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RE: Overwieght Women - 9/2/2008 8:12:25 PM
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denbert
Posts: 17627
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LOL!
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The solution to a problem changes the problem
Denny
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RE: Overwieght Women - 9/4/2008 1:25:13 AM
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Preludeian
Posts: 66
Joined: 5/19/2008
From: Portland Metro Oregon
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I myself am attracted to women who are toned. They goto the gym or atleast attempt to work their body instead of sitting around and having some excuse NOT to work their body in a physical manner. Women who are thin and just watch what they eat are very nice as well. Women who are overweight are flagged as being either lazy or no DRIVE in life. On the rare occasion I can see there being an excuse for why they can't watch what they eat or get to the gym but a majority of women whom are overweight are just plain lazy.
I've worked on the avg 56hrs a week doing two jobs which are both physically demanding. For the last three of them I've managed to make it to the gym almost five days a week ALMOST every single week. It's all about drive.
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RE: Overwieght Women - 9/4/2008 1:15:17 PM
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N-E-W-S
Posts: 25
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DreadPirateRandy
quote:
ORIGINAL: stamper_ben
What would y'all do if you preferred an "in-shape" women, and then 30 years and who knows how many children down the marriage road she becomes overweight?
Just asking...
I've heard this question many of times. There is still no excuses for anyone to not take care of themselves unless they are physically handicapped and incapable to do so.
Pregnancy is not an excuse to be overweight. I know of a lady who recently had a child, and just weeks after, she's already beginning to slim down. Also, in pregnancy, there is such as a thing as a healthy weight to gain and an unhealthy weight to gain. Pregnancy shouldn't be used as an excuse for weight problems.
Being that I care so much about my girlfriend (my eventual wife), I would willing help her get "in shape" and take better care of herself if that need be, and I know she would do the same for me. It's not a matter of being unable to do it, it's a matter of being unwilling.
It is not nearly as easy as it sounds to be WPH. I know many people who have always had this issue. There are 2 people who I know that did lose weight. One took Phen-phen? And the other had stomach by-pass surgery. Still another had surgery too.
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RE: Overwieght Women - 9/4/2008 1:20:45 PM
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N-E-W-S
Posts: 25
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quote:
I made poor health decisions awhile ago. I was becoming obese in my early teenage years and it continued to grow over the years. That was a prime example of life happening but myself being unwilling to adjust to those circumstances in a positive way. Instead, I let myself get big and did nothing about it.
All that has changed now, obviously. But it proves to me that you have the ability to do something about yourself in terms of health. I don't plan to "let myself go" when I hit the 50 mark. Instead of being "that old guy who let himself go because life's circumstances was too much for him", I plan on being "that grandpa who still looks like a stud despite his age."
quote:
When I weighed close to a near 250 lbs., no woman bothered to notice my existence. After that changed, so did their perspective.
That is good that you lost weight. Were you ever obese? Some people have struggled with this all their life.
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RE: Overwieght Women - 9/4/2008 6:44:29 PM
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DreadPirateRandy
Posts: 7933
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quote:
ORIGINAL: N-E-W-S
Were you ever obese?
I wasn't morbidly obese, no. I was overweight for my age, though. It's resulted into my skin tissue being stretched and all that junk. There's so many consequences that come with not caring about your health.
_____________________________
The lunatic, the lover, and the poet, are of imagination all compact.
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RE: Overwieght Women - 9/5/2008 11:50:20 AM
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ekserekseez
Posts: 661
Joined: 7/3/2008
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I'm a big gym freak, and I usually want a lady that's toned at least, and hopefully spends some time and cash on her hair and clothes too. I have to admit, though, that every once in a while I get in a "chubby chaser" mood, if you know what I mean.
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RE: Overwieght Women - 9/5/2008 3:19:30 PM
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stamper_ben
Posts: 10977
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Lone Star State
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Preludeian
I myself am attracted to women who are toned. They goto the gym or atleast attempt to work their body instead of sitting around and having some excuse NOT to work their body in a physical manner. Women who are thin and just watch what they eat are very nice as well. Women who are overweight are flagged as being either lazy or no DRIVE in life. On the rare occasion I can see there being an excuse for why they can't watch what they eat or get to the gym but a majority of women whom are overweight are just plain lazy.
