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RE: Lighten up, please! - 7/10/2008 2:27:55 AM
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free-to-worship
Posts: 84
Joined: 6/29/2008
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LOL! You're right. Thanks for your input. God bless!
quote:
ORIGINAL: totalfaith
Hi Free-to-worship,
How you doin? So, what do you like to do in your spare time? 
Ok, so someone had to say it... Seriously though I agree with what others had to say here, but I'll give you my 2 cents anyways.
Personally, I think some Christians definitely need to turn the Christian lingo down a notch and act like normal people. We don't have to say praise the the Lord every few minutes and call everyone a brother and sister at church, especially around non-Christians, because it appears you're just putting on a show.
Although, since I spend most of my week working and don't see many Christians till the weekend I do have a desire to connect with a women on spiritual stuff. It's kind of like a breath of fresh air after a long week with a bunch of heathens...oops. Anyways, I guess there's a fine balance and most of it probably just comes down to social skills. So, give the goofy brothers at your church a break and tell them to chill out and be cool.
God Bless!
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RE: Lighten up, please! - 7/10/2008 12:41:46 PM
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e.barrett
Posts: 35
Joined: 6/9/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: free-to-worship
but I also love when people can let God shine through them just by being who He created them to be. When we are truly in the Lord, Jesus comes not just out of our conversation, but also through our actions.
Its kind of sad, but I think a lot of people put up their "walls" when they find out you're a Christian. They immediately assume we're going to start criticizing, or not drink a beer, or whatever. When that happens it's hard to have an honest conversation about God. Sometimes it's best to just be a "regular" person who happens to know God, then be a Bible Expert who happens to know regular people. 
I tried to follow your link, but it came up with a page not found error. Clearly someone broke the internet.
_____________________________
R3 - a blog devoted to understanding how to live out a life of faith
Visit it at www.r3blog.net
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RE: Lighten up, please! - 7/10/2008 3:23:53 PM
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free-to-worship
Posts: 84
Joined: 6/29/2008
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Yeah, you're right. I'm first and foremost a child of God, and I'll let the world know it, but I do know most people respond to your actions. Your lifestyle is your first witness of Jesus Christ. The sayings are true, "Actions speak louder than words." and "You maybe the only Jesus some people will ever see." Therefore, I choose to let my light shine before men, and lift-up Jesus in the process, because HE said "If I be lifted up, I'll draw all men unto myself." So it is not my job to get pepole "Saved", it's my job to present to them the gospel of Christ and to glorify and lift HIM up, and then the Holy Spirit will do the rest. I know a lot of "Bible Thumpers" whose life does not reflect their words.
BTW...I checked out your blogs, and found them to be really good. You are ministering to many people. Thanks for being faithful. I'll continue to vist. Also, I'm sorry my link failed, but try this one: http://kimmyjustlikeesther.multiply.com/
Because, you know, "Clearly someone broke the internet." Surely, it could not have been on your part or mine. LOL! If it doesn't work, let me know.
quote:
ORIGINAL: e.barrett
quote:
ORIGINAL: free-to-worship
but I also love when people can let God shine through them just by being who He created them to be. When we are truly in the Lord, Jesus comes not just out of our conversation, but also through our actions.
Its kind of sad, but I think a lot of people put up their "walls" when they find out you're a Christian. They immediately assume we're going to start criticizing, or not drink a beer, or whatever. When that happens it's hard to have an honest conversation about God. Sometimes it's best to just be a "regular" person who happens to know God, then be a Bible Expert who happens to know regular people.
I tried to follow your link, but it came up with a page not found error. Clearly someone broke the internet.
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RE: Lighten up, please! - 7/11/2008 9:01:31 AM
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e.barrett
Posts: 35
Joined: 6/9/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: free-to-worship
So it is not my job to get pepole "Saved", it's my job to present to them the gospel of Christ and to glorify and lift HIM up, and then the Holy Spirit will do the rest.
I really agree with that. And I think it fundamentally shifts how you're willing to interact with someone who doesn't believe in God. I also think it changes the way we live our lives from one of simply speaking about God, to one of living out a life that honors God.
Thanks for the kind words about R3, I appreciate it! That link worked. So someone must have fixed the internet. 
