Turning the Other Cheek (Full Version)

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ladyichigo -> Turning the Other Cheek (8/21/2008 5:19:16 PM)

This came into my mind when I was reading a response that was posted HERE (post #94)

Being brought up in a Christian household, I was taught to "turn the other cheek" when people said or did unfriendly things to me. As an adult, now I understand that turning the other cheek is to not retaliate or do it back to them (revenge). But as a child I thought it meant to "do nothing/ignore them". Throughout Jr. High I was constantly taunted about my body by male students in my P.E. class as I was not as "developed" as the other girls in our class. They splashed muddy water on me as they walked behind me if there were puddles. At one point one of the boys spat out his phlegm on me. When I told my mother about it, she just brushed it off as "they tease you because they like you". She told me to continue to "do nothing" and they will eventually go away. She even told me how Jesus did nothing when he was brought before the Sanhedrin and spat upon. So, as my mother said, I continued to do nothing, but the taunting got worse and worse. I was afraid to tell them to stop because I felt they would just do it more. I was afraid to report them to the teacher because I feared that would make them do worse things to me.

I'm not really sure how to word this question: How can "turning the other cheek" be a positive thing for the one being taunted in this case? Because to me, in Jr. High, turning the other cheek only served to show to those that were taunting me, that I had no guts, that I couldn't stand up for myself and that they could continue to tease/taunt me or whatever without consequence so they continued to ridicule me.

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Little_1 -> RE: Turning the Other Cheek (8/21/2008 5:34:09 PM)

I too was bullied and was likewise told to ignore the bullies. However, in my case what I believed was 'turning the other cheek' resulted in 'passivity' and therefore I supressed a lot of bad feelings which did me no good and did not result in honesty! Likewise, I was afraid I would get a harder time if I did say anything in retaliation and so thought it best to say nothing because of this and only because of this. I was still hurting and upset underneath and wanted to get revenge and would have gone out for revenge but for fear I would come off worse. Therefore, from this experience, I'm not sure if 'turning the other cheek' has any positive effect in this kind of situation or similar situations unless you are a Christian and know what is meant by this according to Scripture that is.

I'm sure you have heard the saying:

quote:

Unknown
"Christian meekness isn't weakness - it's strength under control."


Meekness is knowing you can have revenge but choose not to do so. Such meekness has a positive effect because such builds Christian character.

I'm not sure how a non regenerate mind can truly experience the meaning of 'turning the other cheek' however.



deliveredarling -> RE: Turning the Other Cheek (8/21/2008 5:36:46 PM)

Mari, I truly don't believe that we are to lay down as doormats and take another beating up on us.

I don't believe we are to retaliate in any form, but we are to forgive.

Turning the other cheek can show the abuser that love is the greater cause here. You know, that verse about heaping piles of coal on one's head? I think it means that. A kindness shown towards an enemy.

Kids can be very cruel. The Bible does tell us to rebuke one another in love. Situations like the one you are describing certainly falls under being worthy of rebuke! ( That and some kids getting hinder reminders from their parents).

I can give you the preachy answers, however, the truth be known, I'm gonna defend my kid. I absolutely can not stand to hear some one mercilessly tease another or bully another.

The positives that come out it: You know how to treat people and you've learned how not to treat people.
Kindness is the worst kind of payback[:D]



ladyichigo -> RE: Turning the Other Cheek (8/21/2008 5:39:45 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Little_1

Turning the other cheek could be explained perhaps by meekness. I'm sure you have heard the explanation for meekness that says:

quote:

Unknown
"Meekness isn't weakness - it's strength under control."


I too was bullied and was likewise told to ignore the perpetrators. However, in my case I was being 'passive' and not displaying meekness! I was afraid I would get a harder time if I did say anything in retaliation. I was still hurting and upset underneath and wanted to get revenge but I was afraid to.

Meekness however, is knowing you can have revenge but choose not to do so.


I just heard someone say that quote yesterday on the radio after I dropped my daughter off at school!

I too was afraid that I would get a hard time if I did or say anything in retaliation.



deliveredarling -> RE: Turning the Other Cheek (8/21/2008 5:41:16 PM)

quote:


Meekness however, is knowing you can have revenge but choose not to do so.


I love that one!!!!!!!



