RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread
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RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread - 9/1/2008 7:30:13 PM
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Melodyes_Song
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hi an introduction i am mel, i am a wife and a mom to 4 children, two whom are grown and 2 who are 5 and 7 whom we adopted from foster care last year which has its own set of issues. By design due to our boys history and the need for a strong male role model and excellent dad my dh has been home with our boys since they came home to us in Jan 07 and i work as a branch administrator for a civil engineering company.
I love my job and am quite sure that my boys would not be doing as well if i had been the one to stay home as opposed to dh, it takes much reparenting to show that men do not treat women horribly, however i still sometimes wish i was a sahm, yet i do love the challenge of my job outside our home...it is a tough struggle for me...i think sometimes i am shortchanging my family, or i miss things i would love to be home for...not sure if any of that makes sense.
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Mel
http://www.avoiceformoms.blogspot.com/
A Conservative Voice for Moms
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RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread - 9/2/2008 9:17:13 PM
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LaurainAL
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Hi Mel. Welcome to our little corner of Crosswalk.
So, I was thinking today about Sarah Palin, the GOP's VP nominee. I'm not sure what everyone's political thoughts are but I do think she is a great role model to working women. She has five kids and is currently the Governor of Alaska! I was also wondering if she will contribute or lessen the mommy wars? Will some die hard "all women should stay at home unless your kids are starving" people support her or loathe her even though she is pro-life? I don't know. What say you?
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Life Trumps Choice
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RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread - 9/2/2008 9:36:27 PM
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sisrev
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From: The South, ya'll
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I like Sarah Palin. We were working in Alaska when she was running for governor and for a brief time afterwards. I would have definitely voted for her if I had been an Alaska resident.
Have you noticed that when the media mentions the impact being in office has for a man, they will say "their family", but with Sarah Palin they are specifically using "her children", not "her family". What about her husband? Is he not equally a parent, as well? It's okay for a man in public office to have a wife to take up the slack for "the family", but no one wants to admit that her husband can also help take up any slack for "her children".
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My new blog, A Virtuous Woman
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RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread - 9/3/2008 7:50:13 AM
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FAWIHTT
Posts: 77
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I am still having my issues. I do ok when the kids are in school but on the weekend I cry because I am feeling I need to be there for my children I am currently looking for a different job ontop of that. I still haven't gotten my check that was due last Friday. I am so not happy about that.
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God Has Blessed us to make us a blessing. Genesis 12:2
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RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread - 9/3/2008 8:44:29 AM
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momma_bee
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I'm not happy about that and it isn't even my money.
What possible reason is there to NOT have your pay.
I can see it is posted late because of the holiday, but Friday wasn't the holiday. Poppa had to turn his stuff that was due Monday, by Friday and then submit corrections yesterday. They have a plan in place.
I'm not sure if that is because he works for the gov't or in spite of the fact he works for the gov't.
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RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread - 9/4/2008 9:07:30 AM
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LaurainAL
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Did anyone watch how Palin has been attacked for being a working outside the home mom?
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Life Trumps Choice
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RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread - 9/4/2008 9:12:59 PM
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sisrev
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From: The South, ya'll
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LaurainAL
Did anyone watch how Palin has been attacked for being a working outside the home mom?
Seems like the conservatives are attacking her for working, her kids not being perfect, being tough, etc. Then the liberals are attacking her for having so many kids, being pro-life, etc. She can't win for losing.
As Rodney Dangerfield used to say, "Everybody's a critic!"
< Message edited by sisrev -- 9/5/2008 12:41:42 AM >
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RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread - 9/4/2008 9:44:28 PM
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momma_bee
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Or, as am I want to misquote him...
"Everybody's a cynic"
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RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread - 9/5/2008 2:47:25 PM
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4b1gtt
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I have worked all through my children's lives. This year my oldest son graduated and went off to college, boy do I feel like I missed his growing up. I wish I would have started a at home business earlier. I started a Arbonne business three years ago and was able to cut back working my full time job to two days a week. I really enjoy my new business I get to change peoples lives not just with the products, but by showing others how to make money out of there home so that they get to spend more time with there families.