I've worked on the avg 56hrs a week doing two jobs which are both physically demanding. For the last three of them I've managed to make it to the gym almost five days a week ALMOST every single week. It's all about drive.
So, you going to experience your married life in that gym? Now that would be purpose driven.
_____________________________
We will be known as His by the love we show one another.
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RE: Overwieght Women - 9/5/2008 11:07:36 PM
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Christian30
Posts: 204
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Stafford, TX (Houston suburb)
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I've heard some people say that it takes determination to keep in shape and keep your weight down, and I totally agree. I live in the U.S. and am thin, and had always tried to sympathize with those who were overweight. My Japanese wife said that in this country it was the high-fat diet, large food portions, sweets, and also lack of exercise, and the people who were overweight "victims" to problems such as thyroid were very rare. I disagreed and thought she was harsh and unsympathetic. I should have listened more to a 104-pound woman with a slow metabolism who eats tiny portions of food.
Then I spent a month in Angola and it changed my perspective forever. I saw an occasional person who was maybe 15 or 20 pounds overweight, but I saw NOT ONE obese person the whole time. But I did notice their differences in lifestyle, and among all classes and socioeconomic groups. They did not eat huge quantities of food and their lives were much more physical. Many did not have the money for large amounts of food and high calorie drinks, but even among the more affluent, habits were different.
Being a part of an international extended and traveling to other parts of the world, I am convinced that we have major lifestyle issues conducive to making people fat. I am also convinced that few are "victims." However, as a much as I think I understand the facts, as Christians we should not be harsh, judgmental, and critical, no matter what the facts are.
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RE: Overwieght Women - 9/6/2008 12:43:56 AM
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backrowbaptist
Posts: 380
Joined: 6/7/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Preludeian
I've worked on the avg 56hrs a week doing two jobs which are both physically demanding. For the last three of them I've managed to make it to the gym almost five days a week ALMOST every single week. It's all about drive.
Sounds like em when I was younger, before I came to the realization that I was making an idol of my body. I wasn't nearly so driven when it came to my spiritual life. It was easier to miss a quite time or church meeting than it was to miss a work out. There's a fine, or maybe not so fine, line between staying healthy and taking care of your body and being obsessed or driven to keep yourself in perfect shape. I crossed the line, giving priority to the temporal fitness of my earthly body over the eternal growth of my walk with God.
Now my priorities are in better balance. Through God's grace I met a widowed mother of two, whose body shows that she's a mom but is still attractive and in good condition, who agreed to be my wife. She tries to stay in good shape, but is not narcissistic or obsessive about it, keeping it on her priority list, but well behind her obedience to God, her marriage, and motherhood.
Now THAT is sexy!
_____________________________
Any of this gettin' through to you, son?
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RE: Overwieght Women - 9/23/2008 1:24:16 AM
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Preludeian
Posts: 66
Joined: 5/19/2008
From: Portland Metro Oregon
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quote:
ORIGINAL: stamper_ben
quote:
ORIGINAL: Preludeian
I myself am attracted to women who are toned. They goto the gym or atleast attempt to work their body instead of sitting around and having some excuse NOT to work their body in a physical manner. Women who are thin and just watch what they eat are very nice as well. Women who are overweight are flagged as being either lazy or no DRIVE in life. On the rare occasion I can see there being an excuse for why they can't watch what they eat or get to the gym but a majority of women whom are overweight are just plain lazy.
I've worked on the avg 56hrs a week doing two jobs which are both physically demanding. For the last three of them I've managed to make it to the gym almost five days a week ALMOST every single week. It's all about drive.
So, you going to experience your married life in that gym? Now that would be purpose driven.
FYI friend I was once married and had plenty of time for my wife outside of my work and gym. I see no reason that a wife and a husband can't goto the gym together. Having a partner to goto the gym with helps you keep going.
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RE: Overwieght Women - 9/23/2008 1:28:21 AM
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Preludeian
Posts: 66
Joined: 5/19/2008
From: Portland Metro Oregon
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quote:
ORIGINAL: backrowbaptist
quote:
ORIGINAL: Preludeian
I've worked on the avg 56hrs a week doing two jobs which are both physically demanding. For the last three of them I've managed to make it to the gym almost five days a week ALMOST every single week. It's all about drive.
