RE: How can you sign a pre-nup & act in faith at the same time?
View related threads:
(in this forum
| in all forums)
|
Logged in as: Guest
|
|
Users viewing this topic:
none
|
|
Login  | |
|
RE: How can you sign a pre-nup & act in faith at the sa... - 10/2/2008 4:07:32 PM
|
|
|
crankius
Posts: 4467
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
|
quote:
What if it's the woman that wants the prenup? Does that change anything for anyone? Just wondering.
Sudden
No, it doesn't change it for me.
These are my first thoughts on this. Marriage is a covenant with my husband and God. Just as I can't imagine giving God a pre-nup, I also couldn't give one to my husband, and I wouldn't sign one.
The marriage covenant with my husband is this: we are one, in every sense of the word, with God as our head. It doesn't speak well of being one if I have a contract keeping certain things out of our marriage.
_____________________________
Do not be overly righteous, Nor be overly wise: Why should you destroy yourself?
Ecclesiastes 7:16
SYSTEMATIC THEOLOGY
|
|
|
|
|
RE: How can you sign a pre-nup & act in faith at the sa... - 10/2/2008 4:12:02 PM
|
|
|
Jenny-Fair
Posts: 6284
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: WA
Status: offline
|
Me, either.
_____________________________
Tony: Ziva, did you kill Houdini?
Ziva: It is possible. I do not remember all their names.
My Blog
|
|
|
|
|
RE: How can you sign a pre-nup & act in faith at the sa... - 10/2/2008 4:20:37 PM
|
|
|
Child4Jesus
Posts: 459
Joined: 5/24/2005
From: Long Island, Nassau, Elmont, NY
Status: offline
|
As a Christian Man I would never ask a Christian Woman to sign a pre-nup. That is basically saying I don't trust you, the things I have before we married are mine and mine alone (It's God's stuff isn't it) and you can't have it. It is also saying that I don't believe the marriage is going to last, we will eventually get divorced and I have to protect my stuff.
If a woman asked me to sign a pre-nup I would ask her what she has been smoking.
_____________________________
In Christ,
Richad
The greatest heresy to American Christianity is that if you ask Jesus to come into your heart, he definitely will.
Paul Washer
|
|
|
|
|
RE: How can you sign a pre-nup & act in faith at the sa... - 10/2/2008 4:25:33 PM
|
|
|
hotsaucygma
Posts: 2982
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
|
Nope, doesn't matter who is asking for one, it signals a lack of faith in the marriage and trust in the other person.
Now, as a divorced person, if I ever wanted to marry again I would want wills drawn up indicating who we wanted to have what in case one or both of us should die. There are certain family things I would want my children to have if they wanted them and would assume there might be things my future husband would want his children to have as well, maybe some type of financial inheritance to go to them as well- whatever we agreed on as a couple. Planning for death makes sense- we are going to die, no getting around that one! As for divorce, well as I said I am divorced now but hopefully I would make a better decision the next time (if I ever did a next time), but even so after 29 years of marriage the first time I didn't think money or things were worth fighting over, don't know why I'd change now.
_____________________________
Dear Lord, let my words today be as sweet and delicious as cheesecake... for tomorrow I may have to eat them!
|
|
|
|
|
RE: How can you sign a pre-nup & act in faith at the sa... - 10/2/2008 4:32:54 PM
|
|
|
HisCovenant
Posts: 4291
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: DaveW
quote:
ORIGINAL: HisCovenant
For me, it'd be a deal breaker because it would indicate issues in either myself or the spouse-to-be. If a prenup was required, it would tell me that either I wasn't trusted, he had trust issues, or both. Those things would be much more important to me to fix than the issue of the prenup. To my mind, the prenup is a symptom of a greater issue that will affect much more than a couple's finances. Would it be a deal breaker if he was a part owner of a family business and the rest of the owners did not want any of the company ownership to leave the family in the event of a divorce or his death required a pre-nup?
Yes... if a family is unaccepting and untrusting that is an indication of larger root issues as well. Why does the family object? Is there some reason I'm not aware of (or lying to myself about) that the relationship isn't healthy? Is it something I need to work on before marriage or something I don't want to marry into? I just think it's better to wait for a match where you can trust with your eyes open than to sign a prenup.
_____________________________
-HisCovenant/ Zipporah
My friends call me Zippy!
|
|
|
|
|
RE: How can you sign a pre-nup & act in faith at the sa... - 10/2/2008 4:39:17 PM
|
|
|
raivyne
Posts: 899
Joined: 8/28/2008
Status: online
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: sudden
What if it's the woman that wants the prenup? Does that change anything for anyone? Just wondering.
Sudden
I would hope so. I would never ask a man to sign a prenup, and I would probably be offended if asked to sign one myself.
_____________________________
God grades on the cross – not on a curve
Good – God = 0
In the dark? Follow the Son!
The Power of a Simple Gift! samaritanspurse.org
|
|
|
|
|
RE: How can you sign a pre-nup & act in faith at the sa... - 10/2/2008 4:40:09 PM
|
|
|
HisCovenant
Posts: 4291
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
|
Oh, and I forgot to remark that gender makes no difference to me.
