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RE: Why cannot I be free from insecurity? - 11/13/2008 9:01:08 PM
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Cloak
Posts: 4761
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: Canada
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Sunshine~
Do you mean you suffer from ADD (attention deficit disorder)? If yes, don't worry many folks suffer from it and they are leading a normal life and carry out so many activities.
_____________________________
Blessings!
And My God shall meet ALL Your Needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4: 19)
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RE: Why cannot I be free from insecurity? - 11/13/2008 9:01:55 PM
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manda59
Posts: 6187
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
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quote:
ORIGINAL: sunshine4God
Thanks so much.You are the only one whos ever called me very bright.Most people consider me pretty slow. Thanks so much for your encouragement.God bless you always.
Sunshine
It's pretty obvious to me (and I'd imagine to others here too) how bright you are. Your command of English is excellent (ie you have a rich vocabulary and are articulate), your language/composition skills are also evident, and you communicate well.
Who are these "most people"?
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"Manda is right"
mvic, January 2009
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RE: Why cannot I be free from insecurity? - 11/13/2008 9:19:55 PM
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prolifepj
Posts: 724
Joined: 9/12/2008
From: just over yonder
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You tell her Manda59!
_____________________________
Sho nuff honey chile - Smile, it makes people wonder what you're up to!
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RE: Why cannot I be free from insecurity? - 11/13/2008 9:23:03 PM
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sunshine4God
Posts: 7364
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Sterling Ct.
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Cloak
Sunshine~
Do you mean you suffer from ADD (attention deficit disorder)? If yes, don't worry many folks suffer from it and they are leading a normal life and carry out so many activities.
Yup.Thats what I have and do try to live life as full as I can.
_____________________________
Matthew 5:16.
"Let your light so shine before men that they will see
your good deeds and glorify your Lord".
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RE: Why cannot I be free from insecurity? - 11/13/2008 9:27:02 PM
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sunshine4God
Posts: 7364
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Sterling Ct.
Status: offline
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Sunshine
It's pretty obvious to me (and I'd imagine to others here too) how bright you are. Your command of English is excellent (ie you have a rich vocabulary and are articulate), your language/composition skills are also evident, and you communicate well.
Who are these "most people"?
[/quote]
Thanks so much.English and reading and writing have always been the things I am best at.As my 8th grade teacher said I have a way with words. These most people have been kids growing up.I have been called stupid,retarded,etc. People have put me down alot just since I am different than others you know.I'm still getting over all that.
_____________________________
Matthew 5:16.
"Let your light so shine before men that they will see
your good deeds and glorify your Lord".
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RE: Why cannot I be free from insecurity? - 11/13/2008 9:27:28 PM
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deermousie
Posts: 1946
Joined: 9/26/2007
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I wouldn't have thought you slow; your language skills are great and your mind is working and considering things. You are standing back and looking at yourself and wondering why some things are; that's called "metacognition" and is a high function of the mind.
If you are slower in person (I have to think things through for a while) then the internet is a great place. We can think and then talk and don't have to compete with people who think things through faster.
_____________________________
Want to know where a certain word or phrase in the Bible is found? www.biblegateway.com Yay!
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RE: Why cannot I be free from insecurity? - 11/13/2008 9:37:02 PM
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manda59
Posts: 6187
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
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quote:
ORIGINAL: sunshine4God
Thanks so much.English and reading and writing have always been the things I am best at.As my 8th grade teacher said I have a way with words. These most people have been kids growing up.I have been called stupid,retarded,etc. People have put me down alot just since I am different than others you know.I'm still getting over all that.
It was cruel and unkind of those children to do that and I don't mean to undermine those feelings of hurt you had. HOWEVER, you are not a child now, and in order to get over these feelings of insecurity and lack of confidence, it is vital that you try to begin to see yourself as an ADULT who has the power to make choices and be in control of your own life. When your mind listens to the old voices of those children, you're giving the power to them (or the memory of them). When your mind craves the attention of your friend, you're trying to give her the power over you. It's time to learn to take the power back, to not let other people's views of you affect your life, especially as they're so long ago in the past, and to no longer try to make someone else responsible for you.
You are responsible for yourself, and fully capable of taking care of yourself. You have the power!!