Sounds like em when I was younger, before I came to the realization that I was making an idol of my body. I wasn't nearly so driven when it came to my spiritual life. It was easier to miss a quite time or church meeting than it was to miss a work out. There's a fine, or maybe not so fine, line between staying healthy and taking care of your body and being obsessed or driven to keep yourself in perfect shape. I crossed the line, giving priority to the temporal fitness of my earthly body over the eternal growth of my walk with God.
Now my priorities are in better balance. Through God's grace I met a widowed mother of two, whose body shows that she's a mom but is still attractive and in good condition, who agreed to be my wife. She tries to stay in good shape, but is not narcissistic or obsessive about it, keeping it on her priority list, but well behind her obedience to God, her marriage, and motherhood.
Now THAT is sexy!
I work all the time because I have to pay off debts brought upon on me by my own blood. I saved my parents from going bankrupt and they never paid me back. My sister did pretty much the same thing. I myself won't default so I work to pay it off to keep my name and credit good. The gym is the only thing besides God that's keeping me going because I don't talk to my family anymore because they all used me, well most of them.
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RE: Overwieght Women - 10/13/2008 2:38:53 PM
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AslansChild
Posts: 68
Joined: 6/30/2005
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I was not attracted to overweight women when I was dating and for the most part dated proportionate women. The two girls I dated that were "overweight" carried it well as they were also a bit taller so their weight balanced out. I did marry a girl who was slim and attractive but after 20 years and a few children, and no physical activity she now weighs more than me. While I still lover her I fear that I am no longer physically attracted to her. If anyone has a tactful way for me to tell her she should take better care of herself I am all ears.
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RE: Overwieght Women - 10/13/2008 2:52:14 PM
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JimboFletch
Posts: 6628
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quote:
ORIGINAL: AslansChild
...If anyone has a tactful way for me to tell her she should take better care of herself I am all ears.
Sorry, but I think this falls under the "for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickenss or in health" clause you should have made at your wedding.
Quite often, men that make statements like yours aren't real prizes anymore either. At least in my case, I know I'm not the same 20 year-old my wife married 36 years ago.
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RE: Overwieght Women - 10/13/2008 3:21:02 PM
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AslansChild
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But doesn't that vow work both ways? And as some background, I am probably a better man now than I was 20 years ago, both physically and spiritually. I was a hard drinking, smoker who partied enough for five heavy metal rock bands. I think as christians we sometimes think we have to accept the vows we mad at our wedding without question. While I am still ready to stand by my vows I also expect to continually craft myself so I exceed the promise. To me those vows are similar to asking someone to build me a house. Yeah they gave me four walls some floors and a roof, but overtime I expect them to add carpet, lights and a hot tub. Marriage should be the same. Yes I will honor cherish and obey but I should also want to have fun, show ultimate compassion and respect, and want to please in every way.
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RE: Overwieght Women - 10/14/2008 9:11:10 AM
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John_O
Posts: 8064
Joined: 9/5/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: JimboFletch
quote:
ORIGINAL: AslansChild
...If anyone has a tactful way for me to tell her she should take better care of herself I am all ears.
Sorry, but I think this falls under the "for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickenss or in health" clause you should have made at your wedding.
Just because you made a vow is no reason for either of you to let yourselves go. And it's certainly no reason for lying to your wife when she says "Do I look fat in this?" when she looks fat in everything because she has let herself go. Your wife deserves the truth. If her physical condition is damaging a portion of your marriage then she needs to fix it. (And yes it works both ways. If I were getting fat I'd want my future wife to tell me also.)
The mistake I made in my marriage is I did not help her stay thin when she was thin, and by the time the weight got to a point of damaging our relationship she was too fragile to deal with it. If I had helped her nip the fat trend in the bud we would have ahd an even better life together. I failed her.
AslansChild is asking for a discrete gentle way to help get his wife back in shape, or at least to open the discussion, and you come down on him like he's walking out on his marriage. Not very nice.