Liveloved -> RE: Turning the Other Cheek (8/21/2008 5:44:03 PM)

Mari,
We had similar parenting.[:)] I, too, was taught to turn the other cheek. So as my neighbor playmate pounded me with her fists, I took it. I never hit back. This went on throughout my childhood.

My parents were not wrong in teaching me to turn the other cheek. And I do not regret doing as they instructed me to do.

But what needs to accompany this instruction and teaching is the LOVE that nonretaliation communicates. Whether we see it, feel it, or experience it in any way, we are speaking LOVE to the person doing the hitting. And that is clearly what Jesus wants us to do. I was living LOVE to my neighbor just as Jesus lived (and died) LOVE to me. I didn't know it then (re: what I was doing in regard to loving my neighbor as I took her punches). I wish I had.

So, Mari, I hope you will feel encouraged by knowing that you lived LOVE to these boys. Many people do not acknowledge or receive LOVE. But that just helps you identify more closely with Jesus. He LOVES and is rejected, ignored, spat upon and beat up. But it's still LOVE.

Blessings, [:)]LL



ladyichigo -> RE: Turning the Other Cheek (8/21/2008 5:49:28 PM)

Okay, so now I have another question.[:)]

In regards to meekness: Being meek means to have self control, to know that you can do something, (i.e. retaliate/take revenge in this case) but choose not to. BUT how does being meek stop the oppressor from continuing to do their oppressing? How does being meek show that person that you CAN do something, but you choose not to? Or does that even matter?



deliveredarling -> RE: Turning the Other Cheek (8/21/2008 5:55:58 PM)

quote:

BUT how does being meek stop the oppressor from continuing to do their oppressing?


Standing up for ourselves does not mean it has to be done in retaliation. Walk away, go to a teacher, protect yourself.

I think we are missing something with the turn the other cheek thing. It sounds nice....
But remember when Jesus told His disciples to take a sword and a purse?

The sword wasn't just for show, it was for protection since He knew that people would be coming up against them because of Him.

He wouldn't contradict himself, so I think we just might not be hitting on the right thing here. JMHO.



Little_1 -> RE: Turning the Other Cheek (8/21/2008 5:58:54 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ladyichigo

Okay, so now I have another question.[:)]

In regards to meekness: Being meek means to have self control, to know that you can do something, (i.e. retaliate/take revenge in this case) but choose not to. BUT how does being meek stop the oppressor from continuing to do their oppressing? How does being meek show that person that you CAN do something, but you choose not to? Or does that even matter?


True meekness does often affect the oppressor in a way which can bring genuine repentance. Have you ever read the book called, 'The Cross and the Switchblade' by David Wilkerson? This gives a brilliant example of the testimony of meekness. It is also on film. Wonderful example of teaching re: meekness.



ladyichigo -> RE: Turning the Other Cheek (8/21/2008 6:06:29 PM)

I guess I'm asking all these questions because I do not want my daughter to go through the same thing I did. I do teach her to turn the other cheek, and teach her it means to not do it back to them, to not pay wrong with wrong. I am also teaching her that she needs to bold and bring any troubles up to the person in charge/teacher/parent, and that she should NOT be afraid to do so (like I was). I am teaching her meekness. She's a tough cookie and she is physically capable of beating people up (as she towers over some of the kids in her class) if she so chooses and holding her own, but I tell her to do her very best to keep her hands to herself and control herself. I teach her that she is not in the position to discipline them. She learned the hard way last year by actually pushing back when she was pushed, or kicking back when someone pushed her. She's the one that ended up in the principal's office, and not the person that did it to her first. I have been teaching her that even if the kids are mean to her, that she needs to still care for them and be kind to them because people are special. I even explained to her that God made everyone special (in His image) and that's why we should not be mean to them, we need to care for them and be kind to them. She does still offer her friendship with them regardless of them teasing her.

I hope I'm doing the right thing in a biblical perspective.



Little_1 -> RE: Turning the Other Cheek (8/21/2008 6:09:00 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Liveloved
My parents were not wrong in teaching me to turn the other cheek. And I do not regret doing as they instructed me to do.

