Wife or Nurse or Both? (Full Version)

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hispen -> Wife or Nurse or Both? (9/9/2008 3:01:39 PM)

I have another question for the wives in the body of Christ but let me set the stage first:

Your husband is an associate Reverend in the church, has a demanding and stressful job in corporate America, you guys have two children under 10, and you are a stay at home mom. He has high blood pressure and high cholesterol and was prescribed medicine for both conditions to take daily, but he is TERRIBLE with remembering to take it. You just find out that he hasn't been taking either regularly for MONTHS.

Do you:

1) Tell him and everybody else that it's up to him to take his medicine you are tired of reminding him it's not your job to make him take it,

2) Faithfully and pleasantly remind him every day to take his medicine making sure that he does no matter what.

Please share which answer and why, if you have another alternative, please share that as well. Thanks in advance.



Mrs.Wifey -> RE: Wife or Nurse or Both? (9/9/2008 3:03:54 PM)

I'd probably remind him, but it's a moot point. My DH would have made diet or lifestyle changes before he was willing to take any medication.



all4aremine -> RE: Wife or Nurse or Both? (9/9/2008 3:37:18 PM)

My husband and I both work in corporate America but his job is a little more stressful. He has a thyroid condition and I have a hormone condition. Every morning and afternoon we gently remind each other to take their medicine because we are concerned with our health. My medicine cabinet looks like a pharmacy because of our conditions plus all the kids are on meds for various things.

If your husband drinks a glass of orange juice or milk or coffee or even soda in the morning, why not just hand him the glass of whatever it is every morning with pill in hand. There is no nagging at all involved but you get to make sure he took his pill.[:)]



hispen -> RE: Wife or Nurse or Both? (9/9/2008 3:43:59 PM)

all my marriage questions of late
are all about one couple
a couple that from the outside looking in
one would think these kinds of problesm don't exist
i hurt for my friends, try not to side with either
but in this case, the husband was rushed to the
hospital with high blood pressure near
stroke/heart attack range
and i'm afraid if after this
i still here the wife say
it's not my job i will just loose it!!!

why would a wife try 'tough love' in this manner
i just don't get it
it upsets me, if i was married i'd do what was just suggested
come to him with glass of whatever and the pills in my hand
i'd take that scripture helpmeet seriously and help him
cause i believe that would be my responsibility as his wife
it just hurts so much
to see a couple so blessed by god from the outside
have these problems (see my other recent posts on this thread)
i feel so bad for them

i pray for them often
and thanks guys for your input
it really does help me alot



Sadey -> RE: Wife or Nurse or Both? (9/9/2008 3:46:53 PM)

It depends on how long you want to be married to him[;)]

I am the wife of a heart patient, heart surgery, stent, many trips to the emergency room, thankfully never a heart attack. Its in his family, with all of his dad's family dying in their 50s. So I filll his pill boxes, he has three, for a three week span. He is pretty good about remembering because his pill box is right next to the coffeepot.

We just had a scare and God blessed us in that it isn't his heart.
I will do anything within my power to help him live longer. He has already outlived his dad by 20 years. I'm pretty bossy about his health and he lets me[:)] So go ahead and hand him his pills because its not just his heart, he could have a stroke or diabetes. Fuss over him and fuss at him, whatever it takes.



hispen -> RE: Wife or Nurse or Both? (9/9/2008 3:55:54 PM)

yes, sadey i agree, whatever it takes,
i just wonder what this wife is thinking, is all,



all4aremine -> RE: Wife or Nurse or Both? (9/9/2008 4:03:07 PM)

not to be mean but it sounds like the wife isn't thinking at all



MC4JC -> RE: Wife or Nurse or Both? (9/9/2008 8:21:49 PM)

Remember the "in sickness and in health"??????

I'd remind him. It really doesn't hurt and after all, I would hope the spouse would love the other enough to watch over. What if one had Alzheimers and you would HAVE to remind them to take meds, etc. EVERY day? That's being faithful, loving, and caring for each other.



3cappuccinosmom -> RE: Wife or Nurse or Both? (9/10/2008 7:03:24 AM)

Personally, I would remind him, fill his pill boxes, hand them to him at breakfast, etc.

However....is it possible the husband actively resisted her help? Maybe yelled at her for nagging? Is it possible she had to choose peace over forcing her husband to do what he had no interest in doing? Just thinking...



buckifn -> RE: Wife or Nurse or Both? (9/10/2008 7:26:09 AM)

you asked for wives opinion, but since this isnt in the womens only folder I assume we all can respond.