_____________________________
-HisCovenant/ Zipporah
My friends call me Zippy!
|
|
|
|
|
RE: How can you sign a pre-nup & act in faith at the sa... - 10/2/2008 7:23:49 PM
|
|
|
creationtalk
Posts: 700
Joined: 6/9/2005
Status: offline
|
In some states, you can get a pre-nup but it really doesn't mean anything at all. A judge is not bound by it, nor are the parties, though it can show "intent"
I'm a single mom with a small child. I've worked hard, saved and have some assets that I want to pass on to my son. If I were to marry again, presumably it would be to a person who also has children from a previous relationship. I would want a prenup because I want my child/children to benefit from what I gained prior to the marriage. I would also expect my partner to have a will/prenup leaving his pre-marriage estate to his heirs, whom ever he may choose. Anything gained during marriage I would want to go equally to all children/heirs involved.
I've seen too many cases where someone who had considerable assets married someone without who insisted in buying a new house, cars, etc...then when everything was jointly owned, divorced and gained half what the other had worked years to gain. I think that in many circumstances a pre-nup might be wise stewardship--"be wise as serpents and harmless as doves"
|
|
|
|
|
RE: How can you sign a pre-nup & act in faith at the sa... - 10/2/2008 9:56:25 PM
|
|
|
Focusing
Posts: 6019
Status: offline
|
quote:
What if it's the woman that wants the prenup? Does that change anything for anyone? Just wondering.
No.
_____________________________
There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven
|
|
|
|
|
RE: How can you sign a pre-nup & act in faith at the sa... - 10/2/2008 11:04:30 PM
|
|
|
jaimestarcross
Posts: 779
Joined: 11/28/2005
Status: offline
|
I think if two people are considering getting married -
they need to be walking in unity on important issues.
I do not believe in pressuring someone to sign a pre-nup!
A pre-nup shouldn't even be mentioned since - there's no children, wealth or family business... unless your boyfriend isn't telling you everything.
I also think it's more important for couples to get things in place like:
saving money for their wedding and a down payment for a house; life/health insurance etc.
*Always consult a lawyer or NOLO for what is allowable in your State concerning pre-nups.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: How can you sign a pre-nup & act in faith at the sa... - 10/3/2008 10:37:46 AM
|
|
|
ChelaW
Posts: 117
Joined: 7/30/2008
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: jaimestarcross
I think if two people are considering getting married -
they need to be walking in unity on important issues.
I do not believe in pressuring someone to sign a pre-nup!
A pre-nup shouldn't even be mentioned since - there's no children, wealth or family business... unless your boyfriend isn't telling you everything.
I also think it's more important for couples to get things in place like:
saving money for their wedding and a down payment for a house; life/health insurance etc.
*Always consult a lawyer or NOLO for what is allowable in your State concerning pre-nups.
Yeah, he doesn't have children, wealth or a family business. I have a 4-year-old child...I never married her father.
However, this man will be soon opening up his own insurance agency. He had it opened a couple years ago, but it didn't work out for whatever reason.
I think he's saying that by the time we actually get married, he'll have some sort of wealth from his business. I don't disagree with that. But in the meantime, he's struggling financially just like I am, and I am/will be trying to help him with my own education & knowledge to get his business up and running. I say that not to make an argument that I'll "deserve" some of the wealth, but that I'm CLEARLY not after his money.
But my main point is: how can you act in faith & sign a prenup? It's an oxymoron to me! We have put God in the center of our relationship, and would definitely have Him in our marriage, so there's no need to think "just in case it doesn't work out..." because if we have a covenant with God & each other, it WILL work out. There will be hard times, of course, but it WILL work.
Am I wrong or even naive in this thinking?
|
|
|
|
|
RE: How can you sign a pre-nup & act in faith at the sa... - 10/3/2008 11:33:08 AM
|
|
|
Focusing
Posts: 6019
Status: offline
|
It is an oxymoron.
What does he have to say as to his reasoning for believing a pre-nup is necessary? If he believes what's his is yours and what's yours is his ... and then says he wants you to sign a pre-nup ... he's contradicting himself. A pre-nup is saying, very clearly, what's mine is mine and you can't have any part of it.
_____________________________
There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven
|
|
|
|
|
RE: How can you sign a pre-nup & act in faith at the sa... - 10/3/2008 10:01:11 PM
|
|
|
justjennhere
Posts: 122
Joined: 10/10/2006
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: WhiteRoseBlessings
In the end, the step-children got the property. They got such property because very early on in our dating relationship, I gave my late husband my word that if he and I married each other and that if he died before me, then I would make sure that particular piece of property would, indeed, go to the step-children.
Wow. How sad that your step-children gave up their relationship with their father over this! Were they remorseful or at all apologetic when you followed through with his wishes? (And kudos to you for doing so, even though they clearly didn't deserve ANYTHING!)
quote:
ORIGINAL: raivyne
A prenup is an acknowledgement that the marriage might fail. How can a Godly marriage fail so long as both people remain vigilant in their faith and continue to put God first? I don't see how it can. I wouldn't even entertain the idea of a prenup, or the idea of marrying a man that wanted to have one!
