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RE: Where did we get the idea... - 9/19/2008 5:19:46 PM
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Focusing
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Don't know about that ...
I do know a lot of people get swept up into those *emotions* because they feel *right* (i.e., they are right in comparison to what they see on the big screen or what they read in fictional books) without stopping to consider more important things ... some things that are brought up here in this thread.
Personally I do not believe in "the one".
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There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven
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RE: Where did we get the idea... - 9/19/2008 6:27:47 PM
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shemaromans
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quote:
ORIGINAL: iwillfearnoevil
quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
Don't know for sure. I know that by our choices we can miss what God has for us. But I can't say that every man who has not married and wants to has blown his choices. (I do know quite a number who have however)
i agree ... altho i believe there may be second (or third, etc) chances for any man or woman who blows their chance ... or even if someone blows it for them ...
I respectfully disagree.  I don't want to start a theological discussion on determinism/compatibilism/free will and hope that my opinion won't take this post off topic...
20 Now may the God of peace who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great shepherd of the sheep, by the blood of the eternal covenant, 21 equip you with everything good that you may do his will, working in us that which is pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen. (Hebrews 13:20-21)
12 Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, 13 for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure. (Philippians 2:12-13)
11 In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will, 12 so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory. (Ephesians 1:11-12)
20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. (Ephesians 3:20)
Now I realize that these passages do not speak specifically to marriage and finding a mate. However, we do see that it's the Holy Spirit that works within us to conform us to God's will. If God "has" someone for us (if it pleases Him according to His will), then He'll see to it we don't miss the opportunity. The Holy Spirit won't let us miss it.
If I'm understanding Joy correctly, then I think I agree with her analysis. God knows past, present, and future. He knows us, our needs, our strengths and weaknesses, our growth and regressions, our personal changes...and He knows who we will marry, if we do marry. He also knows better than we who that person should be (or persons due to various types of loss).
9 The heart of man plans his way,
but the LORD establishes his steps.
(Proverbs 16:9)
21 Many are the plans in the mind of a man,
but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand.
(Proverbs 19:21)
If it's God's will that we marry a certain person--whether we call that person "the one" or not--then it will be done. The Holy Spirit will work within us to accomplish His will. I don't think we can't miss what God "has" for us, otherwise He wouldn't "have" it for us.
As we read in Romans:
For I know the plans I have for you...
_____________________________
"But as for me, it is good to be near God." Psalm 73:28
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RE: Where did we get the idea... - 9/19/2008 7:16:46 PM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 2113
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quote:
As we read in Romans:
For I know the plans I have for you...
Could it be possible that what we interpret as God's plans, is so completely different from His plans? I mean, often times, Whenever we discuss God's plan, we quantify it in tems of something tangible, something material, something with earthly relevance--like finding a job, or getting married, or buying the right house. But is it possible that God's plan is to mold us into a person who will fall in love with God even more despite of what we think "god's will", "god's plans". Whenever I have discussion about this, I don't believe that for a second that I know where in God's priority list my wanting to get married would be. But I know it's in His list to bear fruit in me...like kindness, and joy, and peace....And if we are willing, meaning, we have surrendered our will to His, then, He'll see through it that those things happen, those fruits multiply, because those are His main will and whether we will get married or we will buy the perfect house or not is just secondary. Those are just tools to accomplish His ultimate will.
Shema, does that make any sense at all??? I know you and I somewhat think alike.
_____________________________
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint....Isaiah 40: 31
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RE: Where did we get the idea... - 9/19/2008 7:33:43 PM
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iwillfearnoevil
Posts: 4171
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From: upstate NY
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
Could it be possible that what we interpret as God's plans, is so completely different from His plans?
say God's intentional will for one's life might be that they are married (perhaps the reason so many people seem to be wired for marriage as john_o writes could be part of the proof for this hypothesis). for whatever one's situation, one is not. there could be a wide variety of reasons: death, divorce, sickness, etc in his circumstantional will, you are single. on the cross, Jesus overcome all these circumstances and through Him, we can too. God would not allow a circumstance in our life that would defeat his intentional will. in other words, life comes at us so that our plan usually doesn't come out how we envision it, but how God envisions it. thus there can not be only "one" with circumstances overcoming us.