Why not buy him one of those key chains that lets you record messages reminding you of important things...record a reminder for him on it and see how that works?



karlie -> RE: Wife or Nurse or Both? (9/10/2008 1:50:09 PM)

quote:

My DH would have made diet or lifestyle changes before he was willing to take any medication.

Some people have to take medications even with the lifestyle and diet changes. Sometimes diet/lifestyle changes aren't effective on their own. Anyway....

If he is just forgetful and busy, and appreciated the reminders, then I would most definitely remind him, or set things up in a way that he sees and remembers his medication himself. It's a small thing to do and his health would be worth it to me.

If however, he got mad or upset about being reminded, or felt he was being treated like a child and resented that(I've known men who will take reminders that way), then I would still attempt to set up the meds so they are as convenient and as noticeable to him as possible, but he'd have to take responsibility himself for taking them.



becomingwhole -> RE: Wife or Nurse or Both? (9/10/2008 3:35:06 PM)

This reminds me of my parents. My dad does get mad at my mom for reminding to take his meds. He is diabetic, and eats whatever he wants and tells my mom it is his life. So please remember there are two sides to a story. I am one of those wives that would remind for a while but the reality is, it is the sick person who must choose to put their health first. I am in the one in my marriage that takes meds everyday. I am prediabetic. Even after losing 40 lbs. my numbers are still bad. I look healthy, but my blood work says different. My husband knows it is my choice to eat right, exercise, and take my meds. I know that may sound harsh, but with all we have been through we learned nagging even with good intentions could lead to major damage.
Becomingwhole



Mrs.Wifey -> RE: Wife or Nurse or Both? (9/10/2008 4:26:24 PM)

quote:

Some people have to take medications even with the lifestyle and diet changes. Sometimes diet/lifestyle changes aren't effective on their own. Anyway....


Yeah, I know. I take hbp meds because I have genetically high bp that isn't altered much by diet/exercise(but it is made worse by hormonal birth control).

Really though, it is always up to the person who is sick, whether or not they take their meds. It is NOT the wife's fault that her husband had such high blood pressure. She cannot force him to swallow the pills.



jaimestarcross -> RE: Wife or Nurse or Both? (9/11/2008 12:10:37 AM)

I would put his meds on the table every morning next to his breakfast.

If he still doesn't take the medication I will know it's because he chose not
to.... I would report it to his doctor that he's not taking his medication even though I have it out for him each morning.
*Make sure his life insurance is kept paid.



dianetavegia -> RE: Wife or Nurse or Both? (9/13/2008 5:02:28 PM)

Could this husband be avoiding the medication because of the sexual side effects?

My husband has always been in charge of his own medication, but were he not, I'd have them at the table with the meal we share together.

Blood pressure and cholesterol can many times be controlled by diet. This wife might want to serve oatmeal every morning and help her husband bring down his weight if he's overweight.



Christian30 -> RE: Wife or Nurse or Both? (9/13/2008 5:39:08 PM)

Remind him. If you think that reminding him is burdensome, think of the results of a stroke that results in death, or one that does not result in death but the need for exhaustive care.

One wise lady in this forum mentioned sexual side effects, which could certainly be an issue. This can be addressed as well. I can relate to that.



PrincessDonna -> RE: Wife or Nurse or Both? (9/13/2008 5:55:46 PM)

I'd give them to him. Actually I do have to give my husband medication every day right now, and if I didn't, he would not remember or know what to take. He doesn't mind and it is not a chore for me. Takes two seconds of my time and then I know he has had what his doctors want him to have. He appreciates that I take care of it for him.

As for this situation...if you are neither the husband nor the wife, I don't see that it is really your concern. Let them figure out what works for them. If there are other problem areas in this marriage (as there are in most marriages, I would dare to say), why do you know about them, unless you are their pastor or therapist or mentor of some sort?



cindybode -> RE: Wife or Nurse or Both? (9/15/2008 7:49:40 PM)

It would totally depend on whether or not the husband is, in general, taking responsibility for himself. If he needs an occasional reminder, that's fine. If he's expecting his wife to be his mommy and take care of this so he won't have to, then he needs to grow up. Since no one here knows the whole story, it's impossible to say one way or the other.



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