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RE: Value of Intelligence. - 9/18/2008 1:35:30 PM
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solo_soprano22
Posts: 2472
Joined: 4/27/2005
From: I'm a Southern girl
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DreadPirateRandy
What is the value of intelligence within a relationship?
Does one with intellectual promise bring more to a relationship than one who isn't as intellectually exceptional?
Does lack of academical achievements send up red flags for you? If not, what use does it bring opposed to the studious individual?
Do you feel more secure with someone who is quick with numbers, easy with finances, business manageable, and maintains an impressive schedule/application opposed to someone who is less adequate with mathematics, lacks in wealth, and an excessive procrastinator?
What assessment does intelligence hold over whether or not you're satisfied in a relationship?
If I go on to do what I'm planning on, I'd rather him be on my intelligence level. It might work out anyway, but if I go get a doctorate in biology, I'd rather him be on some similar level-- even if it's in a different field. I want to actually be able to talk and share with whomever I marry. :) It'd be nice to be able to share what's going on and actually have him "get it." I figured that's one reason (one of MANY) why I see scientists and doctors married to each other (not always in the same science though)  .
_____________________________
For God, For Learning, Forever.
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RE: Value of Intelligence. - 9/18/2008 2:31:34 PM
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Auben
Posts: 1611
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Where pines tower and cranberries float
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Being able to talk to someone is a must, so intelligence is important.
However, speaking from my own experience, curiosity and flexibility are just as important. Being married to someone with different interests, different education, or a slightly different level of intelligence goes just as smoothly IF that person is curious about what you do and is willing to listen, learn, and grow with you. I think a doctor could be happily married to a plumber (or an interior designer) if the two of them can really talk and work together.
My husband is into computers. I'm not. I'm very linear and focused. He's very creative and a multi-tasker. I'm a big reader. He's not. Rather then having less to talk about we ended up having more to talk about because we both share an intense love of learning and figuring things out. So he can go on and on about coding and business practice...something I have limited interest in but something I know so little about I'm curious. And I can go on and on about the symbols adding to the theme of this book or that movie. By being married he's doubled his vocabulary and I've researched many areas I've always thought 'boring' (which are really very fascinating).
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Tamara
~Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time~
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RE: Value of Intelligence. - 9/20/2008 5:32:36 PM
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ebony101
Posts: 934
Joined: 4/1/2007
From: the big blue marble
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Sometimes I feel the need for intellectually stimulating conversation.
Other times I just feel the need for non-serious conversation.
Then there are times when I just want to honestly discuss some aspect of life/relationships, etc.
I need a guy who isn't inhibited when it comes to talking, someone who'll listen, gently criticise or give his support.
I mean something's got to be happening when we're walking in the zoo. I can't be silent. I'll comment on the animals, so I guess he can put in his 2 cents on them too, or listen to my comments and give a reasonable reply. If we're grocery shopping, he'll need to be able to state why he prefers wheaties over oat bran, or kid around while we're walking up & down the aisle (sometimes I sing along with the pre-recorded music it would be fun if he'd join in.)
Then there are times when I just want to sit with you and be silent, enjoying just being with you.
If that's being intelligent, then so be it.
_____________________________
'We're writing a gospel, a chapter each day,
By the things that we do & the words that we say.'
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RE: Value of Intelligence. - 9/23/2008 2:26:28 PM
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raivyne
Posts: 899
Joined: 8/28/2008
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DreadPirateRandy
What is the value of intelligence within a relationship?
Its a top notch quality in my opinion. A must have.
quote:
ORIGINAL: DreadPirateRandy
Does one with intellectual promise bring more to a relationship than one who isn't as intellectually exceptional?
in the context of all other things being equal, yes. however you can't be a jerk and expect me to keep you on the merit of your brain power.
quote:
ORIGINAL: DreadPirateRandy
Does lack of academical achievements send up red flags for you? If not, what use does it bring opposed to the studious individual?
Not necessarily. A person can be intelligent and have no need or desire to further their education.
quote:
ORIGINAL: DreadPirateRandy
Do you feel more secure with someone who is quick with numbers, easy with finances, business manageable, and maintains an impressive schedule/application opposed to someone who is less adequate with mathematics, lacks in wealth, and an excessive procrastinator?
I don't want to have to constantly remind someone that bouncing a check is a waste of money. I am good at math, so I don't necessarily need a potential spouse to be good with numbers. I am a procrastinator, so its probably not a good idea if we both put things off till the last minute.
quote:
ORIGINAL: DreadPirateRandy
What assessment does intelligence hold over whether or not you're satisfied in a relationship?
I'm unlikely to be happy with someone who is not even close to myself in the realm of intelligence. there is always a gap in communication and that's bad.
_____________________________
God grades on the cross – not on a curve
Good – God = 0
In the dark? Follow the Son!
The Power of a Simple Gift! samaritanspurse.org
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