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RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread - 9/5/2008 8:09:34 PM
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FAWIHTT
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ok the first question why i didn't get paid because I was transfered from an different state and they sent mty check where I moved from and they said, if you put in a change of address it should be on the way back to you.
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God Has Blessed us to make us a blessing. Genesis 12:2
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RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread - 9/7/2008 10:25:58 AM
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momma_bee
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Wait a minute - you were lectured by a working woman on why you should not be working?
Did you ask her if she had kids?
That topic should be a 'noneya' in the NICU - at least until you are working with a discharge nurse.
(noneya - none ya durn business)
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RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread - 9/7/2008 11:27:22 AM
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landabee
Posts: 2868
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From: Central Florida
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SweetLittleErin
Well last night I got to be preached at and lectured by Isaac's nurse about not being a SAHM. She talked about how today's society is full of people who dont cherish their children and how children are treated as an inconvenience etc. I agreed with most of that, but just because I will work doesnt mean thats how I think. And we arent working "just so we can have lots of stuff." She also proceeded to lecture me a little bit about birth control. When I told her we had conception trouble she asked me if I took BC and when i said yes she said "oh then I bet thats why." Um...no....faulty ovaries....thats why. She was nice, I appreciate the fact she is a Chrisitian, I appreciated and agreed with most of the conversation. But...she overstepped her bounds a little. If didnt care about my child I wouldnt be driving two hours everyday to see him, and I am/was pretty much one of the ONLY moms there in the unit most of the time. Maybe I have to pay for the $2,000+ a day the doctor (JUST the doctor, not the hospital) is charging to take care of my son.
(((((((((Erin))))))))))))
You are more polite than me. I have a sharp tongue when warranted. I would not have been rude, but I would have told her that your convictions are yours alone.
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"Sound theology discourages ignorance instead of promoting it." ~ CourdeLeon
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RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread - 9/7/2008 2:06:54 PM
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NotDoneYet
Posts: 288
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From: Virginia
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SweetLittleErin
Well last night I got to be preached at and lectured by Isaac's nurse about not being a SAHM. She talked about how today's society is full of people who dont cherish their children and how children are treated as an inconvenience etc. I agreed with most of that, but just because I will work doesnt mean thats how I think. And we arent working "just so we can have lots of stuff." She also proceeded to lecture me a little bit about birth control. When I told her we had conception trouble she asked me if I took BC and when i said yes she said "oh then I bet thats why." Um...no....faulty ovaries....thats why. She was nice, I appreciate the fact she is a Chrisitian, I appreciated and agreed with most of the conversation. But...she overstepped her bounds a little. If didnt care about my child I wouldnt be driving two hours everyday to see him, and I am/was pretty much one of the ONLY moms there in the unit most of the time. Maybe I have to pay for the $2,000+ a day the doctor (JUST the doctor, not the hospital) is charging to take care of my son.
I think a lot of working moms run into that mindset...that we work so we can have "stuff". A co-worker of mine told me that if we got rid of cable TV and if I "didn't want a new truck every 2 years" (I had just bought myself a really nice SUV for my 40th birthday, that I STILL have 4 years later), then we could afford for me to quit working. I won't repeat what I told him...but it definitely boiled down to MYOB.
Sometimes, 2 careers is just the way it is...I suffer from "mommy-guilt" almost every day. It doesn't matter that my little ones are in great child care, one now in school and going to before and after school care, and the other one with the same babysitter she's had for over 2 years. I hate that I have to get them up so early...I hate that I don't get home until 6 every night. BUT...I know that if I stayed home, our lifestyle would be much diminished...So...off to work I go.
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Remember, normal is just a setting on the dryer!