Have you ever spoken to a trained and qualified counsellor about these feelings of insecurity?
_____________________________
"Manda is right"
mvic, January 2009
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RE: Why cannot I be free from insecurity? - 11/13/2008 10:19:23 PM
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manda59
Posts: 6187
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
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I was wondering if you perhaps missed this question of mine?
quote:
ORIGINAL: manda59
Could I ask how independent you are at home - eg do you cook for yourself, do your own shopping, do your own laundry etc?
_____________________________
"Manda is right"
mvic, January 2009
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RE: Why cannot I be free from insecurity? - 11/13/2008 10:27:49 PM
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sunshine4God
Posts: 7364
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Sterling Ct.
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: manda59
I was wondering if you perhaps missed this question of mine?
quote:
ORIGINAL: manda59
Could I ask how independent you are at home - eg do you cook for yourself, do your own shopping, do your own laundry etc?
Nope I answered it earlier.I help my Mom with dinner,buy my own personal items,do my own laundry,vaccuming,dishes etc.
_____________________________
Matthew 5:16.
"Let your light so shine before men that they will see
your good deeds and glorify your Lord".
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RE: Why cannot I be free from insecurity? - 11/13/2008 11:08:35 PM
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Cloak
Posts: 4761
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: Canada
Status: offline
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(((Sunshine)))
I know how you feel. As a kid, I was always teased of being slow.
Ironically, I have become a fast-paced person now that I ask God all the time to slow me down.
Isn't that funny!!!
Joyce Meyer wrote a wonderful book that would help you to combat those negative feelings you've had as well as the verbal abuse by those kids. The book entitled "Battlefield of the mind," although, I admit I did not read that book; however, I've heard that it was a best-seller that helped millions and millions of people.
(((Sunshine4God))) I honestly find you a wonderful sweet and smart young lady. If we just remember that the world is filled with unfair and cruel people and situations, our resentment would diminish.
Keeping you in my prayers!!!
_____________________________
Blessings!
And My God shall meet ALL Your Needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4: 19)
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RE: Why cannot I be free from insecurity? - 11/13/2008 11:40:18 PM
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novitiate
Posts: 92
Joined: 3/9/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: sunshine4God
quote:
ORIGINAL: novitiate
Many things have been written. But my question to you is why you feel deliverance will occur in a short time when you've spent a lifetime building and feeding this problem? It didn't happen overnight, nor will the solution come in that guise either. Much like anything that must be dismantled you'll have to chip away at it one brick at a time.
Consider the source of your insecurity and begin there. Until you've healed, forgiven, and released the ghosts of the past they are merely occupying space in your mind and heart and preventing you from moving forward. You may wish to make a list of affirmations that you recite each day to combat the negative thoughts that permeate your head. In essence you need to discard the tape playing within and replace it with something wholesome and uplifting instead.
God bless.
I don't really get what you are saying.Could you explain in a different way? I'm sorry but I'm kind of confused as to what you are saying.Sorry love Sunshine.
In essence you are being very hard on yourself regarding your problem. Nothing happens overnight and the feelings you have took time to develop. Ridding yourself of them is going to take time as well, but you do so step by step. Prayer along with positive actions is the recipe for success. You've been given tons of suggestions. What I'm essentially saying is you must swap out the bad thoughts and replace them with good ones instead. Some people use books, devotionals, affirmations, meditate, exercise, etc. Different methods that make them feel good about themselves that don't feed the negativity.
_____________________________
God took my deficits and made them my offering.
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RE: Why cannot I be free from insecurity? - 11/14/2008 11:05:17 AM
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sparkleingsnow
Posts: 3861
Joined: 1/9/2007
Status: offline
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quote:
Original: sunshine4God
Thanks so much for your encouragement,I sure don't feel perfect or see myself the way you do.If God made me perfect just as I am than why do I struggle with the same stuff over and over again? I talked to my friend today and she says the way I bug her about things and am insecure with her,It makes her feel smothered and annoyed.She says she has already proven her friendship to me,and doesn't get why I can just accept that.She says by continually nagging her it will push her away. Thanks for your advice,Love always Sunshine.