_____________________________
R3 - a blog devoted to understanding how to live out a life of faith
Visit it at www.r3blog.net
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RE: Lighten up, please! - 7/11/2008 5:59:09 PM
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free-to-worship
Posts: 84
Joined: 6/29/2008
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I think we have to become all things (not sinful of course) to all men, so that we may win some to Christ, just as the Apostle Paul and Jesus Himself did. We know Jesus never sinned, and Paul was an anointed and righteous (made right by the blood of Jesus) man, but they met people right where they were. Their conversation was infused with the love, mercy, and compassion of God, and that was what people needed to bring them to repentance. Sometimes in order to present the love of God to someone, you may have to help them fix something in their lives or find something their interested in and have a conversation with them about it. Either way, you have to find a common ground with them, and the greatest common ground that we share with all people is, our need for a Savior-Jesus Christ.
Anyway, I'm glad the link worked. I don't know who broke the first one, but they ought to be ashamed. lol And as for the kind words about your site, you are very welcome.
quote:
ORIGINAL: e.barrett
quote:
ORIGINAL: free-to-worship
So it is not my job to get pepole "Saved", it's my job to present to them the gospel of Christ and to glorify and lift HIM up, and then the Holy Spirit will do the rest.
I really agree with that. And I think it fundamentally shifts how you're willing to interact with someone who doesn't believe in God. I also think it changes the way we live our lives from one of simply speaking about God, to one of living out a life that honors God.
Thanks for the kind words about R3, I appreciate it! That link worked. So someone must have fixed the internet.
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RE: Lighten up, please! - 7/11/2008 6:07:37 PM
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DreadPirateRandy
Posts: 8558
Joined: 6/5/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: CoachSteve
So a horse walks into a bar. bartender asks, "why the long face?"
Sure that wasn't John Kerry?
A duck walks into a bar and he orders a drink. The bartender asks, "how are you going to pay for this?"
The duck responds, "Put it on my bill."
I should be a professional comedian.
_____________________________
The lunatic, the lover, and the poet, are of imagination all compact.
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RE: Lighten up, please! - 7/11/2008 6:43:43 PM
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free-to-worship
Posts: 84
Joined: 6/29/2008
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lol, John Kerry, lol!
Thanks for not taking things to seriously. Let's try teaching this art of laughter to everyone who hasn't quite grasped it.
quote:
ORIGINAL: GrapeApe
quote:
ORIGINAL: CoachSteve
So a horse walks into a bar. bartender asks, "why the long face?"
Sure that wasn't John Kerry?
A duck walks into a bar and he orders a drink. The bartender asks, "how are you going to pay for this?"
The duck responds, "Put it on my bill."
I should be a professional comedian.
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RE: Lighten up, please! - 7/11/2008 7:01:26 PM
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willfs
Posts: 273
Joined: 12/28/2007
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It's you.
What I mean is not that its your fault. I am willing to bet you are a pretty spiritual person. Just my guess is that guys know that and they really want you to know that they are spirtual as well. I might have been this way around women. Some great girl comes along and I am like, "No way, she is actually talking to me." My lack of confidence tells me that I could easily screw this up and probably don't deserve this girl so I might make sure she knows all my strengths. However, I, like most guys, look in our spiritual mirrors and think we are more godly than we really are. We might start out trying to pursuade you we are as spiritual as you but we are really trying to pursuade ourselves.
I think I have grown out of this. I now make sure that the girl I am looking for - the particular strenghts I want in her - I make sure I have in myself. I think I am my own person. It has always annoyed me when I see other guys who are like, "So you're spiritual. So am I. I like God stuff to. Yeah, I like Noah, Moses, Paul and all those other guys who hung out with Jesus." They aren't that bad but kinda close to this. I question their sincerity. I actually had a friend who wanted to date a girl who was a very commited, good hearted Christian. He is a wild partier who has his own "brand" of Christianity that I know isn't compatible to hers. This guy actual finds it humorous how I act like myself around her. Instead of pretending that everything she says is amazing, I am actually willing to question her, not a lot and not in a meanspirited way but just like I would with my other friends. He, as well as other guys spend so much time trying to act like they are wholesome that they are taken aback when I the same way around her as I do around them. This hasn't always been true. When I first met her I was really nervous and wanted to impress her. After getting to know her I realized she wasn't my type, lost interest in her, and realized her feet touch the ground when she walks. Maybe give the guys time and they will loosen up.