Ranting and raving: diaryofaravingmom.blogspot.com
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RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread - 9/7/2008 2:34:50 PM
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FAWIHTT
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I have 2 kids going on a field trip to the mountains it's an overnight field trip 180.00 per child that is 360.00 if I go with them 540.00 that is alot of money especially when you factor in 2 birthdays and christmas all in the mix. That is hard when I am working and impossible if i am not.
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God Has Blessed us to make us a blessing. Genesis 12:2
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RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread - 9/7/2008 3:40:41 PM
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daughter_of_faith
Posts: 1256
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From: Great Plains, Kansas
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See and with our current family dynamics, I work while DH stays home. It's really kind of weird, but it's what works for us & DH will be going back to school/working part-time soon.
quote:
ORIGINAL: SweetLittleErin
If didnt care about my child I wouldnt be driving two hours everyday to see him, and I am/was pretty much one of the ONLY moms there in the unit most of the time. Maybe I have to pay for the $2,000+ a day the doctor (JUST the doctor, not the hospital) is charging to take care of my son.
Erin, you're doing an awesome job! You're balancing working and being a mom. And right now being a mom entails going to the hospital to visit your young man & feed him & bathe him & change him, etc. It just makes you wonder....because as a nurse working there....that means SHE works. Does she have kids? Not like it matters....but if she does....then she's promoting a double standard and/or has mommy guilt issues of her own & likes to make sure everyone else knows she does. (((hugs)))
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RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread - 9/7/2008 7:02:29 PM
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landabee
Posts: 2868
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From: Central Florida
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Why I choose to work is no one's bees wax.
Truth is I financially must.
Another truth: I prefer it. I'd rather work part time, but for now full time is required.
Do I want to have vacations and cable and such? You betcha.
If that makes me a selfish sinner, so be it.
Martyrdom is not required to reach heaven, no matter what the naysayers say.
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"Sound theology discourages ignorance instead of promoting it." ~ CourdeLeon
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RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread - 9/7/2008 8:59:08 PM
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LaurainAL
Posts: 1302
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quote:
ORIGINAL: landabee
Why I choose to work is no one's bees wax.
Truth is I financially must.
Another truth: I prefer it. I'd rather work part time, but for now full time is required.
Do I want to have vacations and cable and such? You betcha.
If that makes me a selfish sinner, so be it.
Martyrdom is not required to reach heaven, no matter what the naysayers say.
You Rock landabee. Seriously Rock!
Erin: People are stupid. I had a lady chide me once for having John Cooper in the nursery during Worship Service. She said, "How can you stand to be away from him?" I wanted to say "I manage, just like I manage to not slap people like you who make stupid comments like that". It's a good thing that I just smiled and said nothing.
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Life Trumps Choice
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RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread - 9/7/2008 9:08:27 PM
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Miss Giggles
Posts: 4266
Joined: 4/18/2005
From: MI
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Wow Erin that nurse was out of line but unfortunately I think you'll have to deal with it again in the future, so stick up for yourself and don't worry about being rude or hurting someones feelings. Lots of people are working just to pay the bills and not accumulate "stuff".
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RE: Working (outside the home) Wives/Moms Support Thread - 9/7/2008 10:21:08 PM
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daughter_of_faith
Posts: 1256
Joined: 1/10/2008
From: Great Plains, Kansas
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Crazy lady, Erin. Not you...the NURSE! Working nights is NOT the answer.....my mom did that for years & she was better at a mom when she stayed at home or worked days than when she did nights. She's openly admitted that she neglected us kids during that time (when she wasn't working, she was sleeping). Our dad became our mom & dad.....
But....on the other hand...I guess it was about time. She'd been a SAHM until both of us kids started school. Dad was always busy in the field....so mom filled both shoes.
It's just a matter of what works for each family. I can't believe she got onto you about something when she has NO room to talk. As I previously said, maybe she has regrets of not being able to be the mom she'd like to be for her kids. Keep your chin up & hang in there! Isaac will be coming home in no time. After all, we're about 4 to 6 weeks out from his due date, right?
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I didnt think it sounded mean. Oh well....6 weeks closer to coming home....cant be much longer can it? 