But what needs to accompany this instruction and teaching is the LOVE that nonretaliation communicates. Whether we see it, feel it, or experience it in any way, we are speaking LOVE to the person doing the hitting. And that is clearly what Jesus wants us to do. I was living LOVE to my neighbor just as Jesus lived (and died) LOVE to me. I didn't know it then (re: what I was doing in regard to loving my neighbor as I took her punches). I wish I had......

Blessings, [:)]LL


This was what was missing from the way I was taught, i.e. LOVE. My mum (bless her efforts to help) was not a Christian at this time and neither was I at the time she was teaching me to 'turn the other cheek'. I could not understand what good there could be by doing so because I did not have this complete teaching. As I previously explained, I too obeyed my mum but mainly because I was afraid if I didn't I'd get a beating from the bullies. This is why I could not understand how 'turning the other cheek' was a good thing to do (other than I may prevent a further beating). It just did not make sense to me then as I did not have the mind of Christ concerning this teaching and I did not have the teaching in it's full context either.



Liveloved -> RE: Turning the Other Cheek (8/21/2008 6:09:52 PM)

quote:

True meekness does often affect the oppressor in a way which can bring genuine repentance. Have you ever read the book called, 'The Cross and the Switchblade' by David Wilkerson? This gives a brilliant example of the testimony of meekness. It is also on film. Wonderful example of teaching re: meekness.


Little_1 is right on here, Mari. It's not about them. It's about YOU walking as Jesus would have you walk. . . and as He Himself walked while on earth.

Meekness is controlled strength. Jesus is the strongest yet He withheld His strength and lived in meekness. He could have called down the angels to defend Him. He didn't. In fact, when they came looking for Him, He stepped forward and volunteered Himself. Controlled strength. They killed Him. That's often the result of meekness. Death. That's why it is such an offensive teaching.

Don't worry about the others, Mari. God saw how you lived. You responded rightly. You walked out love even though you didn't understand it. I did the same with my friend. Whether they ever get it is not what is important in this instance. Bless you.



ladyichigo -> RE: Turning the Other Cheek (8/21/2008 6:09:54 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: deliveredarling

quote:

BUT how does being meek stop the oppressor from continuing to do their oppressing?


Standing up for ourselves does not mean it has to be done in retaliation. Walk away, go to a teacher, protect yourself.

I think we are missing something with the turn the other cheek thing. It sounds nice....
But remember when Jesus told His disciples to take a sword and a purse?

The sword wasn't just for show, it was for protection since He knew that people would be coming up against them because of Him.

He wouldn't contradict himself, so I think we just might not be hitting on the right thing here. JMHO.

I agree. [:)]



ladyichigo -> RE: Turning the Other Cheek (8/21/2008 6:11:34 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Liveloved

quote:

True meekness does often affect the oppressor in a way which can bring genuine repentance. Have you ever read the book called, 'The Cross and the Switchblade' by David Wilkerson? This gives a brilliant example of the testimony of meekness. It is also on film. Wonderful example of teaching re: meekness.


Little_1 is right on here, Mari. It's not about them. It's about YOU walking as Jesus would have you walk. . . and as He Himself walked while on earth.

Meekness is controlled strength. Jesus is the strongest yet He withheld His strength and lived in meekness. He could have called down the angels to defend Him. He didn't. In fact, when they came looking for Him, He stepped forward and volunteered Himself. Controlled strength. They killed Him. That's often the result of meekness. Death. That's why it is such an offensive teaching.

Don't worry about the others, Mari. God saw how you lived. You responded rightly. You walked out love even though you didn't understand it. I did the same with my friend. Whether they ever get it is not what is important in this instance. Bless you.


I understand that now as an adult. I wish I had that bit of wisdom at that age.



Sadey -> RE: Turning the Other Cheek (8/21/2008 6:31:48 PM)

It sounds like youare doing it exactly right. Expecting a child to turn the other cheek, getting hurt day after day, without Mom or Dad stepping in to protect them is just plain nuts. Just because its another kid hurting them doesn't make it hurt less. There is always some teasing and pushing and hitting going on in schools and if minor those are the situations you use to teach your child to handle by using words or "turning the other cheek", but when it turns into abuse, its time for the adults to step in and put a stop to it.

You have learned from your childhood how hurtful and damaging it is and are using that to teach and protect your daughter. Good for you[:)]

Any time a child is being consistently bullied and teased means that there has been a breakdown of adult authority. Someone is not doing their job.



