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Covaan_Meshuga -> RE: Why does God leave people single when the desire in their heart is to be married? (8/10/2008 4:40:00 AM)
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Sis, I married young -- at 19.5. Widowed at 27, I remained single for ten years. Ten years of singleness does not give me a lot of knowledge in this area, especially since I had two children, too. However, being single is what one makes it. I had choices during that time: I could feel bad or I could make it fun and exciting. I usually chose the latter.
I am not going to claim that I could have pulled that off for another 10, 20, or 30 years, but I think there is a fair possibility that I could have.
But when one is married, that one is married to another individual with their own goals, their own agenda, their own wishes, their own will. The married do not have just their own goals, agendas, wishes, and will. The married are subjected to someone else's goals, agendas, wishes, and will. Sometimes, the other person's goals, agendas, wishes, and will run completely counter to their partner's.
Do you know what is worse than being single and lonely? Being married and lonely. Marriage is rarely all we expect. Some marriages never will even come near to happy, while other marriages will take years of hard, hard work to become happy. And there is no marriage in the world that was a good marriage unless the couple continually worked for it.
But let me tell you a couple stories. I was involved in both.
Story #1
On the other side of town, last week, a woman was finally standing up to a man who had made her life and those of the children miserable. She had finally had enough. She booted him. He left her with hundreds of dollars in unexpected bills. She did the right thing, but she is going to pay for it. When we talked, though, she told me that it would be worth every penny to have him gone. She is a real nice person -- compassionate and loving. He only knew how to use her. She is embarking on singleness with joy.
Story #2
A few months ago, a lady told me that from childhood, she never thought anyone would ever marry her, so she never gave marriage any thought. "Who would want me?" she told me she wondered. I could not understand her, because she is not only the one of the sweetest people I have ever met, but she is absolutely cute! Who wouldn't have wanted the privilege of a relationship with her?
But she had been going with a man for 18 years. They lived together for the first thirteen, because they didn't know any better, and she didn't think he would marry her anyway.
Then five years ago, the two of them went to church and were saved. They went home, and she began to be convicted. Three days later, she left him and rented a house. But they loved each other, so they continued a relationship -- one of purity.
Last week, she was the bride at age 40 and for the first time, and the groom is somewhere around that age. She looked so beautiful in her long, slender dress, and he was absolutely glowing. You should have heard the vows! They were said with knowledge, with conviction, with intention. It wasn't like the young who are befuddled with all the activity and the prospect of the party; they knew what they were doing. They were mature enough to understand.
Both stories took place in one week. It was amazing to watch.
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