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RE: Why so many support threads??? - 10/5/2008 5:47:17 PM
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Sideways
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quote:
ORIGINAL: nicole6598
Clag you have a good point there. I think everyone implying and jumping to conclusions is what is wrong. Everyone is assuming that Manda and Jae created their forums in retaliation when they didn't
Exactly. They might've been inspired by other threads, but that does not equate to retaliation. Threads are inspired by other threads ALL THE TIME.
Look at what Sarah did (Peculiar Lady). She didn't like all the negativity in the thread discussing the Duggar reality TV show, so she started her own thread where the OP explicitly states that this thread is for positive comments only. Nobody jumped all over her, and neither should they. It was a totally reasonable course of action.
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RE: Why so many support threads??? - 10/5/2008 5:49:36 PM
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LaurainAL
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I wasn't referring to anyone in particular clag4christ. It was a general observation.
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RE: Why so many support threads??? - 10/5/2008 5:49:39 PM
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Sideways
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quote:
ORIGINAL: clag4christ
I have problems with CIO and some forms of controlled crying...but that's why I've not gone in there. Of what support or encouragement could I offer?
Exactly! Thank you, Kim. That's all anyone asks. If you can't offer support or encouragement for a thread with that explicit title, then don't go in there.
I appreciate your restraint, and I'm not being sarcastic when I say that.
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RE: Why so many support threads??? - 10/5/2008 5:50:32 PM
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nicole6598
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quote:
ORIGINAL: phosadaud
I'm not a parent but I'm going to jump in here. I get tired of folks saying, "if you don't like a thread, you don't have to read it or post in it" when it's one of their "pet threads", but turn around and gripe about someone starting a thread that is from a different viewpoint and whine about it. Sorry, but if you don't like the fact that some are hurt by having to defend their parenting style and need a place away from that, get over it and stop judging their motives.
And for the record, I've read through the CC thread and the AP thread and they both seem the same to me. Some folks vent about how others judge their parenting (in AP AND CC) but most of the posting is about helping parents with techniques and such so I'm not sure why some are so bent out of shape over the CC thread. The only real difference was when someone came into the CC thread and in a non-TOS way basically accused CC parents of being abusive and folks reacted to that (which all I can say for those who seem surprised by that reaction: Duh!  )
Sorry, but sometimes it's like junior high in here... 
Totally agree!!
As if going into the CC thread and saying that was right either... noone has done that to the AP, and the majority of posts in CC have been in SUPPORT and advice, tips about that...
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RE: Why so many support threads??? - 10/5/2008 5:51:46 PM
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nicole6598
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Sideways
quote:
ORIGINAL: clag4christ
I have problems with CIO and some forms of controlled crying...but that's why I've not gone in there. Of what support or encouragement could I offer?
Exactly! Thank you, Kim. That's all anyone asks. If you can't offer support or encouragement for a thread with that explicit title, then don't go in there.
I appreciate your restraint, and I'm not being sarcastic when I say that.
HERE HERE!!! 
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RE: Why so many support threads??? - 10/5/2008 5:51:47 PM
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ladyingrace1979
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Is it possible that some of the motives are just to be with like-minded people? I frequent the special needs support thread because raising a child with special needs is challenging to say the least. I often tire of explaining our situation and the feelings associated with it. Often well meaning people will say things that are hurtful. So I go in there and they "get it". If I went to the AP thread I wouldn't understand a lot of that and might offend unintentionally.
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RE: Why so many support threads??? - 10/5/2008 5:55:20 PM
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Consecrated2God
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I'm not sure why people even read the threads that they can't post in. If you can't post, why read? If you don't read, you won't feel like it's necessary to respond to something you read.
quote:
Is it possible that some of the motives are just to be with like-minded people? I frequent the special needs support thread because raising a child with special needs is challenging to say the least. I often tire of explaining our situation and the feelings associated with it. Often well meaning people will say things that are hurtful. So I go in there and they "get it". If I went to the AP thread I wouldn't understand a lot of that and might offend unintentionally.
Usually those are the motives. Raising a special needs child is a legitimate support thread. Now, if I started a "Non-Special Needs Support Thread", wouldn't you wonder what exactly I needed support for?
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RE: Why so many support threads??? - 10/5/2008 5:57:12 PM
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nicole6598
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Alot of this was going on in the baby chat thread though...It wasn't like Janine read Ryanne's and then posted. This has been happening over and over again in the baby chat threads where one group will disagree with what a parent is doing and give "research" and papers on why its so wrong and bad and how "their" way of doing it is better..
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RE: Why so many support threads??? - 10/5/2008 5:58:49 PM
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phosadaud
Posts: 10624
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Consecrated2God
Usually those are the motives. Raising a special needs child is a legitimate support thread. Now, if I started a "Non-Special Needs Support Thread", wouldn't you wonder what exactly I needed support for?
Do you believe then that only AP parents need support?
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RE: Why so many support threads??? - 10/5/2008 6:03:03 PM
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Consecrated2God
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Isn't AP a particular style of parenting? (I don't read those threads, so I'm fuzzy on what they even are!) Isn't there books and websites telling you exactly how to do it? I can see why they started a thread--they were interested in the how-to part, not the debate side.
