Women, is it a turn off to you if a GUY is overweight? (Full Version)

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Knolt -> Women, is it a turn off to you if a GUY is overweight? (9/7/2008 4:08:12 PM)

I wonder if it's a turn off to you ladies if a guy is fat. I've seen a lot of posts lately about overweight women. but what about you? Is it a turn-off if a man is overweight? Don't mince words. show unflinching honesty.



OneOfHisJewels -> RE: Women, is it a turn off to you if a GUY is overweight? (9/7/2008 4:44:01 PM)

If he is trying to exercise and eat right and is trying to lose the weight insofar as he is able, no, I will not be turned off by him. If he doesn't care that he is fat and is willing to get fatter and fatter, then yes, that is a turnoff.

As a person who gained weight first due to an illness and then an injury, I understand the struggle weight can be...I'm trying to eat right and get as much exercise as I am able...however, for example, this week I had some kind of headache, cold, stomachache combination, so it was hard to exercise this week..Ugh, I feel like I go one step forward and 3 steps back....for a while I was working with a trainer, and that really helped...had to food journal, and his workouts were very intense..but had to stop training due to financial reasons.

So, a guy might look at me and think I'm not thin enough for attraction (although I'm by no means morbidly obese)...but if he got to know me he would understand how hard I'm trying to move in the other direction....

so I have the same attitude about a guy..I have to give him the benefit of the doubt.....however, if he has such a huge gut he can't see his toes...I would still try to find out, but that would be a little harder than if he were just a little chubby.



ChiefWannahakaloogie -> RE: Women, is it a turn off to you if a GUY is overweight? (9/7/2008 7:28:58 PM)

like the person above, if he's honestly trying to change and lose weight, eat healthy etc etc etc, then i really don't care. but if hes fat and he doesn't care, that is unattractive.



captainfraulein -> RE: Women, is it a turn off to you if a GUY is overweight? (9/7/2008 7:31:38 PM)

I concur with OneOfHisJewels's post. I am overweight myself and it disqualifies me from a lot of guy, so I try to be understanding.

There is a big difference between a man who is sort of stocky battling his weight, with some muscles on his arms and legs than a big marshmellow dough boy with zero muscle tone at all. I can lift a water bottle at work and put in on the container, something all the ladies I work with can not do (from what they tell me..."go sit down and let a man do that! [:D]")...so I sort of would like somebody like me, somebody that makes an effort. I stive for an hour a day, 7 days a week even on the Sabbath, of walking or working out.


A 600 bls. man who gets around in a wheelbarrow probably will not turn my head.


But a 260 lbs. man with a big smile that likes to walk probably could.



rgod -> RE: Women, is it a turn off to you if a GUY is overweight? (9/7/2008 8:16:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: captainfraulein

A 600 bls. man who gets around in a wheelbarrow probably will not turn my head.
But a 260 lbs. man with a big smile that likes to walk probably could.


I agree with this. I actually prefer men who are average to chubby - kind of a cuddly teddy bear type. A lot too depends on how a guy carries himself. If I had a husband who gained a lot of weight though, I don't think the attraction would die (unless he was 500 or 600 lbs). I would be really concerned about him - his health - but I think that on some level I would probably continue to be attracted to him because he would be my husband. Even if it is his eyes or his voice - there would probably be something that I would still love.



Jenny-Fair -> RE: Women, is it a turn off to you if a GUY is overweight? (9/8/2008 1:24:16 AM)

I don't have the same caveat as the other posters because I think dieting and exercising to lose weight is stupid.

I don't think fat means unhealthy, but I do want a guy who is going to live long enough to see the grandkids, so regardless of size, living an active life is a good thing. And by active, I don't mean going to a gym or trying to punish yourself...I mean happily living a life that involves playing frisbee, going for walks with people you like, riding your bike by the river, swimming, etc. It's what I aim for myself.

I find the same man attractive at 265 than I found attractive at 175. Other than that one person, I have not pondered the question much.



OneOfHisJewels -> RE: Women, is it a turn off to you if a GUY is overweight? (9/8/2008 1:26:41 AM)

quote:

because I think dieting and exercising to lose weight is stupid.


I never said I was dieting. I said trying to eat right(eat healthy foods, and not overeat). There is a difference.