I almost wish I was them. I haven't met a girl who I liked so much that I wanted to impress her in a long time. So your circumstances might be good (guys are actually diggin you a lot) and bad (they are trying to impress you too much.)
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RE: Lighten up, please! - 7/11/2008 8:24:40 PM
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free-to-worship
Posts: 84
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline
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I looked for a break in your comment so that I could shorten it up to take out the really good parts to comment back on, but I couldn't find a place to break in, because it was all really good. I think your reasoning is great, mostly because it works in my favor. LOL! Seriously though, I never thought of that, and I'm pretty sure that it may be what is going on for some of the guys, and I don't know what's going on with the rest, but I'm not mad at them. I just want them to lighten' up, just like you did. If you are yourself, I will accept you for who you are regardless. I may not want to be bothered or date the person you are (it's a matter of preference), but I will respect you for being you, and we can always be friends or at the very least we can nod respectfully in each others general direction when we come into contact. LOL!
BTW...I like the example-story you gave. Now that's impressive!
quote:
ORIGINAL: willfs
It's you.
What I mean is not that its your fault. I am willing to bet you are a pretty spiritual person. Just my guess is that guys know that and they really want you to know that they are spirtual as well. I might have been this way around women. Some great girl comes along and I am like, "No way, she is actually talking to me." My lack of confidence tells me that I could easily screw this up and probably don't deserve this girl so I might make sure she knows all my strengths. However, I, like most guys, look in our spiritual mirrors and think we are more godly than we really are. We might start out trying to pursuade you we are as spiritual as you but we are really trying to pursuade ourselves.
I think I have grown out of this. I now make sure that the girl I am looking for - the particular strenghts I want in her - I make sure I have in myself. I think I am my own person. It has always annoyed me when I see other guys who are like, "So you're spiritual. So am I. I like God stuff to. Yeah, I like Noah, Moses, Paul and all those other guys who hung out with Jesus." They aren't that bad but kinda close to this. I question their sincerity. I actually had a friend who wanted to date a girl who was a very commited, good hearted Christian. He is a wild partier who has his own "brand" of Christianity that I know isn't compatible to hers. This guy actual finds it humorous how I act like myself around her. Instead of pretending that everything she says is amazing, I am actually willing to question her, not a lot and not in a meanspirited way but just like I would with my other friends. He, as well as other guys spend so much time trying to act like they are wholesome that they are taken aback when I the same way around her as I do around them. This hasn't always been true. When I first met her I was really nervous and wanted to impress her. After getting to know her I realized she wasn't my type, lost interest in her, and realized her feet touch the ground when she walks. Maybe give the guys time and they will loosen up.
I almost wish I was them. I haven't met a girl who I liked so much that I wanted to impress her in a long time. So your circumstances might be good (guys are actually diggin you a lot) and bad (they are trying to impress you too much.)
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RE: Lighten up, please! - 7/13/2008 9:23:14 PM
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ConstantReader
Posts: 158
Joined: 1/28/2008
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: free-to-worship
Why is it that many Christian men seem to tense up in conversation with Christian women? What I mean is this. Most of the time when I have a conversation with a single Christian man, all he can talk about is the things of God. Now don't get me wrong, I myself am a Christian and very learned in the things of God, and I feel that if you are real with your walk with God it will show naturally. It seems that most times the guys I talk to want to seem deeper and more learned than they really are, and make the Bible their whole conversation. I like discussing the word of God, as a matter of fact I am a Teacher of the word, but I'd like a guy to just ask me..."So what do you like to do in your spare time?" Everything doesn't have to be deep, and most things aren't as deep as we make them out to be. Lighten up guys! LOL!
Agreed, sis. :)
So, what do you want to talk about?
_____________________________
Long days and pleasant nights.
