Considering asking out this girl but... (Full Version)

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StephenJ -> Considering asking out this girl but... (9/7/2008 1:07:27 PM)

I have a concern that a person I consider a friend might have feelings for her.

Okay so here is the situation, there's a nice Christian girl I'm interested in getting to know but I have a concern that if I ask her out a friend of mine might have his feelings hurt. He seems to hang around her alot, and I'm not quite sure if that means he likes her or they just share common interests (theatre in this case.) I'm planning on sitting him down soon and having a nice chat with him over how he feels, I want to be considerate of his feelings if he has them for her. On the other hand I wonder if I should really have to ask permission for this sort of thing.

It's funny though, a few weeks ago three friends of mine were involved in a big blow up when two of them started dating, and it really hurt the guy who was left out. There were alot of hurt feelings, and it ruined some good friendships.

I've put alot of thought and prayer into this one and I'd like to hear what everyone else thinks.



broyce1981 -> RE: Considering asking out this girl but... (9/7/2008 3:04:47 PM)

If you're interested in dating her, go ahead and ask her out! It's nice that you're considerate of your friend's feelings and all, but you can't let it interfere with pursuing somebody you'd like to date. Any time you think about asking somebody out, there's a good chance there's another guy who is interested as well. Just think, she may really want to go out with you but may not have that opportunity if you don't ask out of fear of hurting your friend. That would be a shame, IMO.



MC4JC -> RE: Considering asking out this girl but... (9/7/2008 4:29:17 PM)

IMO unless you know for sure that they are going out together, then I would just ask her out. I would NOT have a talk with this other guy and wanting to know his intentions. He may not be interested in her other then a friend.

But if you ask her out, she will tell you yes or no - if she and the other guy is involved, you will find out soon enough.

Many times we wish we would have done something and the chance may be gone. Go ahead and ask her out :)



jesuschick247 -> RE: Considering asking out this girl but... (9/8/2008 1:20:47 PM)

Ask her out! I had a friend who really liked me and I really liked him, but he didn't ask me out because he thought I liked this other guy, which I did, as a friend only! We didn't find out until a couple of years later when we were laughing and talking about when we were younger that we had both at one time liked each other. Don't waste an opportunity if you really like her, the worst thing she can say is no and isn't that better than wondering what she might have said for years to come?



preserved -> RE: Considering asking out this girl but... (9/8/2008 6:10:18 PM)

If this is your friend...then I see nothing wrong in asking him if he has any interest or intends to pursue this nice christian girl out of respect. You are not asking for his permission...You would be respecting and acknowleding his interest.

You said that you put a lot of thought and prayer into this...What did the spirit tell you?...I am thinking that he told you to talk with your friend...When God tells you what to do...be careful in obtaining a lot of opinions...it means that you do not trust in what God told you??



georgerobbyjr -> RE: Considering asking out this girl but... (9/8/2008 11:42:27 PM)

quote:

If this is your friend...then I see nothing wrong in asking him if he has any interest or intends to pursue this nice christian girl out of respect. You are not asking for his permission...You would be respecting and acknowleding his interest.


I guess I agree with this, assuming you are close friends with the man. If you are merely acquaintances or buddies, then I would just tell you to ask her out for coffee. If it were a close friend of mine, I would definitely discuss it with him first.



StephenJ -> RE: Considering asking out this girl but... (9/10/2008 9:47:59 PM)

Well we're all in a Bible study together, so I'm worried things might be...well awkward.

I definately do plan to at least talk to my friend though.



sudden -> RE: Considering asking out this girl but... (9/11/2008 3:29:12 PM)

Hi StephenJ:

Here's the perspective of an old broad.

I would say that if you don't value your friendship with this fellow just ask her out. It sounds to me as if you do though and I think it kindest that you do as you are proposing - speak to him and ask if he was planning to ask her out. IF not...I'd say you have a green light. If so, you can then think about what you wish to do.

Most dates are a flash in the pan...a true friend is a friend for life. You sound like a true friend. In the long run your loyalty and considerate attitude will be appreciated not only by him but byyour true love which I know, because of your attitude, you will find.

Kudos to you.

Sudden



sty1919 -> RE: Considering asking out this girl but... (9/13/2008 12:10:21 AM)

I was in that 3 friend blow up situation. We were best friends and now we see each other every 6 months and barely speak



StephenJ -> RE: Considering asking out this girl but... (9/14/2008 1:25:26 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sty1919

I was in that 3 friend blow up situation. We were best friends and now we see each other every 6 months and barely speak


Which part of the triangle were you in?



StephenJ -> RE: Considering asking out this girl but... (9/25/2008 10:10:00 PM)

So I talked to my friend, and he's okay (turns out I'd misread things.)

Now I guess I will ask her.



beachcooky -> RE: Considering asking out this girl but... (9/25/2008 10:38:52 PM)

Hey Stephen! (:

If you are worried about hurting your friends feelings, just casually ask him if he's interested in her. Like maybe next time you guys hang out, just ask him.

And I mean, it's good that you are considerate about your friends feelings. I wish my friends were like that! But you should go up to the girl and just ask her out. Don't be scared.



beachcooky -> RE: Considering asking out this girl but... (9/25/2008 10:39:56 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: StephenJ

So I talked to my friend, and he's okay (turns out I'd misread things.)

Now I guess I will ask her.


Ha, sorry I didn't see this update! Good luck!



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