Sunshine, you've been on my heart. I think partly because I see a little of myself in you. When I was a teen and young adult, I don't think you could have found anyone with less self-esteem than myself. I could have given you a whole list of all the things that were wrong with me and why I wasn't as good as everyone else, and never could be.
You said you don't see yourself as I see you. (I see a kind and loving and gentle human being. Someone who is caring to others. Someone who can see God's goodness in even the little things.) May I suggest that you also don't see yourself as God see's you.
We each see our own faults and short comings. And some of us kick ourselfs for them a lot harder than others. But the truth is that the Lord loved us enough to make each of us different. Each with our own strong points and our own weak points. Perhaps the Lord gives us what we see a flaws so we will trust Him more. Perhaps so we will be more kind and understanding towards others. I don't know, but I do know that He gave us our weaknesses as well as our strengths, and He did so for a purpose. And He can use them to bring glory to Himself.
When I was the young divorced mother of three, I felt so bad about myself that if you spoke to me, I would look down as I responed to you. I wouldn't even look up and make eye contact. The Lord brought me from that point to where I can see my strong points and I can use them to His glory. Who would have thought that, that painfully shy girl could stand up in front of a group of people and lead VBS? And feel very good while doing it! I still have my weak points, but who cares. I am a child of God and He loves me. He made me!
I'm sharing this with you because He made you too. Your good points and Your bad. And He can use both to bring about His purpose in your life. He loves you so and you are so precious to Him. You have to know that not only in your head, but in your heart. So learn to accept your short comings as part of the wonderful person who you are, and learn to love yourself. Because He loves you. And He made you!
God bless.
_____________________________
Bless the Lord, O my soul: and all that is
within me, bless his holy name.
Psalm 103:1
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RE: Why cannot I be free from insecurity? - 11/14/2008 12:34:51 PM
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sunshine4God
Posts: 7364
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Sterling Ct.
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: deermousie
. You are standing back and looking at yourself and wondering why some things are; that's called "metacognition" and is a high function of the mind.
Thanks,I love learning new words.That is really interesting.
_____________________________
Matthew 5:16.
"Let your light so shine before men that they will see
your good deeds and glorify your Lord".
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RE: Why cannot I be free from insecurity? - 11/14/2008 1:01:03 PM
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manda59
Posts: 6187
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: sunshine4God
quote:
ORIGINAL: deermousie
. You are standing back and looking at yourself and wondering why some things are; that's called "metacognition" and is a high function of the mind.
Thanks,I love learning new words.That is really interesting.
Me too - and I'd never heard of that word before either!! lol
_____________________________
"Manda is right"
mvic, January 2009
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RE: Why cannot I be free from insecurity? - 11/14/2008 6:50:52 PM
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sunshine4God
Posts: 7364
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Sterling Ct.
Status: offline
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[quote:
When your mind listens to the old voices of those children, you're giving the power to them (or the memory of them). When your mind craves the attention of your friend, you're trying to give her the power over you. It's time to learn to take the power back, to not let other people's views of you affect your life, especially as they're so long ago in the past, and to no longer try to make someone else responsible for you.
You are responsible for yourself, and fully capable of taking care of yourself. You have the power!!
Thats very interesting what you said.I never really thought of this being a power thing.You're right that I do have the power over it all.I just need to learn to take control of my own life I guess.
_____________________________
Matthew 5:16.
"Let your light so shine before men that they will see
your good deeds and glorify your Lord".
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RE: Why cannot I be free from insecurity? - 11/14/2008 6:53:51 PM
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sunshine4God
Posts: 7364
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Sterling Ct.
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Cloak
(((Sunshine)))
I know how you feel. As a kid, I was always teased of being slow.
Ironically, I have become a fast-paced person now that I ask God all the time to slow me down.
Isn't that funny!!!
Joyce Meyer wrote a wonderful book that would help you to combat those negative feelings you've had as well as the verbal abuse by those kids. The book entitled "Battlefield of the mind," although, I admit I did not read that book; however, I've heard that it was a best-seller that helped millions and millions of people.
(((Sunshine4God))) I honestly find you a wonderful sweet and smart young lady. If we just remember that the world is filled with unfair and cruel people and situations, our resentment would diminish.
Keeping you in my prayers!!!