Amen! I totally agree. A pre-nup assumes that divorce will be an option. And if you're thinking that way BEFORE you even get married... why exactly are you getting married?
|
|
|
|
|
RE: How can you sign a pre-nup & act in faith at the sa... - 10/4/2008 3:35:19 PM
|
|
|
jaimestarcross
Posts: 779
Joined: 11/28/2005
Status: offline
|
quote:
But my main point is: how can you act in faith & sign a prenup? It's an oxymoron to me! We have put God in the center of our relationship, and would definitely have Him in our marriage, so there's no need to think "just in case it doesn't work out..." because if we have a covenant with God & each other, it WILL work out. There will be hard times, of course, but it WILL work.
Am I wrong or even naive in this thinking?
*Like I said before you two need to be on the same page with important
decisions --- I wouldn't sign a pre-nup if I was against the idea - nor would I pressure someone to sign!
*Your fiance doesn't want to lose his future wealth/business should the marriage end.
Your fiance doesn't share your values/feelings about personal commitment/marriage when there's money/business at stake.... make sure this is the person you really want to marry... much less be in business with...
|
|
|
|
|
RE: How can you sign a pre-nup & act in faith at the sa... - 10/4/2008 5:09:42 PM
|
|
|
sudden
Posts: 166
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline
|
I am interested in which decade of your life you folks are in. I am in my fifth.
Sudden
_____________________________
I will lie down in rest and sleep and peace, for thou, O Lord, only makest me to dwell in safety.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: How can you sign a pre-nup & act in faith at the sa... - 10/4/2008 7:12:23 PM
|
|
|
DaveW
Posts: 4106
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: MD suburbs of Washington DC
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: Tashilein
Well don't you become part of the family when you marry your partner? Shouldn't you be considered family? Yes, until either death or divorce.quote:
How about any future children who might want to join the family business? If the family insists on a pre-nup... for me it would feel like I wouldn't be good enough for their son. I'm not saying I want to or need to be a part of the family business or be entitled for a part of the business.. And should he die before you have children, his share of the business becomes yours, and you can sell it to anyone on the open market.
There is no legal way to stop that from happening without a prenup that either says the shares go to the children or revert back to the rest of the family.
_____________________________
Avatar is Saphira 5 months and Louvena at 23 months!
We are now grandparents TWICE!!
====================================
Our CD is now available here:
http://cdbaby.com/cd/dswaggoner
|
|
|
|
|
RE: How can you sign a pre-nup & act in faith at the sa... - 10/4/2008 7:13:55 PM
|
|
|
Focusing
Posts: 6019
Status: offline
|
Yes - a will or to incorporate would take care of the business.
_____________________________
There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven
|
|
|
|
|
RE: How can you sign a pre-nup & act in faith at the sa... - 10/6/2008 6:50:19 AM
|
|
|
DaveW
Posts: 4106
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: MD suburbs of Washington DC
Status: offline
|
Incorporating does not help. That just changes the ownership to shares of stock that are actually more transferable than a limited partnership. Absolutely there are other good reasons for incorporation, but in this case, it does not help.
A will can be easily contested and broken. And anything that is considered mutual property (in most states that is everything w/o a prenup; and even includes prenup items in some states) automatically goes to the surviving spouse and does not get probated via the will.
_____________________________
Avatar is Saphira 5 months and Louvena at 23 months!
We are now grandparents TWICE!!
====================================
Our CD is now available here:
http://cdbaby.com/cd/dswaggoner
|
|
|
|
|
RE: How can you sign a pre-nup & act in faith at the sa... - 10/6/2008 9:29:48 AM
|
|
|
HisCovenant
Posts: 4291
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
|
A prenup can be "contested and broken," as well.
I'm in my third decade.
_____________________________
-HisCovenant/ Zipporah
My friends call me Zippy!
|
|
|
|
|
RE: How can you sign a pre-nup & act in faith at the sa... - 10/6/2008 9:36:39 AM
|
|
|
raivyne
Posts: 899
Joined: 8/28/2008
Status: online
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: sudden
I am interested in which decade of your life you folks are in. I am in my fifth.
Sudden
3rd
_____________________________
God grades on the cross – not on a curve
Good – God = 0
In the dark? Follow the Son!
The Power of a Simple Gift! samaritanspurse.org
|
|
|
|
|
RE: How can you sign a pre-nup & act in faith at the sa... - 10/6/2008 9:47:17 AM
|
|
|
hotsaucygma
Posts: 2982
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
|
Fifth decade.
I will say that I could understand the family business reason for one- if it was limited only to that I would probably sign one. Otherwise, no.
_____________________________
Dear Lord, let my words today be as sweet and delicious as cheesecake... for tomorrow I may have to eat them!
|
|
|
|
 New Messages |
 No New Messages |
 Hot Topic w/ New Messages |
 Hot Topic w/o New Messages |
 Locked w/ New Messages |
 Locked w/o New Messages |
|
 Post New Thread
Reply to Message
Post New Poll
Submit Vote
Delete My Own Post
Delete My Own Thread
Rate Posts |
|
|
Forum Tools
Printable Version
