Sexual Intimacy (Full Version)

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all4aremine -> Sexual Intimacy (7/24/2008 4:13:50 PM)

Okay I am new to this site, but definitely a christian. My husband and I are really coming to our faith in all areas of our lives right now and growing closer to God.

My struggle is that I was married before to a man that was abusive and very much adulterer. In my mind if my now husband and I are not having sex it means that something is wrong because of my past marriage. I have sat down and talked to my now husband and discussed this with him. He says there is nothing wrong with us but because of his past marriage they treated sex as a chore so he doesn't have the desire as much as I do to be intimate. He says that our relationship is more spiritual intimacy then sexual intimacy. I agree with him, but how do I help him realize that a sexual relationship to me isn't a chore or am I wrong in wanting sex more then him and need to work with his feelings?[sm=sadquestion.gif]



Kath -> RE: Sexual Intimacy (7/24/2008 4:41:52 PM)

Moving from Marriage to Womens Only Personal Issues



all4aremine -> RE: Sexual Intimacy (7/24/2008 4:51:23 PM)

We do seek counseling every Sunday and Tuesday night from our preacher. We are very close to him and he knows our past situations. I just haven't had the courage to talk to my preacher about this.



HomeSpunLady -> RE: Sexual Intimacy (7/28/2008 6:54:21 PM)

Um, I'm not in the same exact situation you are in, neither my husband or I were married or sexually active before we got married, but since the beginning of our marriage my desire for intimacy has always been more than my husband. Even postpartum! So, at least in that, you are not weird. I know it's more common for men to want it more than women, but at least in our case, I've usually wanted it more. Hope that helps a bit. [sm=icon_smile_blush.gif]



W.O.F. -> RE: Sexual Intimacy (7/30/2008 8:04:10 PM)

One thing to keep in mind...is as homespunlady said..there is nothing wrong with wanting physical intimacy...in fact..the two are VERY VERY interrelated for married couples...(the spiritual and physical intimacy)...it is part of being one.

I know that you have not yet had the courage to bring it up with your counselor/pastor...but you really do need to.

You need to really really address your fears that not having sex means something is wrong with your marriage...and your husband needs to address his issue of sex being a chore.

There can (and should be) a happy medium between the two that will be a wonderful place for you both to be.

God's peace to you and yours.



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