AC, you've got to let her know that you'd like for both of you to be in better shape. Get both of you out walking or something together. Praise her profusely when she thins down even a little, or wears something that makes her look thinner. (but be gentle about it. KWIM?)
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: Overwieght Women - 10/14/2008 9:22:10 AM
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JimboFletch
Posts: 6628
Joined: 4/11/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
The mistake I made in my marriage is I did not help her stay thin when she was thin, and by the time the weight got to a point of damaging our relationship she was too fragile to deal with it. If I had helped her nip the fat trend in the bud we would have ahd an even better life together. I failed her.
Again, I'm sorry, that just doesn't sound like you really got the covenant you made with her - or understand women very well. Bud-nipping is how Barney Fife managed relationships...
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RE: Overwieght Women - 10/14/2008 10:14:38 AM
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Qtman
Posts: 10086
Joined: 3/21/2006
From: Crimson Tide Country
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My wife and I married 34 years ago. I had a 29 inch waste and was in excellent physical shape. She was 5'0" tall and weighed 105 lbs. After 34 years of marriage I now have a 36" waste and am no longer the physical specimen of my youth. Her hair has turned white and yes she has put on quite a few pounds. As we age we tend to do that. But I want you to know when I look at her I do not see a white headed over weight woman. I still see that 5 foot tall petite little woman I married years ago. I see the love of my life. If you or anyone else expects your spouse to not change over the years physically then make sure you are exactly the same as when you married her. I bet you are not.
_____________________________
Remember: God loves you and I'm trying!
~rogasinger4Him
Body Piercings
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RE: Overwieght Women - 10/14/2008 11:38:58 AM
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ffbruce
Posts: 271
Joined: 10/14/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Qtman
My wife and I married 34 years ago. I had a 29 inch waste and was in excellent physical shape. She was 5'0" tall and weighed 105 lbs. After 34 years of marriage I now have a 36" waste and am no longer the physical specimen of my youth. Her hair has turned white and yes she has put on quite a few pounds. As we age we tend to do that. But I want you to know when I look at her I do not see a white headed over weight woman. I still see that 5 foot tall petite little woman I married years ago. I see the love of my life. If you or anyone else expects your spouse to not change over the years physically then make sure you are exactly the same as when you married her. I bet you are not.
EXACTLY!
My wife of 25 years is also the mother of our 3 kids. She's 5'5" and weighs about 130 lbs, which is just fine with me. She's beautiful. And like everyone else in her family, she grayed early, so she colors her hair. I don't care either way, but she just feels better about herself with her hair colored.
Yes, physical appearance is important, especially since guys are stimulated visually. If you're thinking your pre-menopausal wife, in her late 40s, is going to have the body she did when she was 20 (or SHOULD have it), you're in for a big surprise. But before getting too critical of our wives, we need to spend some more time looking in the mirror at our own old carcasses! 
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RE: Overwieght Women - 10/14/2008 12:19:36 PM
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AslansChild
Posts: 68
Joined: 6/30/2005
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quote:
AslansChild is asking for a discrete gentle way to help get his wife back in shape, or at least to open the discussion, and you come down on him like he's walking out on his marriage. Not very nice.
John_O, Thanks for capturing my thoughts. I am not giving up. I am looking to not stray either physically or digitally.
I also think that gaining weight is always linked to something under the surface. And that is what I hope for her to understand and get help with.
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RE: Overwieght Women - 10/14/2008 12:29:48 PM
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JimboFletch
Posts: 6628
Joined: 4/11/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: AslansChild
I also think that gaining weight is always linked to something under the surface. And that is what I hope for her to understand and get help with.
Really? Might it not just be inattention and being focused on life?
Between 1980 and 1999, I slowly put on 55 pounds. Life was good. I was involved with my wife, kids, and a lot of other interesting things, including a job I enjoyed. But I had never intentionally exercised as an adult, I ate what I wanted, and didn't weigh myself during those 19 years (age 28 to 47).
When I finally realized how far I had let myself go, I changed my lifestyle and dropped 50 pounds over 12 months through food and exercise - which I continue to do over 9 years later.
The point is, I became obese with nothing going on under the surface. It just happened because I did nothing to prevent it. Life happens.
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