Approach... (Full Version)

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StephenJ -> Approach... (9/7/2008 1:15:06 PM)

I guess in some ways this is more of a question for the She says forum but I'd like guys perspectives as well.

What is the best way to approach someone you're interested in (in such a way that it's obvious you're interested in them) without coming across as to forceful or worse creepy.



deermousie -> RE: Approach... (9/7/2008 1:43:45 PM)

Ask her for her father's phone number?



LivingParadox -> RE: Approach... (9/7/2008 2:47:40 PM)

Asked her out for coffee ...something low key to chat to get to know the other a little better with little commitment to go further -- if it goes well, it a natural progression to ask her out on a real date.



MC4JC -> RE: Approach... (9/7/2008 4:31:58 PM)

Yes just ask her if she's free for a coffee or snack one afternoon. If she says yes, then ask what would be a good time for her :)



preserved -> RE: Approach... (9/8/2008 6:17:01 PM)

Try conversating first...coming on too fast with interest tends to scare some females off...Makes it seem like you are desperate. Focus on buiding a friendship 1st..going for coffee is ok....As for me....if a man comes straight out to tell me that he is interested...in my mind I keep things at bay until I consult with God first.



PopsiLufsJesus -> RE: Approach... (9/10/2008 12:52:22 AM)

Coffee it is... Does she like coffee?



jesuschick247 -> RE: Approach... (9/10/2008 12:35:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: preserved

Try conversating first...coming on too fast with interest tends to scare some females off...Makes it seem like you are desperate. Focus on buiding a friendship 1st..going for coffee is ok....As for me....if a man comes straight out to tell me that he is interested...in my mind I keep things at bay until I consult with God first.


I have to agree! I personally am much more likely to be interested in you if you put forth an effort to get to know me as a person first! I don't mind a guy asking for my phone number, after we have goten to know each other a little better, but if he really likes me, he can wait to get to know me better before saying that to me! I can't stand it when you have known a guy for like 2 minutes and he asks you out?! It just makes him seem really desperate and impatient!



preserved -> RE: Approach... (9/10/2008 4:05:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: jesuschick247

quote:

ORIGINAL: preserved

Try conversating first...coming on too fast with interest tends to scare some females off...Makes it seem like you are desperate. Focus on buiding a friendship 1st..going for coffee is ok....As for me....if a man comes straight out to tell me that he is interested...in my mind I keep things at bay until I consult with God first.


I have to agree! I personally am much more likely to be interested in you if you put forth an effort to get to know me as a person first! I don't mind a guy asking for my phone number, after we have goten to know each other a little better, but if he really likes me, he can wait to get to know me better before saying that to me! I can't stand it when you have known a guy for like 2 minutes and he asks you out?! It just makes him seem really desperate and impatient!


EXACTLY!



broyce1981 -> RE: Approach... (9/10/2008 7:00:16 PM)

I don't get it. Isn't the point of asking somebody on a first date so you can get to know them as a person better?



StephenJ -> RE: Approach... (9/10/2008 9:51:45 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: broyce1981

I don't get it. Isn't the point of asking somebody on a first date so you can get to know them as a person better?


Bingo, and I think many of us would attest to the fact (from experience) that you don't want to be seen as someones "friend."



makarizo -> RE: Approach... (9/10/2008 10:02:43 PM)

then there is the honest approach:
tell her that she seems like a very interesting person, and you would like to get to know her better.



lastblast -> RE: Approach... (9/11/2008 8:28:29 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: deermousie

Ask her for her father's phone number?


LOL...............[:D]



preserved -> RE: Approach... (9/12/2008 11:52:07 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: StephenJ

quote:

ORIGINAL: broyce1981

I don't get it. Isn't the point of asking somebody on a first date so you can get to know them as a person better?


Bingo, and I think many of us would attest to the fact (from experience) that you don't want to be seen as someones "friend."


Why would you ask someone for a first date if you are not sure of any interest? You do not have to go out on a date to get to know someone? What happen to establishing conversations before you GO OUT?

The OP has not indicated as to whether this person he is interested are friends or what?



DaveW -> RE: Approach... (9/12/2008 1:00:16 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: StephenJ

What is the best way to approach someone you're interested in (in such a way that it's obvious you're interested in them) without coming across as to forceful or worse creepy.
I guess I'm not a good one to answer this. I waited until God spoke audibly from heaven to me.....

I always reasoned that the girls I was interested in (and I had some pretty severe crushes in my day) had no right to know how I did or did not feel.



raivyne -> RE: Approach... (9/12/2008 4:28:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: makarizo

then there is the honest approach:
tell her that she seems like a very interesting person, and you would like to get to know her better.


I think this is a good idea



NoShow -> RE: Approach... (9/12/2008 4:46:20 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: StephenJ

quote:

ORIGINAL: broyce1981

I don't get it. Isn't the point of asking somebody on a first date so you can get to know them as a person better?


Bingo, and I think many of us would attest to the fact (from experience) that you don't want to be seen as someones "friend."


I normally started out as someone's friend, prior to "dating" them. But I've always had a lot of friends, so the ones I ended up dating was a small percentage. I just rarely had interest in dating someone, that I didn't first know as a friend. The otherside of that is, I normally went back to being friends with the people I dated (when we decided it wasn't working out).



Anamchara -> RE: Approach... (9/15/2008 12:15:51 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: deermousie

Ask her for her father's phone number?



Ha ha, my favorite response by far! I can only imagine what my dad would say/ask if a guy that was interested in me called him. Funny, they should probably be ready for a survey and a half. :)



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