010lf
Do Not continue a relationship with this man.
She's already confessed the sin and renounced the relationship. See post #24. She's doing it right.
_____________________________
Want to know where a certain word or phrase in the Bible is found? www.biblegateway.com Yay!
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RE: Lost Virginity at 27..very disappointed - 11/22/2008 7:03:30 PM
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agapetos
Posts: 5563
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: This side of the lil duck pond!
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Firstly, I'm glad that you've been able to break this relationship off.
quote:
YES, stay here (I'm a Brit), get to see our beautiful country, join a lively church and give yourself a break (and give your spiritual life a chance). As a fellow Brit, I couldn't agree more with Manda. You have an opportunity which many would be envious of and you may not be able to do it at another time in your life.
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I could give up chocolate ~ but I'm no quitter!
My blog
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RE: Lost Virginity at 27..very disappointed - 11/24/2008 3:24:04 PM
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edlove50
Posts: 50
Joined: 1/23/2006
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Hello all consuming fire - sounds like you are on the right track. I wanted to let you know you are not alone in this. I could write a book on the sins I have committed. Just understand God is a fogiving God and not to beat yourself up over this. Satan would love for you to do that. But God's forgiveness and love is what you need to get through this. There will be days you will think back to this and really feel down but then look at the cross and think about Jesus looking down on you and smiling. He has already forgotten your sin just as He has forgotten all of my sins . As suggested before, read the Word of God daily for it will renew your mind and fill you with God's love and understanding. Keep on trucking.
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RE: Lost Virginity at 27..very disappointed - 11/27/2008 5:38:03 AM
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all.consuming.fire
Posts: 191
Joined: 11/12/2008
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Yes I guess the enemy has totally made me feel like my sin is theeeee worse sin ever. Like what I did was far worse than someone elses sin. I know this to be false because sin is sin and God has sins no matter how small or big it is, its irrelivant. Once we confess our sins and turn back than we are forgiven and can continue daily fellowship with the Father. I am praying and asking the Lord to take away any feels of guilt or shame or feelings of worthlessness. its not like my idenity it found in me being a virgin but rather is should be found in the cross and what He did for me when He forgave all my sins, past present and future. Thank you to all.
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RE: Lost Virginity at 27..very disappointed - 11/27/2008 9:04:18 PM
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Bethel01
Posts: 2
Joined: 11/27/2008
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A message for all.consuming.fire:
Dear sister, I read alot of the previous posts and wanted to encourage you. First, remember that when a person repents, God forgives in His special way which I am so very grateful for: that is, to Him, it's as if nothing ever happened. He wipes the slate clean. Because of this, though the devil may want to guilt trip us, he can't be successful, because the record of it has been ERASED by God forever.
Also, concerning your wish to be married to a Godly soulmate, please keep in your heart His promise in the Word: Psalm 37:4 "Delight yourself also in the LORD and He will give you the desires and secret petitions of your heart." I will pray in agreement with you to Father for Him to send you a soulmate perfect for you, in His perfect timing, and for Him to help you know without a doubt he is the right one, the one He wants for you.
I read with compassion about your experience, and I am so happy for you, and thankful for God's strength and power in you. The road you travelled may have been hard, but be encouraged in what a pastor here in California said (Rick Warren): " Your most effective ministry will come out of your deepest hurts. Other people are going to find healing in you wounds. The things you're most embarrassed about, most ashamed of & most reluctant to share are the very tools that God can use most powerfully to heal others." God turns what the enemy meant for evil into good, as I can testify to by what He has done in my own life. Because of the abusive relationships I'd been in before I was saved, I nearly lost my life & capacity to love. But, on this Thanksgiving day I want to share with you, and all who may read this, that God has healed my broken heart, restored me to health, and delivered me from every attack and plan and wound inflicted by the enemy. Dear all.consuming.fire, God will use what He has done for us to bring healing to many, who just need to hear how God has done it for someone else! Love you!
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RE: Lost Virginity at 27..very disappointed - 11/30/2008 1:42:07 AM
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StrongWisdom
Posts: 32
Joined: 11/30/2008
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all.consuming.fire,
i just joined crosswalk...and read your story. ironically, i have kind of a similar situation, and can share what i learned today.
I am also 27 and been a christian really all my life, worked in the ministry and everything. However, I have connected with guys on the internet. Although i have never met them in person or engaged in physcial things, i have still done things that i'm not proud of...such as entertaining awful conversations and have engaged in awful sites. This is not me. I'm a woman of God, so I thought.  And, I also asked what is wrong with me as I felt very shameful. How could my walk with Christ come to this low point? 
I repented, and still felt awful, even though God's word says that there is "no new condemnation" for those who are made new . But, then I read I Corithians 12:9...that states that God's grace is sufficent for us in our weakness.  The NLT translation states that "My power works best in your weakness." What this meant to me was that even though I gave in to this behavior and made mistakes...God's power is yet working with me. And even at this low point, my life is Powerful!
God is right here, working that power in you...to change things around, to make things new, to bring restoration and healing. You are at a point where you can really tap into your spirit and take in that power given to us by God's grace. And because of your open repentance to this online community, I believe that God is continuing to do a powerful work in your life. Things are going to get better. God loves you, and He needs you for His plan. Remember that He is all knowing, and knew you were going to have this challenge. You are His child. He has not forsaken you. He is embracing you even stronger. Walk away from the past. Leave that guy alone. God knows exactly who you in need, but meanwhile let His power work in you!  There is an awesome transformation beginning in your life!
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RE: Lost Virginity at 27..very disappointed - 11/30/2008 3:06:47 AM
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Roberta_
Posts: 7427
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: East Bay Area
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Hi StrongWisdom and welcome to the boards!
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) and what I've learned online and IRL. I've heard so much positive about the UK that I'd love to visit there someday. The fact that you already have family there has got to be of some comfort to you as well.
