RE: Is it smart to date several woman at work (not at the same time)?
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RE: Is it smart to date several woman at work (not at t... - 10/6/2008 4:23:40 PM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
Posts: 26211
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Elena1030
But say... she works in a completely different division in the same company and your work itself does not cause you to cross paths or interact, then why not date her? That's a very good point.
I had been thinking on a much smaller scale in regards to the workplace.
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RE: Is it smart to date several woman at work (not at t... - 10/6/2008 6:55:13 PM
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willfs
Posts: 316
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quote:
ORIGINAL: buckifn
Most people don't get married and see themselves getting a divorce either, but it happens 50% or more of the time.
quote:
ORIGINAL: WhiteRoseBlessings
groups have the potential to put your job in jeopardy.
I figured that I was being told not to date because it would cause to much drama or it would be emotionally hard to work with someone. I didn't realize that you were saying I could get canned. How could I get fired talking to someone at work, or going out to eat with someone I work with or dating someone I work with? Some of these posts seem to be assuming I will make some extremely foolish choices. I have dated quite a bit and had a few relationships. All my dating/relationship experiences ended well where I still held great relationships with even the parents of those I had relationships with. I just don't see it in my character to cause me to do something while I dated that would lead to my termination. Are you saying that I can never tell what the woman will do? If so then what are the odds that a woman will be the type to try to get me fired if I break it off with her? Is that is? I appreciate those who see dangers in what I am doing but is there any way you could be more clear on what the dangers are? I guess there are plenty of people whose workplace dating ends up turning up the drama to a degree that they can get fired and/or disrupt the whole work environment. Does that mean I shouldn't date in work at all? Is there a way to avoid their mistakes?
quote:
ORIGINAL: raivyne
It seems like maybe you could be letting your impatience get the best of your judgment. I know what its like to be still single in your thirties, believe me!
Yeah, you are probably right in saying I am impatient. But if I find a girl who peaks my interest like it hasn't been peaked in a long time then why not see what happens. Couldn't I go about wisely? I mean just talk to her and then get to know her and then ask her out so on and see how things work out. I just don't see why this is bad, especially if it is with a temp worker who will be gone soon. My impatience in the past has caused me to date a woman too long when I probably should have broken things off sooner but I dont' even know if that is true. I don't know if I see where it can hurt me because we work together.
I am an extremely cautious guy any way and I have some high standards. Like I said in an earlier post. Nothing will probably happen. If anything I will talk to maybe a few of these girls, maybe only one of them. I will find that they are not Christians or they are too wild or they just arn't compatible... and I will move on.
I am not thinking of dating anyone that I come in contact with more than a couple times a week for short short periods of time if any at all. Its the type of thing where they could easily avoid me and vice versa.
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RE: Is it smart to date several woman at work (not at t... - 10/6/2008 9:41:23 PM
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Prairiehiker
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Dating several women from work at the same time? That's How You develop a reputation or being a player. If that's what You want, then go for it. Imagine, You ask one girl out. You had a great time. Girl 1 is so happy that she starts talking about it with her office mates. Then You asked Girl #2 out. She's talks about it too. How does that make Girl #1 feel? You don't think it's a big deal, so You ask her out again, then ask the girl #2 out again. Hmm...How long do You think this would last? I'm not saying they'd both like You. Maybe neither will like You. Maybe one will. But in my experience, I've seen people successfully date at work. Women talk. Especially about the men they go out with. If You're not afraid of that, then, nothing to worry.
Now, reverse the situation. You like this girl. She asks You out and You go out with her. Then, You find out the week after that she's dating another guy in the office. Hm mm....How would You feel. What would You think of her?
I really don't understand the idea of dating multiple people, let alone multiple people from the same office. There's just something so not "right" about that. I put the word right in quote because it's not about really right, but more like "acceptable behaviour" in an office environment.
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but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
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they will walk and not be faint....Isaiah 40: 31
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RE: Is it smart to date several woman at work (not at t... - 10/6/2008 10:24:42 PM
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prolifepj
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quote:
ORIGINAL: willfs
Is it smart to date several women at work (not at the same time)
Is this a trick question?