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RE: Lighten up, please! - 7/14/2008 6:54:07 PM
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SavedByGraceMD
Posts: 756
Joined: 2/13/2008
From: the poconos
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: free-to-worship
Why is it that many Christian men seem to tense up in conversation with Christian women? What I mean is this. Most of the time when I have a conversation with a single Christian man, all he can talk about is the things of God. Now don't get me wrong, I myself am a Christian and very learned in the things of God, and I feel that if you are real with your walk with God it will show naturally. It seems that most times the guys I talk to want to seem deeper and more learned than they really are, and make the Bible their whole conversation. I like discussing the word of God, as a matter of fact I am a Teacher of the word, but I'd like a guy to just ask me..."So what do you like to do in your spare time?" Everything doesn't have to be deep, and most things aren't as deep as we make them out to be. Lighten up guys! LOL!
Just a quick foreword, I have not gone through this whole thread, and this answer may have been given.
It seems you answered your own question. Initial and on going impressions. We even though we are Christians, can still get consumed with putting our best foot forward, so to speak. We still feel the need to try to impress you. Unfortunately, even we as Christians can get caught up in putting on a front, and not being real, trying to give you what we think you are looking for.
We should feel safe to be us, yet sometimes we still don't. So we will try to impress you any way we think we can.
I don't know, just MHO, and I don't speak for all men, or any other man but myself, so I guess I should have edited the we's. But...let's just say that this society we have is always telling us that we are not good enough. So I, we, or whoever, feel the need to go beyond who we are.
_____________________________
Isaiah 41:10
"Fear not for I am with you,
Do not be dismayed for I am your God,
I will strengthen you and help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand"
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RE: Lighten up, please! - 7/14/2008 8:35:33 PM
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free-to-worship
Posts: 84
Joined: 6/29/2008
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LOL! Good come-back. Pick a subject.
quote:
ORIGINAL: ConstantReader
quote:
ORIGINAL: free-to-worship
Why is it that many Christian men seem to tense up in conversation with Christian women? What I mean is this. Most of the time when I have a conversation with a single Christian man, all he can talk about is the things of God. Now don't get me wrong, I myself am a Christian and very learned in the things of God, and I feel that if you are real with your walk with God it will show naturally. It seems that most times the guys I talk to want to seem deeper and more learned than they really are, and make the Bible their whole conversation. I like discussing the word of God, as a matter of fact I am a Teacher of the word, but I'd like a guy to just ask me..."So what do you like to do in your spare time?" Everything doesn't have to be deep, and most things aren't as deep as we make them out to be. Lighten up guys! LOL!
Agreed, sis. :)
So, what do you want to talk about?
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RE: Lighten up, please! - 7/14/2008 8:50:14 PM
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free-to-worship
Posts: 84
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline
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Thanks for the reply. I will try to be more understanding, except with the guys who seem to get upset when they find that I know more of the Word than they think I should. The Pop-Quzzes have to stop! 
I'm a simple girl, and I'm also an encourager, so I try to make everyone feel comfortable in whatever. I try to keep my conversation light, unless I and the person I'm talking to have naturally flowed into more serious or deeper things. I'm not what you would call introverted, neither am I a social butterfly, but I do enjoy good conversation. With all the imput I have received here, I will try to remember that most men are just trying to put their best foot forward, wuthout tripping over it. Thanks for the info.
quote:
ORIGINAL: SavedByGraceMD
quote:
ORIGINAL: free-to-worship
Why is it that many Christian men seem to tense up in conversation with Christian women? What I mean is this. Most of the time when I have a conversation with a single Christian man, all he can talk about is the things of God. Now don't get me wrong, I myself am a Christian and very learned in the things of God, and I feel that if you are real with your walk with God it will show naturally. It seems that most times the guys I talk to want to seem deeper and more learned than they really are, and make the Bible their whole conversation. I like discussing the word of God, as a matter of fact I am a Teacher of the word, but I'd like a guy to just ask me..."So what do you like to do in your spare time?" Everything doesn't have to be deep, and most things aren't as deep as we make them out to be. Lighten up guys! LOL!
Just a quick foreword, I have not gone through this whole thread, and this answer may have been given.
It seems you answered your own question. Initial and on going impressions. We even though we are Christians, can still get consumed with putting our best foot forward, so to speak. We still feel the need to try to impress you. Unfortunately, even we as Christians can get caught up in putting on a front, and not being real, trying to give you what we think you are looking for.