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RE: Where did we get the idea... - 9/19/2008 7:42:39 PM
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iwillfearnoevil
Posts: 4171
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quote:
ORIGINAL: shemaromans
If it's God's will that we marry a certain person--whether we call that person "the one" or not--then it will be done. The Holy Spirit will work within us to accomplish His will. I don't think we can't miss what God "has" for us, otherwise He wouldn't "have" it for us.
He also knows better than we who that person should be (or persons due to various types of loss).
well that's the question of this thread - is there one person or not? you allow for more than one person mentioning various types of loss. how do you define types of loss? i certainly agree that God knows better than us who that person should be, although I believe he can reveal that to us so that we are on the same page.
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RE: Where did we get the idea... - 9/19/2008 7:53:41 PM
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Focusing
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quote:
As we read in Romans:
For I know the plans I have for you...
Jeremiah 29:11 ... I love that verse!
When I consider the phrase "the one", there are a lot of things that run through my mind. I thought the man I married was "the one". I do truly believe God desired me to be married to him, and to use the experiences I went through to help others. Ministering to others is so much more effective (imo) when we have been through an experience we are ministering to another about.
So when I see Jeremiah 29:11 ... I know the plans I have for you ... yes, He knew the plans He had for me when I believed with my heart that I was marrying "the one". God also knew what would happen through that relationship. So, while my ex was indeed "the one" ... he was "the one" for a season.
There is nothing permanent in this life. All we can do is speculate.
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There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven
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RE: Where did we get the idea... - 9/19/2008 7:55:57 PM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Focusing
There is nothing permanent in this life. I wrote this in another thread (different folder) the other day.
Sam, I very much agree with you, and I think that too often this important truth gets overlooked.
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RE: Where did we get the idea... - 9/19/2008 8:01:52 PM
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makarizo
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I find this principle in any marriage....: once you are married, he/she had better be the one!!
and whether "the one" label is used or not, if you don't keep God in the center of the marriage, if you don't work for the success of the marriage, if you don't love your spouse affectionately...... together as a team, not only are you headed for unhappy disaster, you are not doing God's will.
a single person boasting about "the one" is one thing, but a single person boasting that God told them..... sounds like a fairy tale from some romance novel.
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RE: Where did we get the idea... - 9/19/2008 8:02:59 PM
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Focusing
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quote:
ORIGINAL: WhiteRoseBlessings
quote:
ORIGINAL: Focusing
There is nothing permanent in this life. I wrote this in another thread (different folder) the other day.
Sam, I very much agree with you, and I think that too often this important truth gets overlooked.
Yes. I think we may have just shared a silent cry moment together. *sigh*
Someone at work was asking me about this just this morning. She was not aware. There are still a lot of emotions stirred up at times.
Just more stuff added to the plans He has for me.
God is really THE ONE for me, and if He chooses to give me someone here on earth to spend my human life with before I spend eternity with Him, I would be so blessed.
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There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven
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RE: Where did we get the idea... - 9/19/2008 8:06:38 PM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Focusing
God is really THE ONE for me, and if He chooses to give me someone here on earth to spend my human life with before I spend eternity with Him, I would be so blessed.
Most definitely; Amen!
And if I may, I also believe that if someone remains single, they, too, can also be greatly blessed.
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RE: Where did we get the idea... - 9/19/2008 9:49:42 PM
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John_O
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quote:
ORIGINAL: makarizo
I find this principle in any marriage....: once you are married, he/she had better be the one!!
and whether "the one" label is used or not, if you don't keep God in the center of the marriage, if you don't work for the success of the marriage, if you don't love your spouse affectionately...... together as a team, not only are you headed for unhappy disaster, you are not doing God's will.
I agree.
But according to some interpretations of scripture it doesn't matter whether you work at it or not. Whatever God programs for your life is what will happen. If God decides that you should have a marriage made in hell, then that's what happens. Nothing you do will or even can change it. We are no more than robots following our programming.
Seems to me if He wanted mindless puppets he would have created mindless puppets.
