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RE: Husband with drug problem - 5/31/2008 9:47:14 AM
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PatricksPeaches
Posts: 306
Joined: 5/13/2008
From: Michigan
Status: offline
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hartslove,
Thank you so much for your post!!! That does sound like my situation very much. I know that there is hope for our relationship and I pray for that daily. I pray that my hubby has hit his bottom but I am not stupid and know that he could not have. I am waiting for him to start one-on-one counseling with our biblical counselor. My hope is that he will find his need for the Lord and also work on his addiction.
It is good to hear happy endings. Thank you again!!
_____________________________
*Robin*
I am not claiming to have all the answers but I'm holding on to the one who does!
-quoted from a song by 33Miles called Come With Me
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RE: Husband with drug problem - 6/13/2008 6:45:07 PM
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jtlaurence
Posts: 4
Joined: 6/13/2008
Status: offline
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I am very sorry for your situation. I, myself am a recovered alcoholic/drug addict. From my personal experience and from viewing others', I must say that he will not quit until he is ready to quit for himself. He is going to have to hit his "bottom". We drug addicts/alcoholics are very selfish people. My recommendation would be to go to an Al-Anon meeting. Try going to 3 meetings and seeing if it does anything for you. It will not interfere with your belief in the Lord, but only make it stronger! My family and I will pray for you.
-J
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RE: Husband with drug problem - 6/14/2008 2:08:58 PM
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3CordFamily
Posts: 2
Joined: 6/13/2008
From: Florida
Status: offline
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I hope you are still checking on this post.
I can tell you about the difference b/w AA/Na and Teen Challenge. CHRIST! I am a graduate of one of their adult programs, as is my husband. We are both in ministry right now. I have met many adults at the age of 50+ that did not get help earlier because they had friends or family who cushioned their "rock bottom". You may think your husband has hit his, but everyone's is different. And even after hitting rock bottom, some sit their and need to get real uncomfortable before seeking help. PRAY for him, yes, but also act. It is quite alright to kick him out, and STAND firm in your decsion! Most of TC grads will tell you it wasn't until they lost everything (financially/family..)that they sought any help.You need not get a divorce, but don't let him back in until he has cleaned up and changed. Remember, he is bringing alot of evil into your home. It is possible, even in TC for people to be cleaned up on the outside, with no inner change. Your husband needs to learn from God that he is selfish and in need of change, and most importantly a Savior. At TC, they help you not only change your behavior, but find the root cause and with God's help remove it! It took alot of work, but God removed my bitter roots and replaced them with seeds of faith and love that now bear much fruit. My husband had a drug addiction (mine was depression/suicide). From his testimony and others at TC, I can tell you that your husbands drug use is not the only problem. Drug addicts tend to be involved in other illict acctivities that will endanger their families (wives esp.) and the financial situation. You are a child of the Most High. He has entrusted you with children. He will provide for you. Actively seek assistance from your church and local services. Seek help. And if there is a Teen Challenge nearby, just visiting and hearing their testimonies will encourage you to do what is needed. If you need more, my husband and I are available.
TRUST GOD!
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RE: Husband with drug problem - 6/17/2008 2:00:23 AM
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PatricksPeaches
Posts: 306
Joined: 5/13/2008
From: Michigan
Status: offline
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My husband went to the biblical counselor today. He is going to go next Monday too. We were without power for a week, so we had to stay with family. He was asking about salvation tonight and said that he is going to talk to the counselor more about it next session. Things have been good for us lately. We have been doing more family things together and enjoying the time together. I don't know what the future holds but I pray that it is all good here on out. Thank you all for your posts and prayers. I will keep you all informed about our progress.
_____________________________
*Robin*
I am not claiming to have all the answers but I'm holding on to the one who does!
-quoted from a song by 33Miles called Come With Me
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Husband with drug problem-UPDATE - 8/18/2008 5:04:42 PM
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PatricksPeaches
Posts: 306
Joined: 5/13/2008
From: Michigan
Status: offline
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We have been arguing every day lately. Mostly because we don't agree on how the house should be ran and he says I sleep too much. He claims I don't take care of my 2 year old, that I make my 8 year old do it. I don't do anything for him; he says. I guess the house cleans itself and the laundry can fold and put away clothes.  I feel like he is my "big" child. He doesn't clean up after himself and I have to remind him to do things all the time.
He works and makes all the money. That is a great thing but he thinks that is all he has to do. Meanwhile, the house if falling apart and the grass is growing high. I don't ask for much but to do the "manly things". He isn't home all day to see what gets done here but complains about it. I don't home school right, I don't cook for my kids, and all I do is sleep and sit on the computer.
I am not perfect but I am a good house keeper and mother. I don't go to his job and scrutinize his work and tell him he is doing it all wrong. I don't presume to know what he does there either. He doesn't understand that the home is my "job". I guess since I don't get paid for it, it's doing nothing in his book.
And he did it again. He left for work Friday morning and didn't come home until Saturday at about 8pm. No call or anything. He said he didn't do drugs but I don't believe him and he won't tell me what he was doing if it wasn't drugs.
I would not let him in the house. I gathered up all his belongings in the house and gave them to him. He put it all in the van. Then I gave him the shed key and let him get his tools and such, which he also put in the van. The whole time he was asking if I was sure this is what I wanted. I said yes. (but I am not sure)
He slept in the van that night. He woke up Sunday and still wanted to come into the house. I still refused. I asked for my house key back but he said he would give it back when he gets the title to the van. (we just bought it and it should be in the mail) I went and got a new lock for the door. He can keep that key now. 
He called from his moms last night. He didn't call to apologize. He just continued to tell me all the things I do wrong and that I am screwing him over. He thinks he can manipulate me and scare me into staying with him. It worked before but not this time. He can't do anything to hurt me. Truth is, he needs me more than I need him. When we got married he got Medicaid, better tax return, and a place to live. Yes, he paid the bills but it is all in my name. Without me, he has nothing but a car and a van. He needs a CPAP machine for sleep apnea and an address to give to his probation officer. Now he is on his own.
I put an application in online yesterday and they called for an interview today. I will be going and hopefully be hired. I am praying for a second shift position so I can still home school my 8 year old. My mom has agreed to babysit for me. That is a relief.
So I am trying to start over. I don't want to be a single mom but I can not put up with his behavior any longer. I may be a nag and not much of a wife but that is no reason to blame me for his drug use. (He says my attitude makes him want drugs) That's just hogwash. He chooses to cope with things by using drugs.
Sorry this is so long. Thanks for letting me vent!! Please pray for me. I am scared and nervous. I don't want to make anymore mistakes. I hope that not letting him back is the right one.
_____________________________
*Robin*
I am not claiming to have all the answers but I'm holding on to the one who does!
-quoted from a song by 33Miles called Come With Me
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RE: Husband with drug problem-UPDATE - 8/19/2008 5:31:36 PM
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reach
Posts: 1365
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
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My advice is:
Please talk to a lawyer about your rights. Many times a lawyer will consult with you about your rights for free. He should not be able to take both cars, and he should be financially helping you take care of his children.
I am praying for you. I have been through this with family, and have custody of my nephew because of drugs.
A light at the end of the tunnel, my sister did get freedom from drugs & has 8 years of clean and sober. But it took over 5 years before she got to this point.
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