Thanks so much.I think you are an awesome person also and very encouraging.I never would have guessed people called you slow.I have that book by Joyce Meyer(Battlefield of the mind) and it has helped me out alot. However no book or anything can really set me free.I gotta depend on God for that and need to learn to depend on him more.Thanks so much and God bless you always.
_____________________________
Matthew 5:16.
"Let your light so shine before men that they will see
your good deeds and glorify your Lord".
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RE: Why cannot I be free from insecurity? - 11/14/2008 7:00:23 PM
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sunshine4God
Posts: 7364
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Sterling Ct.
Status: offline
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[
quote:
Sunshine, you've been on my heart. I think partly because I see a little of myself in you. When I was a teen and young adult, I don't think you could have found anyone with less self-esteem than myself. I could have given you a whole list of all the things that were wrong with me and why I wasn't as good as everyone else, and never could be.
You said you don't see yourself as I see you. (I see a kind and loving and gentle human being. Someone who is caring to others. Someone who can see God's goodness in even the little things.) May I suggest that you also don't see yourself as God see's you.
We each see our own faults and short comings. And some of us kick ourselfs for them a lot harder than others. But the truth is that the Lord loved us enough to make each of us different. Each with our own strong points and our own weak points. Perhaps the Lord gives us what we see a flaws so we will trust Him more. Perhaps so we will be more kind and understanding towards others. I don't know, but I do know that He gave us our weaknesses as well as our strengths, and He did so for a purpose. And He can use them to bring glory to Himself.
When I was the young divorced mother of three, I felt so bad about myself that if you spoke to me, I would look down as I responed to you. I wouldn't even look up and make eye contact. The Lord brought me from that point to where I can see my strong points and I can use them to His glory. Who would have thought that, that painfully shy girl could stand up in front of a group of people and lead VBS? And feel very good while doing it! I still have my weak points, but who cares. I am a child of God and He loves me. He made me!
I'm sharing this with you because He made you too. Your good points and Your bad. And He can use both to bring about His purpose in your life. He loves you so and you are so precious to Him. You have to know that not only in your head, but in your heart. So learn to accept your short comings as part of the wonderful person who you are, and learn to love yourself. Because He loves you. And He made you!
God bless.
_____________________________
Bless the Lord, O my soul: and all that is
Thanks so much.You sure don't seem like you're lacking in self esteem and seem so strong inside.You are right about me not seeing myself the way God does,or others do.I even find myself wondering at times why God chooses to love and accept me.I wonder why my friends don't just give up on me also sometimes.I know God made me who I am for a reason,and have come a long way actually.I used to be so shy I would never talk to anyone but now will talk to anyone.People tell me to be quiet alot of times actually lol. I just need to keep praying and trusting that God will set me free from my insecure feelings in his time,and rely on him I guess.Thanks so much and May God bless you always.Love Sunshine.
_____________________________
Matthew 5:16.
"Let your light so shine before men that they will see
your good deeds and glorify your Lord".
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RE: Why cannot I be free from insecurity? - 11/14/2008 7:02:20 PM
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sunshine4God
Posts: 7364
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Sterling Ct.
Status: offline
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[
quote:
Hugs to you, dear one. Rejoice as you take on your day - God loves you and so do the people on this thread, including me.
God loves you too and I am amazed at how many people have shown me that they care on here also.I never would have thought so many people would respond to me.Thank you all so much and God bless you all.
_____________________________
Matthew 5:16.
"Let your light so shine before men that they will see
your good deeds and glorify your Lord".
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RE: Why cannot I be free from insecurity? - 11/14/2008 7:34:00 PM
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manda59
Posts: 6187
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
Status: offline
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sunshine,
If it's ok to ask, I was wondering what you've done since you left high school. Have you been to college at all, done any further education? Have you worked at all?
_____________________________
"Manda is right"
mvic, January 2009
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RE: Why cannot I be free from insecurity? - 11/14/2008 9:01:10 PM
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sunshine4God
Posts: 7364
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Sterling Ct.
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: manda59
sunshine,
If it's ok to ask, I was wondering what you've done since you left high school. Have you been to college at all, done any further education? Have you worked at all?
