Is it easy to sleep with your spouse? (Full Version)

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Beanteaser -> Is it easy to sleep with your spouse? (8/13/2008 5:53:07 PM)

Now when I say "sleep" I mean sleep not "sleep". [;)]

I have been married for almost 2 years and find it difficult to get a good night sleep with my beautiful wife in the same bed. During a recent vacation up to the cabin, we slept in different beds to accommodate other family members. I slept so well when I was the only one in the bed.

I am wondering if I will ever get used to it so I can sleep a little better. Does anyone else have this problem. If you do/did, how are you dealing with it?



shadowspring -> RE: Is it easy to sleep with your spouse? (8/13/2008 6:01:43 PM)

I have earplugs, and on the rare occasions that his snoring is too loud for the earplugs to help, he sleeps in the guest bed or on the couch.

I have a friend that has a separate bedroom from her dearly loved husband for similar reasons. They are very much in love, and with both getting a good night's sleep, healthy and happy too. [:D]



manda59 -> RE: Is it easy to sleep with your spouse? (8/13/2008 6:20:47 PM)

The only way I can sleep with my dh is in a BIG bed (UK King Size or larger). I just cannot sleep if any part of me is touching any part of him in any way.

Something you might want to consider is buying two beds that zip together to make one big bed - that will give you more space and also the full support that the mattress offers.



Memaw. -> RE: Is it easy to sleep with your spouse? (8/13/2008 8:51:17 PM)

I have a hard time sleeping with Rick due to snoring BUT I have a harder time sleeping if he's not beside me.



karlie -> RE: Is it easy to sleep with your spouse? (8/13/2008 9:05:39 PM)

I just spent 2 weeks away from my husband(I was across country visiting our daughter) and slept terribly every single night! I came home last night and slept wonderfully curled up with him again. I like the contact we have as we drift off. We've been married for 27 years, so it feels strange at this point to be apart at night.



MC4JC -> RE: Is it easy to sleep with your spouse? (8/13/2008 9:26:04 PM)

What seems to be your biggest problem? What size bed do you share? DH and I love to cuddle but it gets hot sometimes and I can't stand that :)

One of the biggest problems I had with my ex (among the abuse stuff) was the fact he was a snorer and I could NOT stand to sleep with him. I think it was only a few months of actually sleeping in the same bed - for the rest of the 17 yrs we slept in separate beds.



Mrs.Wifey -> RE: Is it easy to sleep with your spouse? (8/13/2008 10:23:21 PM)

It took some getting used to, and we each had to figure out how we slept best. I cannot sleep with much contact, I do not like to snuggle while I sleep. DH, on the other hand, would love it if I snuggled all night long. The compromise is that we usually sleep back-to-back and that is enough contact for him, and little enough for me.



loveleee -> RE: Is it easy to sleep with your spouse? (8/13/2008 10:24:40 PM)

We are currently in a full size (yes full...) He sleeps fine but I do not go to sleep until 2 or 3 in the morning due to the fact that I can no longer keep my eyes open. I am not a cuddle touchy person, I need my space. We are planning on getting a new bed when we move and I plan on getting the biggest bed that I can find.



Ellie-Mae -> RE: Is it easy to sleep with your spouse? (8/13/2008 10:26:46 PM)

My hubby is very snuggly. We are always touching somewhere, we are just like that. So here am I, staying up late again because my hubby is away and won't be home until tomorrow.[:o]



MrsTracy72 -> RE: Is it easy to sleep with your spouse? (8/14/2008 12:01:31 AM)

Ever since we got the king size bed it is. My hubby sleeps in the middle of the bed and he is not the snuggly type so he is just in the way.



42servehymn -> RE: Is it easy to sleep with your spouse? (8/14/2008 12:27:12 AM)

My husband and I have slept in a full size (double) bed for 25 years. We are cuddlers unless it is too hot but even then we are touching somehow.



3cappuccinosmom -> RE: Is it easy to sleep with your spouse? (8/14/2008 6:29:41 AM)

I have trouble sleeping if he's *not* there.