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: Where did we get the idea... - 9/19/2008 9:58:29 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
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I believe in God's soverignty, and in man's responsibility both---I just try not to think about both at the same time, just as I cannot look at two sides of a coin at the same time.
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"We basically use what I have seen referred to as "get off your butt" parenting. It employs more interaction, more redirection, more prevention, and usually less spanking."
-Mrs. Wifey
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RE: Where did we get the idea... - 9/19/2008 10:14:29 PM
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John_O
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quote:
ORIGINAL: OneOfHisJewels
I believe in God's soverignty, and in man's responsibility both---I just try not to think about both at the same time, just as I cannot look at two sides of a coin at the same time.
Exactly. The bible proclaims both as true so we know that both are in the works simultaneously
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Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: Where did we get the idea... - 9/19/2008 10:17:14 PM
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iwillfearnoevil
Posts: 4171
Joined: 11/6/2007
From: upstate NY
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quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
But according to some interpretations of scripture it doesn't matter whether you work at it or not. Whatever God programs for your life is what will happen. If God decides that you should have a marriage made in hell, then that's what happens. Nothing you do will or even can change it. We are no more than robots following our programming.
Seems to me if He wanted mindless puppets he would have created mindless puppets.
that is some messed up interpretation ... it just doesn't vibe with other scripture such as Jeremiah 29:11 that Focusing posted ...
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RE: Where did we get the idea... - 9/19/2008 10:18:44 PM
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makarizo
Posts: 2979
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quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
Seems to me if He wanted mindless puppets he would have created mindless puppets.
LOL, and one must wonder if this is what "created in His image" is all about.
I don't have a problem with the term "the one", I do have a little problem with the "God told me" part....... I think.......*God didn't tell you to help that person, God didn't tell you to walk with the old lady across the street", God didn't tell you to visit widows and orphans, God didn't tell you to Take care of your health, God didn't tell you to clean your language up, or forgive that person, to get involved at church, to sing in the choir, to volunteer at the homeless shelter, to share some possession, to stop smoking, to go to the hospital and pray for the sick, to, ......... and so on, but God DID tell you that so and so was the one......... okay, or perhaps it was the only one worth mentioning?
God actually "told" one of my best friends to move to Miami and take pictures of naked women.........
not kidding!!.... he said, it must be so!!!!
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RE: Where did we get the idea... - 9/19/2008 10:34:17 PM
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shemaromans
Posts: 3905
Joined: 3/30/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
quote:
As we read in Romans:
For I know the plans I have for you...
Could it be possible that what we interpret as God's plans, is so completely different from His plans? I mean, often times, Whenever we discuss God's plan, we quantify it in tems of something tangible, something material, something with earthly relevance--like finding a job, or getting married, or buying the right house. But is it possible that God's plan is to mold us into a person who will fall in love with God even more despite of what we think "god's will", "god's plans". Whenever I have discussion about this, I don't believe that for a second that I know where in God's priority list my wanting to get married would be. But I know it's in His list to bear fruit in me...like kindness, and joy, and peace....And if we are willing, meaning, we have surrendered our will to His, then, He'll see through it that those things happen, those fruits multiply, because those are His main will and whether we will get married or we will buy the perfect house or not is just secondary. Those are just tools to accomplish His ultimate will.
Shema, does that make any sense at all??? I know you and I somewhat think alike.
That does make sense, and I agree that God is more concerned with our fruit than with the particulars that develop that fruit. I also agree that God uses our life experiences to develop our fruit. At the same time, though, God knows the past, present, and future and he declares the end from the beginning (Is. 46:10). I don't know for certain how all of that works, but I do know that that's what the Bible says so I believe it.
What you wrote is similar to what Focusing wrote. God allows us to experience things that change us, teach us lessons, make us wiser, and also help us to minister to others. There's fruit production in those experiences. :)
_____________________________
"But as for me, it is good to be near God." Psalm 73:28
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RE: Where did we get the idea... - 9/19/2008 10:36:50 PM
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shemaromans
Posts: 3905
Joined: 3/30/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: iwillfearnoevil
quote:
ORIGINAL: shemaromans
If it's God's will that we marry a certain person--whether we call that person "the one" or not--then it will be done. The Holy Spirit will work within us to accomplish His will. I don't think we can't miss what God "has" for us, otherwise He wouldn't "have" it for us.
