Neglected, Loving by Nature, or bonded? (Full Version)

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zippty_day -> Neglected, Loving by Nature, or bonded? (8/8/2008 3:41:57 PM)

My husband and I are missionaries living in Mexico and through a relationship we were given a baby to care for and now we want to adopt him.

Lately, the idea has come up that perhaps the baby didn't come from an unloving home because he's so affectionate. He's almost 4 months old. We've also had contact with his other siblings ages, 1, 2, and 5 years old. Has anyone else out there with experience with foster/adopted babies found that even though neglected and abandoned the children were very loving by nature? Meaning that they seemed almost unaffected by the abandonment?



March7 -> RE: Neglected, Loving by Nature, or bonded? (8/9/2008 2:41:33 PM)

Having never adopted a child, I do not know, but I suspect it can be true...as I've met children and adults who should be full of fear and/or bitterness but are just sweeter than anything. Blessings to you as you love this little guy! [sm=heart.gif]



barbhuff -> RE: Neglected, Loving by Nature, or bonded? (8/9/2008 7:35:24 PM)

At four months old, he's just starting to form an attachment. Babies "attach" by having someone regularly meet their needs at that age. Attachment is the end result of the "I cry- my caregiver responds giving me what I need in a pleasant and timely manner- I am content" cycle which leads to attachment.

Another words, he's happy right now because he's being cared for. That is the cornerstone of his entire life-- the way he's being cared for now.

We have adopted four and one has attachment issues because of the disruptions in her young life.



zippty_day -> RE: Neglected, Loving by Nature, or bonded? (8/9/2008 9:43:14 PM)

Barb, We may be going on vacation out of the country for a week and 1/2 and can't take the baby with us. Is this terrible or will he be OK? I have some wonderful grandmother's that he can stay with.



barbhuff -> RE: Neglected, Loving by Nature, or bonded? (8/9/2008 10:02:46 PM)

He'll be fine, hon. He'll miss you, and he'll be glad to see you when you get back.

It's so hard to leave them, isn't it? I struggle with them every time I have to!



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