Lapidoth -> RE: Turning the Other Cheek (8/27/2008 12:03:53 PM)

I've only skimmed this thread but did want to share and
experience I had with my son. I, too, have always avoided
fighting, etc. in school. I was puched in the face by someone
bigger than me. I didn't turn because of fear, but I just turned
and walked away from a fight. Right? Who really knows?

My oldest son when he was a kid was always being harrassed
by his cousin which was a bully like his dad. I taught my kids
to "turn the other cheek" "violence isn't the answer." etc.

But one day enough was enough. I told my son, "Look at him,
you're bigger than he is." Bullies bully those who won't call them
down. I told him the next time he shoved him around not to shove
him back as I have always told him, but this time I told him to take
him down and sit on him. Boy, was he surprised. LOL The cousin
that is. And he never bothered my son from that day on.

It's a judgment call every time. But, we are not the world's doormats.



P31W -> RE: Turning the Other Cheek (8/27/2008 1:30:29 PM)

quote:

How can "turning the other cheek" be a positive thing for the one being taunted in this case?


Let's put the passage in it's proper context. Otherwise people use it inorder to sit under abuse.

This is "part" of the Sermon on the MT. which covers chapters 5-7...one continueous passage.

Matthew 5:38-42
38 "You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.'

You have "heard" it said. Jesus is talking about what the Rabbis were falsely teaching about the law concerning proper punishment. The Rabbis taught if someone harmed you - then it was you RIGHT to cause them harm back. This law was never to be applied on an individual basis and was to help judges know the "limit" to put on punishment so that it was just and fair....not overboard.

39 But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person.


Notice Jesus is talking about a "lost person" and how we as Believers are to respond.

If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. 40 And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. 41 If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. 42 Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.

Jesus is talking here about the extent we are to go as "believers" inorder to bring someone to Christ. We are to give up our "pride" (slap was a sign of spitting in your face - humiation) We are to give up our cloak inorder words if we are sent before a judge and the judge orders that we were in the wrong and the judgement is our shirt go the extra mile to show to the lost person we didn't mean them harm rather good - The going the extra mile deals with Roman soldiers whom the Jews hated having the legal right to force them to carry their equiptment a mile. Go the extra mile inorder to show that soldier that you care about "him" and not just obeying the law. Give to the one who ask is about being willing to give up of our material possessions/money if doing so helps us win a lost person to Christ.

The entire passage deals with using and doing whatever we can inorder to bring someone to Christ. If we try these things and they are of no avail then God does not tell us to just "take abuse".



URForgiven -> RE: Turning the Other Cheek (8/27/2008 2:08:35 PM)

When I was younger I once turned both of my cheeks to someone that had offended me. And I wasn't even a Christian then.

[did I say that outloud? [sm=eek.gif] ]

Peace



deliveredarling -> RE: Turning the Other Cheek (8/27/2008 2:25:43 PM)

quote:

When I was younger I once turned both of my cheeks to someone that had offended me. And I wasn't even a Christian then.

[did I say that outloud? ]

[:D][:D][:D][:D][:D]

Nuttin prettier than a full moon[:D]



KnowJesus -> RE: Turning the Other Cheek (8/27/2008 3:38:43 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: P31W

quote:

How can "turning the other cheek" be a positive thing for the one being taunted in this case?


Let's put the passage in it's proper context. Otherwise people use it inorder to sit under abuse.

This is "part" of the Sermon on the MT. which covers chapters 5-7...one continueous passage.

Matthew 5:38-42
38 "You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.'

You have "heard" it said. Jesus is talking about what the Rabbis were falsely teaching about the law concerning proper punishment. The Rabbis taught if someone harmed you - then it was you RIGHT to cause them harm back. This law was never to be applied on an individual basis and was to help judges know the "limit" to put on punishment so that it was just and fair....not overboard.

39 But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person.


Notice Jesus is talking about a "lost person" and how we as Believers are to respond.

If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. 40 And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. 41 If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. 42 Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.