From what I've seen of the Detachment parenting, it doesn't seem to be about a parenting style, but about not doing AP. Why do you needs tips on not doing something? I could be wrong--there could actually be a style of parenting called Detachment Parenting that has its own website or book, but even if there was, I didn't see (I did look at this one out of curiosity) anywhere where anyone was giving any practical advice or tips on how to execute this parenting technique.
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RE: Why so many support threads??? - 10/5/2008 6:04:24 PM
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Jenny-Fair
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I just keep thinking that if the men had threads entitled:
Blue-collar working men's support
White-collar working men's support
Men married to pregnant women support
Men married to infertile women support
Men who work at home
Men who don't work at home
Married men support
UNmarried men support
Etc...we'd all think they were nuts.
This morning in sunday school we were going over biblical commands trying to figure out which were applicable and which weren't. We happened upon the command that women should keep their mouths shut in church, and I am seeing why that is. Not that we want to be men instead of women, but there is something about women that tends towards the kind of pettiness we are seeing.
Honestly, I think if all the chat and support threads were done away with for the month and women just talked together and kept things positive you all might be better off. Dividing into camps is not helping anyone.
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RE: Why so many support threads??? - 10/5/2008 6:05:07 PM
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phosadaud
Posts: 10624
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From: Washington State
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Consecrated2God
I'm not sure why people even read the threads that they can't post in. If you can't post, why read? If you don't read, you won't feel like it's necessary to respond to something you read.
I'll answer this because I do read some threads I can't post in. I am someone who likes to know where people are coming from, how they think, how they came to believe what they do. It's by doing that, that I learn and can appreciate and respect other points of view. Reading these other threads has actually made me a lot more tolerant of differences and to realize that most of what we get our panties in a twist over is really dumb.
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Resume Quotations: "I worked as a Corporate Lesion."
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RE: Why so many support threads??? - 10/5/2008 6:05:41 PM
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manda59
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From: Hampshire, UK
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Consecrated2God
quote:
How do you even know the other threads were to refute the AP one?
I know Manda's was, because she said it was.
It was not to refute the thread but to pass comment on the choice of word used for that style of parenting.
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RE: Why so many support threads??? - 10/5/2008 6:06:22 PM
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Consecrated2God
Posts: 4986
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quote:
So even though I do believe in it somewhat, if I go there I will be seen as being in opposition to it when I am not.
I think that's one of the side effects of splitting off into all these little exclusive club houses. There are a lot of us here that don't really fit in either place and feel left out. I honestly couldn't say if I was an attachment parent or a detachment one. I was just a parent. I loved my babies and parented them the best I knew how.
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RE: Why so many support threads??? - 10/5/2008 6:08:16 PM
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lexie
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From: Toronto
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quote:
I'm not sure why people even read the threads that they can't post in. If you can't post, why read? If you don't read, you won't feel like it's necessary to respond to something you read.
Sometimes people are interested in the subject even if it doesn't affect their lives directly.
As for the detached parenting thread...I have in real life been scorned for not picking my baby up as soon as she cried and instead let her fuss herself to sleep. I was treated as "here we thought your baby was so well-adjusted and now we find out you're doing this" and for a while I was treated differently. That was hurtful. It may not be a defined parenting style, but when you are doing things against the "style du jour" you like to talk with others of the same mind.
(By the way, I'm not saying that the AP is a fad, but at the playgroup this happened at, they tend to sway whichever way the latest study says rather than going by parenting according to your child.)
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RE: Why so many support threads??? - 10/5/2008 6:10:56 PM
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nicole6598
Posts: 4074
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Consecrated2God
Isn't AP a particular style of parenting? (I don't read those threads, so I'm fuzzy on what they even are!) Isn't there books and websites telling you exactly how to do it? I can see why they started a thread--they were interested in the how-to part, not the debate side.
From what I've seen of the Detachment parenting, it doesn't seem to be about a parenting style, but about not doing AP. Why do you needs tips on not doing something? I could be wrong--there could actually be a style of parenting called Detachment Parenting that has its own website or book, but even if there was, I didn't see (I did look at this one out of curiosity) anywhere where anyone was giving any practical advice or tips on how to execute this parenting technique.
Yes AP is a style, as is parents who don't do that is a style.
There are many books about raising your child in a non AP style type of way. Ezzo's, How to Have a New Kid by Friday etc
So parents DO need tips on how to do things in other ways. AP is not the be all and end all of parenting. There are other ways of parenting a child. That is what the CC thread is about, and I believe the DP thread is about.
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RE: Why so many support threads??? - 10/5/2008 6:11:10 PM
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lexie
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From: Toronto
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quote:
I honestly couldn't say if I was an attachment parent or a detachment one. I was just a parent. I loved my babies and parented them the best I knew how.
Which is why a few of us posted in both the attachment and detachment one. Many of us fall in the middle. But since we can't discuss how some methods work for us in one, we can go into the other and discuss that method without running into controversy. However, I don't think either thread really got far enough for that, they are really still only at the introduction phase.
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RE: Why so many support threads??? - 10/5/2008 6:13:25 PM
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Jenny-Fair
Posts: 6284
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From: WA
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quote:
Do we all need a support group?
I am just trying to figure out which folder my 'Over 30, divorced, brunette Irish-German-American mother with a prodigal son and a van that's about to break down Support Thread' should go.
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RE: Why so many support threads??? - 10/5/2008 6:16:08 PM
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nicole6598
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Kimmie who said we don't want advice from an experienced mum 
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