Jenny-Fair -> RE: Women, is it a turn off to you if a GUY is overweight? (9/8/2008 1:28:17 AM)

I don't think I posted in response to your post. It was in response to all the 'well, a fat guy is ok if he's trying hard to get non-fat' posts because I think that's bunk.

ETA--indeed, you did say that, so it was in response to your first statement in your post, not what you personally are trying to do to your body.



OneOfHisJewels -> RE: Women, is it a turn off to you if a GUY is overweight? (9/8/2008 2:14:21 AM)

quote:

If he is trying to exercise and eat right and is trying to lose the weight insofar as he is able,


I still did not say DIET. I said eat right (as in not being gluttoness as the Bible says, and trying to eat relatively healthy) I also said IN SO FAR AS HE IS ABLE. That means he might not be able to lose the weight, but I respect him if he tries.

And By the way, I don't feel "punished" at the gym. I love going.

I'm not trying to sound snarky or rude. You know I like you, Jenny. I'm just feeling a little misunderstood, here.[:(]

However, the original topic was would a heavy guy turn us off (basically), and I guess we can all have our own answer to that.

Sorry to the op..back to your regularly scheduled topic......



ames01 -> RE: Women, is it a turn off to you if a GUY is overweight? (9/8/2008 5:38:14 AM)

Overweightness (is that a word?) [:D] is not an immediate turn-off for me. Personality is really key (at least for me), if someone is a mature Christian, kind, caring, etc., the fact that he is also carrying around an extra 50 pounds is not going to matter much to me.

Perhaps part of the reason I feel this way is because my own weight tends to fluctuate up and down. I personally would feel uncomfortable being in a relationship with a man who made it known that he found me less attractive because of that, or subtley pressured me about weight loss. A man who is on the overweight side would probably be a little more understanding of my struggles.



car2ner -> RE: Women, is it a turn off to you if a GUY is overweight? (9/8/2008 6:46:54 AM)

I like a guy who is in shape ( I know round is a shape, too). M'love's doctor told him that he is a bit heavier than he likes so I will be watching what we eat.

I'll be honest, when I was dating a very heavy man could be my friend but never a romantic option. Not to be mean but I enjoy an somewhat active lifestyle that a very heavy man may have trouble keeping up with.



solo_soprano22 -> RE: Women, is it a turn off to you if a GUY is overweight? (9/8/2008 8:08:03 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jenny-Fair

I don't think I posted in response to your post. It was in response to all the 'well, a fat guy is ok if he's trying hard to get non-fat' posts because I think that's bunk.

ETA--indeed, you did say that, so it was in response to your first statement in your post, not what you personally are trying to do to your body.


That's my problem. [8|] "I'd like an overweight person, AS LONG AS they're trying to lose it or they'll let me try to help them lose it." It's too often about that person losing the weight. I posed the question to He Says in the scenario that it CAN'T be lost and the woman remains overweight.... but apparently, everyone can be skinny...he'll try to help her get skinny or she'll have to "find what's best for her" to get skinny. I wonder what's happen if there's no skinny to be had, or if she's active but remains overweight and is happy. I know people who run miles everyday and eat right, but they can't lose. I suppose it's some kind of gene problem (it's being investigated), but even doctors say they're healthier than most of the rest of us and eat better than most as well.

I've not been approached by an overweight man. I think if I were I'd give him a chance as much as I give others.



sherry1985 -> RE: Women, is it a turn off to you if a GUY is overweight? (9/8/2008 11:23:50 AM)

i dont mind i am dateing a 300 pound guy but he 6 2 and it dont look bad on him and he trys to lose it but it dont go away but he trys so that all that matters to me



OneOfHisJewels -> RE: Women, is it a turn off to you if a GUY is overweight? (9/8/2008 12:57:36 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: solo_soprano22

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jenny-Fair

I don't think I posted in response to your post. It was in response to all the 'well, a fat guy is ok if he's trying hard to get non-fat' posts because I think that's bunk.

ETA--indeed, you did say that, so it was in response to your first statement in your post, not what you personally are trying to do to your body.