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RE: Is it smart to date several woman at work (not at t... - 10/7/2008 5:19:59 PM
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willfs
Posts: 316
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
Dating several women from work at the same time? That's How You develop a reputation or being a player.
Read my original post. I said "not at the same time".
quote:
ORIGINAL: prolifepj
Is this a trick question?
LOL (well actually I didn't laugh but snickered)
Some of my posts since the first one have talked about how likely it will be that I even go after any of them. I just found myself in a spot where I actually knew someone I wanted to ask out, and it seemed like the whole "when it rains, it pours" theme was true with my situation. I have never been one to date around a lot. I only knew of one guy who did that and it didn't back fire, from what I could see, but I can see how it easily could.
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RE: Is it smart to date several woman at work (not at t... - 10/7/2008 5:26:45 PM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
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quote:
ORIGINAL: willfs
quote:
ORIGINAL: WhiteRoseBlessings
groups have the potential to put your job in jeopardy.
I figured that I was being told not to date because it would cause to much drama or it would be emotionally hard to work with someone. I didn't realize that you were saying I could get canned. How could I get fired talking to someone at work, or going out to eat with someone I work with or dating someone I work with?
It could be against company policy.
And even if it's not, it could affect one (or both) of your job performances . . . either during the relationship, or afterwards.
They are myriad other reasons, but I'll leave my answer at those two.
quote:
ORIGINAL: willfs
quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
Dating several women from work at the same time? That's How You develop a reputation or being a player.
Read my original post. I said "not at the same time". That doesn't matter; not in regards to being perceived as a player. Dating several women from work, even "not at the same time", could turn out to be as detrimental as doing so simultaneously.
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RE: Is it smart to date several woman at work (not at t... - 10/7/2008 8:38:40 PM
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willfs
Posts: 316
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quote:
ORIGINAL: WhiteRoseBlessings
It could be against company policy.
If that were true... do you really think I would be asking this question?
The posibility that I will be looked on as a player (if I date more than one girl) or I could hurt someone or that it could cause things to be uncomfortable in work are good points. But I don't see how dating any of them would definitely cause me to suffer in my work preformance. It could. But I have more than one relationship in the past. I dated someone I went to school with and had to be around them all the time, even after a heart breaking break up. I know what the risks are. I rarely pass these woman in the hall and rarely interact with them, if ever. The one I am most seriously thinking of dating will be gone soon.
I think there are plenty of possible negatives about dating at work. I appreciate you and everyone else pointing them out. I think those risks make it important that one think twice about dating at the workplace and they proceed cautiously if they decide to do so. But I dont see how they should keep someone from ever considering dating in the workplace.
Prairie's point about how I would feel if I was on the recieving end of someone who dated around makes me think twice about even considering this. I haven't done anything close to this before but it was something I wanted to hear discussion on.
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RE: Is it smart to date several woman at work (not at t... - 10/8/2008 6:22:09 PM
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willfs
Posts: 316
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quote:
ORIGINAL: HenriettasCat
you sound like a kid in a candy store and it actually comes across a little immature. Take your time and try to see them as...I dunno...potential friends first.
Yeah, thanks hotsauce and Henrietta. It doesn't sound good. And I am probably acting like a kid in a candy store, although I will say that I actually stayed away from all of those wo..... I mean I stayed away from all of the young ladies I have been interested in today.
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RE: Is it smart to date several woman at work (not at t... - 10/9/2008 1:33:49 AM
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levimichal
Posts: 38
Joined: 10/9/2008
From: Christiansted, Virgin Islands live in Minneapolis
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One should not get involved with anyone unless ready for marriage. In all that one does one should seek wisdom from God in the bible, through prayer, and speaking to Godly people. Fantasizing not lust should enter the equation. Dating for what purpose?
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RE: Is it smart to date several woman at work (not at t... - 10/9/2008 1:25:43 PM
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preserved
Posts: 778
Joined: 6/12/2007
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My recommendation is to only seek one out of the women that you are referring to...The temp sounds like you the most interested in...and also because she is a temp. If you start dating the others..you will be setting a reputation that you may regret later. Dating from within the same place of employment is a bit too close and can cause problems..unless both parties are secured within themselves and to each other...
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