He also knows better than we who that person should be (or persons due to various types of loss).
well that's the question of this thread - is there one person or not? you allow for more than one person mentioning various types of loss. how do you define types of loss? i certainly agree that God knows better than us who that person should be, although I believe he can reveal that to us so that we are on the same page.
The two types of loss that immediately spring to mind are death and divorce. How do you define types of loss?
God definitely knows better than us. :)
_____________________________
"But as for me, it is good to be near God." Psalm 73:28
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RE: Where did we get the idea... - 9/19/2008 10:37:34 PM
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Focusing
Posts: 5989
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fruit production ... I love it
Yes, I am producing fruit on a regular basis!
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There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven
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RE: Where did we get the idea... - 9/19/2008 10:40:05 PM
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shemaromans
Posts: 3905
Joined: 3/30/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Focusing
quote:
As we read in Romans:
For I know the plans I have for you...
Jeremiah 29:11 ... I love that verse!
When I consider the phrase "the one", there are a lot of things that run through my mind. I thought the man I married was "the one". I do truly believe God desired me to be married to him, and to use the experiences I went through to help others. Ministering to others is so much more effective (imo) when we have been through an experience we are ministering to another about.
So when I see Jeremiah 29:11 ... I know the plans I have for you ... yes, He knew the plans He had for me when I believed with my heart that I was marrying "the one". God also knew what would happen through that relationship. So, while my ex was indeed "the one" ... he was "the one" for a season.
There is nothing permanent in this life. All we can do is speculate.
I agree with the majority of your post, which was well written, too. I disagree that all we can do is speculate, though. Some things are permanent--like our salvation, the word--but I don't think you were referring to those. :)
_____________________________
"But as for me, it is good to be near God." Psalm 73:28
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RE: Where did we get the idea... - 9/19/2008 10:42:53 PM
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shemaromans
Posts: 3905
Joined: 3/30/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: OneOfHisJewels
I believe in God's soverignty, and in man's responsibility both---I just try not to think about both at the same time, just as I cannot look at two sides of a coin at the same time.
You probably believe in compatibilism then, and it's actually possible to think of both of them at the same time. :)
And to make sure that this post is on topic, it's also possible to think of multiple wives (not at the same time!!) both as "the one." When John_O remarries, he will have two "the ones."
_____________________________
"But as for me, it is good to be near God." Psalm 73:28
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RE: Where did we get the idea... - 9/19/2008 10:44:10 PM
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shemaromans
Posts: 3905
Joined: 3/30/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: iwillfearnoevil
quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
But according to some interpretations of scripture it doesn't matter whether you work at it or not. Whatever God programs for your life is what will happen. If God decides that you should have a marriage made in hell, then that's what happens. Nothing you do will or even can change it. We are no more than robots following our programming.
Seems to me if He wanted mindless puppets he would have created mindless puppets.
that is some messed up interpretation ... it just doesn't vibe with other scripture such as Jeremiah 29:11 that Focusing posted ...
As well as the four verses that I posted in #102...
_____________________________
"But as for me, it is good to be near God." Psalm 73:28
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RE: Where did we get the idea... - 9/19/2008 10:55:31 PM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 2113
Joined: 12/11/2007
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quote:
Unfortunately, I'm a slow-growing fruit plant. Trends indicate that it takes about a year for fruit to emerge after planting.
What type of fertilizer do you use?
I have these friends who named their kids after the fruit of the spirit...
They have a Joy, lovely, Faith and hope....(not sure if hope is one of the fruit mentioned in Galatian though).
So, here's an idea for you on fruit production Shema, lol. It'll still take a couple of years to produce each fruit though.....
_____________________________
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint....Isaiah 40: 31
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RE: Where did we get the idea... - 9/19/2008 10:55:57 PM
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Focusing
Posts: 5989
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Thank you.
The speculation was referring to who we believe God wants us to marry. I know people who believe God told them so-and-so was "the one" ... and I wonder if they just want to be married so badly that they aren't seeking His will, or if they are using it as a manipulative tactic.
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There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven
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