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They are less likely to read a newspaper, attend church, vote for president or believe that people are basically trustworthy, helpful and fair. Meanwhile, saddled with an average of $20,000 in student debt and reared with a sense of entitlement that stops them from taking any old job, the percentage of 26-year-olds living with their parents has nearly doubled since 1970, from 11 to 20 percent, according to economist Bob Schoeni's research with the Population Studies Center at the University of Michigan.

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ORIGINAL: stellaluna

Are you asking us why we think men don't want to grow up? Because that's what that article amounts to.

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They are less likely to read a newspaper, attend church, vote for president or believe that people are basically trustworthy, helpful and fair. Meanwhile, saddled with an average of $20,000 in student debt and reared with a sense of entitlement that stops them from taking any old job, the percentage of 26-year-olds living with their parents has nearly doubled since 1970, from 11 to 20 percent, according to economist Bob Schoeni's research with the Population Studies Center at the University of Michigan.

I rest my case.

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If only all the posturing paid off. College guys believe that 80 percent of their friends are getting laid each weekend, says Kimmel, whose survey of 13,000 kids, mostly 18 to 22 years old, puts the actual figure at closer to 10 percent. After college, he says, the percentages merely get worse.

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ORIGINAL: Auben

I don't think women are as surprised by this are you are, backrowbaptist.

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ORIGINAL: backrowbaptist

Ladies, I posted this in the Men's and Twenties forums. I thought I'd get your reaction.
I'm a forty something ex-bachelor (married 1 year), not much different from the guys described here. I found love (and family) late in life, a lot of my friends in similar situations haven't. What do y'all think of this?
'Why I Am Leaving Guyland' - Newsweek
It's "booze o'clock" on a recent Thursday night on New York's Fire Island—a rolling, inexact hour when 10 vacationing guys decide to kick off their nightly binge. Between tequila shots and pulls of beer, the sun-baked twentysomethings roar on the deck of their rented beach house, sounding the depths of maledom: sexual conquests, mastery of fire ("I'll grill that potato salad") and escape from the monotony of girlfriends and work. "I like starting things," says one guy, as if to sum up his generation. "Then it gets boring."
http://www.newsweek.com/id/156372
Check out the comments, too.

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ORIGINAL: stellaluna

And by your previous posts one could surmise that you want to blame a man's lack of responsibility on everyone but the man. [;)]

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I hold that people are responsible for themselves, regardless of age or gender. (True children excepted, of course.) If these men are miserable in their Peter Pan fantasy and too stupid to realize why, there is nothing that any of us can do to "fix" them.

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If these (referring to the men in the article) men are miserable in their Peter Pan fantasy and too stupid to realize why, there is nothing that any of us can do to "fix" them.

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They are less likely to read a newspaper, attend church, vote for president or believe that people are basically trustworthy, helpful and fair. Meanwhile, saddled with an average of $20,000 in student debt and reared with a sense of entitlement that stops them from taking any old job, the percentage of 26-year-olds living with their parents has nearly doubled since 1970, from 11 to 20 percent, according to economist Bob Schoeni's research with the Population Studies Center at the University of Michigan.

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ORIGINAL: Auben

I don't think women are as surprised by this are you are, backrowbaptist.

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ORIGINAL: stellaluna

You're just so worried that women are taking over Christianity you can't seem to hold your fellow men (as a gender) accountable for anything.

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Frankly their parents should kick them out.

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And don't feel bad, you should hear what I have to say about women that never grow up. [:D]

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ORIGINAL: backrowbaptist

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ORIGINAL: Auben

I don't think women are as surprised by this are you are, backrowbaptist.

Oh, I'm not surprised by this at all, Auben. I was one of the original Peter Pans. Like I said, I only recently got married and became a step-father, after thinking it was way too late for me. My road to responsible adulthood was long and filled with regretable decisions. That's why this issue is so important to me. As I stated in the OP, many of my forty-something single friends are still mired in this (married men, too), and I see more and more younger men making the same mistakes. This is a HUGE problem in the church, and I can imagine God's heart breaking over it. Some men are owning up to it and ministries are growing up everywhere to try to deal with the issue. Some are on the mark with what they want to do, some aren't. There is a LOT of resistance from Christian women, but a LOT of support, also. I've made it part of my ministry goals and commitments, so like I said, input on the problem is helpful.

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Frankly their parents should kick them out.


Amen, sister! Now we're getting somewhere. Question - have any of you done this?

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ORIGINAL: rgod

Wow - your statement is fascinating. Let me ask you - what made you want to change? Was it meeting the "right" woman for you - was it a restlessness inside - or something else? And in what ways are Christian women resisting? Also, can you share some concrete ways in which women can be supportive? I think for myself and many other Christian women, Peter Pan guys are kind of annoying because they kind of waste your time - you know? But that is probably not the right attitude to have since we are supposed to love one another? Also, why did you remain in that "Peter Pan" phase? Why do other men? I hope I'm not asking too many questions here - I don't want to hijack your thread ...

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ORIGINAL: stellaluna
I know dozens and dozens of stand-up guys. But guess what? They're busy living their lives: working hard, going to school, going to church, being husbands and fathers and even--shockingly--being single. The males spoken of in the article are perpetual little boys, not men.

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ORIGINAL: deermousie
I think that people doing it right are going to get an education, get a job, get married and have kids. They'll live honestly and be givers.

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I can’t say any one thing made me want to change. It was more a maturing over time. I had always wanted to marry, but kept putting it off until (I thought) it was too late. A lot of it had to do with being too picky, in a typically shallow way. This girls legs were too skinny, I didn’t like that one’s laugh, she’s not athletic enough, or whatever. But, I’ve got to say, a lot of women I did like felt similar things about me. What it really stemmed from was a couple of relationships in college that I was naïve and immature in pursuing. They ended badly, and I think I used them to rationalize not getting serious, mostly out of fear. With a lot of guys it’s fear. Fear of intimacy or fear of failure. I think a lot of guys prolong their adolescence so long that they don’t think they have the ability, or maturity, to be a responsible husband and father.

NOTE - If you would like to hear the rest of this story, I posted it in my blog "The View From the Back Pew", in BlogTowne. Hope you don't mind, rgod, but I quoted your post
http://forums.crosswalk.com/pgdrewrite.aspx?404;http://forums.crosswalk.com:80/Leaving_Guyland/m_3780299/mpage_1/tm.htm

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ORIGINAL: rgod

No problem with quoting me. I read your blog - it gave me some good insight. I thought it is interesting to note that you talk about being afraid. I think that sometimes I, as a woman, forget that a man can be scared or scarred emotionally - because they seem to bounce back from things so quickly - or because they express their emotions differently. This is an important point, because it is at the root of some of the selfish behavior - and it helps me to see these men more compassionately.
But for me, as a woman who would definitely get married if she met the right man, it all boils down to using wisdom. If I meet a Peter Pan man, I don't let my heart get involved with him or continue to see him once my suspicions are confirmed. While I can sympathize with him and pray that he'll mature in this area, I'm not going to be the woman who hangs around for 7 years, waiting for him to grow up. And, to be frank, if a woman does what the bible says in terms of unmarried relationships with the opposite sex, a lot of those Peter Pan men tend to fade away because there's always some other woman who doesn't mind doing what she won't. [;)] (There are exceptions ... but we need to be real on this point.)
So Backrowbaptist - you mentioned that you felt that God's heart was breaking over this issue. Have you thought about helping other men who struggle with this? If so, what are some things that you are thinking about doing?

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It's "booze o'clock" on a recent Thursday night on New York's Fire Island