RE: Ack!! I’ve got to clean my legs & shave the house! . . .
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RE: Ack!! I’ve got to clean my legs & shave the house!... - 8/2/2008 5:54:43 PM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Kath
quote:
ORIGINAL: WhiteRoseBlessings
quote:
ORIGINAL: Kath
Well, if we have people coming over it's generally to eat dinner, and I don't want them to be afraid to eat my food.  
So, Kath, because I don't deep-clean my house before I have company, does that mean that you would be afraid to eat my food?
I didn't say I am afraid. :)
Example: Well, I didn't clean out the silverware tray, didn't even occur to me, and at dinner Brenda freaked out when she looked at her fork and at the end of it, not the part that goes in your mouth but the handle, there was a ball of rolled up fuzz, and she just froze staring at it. I just reached over and pulled it off and told her she could get another one if she wanted. That kind of thing would not bother me, it doesn't bother me, but it sure did her. I'm not sure if I would clean it out just because they were coming over but I might clean it out sometime between now and then, just to clean.
If there was a ball of rolled up fuzz on the end of my fork at your house I would not be afraid to use it.
But, then I see the dust that builds up on the walls in the utility room and it doesn't bother me, I know it's not going to blown down on my food, but Brenda or my mom might think so. I clean it up but I don't stress about it. I know the yellow stain behind the seat of the upstairs toilet is clean water that blows out of the water tank when we flush because it isnt' sealed properly but company would think that yellow stain is something else and be afraid to sit.
Ah. Ok, I understand what you're saying now.
There's a woman I know . . . she came over for dinner the other day, and there was a water spot on a knife that I gave her. She scrunched up her nose and made a horrible face, like I was trying to poison her. I just rolled my eyes at her and gave her another knife. I'm sure my response wasn't very gracious; but with this particular woman, everything is an overly dramatic moment, and I just wasn't in the mood for it.
If I were over at anyone's house and saw a fuzzball on my silverware, I would try to discreetly remove it without my host seeing me do so because I would not want them to feel bad about something like that. If they did see me, I would probably just try to make a joke about it to let them know that it didn't bother me.
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RE: Ack!! I’ve got to clean my legs & shave the house!... - 8/2/2008 5:57:01 PM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
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quote:
ORIGINAL: KuKu
quote:
ORIGINAL: WhiteRoseBlessings
quote:
ORIGINAL: KuKu
For me, shaving isn't quite on the same level- that is more a social norm. I don't do it to 'impress' anyone, but I don't want to offend them either KWIM? It's like not wearing the same shirt day after day, or brushing one's teeth on a regular (hourly... daily... weekly...) basis- I don't do it just for 'someone' I do it for society as a whole. I may 'freshen it up' for someone special, but it's something that is considered 'correct' to do anyway, so the ultimate goal is to 'adapt' to cultural mores.
So, what happens if you go to a country whose culture doesn't promote women shaving their legs? Would you then grow your hair on your legs to adapt to that culture?
I did (or actually simply didn't shave- which was NICE!!!!)
LOL!
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RE: Ack!! I’ve got to clean my legs & shave the house!... - 8/2/2008 6:14:45 PM
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kimberlysfrog
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quote:
ORIGINAL: WhiteRoseBlessings
quote:
ORIGINAL: kimberlysfrog
Thinking on this a bit more, I think this behavior comes from being shamed and made to feel not good enough when you were a child.
I know that's still basically what has been said, but it was just a small "a-ha!" moment for me.
I agree, Kimberly (and others).
I wasn't really raised by anyone (i.e., I wasn't taught one way or another how to do things), so I really can't relate to that.
I very much, however, can related to being shamed and made to feel quite inferior (by different people) when I was a child; and I grew up (and I believe, consequently so) with no self-esteem and huge perfectionistic issues.