Jesus is talking here about the extent we are to go as "believers" inorder to bring someone to Christ. We are to give up our "pride" (slap was a sign of spitting in your face - humiation) We are to give up our cloak inorder words if we are sent before a judge and the judge orders that we were in the wrong and the judgement is our shirt go the extra mile to show to the lost person we didn't mean them harm rather good - The going the extra mile deals with Roman soldiers whom the Jews hated having the legal right to force them to carry their equiptment a mile. Go the extra mile inorder to show that soldier that you care about "him" and not just obeying the law. Give to the one who ask is about being willing to give up of our material possessions/money if doing so helps us win a lost person to Christ.

The entire passage deals with using and doing whatever we can inorder to bring someone to Christ. If we try these things and they are of no avail then God does not tell us to just "take abuse".


Thanks P31W...This clarified alot for me, concerning this topic.



ladyichigo -> RE: Turning the Other Cheek (8/27/2008 4:35:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: P31W

quote:

How can "turning the other cheek" be a positive thing for the one being taunted in this case?


Let's put the passage in it's proper context. Otherwise people use it inorder to sit under abuse.

This is "part" of the Sermon on the MT. which covers chapters 5-7...one continueous passage.

Matthew 5:38-42
38 "You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.'

You have "heard" it said. Jesus is talking about what the Rabbis were falsely teaching about the law concerning proper punishment. The Rabbis taught if someone harmed you - then it was you RIGHT to cause them harm back. This law was never to be applied on an individual basis and was to help judges know the "limit" to put on punishment so that it was just and fair....not overboard.

39 But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person.


Notice Jesus is talking about a "lost person" and how we as Believers are to respond.

If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. 40 And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. 41 If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. 42 Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.

Jesus is talking here about the extent we are to go as "believers" inorder to bring someone to Christ. We are to give up our "pride" (slap was a sign of spitting in your face - humiation) We are to give up our cloak inorder words if we are sent before a judge and the judge orders that we were in the wrong and the judgement is our shirt go the extra mile to show to the lost person we didn't mean them harm rather good - The going the extra mile deals with Roman soldiers whom the Jews hated having the legal right to force them to carry their equiptment a mile. Go the extra mile inorder to show that soldier that you care about "him" and not just obeying the law. Give to the one who ask is about being willing to give up of our material possessions/money if doing so helps us win a lost person to Christ.

The entire passage deals with using and doing whatever we can inorder to bring someone to Christ. If we try these things and they are of no avail then God does not tell us to just "take abuse".



Thank you for clarifying the context of this "cheeky" passage [;)]
It makes better sense.

So, all that time I was letting those boys bully me based on a passage that was taught out of context![:@]



Dancre -> RE: Turning the Other Cheek (8/27/2008 10:05:35 PM)

It's more than you do nothing. You forgive and trust God to work on the situation. Paul tells us to be nice to them as that is like pouring hot coals on their heads. Romans 12:12 Also when we forgive, it gives God room to move. Do you remember when Paul stood by while others stoned Stephen to death? Remember his prayer? God forgive them? That simple forgiveness opened the door so God could work on Paul and bring him into God's kingdom. When we forgive, we give God room to work with that person. When we refuse to forgive, we basically tell God to get lost, I'll deal with this one.


quote:

ORIGINAL: ladyichigo

This came into my mind when I was reading a response that was posted HERE (post #94)

Being brought up in a Christian household, I was taught to "turn the other cheek" when people said or did unfriendly things to me. As an adult, now I understand that turning the other cheek is to not retaliate or do it back to them (revenge). But as a child I thought it meant to "do nothing/ignore them". Throughout Jr. High I was constantly taunted about my body by male students in my P.E. class as I was not as "developed" as the other girls in our class. They splashed muddy water on me as they walked behind me if there were puddles. At one point one of the boys spat out his phlegm on me. When I told my mother about it, she just brushed it off as "they tease you because they like you". She told me to continue to "do nothing" and they will eventually go away. She even told me how Jesus did nothing when he was brought before the Sanhedrin and spat upon. So, as my mother said, I continued to do nothing, but the taunting got worse and worse. I was afraid to tell them to stop because I felt they would just do it more. I was afraid to report them to the teacher because I feared that would make them do worse things to me.

I'm not really sure how to word this question: How can "turning the other cheek" be a positive thing for the one being taunted in this case? Because to me, in Jr. High, turning the other cheek only served to show to those that were taunting me, that I had no guts, that I couldn't stand up for myself and that they could continue to tease/taunt me or whatever without consequence so they continued to ridicule me.

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