There are times when I really don't feel like cuddling, and times when he doesn't feel like it, but even if we are sleeping on opposite edges of the bed for comfort, we are always touching, either holding hands or playing footsie. [8D]



PrincessDonna -> RE: Is it easy to sleep with your spouse? (8/14/2008 7:38:22 AM)

He pulls the blankets from me all night long. He pushes me to the edge of the bed and won't move over (sometimes I climb over him to the OTHER side to sleep!). He snores loudly and passes gas continually.[&:] He is not easy to sleep with, but I so cannot wait for the day we can snuggle in the same bed again. We don't snuggle all night, but we always start and end the night with a long snuggle and are usually touching somehow most of the night.

When we are able to sleep in the same bed again, I'm sure it will be awkward for a while. I'll be afraid that I'm going to hurt him. He broke most of his left side in a car accident three weeks ago.[:(] Enjoy your night time with your spouse, even if they are difficult to sleep with.



VisitorinWaiting -> RE: Is it easy to sleep with your spouse? (8/14/2008 10:03:53 AM)

As others have said, you will likely get to the point that it's hard to sleep WITHOUT your spouse there. When my spouse is not in the bed with me, whether he's working late, and I know he'll be there eventually or going overnight with family...it's hard when he's not there to get any sleep at all. I always end up going to bed MUCH later than usual, and then not being able to get to sleep for quite some time.



car2ner -> RE: Is it easy to sleep with your spouse? (8/14/2008 12:46:19 PM)

We are high contact sleepers, when we turn over we do it at the same time... kinda like a sleep dance. So I have no advice for those who have a hard time falling asleep in the same bed.



Zhi -> RE: Is it easy to sleep with your spouse? (8/14/2008 12:53:15 PM)

I can't sleep without him...

I second the motion of a decent-sized bed, though, and would add that pocket-spring mattresses or memory foam mattress or the like help a lot. Basically if the springs react individually you get a lot less motion-transfer so even if your spouse is tossing a bit you don't feel it much, same with foam from what I understand. We have a Beautyrest but I'm sure other brands have similar stuff.



ta_mosquito -> RE: Is it easy to sleep with your spouse? (8/14/2008 12:54:40 PM)

After two years, I'd think you'd be used to it by now. If you aren't, then you'll have to change something - either a larger bed or separate ones. And no, separate beds is not indicative of a bad marriage!

For the first month or so of our marriage, it was difficult to sleep. Of course, we were on a double size futon at the time, too. [&:] We bought a queen sized bed and are now perfectly comfortable. (And when we do need to sleep in a double, we're good, too.)

What does your wife think of it?



macokjc -> RE: Is it easy to sleep with your spouse? (8/14/2008 1:02:38 PM)

I have a hard time sleeping when he is gone - but I can't fall asleep if anybody is touching me. I vote that you just need a bigger bed. A full size is pretty small for two grown-ups.



TorchHeart -> RE: Is it easy to sleep with your spouse? (8/14/2008 1:49:53 PM)

Let's just say that I can fully understand how the Georgian Republic feels with Russia coming in.

My side of the bed is routinely conquored and occupied during the night, and the previous inhabitants (me) is forced to reside on some small island until it is liberated. Except that the liberation force never seems to show up until about dawn. [;)]



Beanteaser -> RE: Is it easy to sleep with your spouse? (8/14/2008 5:30:38 PM)

Instead of trying to respond to everyone, I'll try to address most of the ideas in this post.

A lot of the contact keeps me up. She'll usually fall asleep before I do and is usually towards the center of the bed. If I try to get more comfortable, she is usually in the way. Many times, I am right on the edge of the bed to avoid this contact. My body gets tense (from what she tells me) when I try to avoid contact with her and falling off the bed.

Neither of us really snore, so that isn't an issue, but a couple of other ways she keeps me up are hogging the blankets and tossing and turning. Also, I get too warm fairly easy when she is right next to me.