One of the deepest issues I've struggled with throughout my adult life and as a Christian is this...if the people who are supposed to love you the most (parents/family) don't seem to do so and rather seem to find unending faults with you and hardly ever think you did something well, why would anyone else be any different?
quote:
ORIGINAL: CoeurdeLeon
quote:
I wasn't really raised by anyone (i.e., I wasn't taught one way or another how to do things), so I really can't relate to that.
I very much, however, can related to being shamed and made to feel quite inferior (by different people) when I was a child; and I grew up (and I believe, consequently so) with no self-esteem and huge perfectionistic issues.
I think this is key, Sharon-Marie. It's the very idea that were weren't taught one way or the other, we were just shamed no matter what we did. We couldn't win no matter what we did! Thus, we determined that perfection was the only option. Who could find fault with perfection?
Exactly!!!
To take it a bit further, over 15 years ago, I was living with a roommate who was completely exasperated with me and my messiness. To her shock, one of her friends told her I was a perfectionist and she didn't believe him. What she (and I!) didn't realize is that there are different types of perfectionists out there, and one of the types simply gives up when they can't reach their perfectionistic standards. That was me (and still is to a degree). If I can't do it perfectly, I don't do it at all. That's how I avoid the stress of not being perfect. (I think we found out more about it from this book)
Like that worked, though :P Over the last 10+ years I've been retraining myself to do what I can and accept that it isn't perfect.
I also struggle with not letting what others think about me influence my choices and keep me from trying new things.
Oh, I don't shave my legs, I haven't for years 
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RE: Ack!! I’ve got to clean my legs & shave the house!... - 8/2/2008 6:24:04 PM
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CoeurdeLeon_
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quote:
ORIGINAL: kimberlysfrog
quote:
ORIGINAL: WhiteRoseBlessings
quote:
ORIGINAL: kimberlysfrog
Thinking on this a bit more, I think this behavior comes from being shamed and made to feel not good enough when you were a child.
I know that's still basically what has been said, but it was just a small "a-ha!" moment for me.
I agree, Kimberly (and others).
I wasn't really raised by anyone (i.e., I wasn't taught one way or another how to do things), so I really can't relate to that.
I very much, however, can related to being shamed and made to feel quite inferior (by different people) when I was a child; and I grew up (and I believe, consequently so) with no self-esteem and huge perfectionistic issues.
One of the deepest issues I've struggled with throughout my adult life and as a Christian is this...if the people who are supposed to love you the most (parents/family) don't seem to do so and rather seem to find unending faults with you and hardly ever think you did something well, why would anyone else be any different?
I could have written this!
But, what I am on the road to realizing is that, while the 2 people who should have cherished me didn't, there are tons of people, and always have been, who think I'm semi-great. I'm convincing myself to listen to them and not to those lying tapes in my head recorded by people who shouldn't have been allowed in in the first place.
The other thing is, I've been praying to see myself as Christ sees me. Or as God sees me through Christ. For a long time I had a warped view of God as someone who also demanded perfection from me. He happens to be the One who cherishes me more than all the others combined, so I want to listen to what He says about me. 
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10.13.08
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RE: Ack!! I’ve got to clean my legs & shave the house!... - 8/2/2008 6:26:59 PM
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Kath
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I think I'm a messy because my mom was so clean. ocd clean. If I was reading in the living room and got up to go to the bathroom I had to take my book in case I didn't come back and it just sat there. She'd make me scrub the floor over and over on my hands and knees till there were no more streaks. One time I scrubbed it 6 times, no joke. We'd have to scrub the walls and yes, if there were streaks we'd have to do it over again. She'd dump the contents of my closet floor and dresser drawers onto my bed and I'd have to clean it before I went to bed. I think I just got so sick of it I went the other way.
Poor Larry saw my moms house and thought that is the way I'd be too.
So I'm a messy and it just doesn't bother me much but it does when company is coming. Not that I'm embarrassed but just because I don't want to offend. If it's just a friend coming for coffee I don't rush around cleaning. Just for Brenda and my parents.