I have worked in the past when I got help from a program to get a job.After getting fired from a few jobs though the program quit working with me.That is why I went on ssi and am not working now.I am trying to find volunteer work but it seems as if I'm getting nowhere finding it.Oh well.Maybe when my friend starts her new job she will need me to babysit more.You never know.I don't mind you asking about things at all.
_____________________________
Matthew 5:16.
"Let your light so shine before men that they will see
your good deeds and glorify your Lord".
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RE: Why cannot I be free from insecurity? - 11/15/2008 12:25:42 AM
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Roberta_
Posts: 7427
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: East Bay Area
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: manda59
quote:
ORIGINAL: sunshine4God
quote:
ORIGINAL: deermousie
. You are standing back and looking at yourself and wondering why some things are; that's called "metacognition" and is a high function of the mind.
Thanks,I love learning new words.That is really interesting.
Me too - and I'd never heard of that word before either!! lol
I don't think I've heard it before either.
Sunshine, when you attempt to volunteer do you use a company to volunteer through or just do it on your own?
_____________________________
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RE: Why cannot I be free from insecurity? - 11/15/2008 6:50:21 AM
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manda59
Posts: 6187
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: sunshine4God
I have worked in the past when I got help from a program to get a job.
What kind of work did you do?
quote:
After getting fired from a few jobs though the program quit working with me.
How disappointing and disheartening (on both counts). For what kind of reasons were you fired?
quote:
That is why I went on ssi and am not working now.
Are there any college courses locally for adults? I was thinking that maybe something in arts and crafts or creative writing might interest you.
quote:
I am trying to find volunteer work but it seems as if I'm getting nowhere finding it.
Are there any old folks' homes in your town? Maybe your pastor could help you find something? Do they need any help cleaning the church and keeping it nice? I know we have a team of ladies (and retired gents) at our place that do that.
_____________________________
"Manda is right"
mvic, January 2009
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RE: Why cannot I be free from insecurity? - 11/15/2008 11:27:58 PM
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sunshine4God
Posts: 7364
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Sterling Ct.
Status: offline
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[What kind of work did you do?
quote:
grocery store packaging in the bakery,working in a frozen food place,helping out at a daycare.
How disappointing and disheartening (on both counts). For what kind of reasons were you fired?
quote:
I had trouble getting along with the people I worked with and they pretty much got me fired.
Are there any college courses locally for adults? I was thinking that maybe something in arts and crafts or creative writing might interest you.
quote:
Not that I know of but thanks for the suggestion.
Are there any old folks' homes in your town? Maybe your pastor could help you find something? Do they need any help cleaning the church and keeping it nice? I know we have a team of ladies (and retired gents) at our place that do that.
Hmm,Maybe I will check into this.
_____________________________
Matthew 5:16.
"Let your light so shine before men that they will see
your good deeds and glorify your Lord".
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RE: Why cannot I be free from insecurity? - 11/17/2008 9:10:17 PM
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thebigfishstory
Posts: 29
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline
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I don't understand what your question is exactly.
Insecurity can be based on so many factors. Like maybe you are not sure God loves you, or maybe you are unsure of your own abilities or maybe you feel anxious or worried for no reason. Without knowing exactly what area of insecurity you are dealing with, I can't offer much help.
Here is a story of a man. He went into an apartment complex with three people who he thought were his friends. One of the guys with him went into an apartment on the first floor. The other two forgot their jackets and went back out and got in their cars. The fourth man followed the man into his apartment and began to help the man with his laundry. By the time the other three guys got up to the apartment, there was a baseball game on and the two guys doing laundry we watching the baseball game and having a bit of pop and cake. So, the moral of the story is that the three guys who were late missed their chance to bless their friend, so now all they get is the "afterglow" which means they walked in on two guys watching baseball, but instead of getting to do the hard chore with them and struggle a little, and then feel the comraderie of sitting down to relax after a struggle, they just got to realize that they were late in helping out.
I guess I am not sure why I posted this little story other than to try to express a complex human emotion that doesn't really have a name.
So, the moral of the story is try hard to be secure with your relationship with God first!
And so, everything else is really just the details. Hope this helps!
< Message edited by thebigfishstory -- 11/17/2008 9:18:49 PM >
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