We have a queen size bed. It is large enough if she stays on her side of the bed. We did talk about getting the larger king size bed but decided to keep the queen since the bedroom set is still fairly new along with the sheets and blankets we got from the wedding. If we replaced them, it would add up too quick.

I have contemplated sleeping in the guest room, but so far haven't done it yet.

I am confident if she stays on her side I'll sleep easier but am wondering if it will eventually be a non issue. Plus, it sounds like after time, I won't be able to sleep with out her.......we'll see.

Thanks for the advice!! [:D]



ta_mosquito -> RE: Is it easy to sleep with your spouse? (8/14/2008 8:14:39 PM)

And this, newlyweds, is why you don't buy a bedroom set right off the bat. Gotta figure out which size bed you need first! [8D]

Regarding the blanket hog thing: one thing I've started doing is getting king sized blankets for our queen size bed. Then there's more blanket to share. [;)] Of course, if you have all the blankets you need, this won't work. You could also put a blanket or two just on your side of the bed, maybe a couple twin or full size you still have. Then she can have the one set, and you can have the other.

You could try rolling up a towel or two and putting them between the two of you at night. That might possibly keep her on her side of the bed.



TorchHeart -> RE: Is it easy to sleep with your spouse? (8/14/2008 9:06:26 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ta_mosquito

And this, newlyweds, is why you don't buy a bedroom set right off the bat. Gotta figure out which size bed you need first! [8D]




Dude, the size is easy to figure out.... Just go king. Trust me! Spend the extra $250 or whatever it is, and get yourself and your spouse a good night's sleep (more often than not). You'll thank me for this advice later. [;)]



macokjc -> RE: Is it easy to sleep with your spouse? (8/14/2008 9:26:47 PM)

Oh man, I hear your pain. Last year we bought a tempurpedic queen size bed. We thought and debated about buying a king, but our bedroom set is a queen and we didn't have money to buy a new one and I liked everything matched etc. etc. etc........ So, at least once a week hubby and I look at each other and say "Wow, I wish we bought a king." Especially w/ baby #5 on the way; I just want my room to breathe. However, the tempurpedic itself is the best bed I have ever slept on.



elastic -> RE: Is it easy to sleep with your spouse? (8/15/2008 9:43:10 AM)

DH has been out of town all week (again) and I am having a terrible time resting. We have a queen size bed and we too go to sleep touching and cuddling. Even on the nights where neither of us feels like skin touching (for instance, when it's 100 degrees outside and it's too hot) we still sleep well because there is another person in the bed. to me, it's very comforting.

he is a blanket hog though. i call him tootsie roll because somehow me manages to get the blanket and roll him self up in it like a tootsie roll. i solved this problem by buying a separate blanket. now, we have no problem. he has all the blanket he needs, i have all the blanket i need, and we have each other.

i dunno, without him there, the bed feels so big and empty. i pile up a bunch of pillows in his spot and that helps a little, but there's nothing like the real thing.

we are very lucky that we sleep so well together.



Angie_K -> RE: Is it easy to sleep with your spouse? (8/15/2008 10:31:31 AM)

Just push her over. She'll go right back to sleep. I do it all the time to my hubby who is a very light sleeper. He doesn't get upset. He just rolls over and goes back to sleep. He loves to cuddle. Me, no so much, so when he's too close ~ i just give him a push (gently. I don't push him off the bed!) but just enough to get him to move over. It took him a while to get used to it but now that I have him trained ~ he just moves over.[:D]

It doesn't sound like either one of you are getting much sleep really. If she's tossing and turning ~ she's not sleeping properly either. I wouldn't go without sleep though. It's too important to get enough. I'd hit the couch or spare bedroom before I would lay awake all night. But that's just me. I've done it before and I would do it again!! Cuz I get rather grumpy if I don't get enough sleep and hubby doesn't like that at all.

I also get cold while he sleeps very warm so I have a throw that I put on my side just for me - and the pooch.

You'll work it out.



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