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RE: Ack!! I’ve got to clean my legs & shave the house!... - 8/2/2008 6:39:09 PM
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kimberlysfrog
Posts: 1601
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From: Northern California
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Kath
I think I'm a messy because my mom was so clean. ocd clean. If I was reading in the living room and got up to go to the bathroom I had to take my book in case I didn't come back and it just sat there. She'd make me scrub the floor over and over on my hands and knees till there were no more streaks. One time I scrubbed it 6 times, no joke. We'd have to scrub the walls and yes, if there were streaks we'd have to do it over again. She'd dump the contents of my closet floor and dresser drawers onto my bed and I'd have to clean it before I went to bed. I think I just got so sick of it I went the other way.
Poor Larry saw my moms house and thought that is the way I'd be too.
So I'm a messy and it just doesn't bother me much but it does when company is coming. Not that I'm embarrassed but just because I don't want to offend. If it's just a friend coming for coffee I don't rush around cleaning. Just for Brenda and my parents.
That would for sure turn me into a messie!!! BTW, I just discovered a neat website for people like us, Kath :)
I'm thankful my mom and my father weren't like that, but my stepdad ranked close!
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RE: Ack!! I’ve got to clean my legs & shave the house!... - 8/2/2008 6:39:18 PM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
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Interesting book, Kimberly.
And you're right . . . sometimes a perfectionist deals with things by not doing anything.
Kinda along the lines of, "If you can't do something right, don't do it at all." 
Which is me . . . and which is something that I've been overcoming for a couple decades now. 
(Hey . . . sometimes I take giant leaps in things; sometimes I take tee-niney little baby steps. heehee).
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RE: Ack!! I’ve got to clean my legs & shave the house!... - 8/2/2008 6:43:25 PM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
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quote:
ORIGINAL: kimberlysfrog
One of the deepest issues I've struggled with throughout my adult life and as a Christian is this...if the people who are supposed to love you the most (parents/family) don't seem to do so and rather seem to find unending faults with you and hardly ever think you did something well, why would anyone else be any different? Unfortunately that kind of upbringing can often perpetuate itself . . . and pretty soon someone's surround by hyper-critical people. One of the things I have learned however is to not care what the hyper-critical people think.
< Message edited by WhiteRoseBlessings -- 8/2/2008 6:51:47 PM >
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RE: Ack!! I’ve got to clean my legs & shave the house!... - 8/2/2008 6:44:31 PM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Kath
I think I'm a messy because my mom was so clean. ocd clean. If I was reading in the living room and got up to go to the bathroom I had to take my book in case I didn't come back and it just sat there. She'd make me scrub the floor over and over on my hands and knees till there were no more streaks. One time I scrubbed it 6 times, no joke. We'd have to scrub the walls and yes, if there were streaks we'd have to do it over again. She'd dump the contents of my closet floor and dresser drawers onto my bed and I'd have to clean it before I went to bed. I think I just got so sick of it I went the other way. Oh {{{Kath}}} 
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RE: Ack!! I’ve got to clean my legs & shave the house!... - 8/2/2008 6:46:26 PM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
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Oh my word!
Lioness, I'm going through this thread and responding post by post (without seeing the subsequent posts).
Look at your post to Kath and look at my post to Kath!!!
There' ya go, Kath . . . if Lioness and I say it . . . it's gotta be true.
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RE: Ack!! I’ve got to clean my legs & shave the house!... - 8/2/2008 6:50:59 PM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
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Oh fiddle. I did it again.
I went to quote myself and instead I edited myself.
Here's the edit:quote:
ORIGINAL: abc123
I don't buy anything anti-bacterial. Actually, there are some products I use that are anti-bacterial (my 99.99% pure Ivory soap, for example). But I don't buy products for the sole intent of their being anti-bacterial.
What I had originally said was that, regarding the article that KuKu linked us to, I didn't read it; but I imagine that I would agree with its premise.
Our immune system is needs bacteria to keep it healthy (along the premis of a muscle: if you don't use, you loose it).
Without bacteria, our immune systems can no longer function properly.
(And here is where I had written that I don't buy anything bacterial).
