Could you clarify something for me please? (Full Version)

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RubySparkles -> Could you clarify something for me please? (9/20/2008 3:58:03 PM)

I have a male friend I've known for about 3 years. I saw him today and as usual it was relaxed and we laughed at the same things.

He's always touching me.

At first it's gently leaning on me as we're walking down the street. Then it's playfully squeezing my upper arm. He'll do that several times. Today he added a kind of pinch/squeeze on my neck as we walked out of the supermarket and said, in a playful way, "you need a massage don't you?"

He is a single Christian. He has always called me more often than I call him (fairly regularly) and when we do see each other (which is only every couple of months) it's always one on one. However, he is much of a lone ranger. He sees other people for a purpose (like a pastor or someone who's helping him with his music) and, like me, he doesn't have much in the way of family.

Do you think I should read anything into his behaviour considering I'm probably his only real friend?



makarizo -> RE: Could you clarify something for me please? (9/20/2008 6:07:35 PM)

I am pretty sure that he is doing what he does because you are a safe person, & you are a real person to him.
if you have known him for a long time, there really is no need to read anything else into it, and if something is bothering you or if something suddenly doesn't feel right, give him the courtesy of telling him or asking him.



evryknee -> RE: Could you clarify something for me please? (9/23/2008 12:59:00 PM)

Is there another "purpose" for your relationship, or just friendship? To me, these are flirting signs. He's probably a "physical touch" kind of person (5 Love Languages), so the touching is guaging for your response. I could be wrong, but that's what it seems like.



RubySparkles -> RE: Could you clarify something for me please? (9/25/2008 5:40:41 PM)

We're friends and I can pretty much talk to him about anything. I can't say I haven't wondered about anything more because when you've been single for 11 years not wondering is difficult.



OneJohn410 -> RE: Could you clarify something for me please? (9/26/2008 12:13:21 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RubySparkles

I have a male friend I've known for about 3 years. I saw him today and as usual it was relaxed and we laughed at the same things.

He's always touching me.

At first it's gently leaning on me as we're walking down the street. Then it's playfully squeezing my upper arm. He'll do that several times. Today he added a kind of pinch/squeeze on my neck as we walked out of the supermarket and said, in a playful way, "you need a massage don't you?"

He is a single Christian. He has always called me more often than I call him (fairly regularly) and when we do see each other (which is only every couple of months) it's always one on one. However, he is much of a lone ranger. He sees other people for a purpose (like a pastor or someone who's helping him with his music) and, like me, he doesn't have much in the way of family.

Do you think I should read anything into his behaviour considering I'm probably his only real friend?

I would answer you, and yet would like just another detail or two.

Has he been Mr. Touch for the entire three years?
And this type of touching been consistent the entire time, or is it getting more and more 'insistent or controlling'?
Squeezing and pinching? Does this guy dream of opening a massage parlor some time, or is he taking a physiology class somewhere with hopes to learn about muscle groups and all?

Remember, this is your post, you need not tell me anything more than you already have.



RubySparkles -> RE: Could you clarify something for me please? (9/27/2008 4:54:50 PM)

Probably not the whole time I've known him, but more say over the last year and a half. Maybe because he's more comfortable with me. I've never though of it as controlling, more of either playing or wanting attention or security or something. I don't think he's into massage really or physiology!



OneJohn410 -> RE: Could you clarify something for me please? (9/28/2008 12:17:06 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: makarizo

I am pretty sure that he is doing what he does because you are a safe person, & you are a real person to him.
if you have known him for a long time, there really is no need to read anything else into it, and if something is bothering you or if something suddenly doesn't feel right, give him the courtesy of telling him or asking him.

Ruby,
I like what Makarizo wrote. It sounds to me like this guy is afraid to ask you out, or else he has an obsessive comulsive squeeze and pinch disorder (OCSPD- pronounced Awk-speed, I made that up). You may already be a 3rd level black belt, and could level this guy any time you wanted. If this is something kind of cutesy between you two when there's no one else around, that's different from looking like you are indifferent to it around the general public. Others could read that the wrong way, and you suddenly find yourself a squeeze- and pinch-'bag' toy for bad manners.

Sounds like love is in the air, if you ask me. Maybe the guy just needs to be asked if that's it, if that's all he's got to say... that the squeeze and pinch bit is getting a bit old. By all means, pray about it a good bit, consider giving yourself a break from it, and listen for some reply to your prayer.



iwillfearnoevil -> RE: Could you clarify something for me please? (9/29/2008 12:56:35 PM)

i agree with above, i think he might like you but be very shy and slow moving, if you like him or think you might, you might need to be a little bold ...



makarizo -> RE: Could you clarify something for me please? (9/30/2008 7:13:00 AM)

quote:

an obsessive comulsive squeeze and pinch disorder (OCSPD

good phrase -I am using it



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