We should feel safe to be us, yet sometimes we still don't. So we will try to impress you any way we think we can.
I don't know, just MHO, and I don't speak for all men, or any other man but myself, so I guess I should have edited the we's. But...let's just say that this society we have is always telling us that we are not good enough. So I, we, or whoever, feel the need to go beyond who we are.
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RE: Lighten up, please! - 7/15/2008 2:31:56 PM
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free-to-worship
Posts: 84
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline
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Yeah, I have had more men to quiz me than date me. LOL! I only hope they are working as hard to win others to Christ.
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RE: Lighten up, please! - 7/15/2008 11:21:31 PM
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willfs
Posts: 273
Joined: 12/28/2007
Status: offline
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They may be too shy, or too threatened, to ask you out.
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RE: Lighten up, please! - 7/16/2008 12:56:17 AM
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SavedByGraceMD
Posts: 756
Joined: 2/13/2008
From: the poconos
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: willfs
They may be too shy, or too threatened, to ask you out.
Bingo, shy, or maybe they don't have confidence, or they can't read the signals being sent. Sometimes approaching women is actually a little scary, nobody likes rejection.
_____________________________
Isaiah 41:10
"Fear not for I am with you,
Do not be dismayed for I am your God,
I will strengthen you and help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand"
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RE: Lighten up, please! - 7/16/2008 2:36:16 PM
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free-to-worship
Posts: 84
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline
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You guys may be right, but I hope I don't make people feel threatened. That truly is not my intention. I'm just myself, at all times. Confidence, and the lack thereof, is a personal issue for those who deal with confidence issues. As I stated before, I try to make everyone feel at ease in my presence, and I am not one to dominate conversation, but I do have my own ideas, and God has blessed me with wisdom in certain areas, as well I enjoy good conversation. I can understand people being shy or not being able to read the signals, but I am not conciously giving signals in the beginning of general conversation anyway. If I am intersted in someone that I am conversation with, I know how to make them aware of it or at least hope that they pickup on the signals I am giving. As SAVEDBYGRACEMD said, "...Sometimes approaching women can be a little scary, nobody liikes rejection." I understand that, so if I must reject someone, then I try to be as caring and tactful as possible. You should know that women have dilemmas of that nature of their own. We have been told since we were little girls to wait to be approached by the man and to not be to flirtatious, and I do agree with this to an extent. So we have to wait it out to see if the person we are attracted to even knows that we exist, while trying to give out not so obvious signals that we are interested, only to berejected at times in the end. So I guess men and women are almost equal when it comes to giving out the signals. I won't say who's tipping the imaginary scale.
Thanks for all your input guys. This is great conversation, the best I've had in a while.
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RE: Lighten up, please! - 7/16/2008 2:40:11 PM
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McFatty
Posts: 1084
Joined: 12/8/2007
From: Augusta, GA
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SavedByGraceMD
quote:
ORIGINAL: willfs
They may be too shy, or too threatened, to ask you out.
Bingo, shy, or maybe they don't have confidence, or they can't read the signals being sent. Sometimes approaching women is actually a little scary, nobody likes rejection.
Actually, I love rejection! It teaches you so much and you're that much better on the next approach!
_____________________________
“Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.” – Philippians 4:8
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RE: Lighten up, please! - 7/20/2008 3:17:19 PM
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OneJohn410
Posts: 723
Joined: 6/1/2008
Status: online
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Here's a small post from 15 days ago that you've just jumped completely over, Free-to-worship. I have to ask, whassup with that? Thanks.
quote:
ORIGINAL: OneJohn410
quote:
ORIGINAL: colliefan
quote:
Why is it that many Christian men seem to tense up in conversation with Christian women? What I mean is this. Most of the time when I have a conversation with a single Christian man, all he can talk about is the things of God.
But what is the context of the convesation and where does this take place? Is it with someone you have just met? Or, is with someone you know some of his interests (and you know his)?
A conversation in a church setting is more than likely to be of a spiritual nature. In a casual setting, who knows? But a good conversationalist knows how to ask open-ended question.
I 2nd the motion. More info please. Thanks!
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