< Message edited by WhiteRoseBlessings -- 8/2/2008 7:01:45 PM >
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RE: Ack!! I’ve got to clean my legs & shave the house!... - 8/2/2008 6:53:58 PM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
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RE: Ack!! I’ve got to clean my legs & shave the house!... - 8/2/2008 7:04:39 PM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
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Kristin, I like to spoil people also, and I also like to extend hospitality as well.
I think I may have mentioned earlier in the thread . . . I don't consider hospitality to be the same thing as the topic of this thread. To me, it's like comparing apples to oranges.
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RE: Ack!! I’ve got to clean my legs & shave the house!... - 8/2/2008 7:07:10 PM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
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quote:
ORIGINAL: phosadaud
I guess I think there are different reasons different people do different things. I think we need to be very careful when we try to lump everyone together as having the same motives and the same thought processes. 3 people can do the same thing for 3 different reasons. The challenge is knowing which reason goes with which person and how to respond to that. 
I agree; I don't like generalities neither.
Which is why I'm asking "why" . . . because I want to know the motives behind what people do.
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RE: Ack!! I’ve got to clean my legs & shave the house!... - 8/2/2008 7:38:53 PM
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DreadPirateRandy
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quote:
ORIGINAL: humbleinspirit
Well, I don't shave my legs so I am not really sure who I am trying to impress at all.
You're missing out.
quote:
ORIGINAL: WhiteRoseBlessings
Do we make things harder on ourselves trying to be perfect . . . or trying to give the illusion of perfection?
Most certainly. Striving for something unachievable seems entirely time consuming. Perfection is viewed differently in the eye of the beholder, but our sin nature makes us blind, so we really don't have a percept glimpse of perfection, just this false imagery we've created for ourselves.
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RE: Ack!! I’ve got to clean my legs & shave the house!... - 8/2/2008 8:22:07 PM
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phosadaud
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quote:
ORIGINAL: WhiteRoseBlessings
Kristin, I like to spoil people also, and I also like to extend hospitality as well.
I think I may have mentioned earlier in the thread . . . I don't consider hospitality to be the same thing as the topic of this thread. To me, it's like comparing apples to oranges.
Aww! Gotcha! I need to read the op better...
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RE: Ack!! I’ve got to clean my legs & shave the house!... - 8/2/2008 8:25:42 PM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DreadPirateRandy
quote:
ORIGINAL: WhiteRoseBlessings
Do we make things harder on ourselves trying to be perfect . . . or trying to give the illusion of perfection?
Most certainly. Striving for something unachievable seems entirely time consuming. Perfection is viewed differently in the eye of the beholder, but our sin nature makes us blind, so we really don't have a percept glimpse of perfection, just this false imagery we've created for ourselves.
Randy, this is incredible! 
(BTW, I'm glad you have your Vice President title underneath your handle . . . otherwise I'd never be able to keep up with who you are. )
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RE: Ack!! I’ve got to clean my legs & shave the house!... - 8/2/2008 8:29:04 PM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Kath
quote:
ORIGINAL: WhiteRoseBlessings
Oh fiddle. I did it again.
I went to quote myself and instead I edited myself.
be glad it's just yourself you edit.  I've thought I hit reply to a post but goofed and hit edit instead. Then my reply shows up under their handle. I've done it twice. Thankfully it was always a friend so they didn't get upset. Power can be pretty amusing sometimes, huh?!
I'm glad the posters were understanding.
quote:
ORIGINAL: Kath
And thank you Lioness and Sharon-Marie. My mom does blame herself for my bad knees. I don't know if what she did contributed to it or not but I'd think so. She just didn't believe in mops, hands and knees were the only way to get a floor clean. I did it that way when I moved out on my own too, for the longest time till I got an O'Cedar mop with the handiwipe type strings on it. I don't think I have ever cleaned a floor by scrubbing it while on my hands and knees.
In fact, until I came to the threads, I thought people just did that kind of thing in the movies, for dramatic effect.
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