That's my problem. [8|] "I'd like an overweight person, AS LONG AS they're trying to lose it or they'll let me try to help them lose it." It's too often about that person losing the weight. I posed the question to He Says in the scenario that it CAN'T be lost and the woman remains overweight.... but apparently, everyone can be skinny...he'll try to help her get skinny or she'll have to "find what's best for her" to get skinny. I wonder what's happen if there's no skinny to be had, or if she's active but remains overweight and is happy. I know people who run miles everyday and eat right, but they can't lose. I suppose it's some kind of gene problem (it's being investigated), but even doctors say they're healthier than most of the rest of us and eat better than most as well.

I've not been approached by an overweight man. I think if I were I'd give him a chance as much as I give others.


That's why I said, "In so far as he is able." If he is not able, I understand. But even if he's heavy, I would still like him to be active and try to eat healthy.

The most important thing to me about a guy after being Godly is that he treat me like a princess. But that doesn't mean physical attraction doesn't play into it.....but truthfully, size(one way or the other) isn't really on the top of my list as to what physically attracts me....but that doesn't mean morbidly obese is something I will not even notice.



Tinkerbell_ -> RE: Women, is it a turn off to you if a GUY is overweight? (9/8/2008 2:15:48 PM)

Being a fluffy person myself I don't really judge men on their size. I do however draw the line to a heavy man who refuses decent hygeine and trumps it to his size. "I'm a big man; I sweat big." or something ridiculous like that.

I abhor worrying about 'losing weight' or 'being fit' or all that other stuff that goes with it. [8|]

You do realise that these men will grow older and probably not be in pristine shape, right? [8D]



Auben -> RE: Women, is it a turn off to you if a GUY is overweight? (9/8/2008 5:28:43 PM)

I have been attracted to active, overweight men in the past. I didn't really think of them as needing to loose weight. It just seemed to be a part of them and I guess I accepted who they were.



artemis -> RE: Women, is it a turn off to you if a GUY is overweight? (9/8/2008 7:39:56 PM)

In the 11 years since we started dating, my husband has weighed anywhere from 170 (after being hospitalized for meningitis [:o]) to 300 lbs. He is the sexiest guy I know at any weight [sm=raisedbrows.gif], but probably looks his best at about 220, even though that is still considered "overweight" (it might even be considered obese... I'm not sure). As long as he is healthy, the weight doesn't matter one way or the other. If it started to be a healthy issue for him, I'd be concerned, but only because I want to keep him around as long as possible [:)]



losgan -> RE: Women, is it a turn off to you if a GUY is overweight? (9/8/2008 8:24:16 PM)

While I will preface this with the fact that overweight and "fat" aren't necessarily the same thing (you can be overweight but not what I picture when I see the word "fat" - though if you are fat you are definitely overweight) ...

A guy who is fat is a turnoff to me. You asked for the truth of my opinion, and there it is.



car2ner -> RE: Women, is it a turn off to you if a GUY is overweight? (9/9/2008 8:51:49 AM)

I've seen some skinny guys that just don't look attractive, either...but that is another thread.



Mom24Blessings -> RE: Women, is it a turn off to you if a GUY is overweight? (9/9/2008 2:16:00 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: captainfraulein

I concur with OneOfHisJewels's post. I am overweight myself and it disqualifies me from a lot of guy, so I try to be understanding.

There is a big difference between a man who is sort of stocky battling his weight, with some muscles on his arms and legs than a big marshmellow dough boy with zero muscle tone at all. I can lift a water bottle at work and put in on the container, something all the ladies I work with can not do (from what they tell me..."go sit down and let a man do that! [:D]")...so I sort of would like somebody like me, somebody that makes an effort. I stive for an hour a day, 7 days a week even on the Sabbath, of walking or working out.


A 600 bls. man who gets around in a wheelbarrow probably will not turn my head.


But a 260 lbs. man with a big smile that likes to walk probably could.



