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MWD -> RE: Another tomboy question (8/15/2008 1:27:11 PM)
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> Is my personality a turn off for some men? I'd like to be seen as feminine than
> masculine without appearing helpless.
Fuhgeddaboudit. ;-) That won't work with everyone. Lots of guys will always see a walking, breathing contradiction that makes them nervous because a) it assaults their narrow, two-dimensional preconceptions of "woman," b) it invades their territory -- the one where risk and self-sufficiency exist, to which they always envisioned themselves having exclusive rights, and c) it forces them (the men) to have to stand upon and be valued for the people they are, not for the actions/risks they take or for the services/help they can provide but that you have no need of.
I guess my point is, be yourself. If you meet someone and he goes gaga over you, then you'll want that to have happened because he likes you, not the add-ons and the enhancements and perhaps even the things slightly-repressed to try to appeal to a wider audience -- things that will stress you out over time trying to maintain or hold in abeyance.
I'll give you an analog from the male side. (And, no thanks, I'm not looking for a date from anyone here.) I'm a Reagan conservative, extremely self-sufficient, used to be an NRA Certified Firearms Instructor, rode dirt bikes like a madman in my more-flexible years, do most of my own truck maintenance including the 1-ton, do all my own electrical and plumbing, ride a Harley-Davidson Sportster that I work on myself, have thighs like dreams from horseback riding, and have an outstandingly tiny backside that someone once told me ought to be severely reprimanded for the things it does whenever I'm walking. So... typical man, right? Wait: I hate hiking, hate mountain bikes, hate sports and especially hate football and refuse to watch it even on TV, but like Antique stores and unique gift shops, have a small collection of depression glass, have a bunch of cats, liked "The Piano" and did understand the point of it thank you very much, like women with small breasts, have extremely close female friends whose belt buckles I have no desire to unfasten, and like writing love stories with no sex in them that turn hearts to syrup. And you know what? If someone can't appreciate this very desirable package of contradictions [:D], then let her, and everyone else for that matter, look elsewhere. (There's a three-word equivalent on the loose in the common language, but I'm told you can't write that sort of thing here.)
Stay the way you are, that's my advice. Or at minimum, don't go past the point where you stand in front of the mirror one morning and think, "You know... this really isn't me, and it never was."
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