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RE: Need help with 18 y/o daughter and her finances - 7/18/2008 4:09:02 PM
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Jenny-Fair
Posts: 6661
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: WA
Status: offline
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The main reason is because you and your husband are attached to her account, which will make you responsible for her overdraft charges, etc. so you are still a safety net, and let's be honest--are you really going to never look at her account again? And if so, why should you remain on it?
No, she is an adult, and in order for her to take responsibility for things, you are going to have to let go of them. And that includes the things she refuses to pay you for--like I said, shut off her cell phone, don't let her drive if she isn't paying the insurance, etc.
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Matthew 18:1-6...anyone causes one of these little ones...to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.
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RE: Need help with 18 y/o daughter and her finances - 7/18/2008 4:36:32 PM
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crownofbeauty
Posts: 121
Joined: 12/10/2005
Status: offline
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No, I am not responsible for her overdraft charges. It's her account. This account was changed, so it's not a minor account. It's one of those accounts for college students where you don't need a minimum balance. It's a Bank of America Campus Edge account. She is responsible for any overdraft charges, which she has never overdrawn her account.
Here are some of the details of that checking account:
* No minimum balance required
* Stuff Happens® card, good for a one-time fee refund
* Free Bank of America Visa® Check Card
* Free Online Banking service with unlimited bill pay
* Easy for parents to directly deposit funds into your account, free of charge
* Available online for students 18 years and older
It's a great program for students and she also has a "keep the change" account to where the change automatically gets transferred to her savings account. If she spends 1.01...then .99 goes to her savings account.
And, I think you may have misunderstood about her cell phone and insurance. She is not refusing to pay them. I have just been doing the transferring. We only started to charge her car insurance since she graduated last month, so this hasn't been that long. We never asked her to do the transferring of the money, and we plan on doing that when we sit down with her. We are just rethinking on how to go about it to get her responsible for her finances. Now is the time to help her while she is in our home.
_____________________________
Isaiah 61:3
...to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair...
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RE: Need help with 18 y/o daughter and her finances - 7/18/2008 6:07:29 PM
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pbaribeault
Posts: 1117
Joined: 4/29/2005
Status: online
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Why don't you just set up an automatic re-occurring monthly transfer from her account to yours? That's just like an automatic bill payment, with you being the middle man. Also encourage her to do the same thing to set up another automatic monthly transfer to her savings account.
Then she can do whatever pleases her with her checking account and is still being completely responsible as far as her financial obligations.
By the way I wonder if she uses an ATM to withdraw cash. They tell you your balance without you having to go online to check, and that's probably enough for her to know if she has about the amount she thinks she should have.
She is not being more "responsible" because she has no reason to be. Her obligations are met and she has money to spare. As long as all is fine, she has no reason to want to know any detailed information about her finances.
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RE: Need help with 18 y/o daughter and her finances - 7/18/2008 7:26:58 PM
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crownofbeauty
Posts: 121
Joined: 12/10/2005
Status: offline
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pbaribeault,
Those are some great ideas. Having the automatic withdrawals from her account to mine, would work well for her. Also, I like the idea of an automatic transfer to her savings account.
She has used the ATM for cash before, but it's rare. The last time she used the ATM for cash was June 18th.
Again, thanks for your ideas.
_____________________________
Isaiah 61:3
...to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair...
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RE: Need help with 18 y/o daughter and her finances - 7/22/2008 12:42:54 AM
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BlueAdept
Posts: 74
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline
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One thing I would do is let her deal with it period!
If she is late with her payment, take the car keys, cell phone..... etc.
She can either 1 learn to make the payment on time, or two get her own phone, insurance and deal with it.
As for learning to balance a check book, or not picking up a pay stub. I get paid every 2 weeks, but I don't think I have opened my last 4 pay stubs. Now I have a excuse, I see the payroll records so I know how much I was paid. I don't generally check on line for my balances, but I will sometimes review the account to see what has been paid.
Mistakes do happen, so a check could be cashed for 300.00 instead of 30.00. But how would YOU know what it was to have been?
You can set up a time to train her. It sounds like she is a free spirit, which means she isn't going to want to learn about it. Your best bet is to let her learn in the school of hard knocks. That will be a harder way to learn, but it will also put her at a point where she decides she is WANTING to learn it. Right now she doesn't care, and likely even with you holding a gun on her; she would still not care.
Lastly, as someone else said.... as long as you are doing it SHE doesn't have to. Contact the bank (have HER do it) and request the accounts be unlinked. That way you can't see it any more. The first time she bounces a check(es) she will decide pretty dang fast that she is not going to do that again. I know it might be hard, but getting a NSF fee or 2 isn't going to kill her. Nor will it harm her for long.
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RE: Need help with 18 y/o daughter and her finances - 8/4/2008 1:47:30 AM
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amymelissa
Posts: 2274
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: South Australia
Status: offline
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I'm only 19 myself, but I've grown up with a banker as a father so I've always been taught to save. Dad has always had access to my accounts. I have 2 - 1 for savings and 1 which is linked to my debit card where my pay goes. In my part-time work I was paid fortnightly. On the weeks I got paid dad would get on phone banking (with me in the room) and transfer some money into my savings account. Doing this I was able to save enough money to buy a car after a year only having to borrow $1500 from my parents (for a $5000 car + rego for a year) I have to pay for my own petrol and my insurance. My insurance comes direct debit out of my account.
He had also set up a direct debit each month for my phone bill as I was not old enough to have it in my own name yet - as soon as I turned 18 mum & I (as the phone was in her name) rang up and transferred it to mine. I like the suggestion that if she does not pay you for her phone you take it away.
Now I am working full time my parents charge me board and that comes directly out of my account. I also set up internet banking for myself so each week I transfer over a certain amount into my savings account. I reckon for your daughter you should set up a direct debit each fortnight that she is forced to save - but talk it over with her first. Say, we'll transfer $100/fortnight. In 5 months she will have saved $1000 towards a car or whatever else she may be saving for. I check my balance every few days, keeping an eye on it so I don't become overdrawn. (This has happened only once because my pay did not go through and my direct debits came out as usual).
My boyfriend's father is a financial advisor. When my bf started full time work his dad gave him 1 month leyway before forcing him to start saving. His pay goes into a cash management fund & a certain amount is transferred onto his debit card every fortnight. If he has no money on that at the end of the fortnight bad luck. It also curbs his impulse buying as it takes 2 days for the money to transfer & clear if he wants to buy something big.
These are things that my parents & my bf's parents have done as we got into work. You'll notice we're both from financial backgrounds so I'm very lucky in that respect as I know how to budget and keep track of my money.
But before you do anything, sit down with her and talk it over. Explain to her why you are doing this and how it is going to benefit her. She DOES need to learn how to budget, especially becuase one day you will not be there to do it for her! (Sorry this is so long)
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