Same here! I'm overweight and really appreciate the fact that my hubby can look past it.
I would much rather have a guy with some meat on his bones.
My sister just divorced her husband after 24 years of marriage because he was bald and overweight.
He is a Christian, an anesthesiologist, who had her dream home built in the mountains and loved/loves her more than life itself.
She was a stay at home mom raising their 3 boys, they were a wonderful family and one day, she woke up to a mid life crisis. She all of a sudden decided to dress differently, cheated on him several times, then finally asked him to leave.
It's like she hit her head and woke up a different person.
But now that she finds the dating scene isn't so wonderful, she goes through a lot of lonely nights of crying because she wishes she had somebody who loved her and somebody who had enough $$ to keep her in the lifestyle she was accustomed to (quote unquote!).
He's since moved on and is dating, but I think she realizes that it gets you nowhere to be so superficial and even though her ex was overweight and bald, he was, on the inside, everything she has ever wanted.



loveleee -> RE: Women, is it a turn off to you if a GUY is overweight? (9/9/2008 4:31:18 PM)

When I was single, I found men that had "a little extra" [;)] attractive. I was actually drawn to them more so than the "thin" or "fit" men. Of course hygene to me is more important than a weight issue.
I married a man that is the skinniest person I know...For the last 4 years of our marriage I have been trying to get the weight on him but somehow the weight ends up on me [:D]



captainfraulein -> RE: Women, is it a turn off to you if a GUY is overweight? (9/9/2008 4:38:05 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mom24Blessings
Same here! I'm overweight and really appreciate the fact that my hubby can look past it.
I would much rather have a guy with some meat on his bones.
My sister just divorced her husband after 24 years of marriage because he was bald and overweight.
He is a Christian, an anesthesiologist, who had her dream home built in the mountains and loved/loves her more than life itself.
She was a stay at home mom raising their 3 boys, they were a wonderful family and one day, she woke up to a mid life crisis. She all of a sudden decided to dress differently, cheated on him several times, then finally asked him to leave.
It's like she hit her head and woke up a different person.
But now that she finds the dating scene isn't so wonderful, she goes through a lot of lonely nights of crying because she wishes she had somebody who loved her and somebody who had enough $$ to keep her in the lifestyle she was accustomed to (quote unquote!).
He's since moved on and is dating, but I think she realizes that it gets you nowhere to be so superficial and even though her ex was overweight and bald, he was, on the inside, everything she has ever wanted.


Oh my word. That is just too sad! Finding somebody to love you that much...what a treasure in life to have that. I have a friend who just lost her beloved husband in a plane crash and the one thing I comfort myself with is that it is so obvious she got the love of a lifetime with her hubby, may he RIP +. It is just as painful I think for people to have a spouse wake up one day and dump them for some misguided idol in their hearts. Nobody on the earth can satisfy you utterly...only the LORD can be your all in all.

I just got told at my dentist office by their massage lady (yes, they do give you FREE massage in the chair there before the doctor come in) "wow, you have a lot of muscles in your back"!

I thought walking an hour a day (most of what I do to work out, I may start going back to the gym) was not doing that much for me but it is. I am gaining muscle in my legs, back everywhere. I am not sure how that work. Might also be from carrying things like groceries up and down the stairs to the 2nd floor of my condo.

So in effect, I think it is reasonable to want a guy who has a little muscle tone on his body, even if he is overweight. At least make an effort as I do. Even walking an hour a day.

I hope somebody to meet a man as awesome as your husband. One who can look past my overweightness and also my challeneging random personality...going on one hour walks with each other each day. [sm=dance.gif]



crazemom -> RE: Women, is it a turn off to you if a GUY is overweight? (9/10/2008 2:56:19 PM)

It is if he is lazy and doesn't eat well and that is the reason he is overweight. I weigh the same thing I did when we met 16 years ago. However, he has gained 60 lbs! I also had 4 kids. The trick for me has been to keep exercising and watch what you eat AND turn off the T.V.!



Prairiehiker -> RE: Women, is it a turn off to you if a GUY is overweight? (9/10/2008 10:56:32 PM)

MOst often than not, yes, it's a turn off esp if the man is not trying to do anything about it. But I have fallen for an overweight man before, and I can see myself doing that again, should i meet a man who's overweight but is trying to do somethign about it. But if he's happy being overweight, and he's not active and is happy being just sitting around eating whatever he feels like eating, I don't think I'll fall for him. Being active and having a healthy eating habit is a major turn on; being a couch potato is not. And it's not just for health reasons. I like men that are physically attractive in my eyes.



nevaehs_gaze -> RE: Women, is it a turn off to you if a GUY is overweight? (9/10/2008 11:21:21 PM)

Doesn't matter to me as long as he's healthy. I know many overweight people who are healthier and are in better shape than I am, and I'm considered thin!



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