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RE: Jumping ship - 3/10/2008 8:28:08 AM
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PrincessDonna
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I posted the things I don't like or agree with about the school. Now here are some things I have seen improvements in...
-Noah responds better to constructive criticism now. He used to have fits when I marked things wrong on his papers, but the teacher's "fix this please", "redo this please", and "sloppy, please fix" don't seem to bother him.
-He is kinder to his siblings after not being here all day.
-He picked up on cursive very quickly.
-He really likes the art and gym classes.
-He seems to be withdrawing less (except for Children's church yesterday ) and participating more, even when things don't match his whims completely.
-He is more polite and respectful when speaking to adults.
-He is singing during worship at church now, when he wouldn't before.
-He still throws fits, but the intensity and the longevity are not what they were.
-He is more able to think of other's feelings.
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RE: Jumping ship - 3/10/2008 8:36:13 AM
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Ellie-Mae
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When we did Gym n Swim, they had a play room that you could have the little kids use. We paid a dollar or two and they could play in there with supervision. It had a window so you can see what was happening while you get to socialize. It was quite a nice feature that they offered to us when they began noticing how many little ones were in the waiting room... and some of them were not well watched and misbehaved quite a bit.
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RE: Jumping ship - 3/10/2008 8:44:38 AM
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Ellie-Mae
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quote:
ORIGINAL: PrincessDonna
I posted the things I don't like or agree with about the school. Now here are some things I have seen improvements in...
-Noah responds better to constructive criticism now. He used to have fits when I marked things wrong on his papers, but the teacher's "fix this please", "redo this please", and "sloppy, please fix" don't seem to bother him.
-He is kinder to his siblings after not being here all day.
-He picked up on cursive very quickly.
-He really likes the art and gym classes.
-He seems to be withdrawing less (except for Children's church yesterday ) and participating more, even when things don't match his whims completely.
-He is more polite and respectful when speaking to adults.
-He is singing during worship at church now, when he wouldn't before.
-He still throws fits, but the intensity and the longevity are not what they were.
-He is more able to think of other's feelings.
Those are really good, and very significant. Now you need to be thinking of ways to continue to further those things if you bring him home. I think that having him there for a bit longer will help solidify these things in his life... 2-5 months seems a little short for that unless you have a really good plan on how to keep up the momentum.
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RE: Jumping ship - 3/10/2008 9:24:43 AM
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amybreit
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One other idea for your co-op or gym & swim days is if you can find another mom with older & younger kids & trade off with one of you watching the younger kids in your home & the other mom taking the older kids to the activity! This has worked for me in the past when activities didn't fit both of my kids ages. You may even be able to convince a mom who wasn't planning on putting her kids in the activity to start! Only having to take them every other time, would be a BIG incentive to me!
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RE: Jumping ship - 3/10/2008 9:30:22 AM
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Ellie-Mae
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When I was doing Gym and Swim, the parents had to be in the building in case something happened.
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RE: Jumping ship - 3/10/2008 9:33:57 AM
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PrincessDonna
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I know someone who had a medical release and brought two kids who weren't her own.
The problem with bringing all the kids to swim n gym is that I cannot make two trips to that town in a week, so I'll need to also do my shopping then. I know some people can shop with 4 or 5 children and maintain their sanity, but I am not one of those people. 
Really, I'd rather not talk about the logistics of swim n gym though. It's just something that I know if Noah comes home, we need to make priority. The decision is not made to bring him home and I do not intend to make any decision until after the baby is born anyway, which right now seems a long way off.
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RE: Jumping ship - 3/10/2008 11:10:41 AM
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Jenny-Fair
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I know you don't want to talk about logistics, but making a second trip has to be cheaper than tuition, lol.
I think coming up with a daily routine for him is the first step to having him happy at home. AND by that I don't mean homeschooling, because you also have this coming summer to think about. By not working on school stuff this summer I think it'll be a great chance to reinforce your foundation in the other areas-kindness to siblings (despite being annoyed by them all day--and perhaps he needs to be able to shut the bedroom door and be alone for an hour or two?), deference to your authority, etc. I think it'll be a good trial run.
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RE: Jumping ship - 3/10/2008 9:26:48 PM
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W.O.F.
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a lot of things to cover..and most have been covered well.
My suggestion...
Make a list of pros (like the list of improvements that you have posted here) and a list of cons. Weigh them against each other and PRAY PRAY PRAY over them.
You stated that you didn't feel it was financially responsible to keep him in school due to family finances...but I would state that unless other bills are going unpaid to keep him there, that is the least of your concerns. It is probably NOT financially responsible for my family for me to have three children taking violin lessons...but they NEED and want them...particularly the oldest child. It is part of WHO they are...so it would be characterally, emotionally and developmentally irresponsible of me to NOT give them those lessons. What best benefits my children without costing the rest of the family IS financially responsible because we are investing in their futures....
I think, that as long as you really pray about the issue, and make any decision based in prayer , it will be fine.
There will be no harm in his going one semester in the fall, even if you do pull him out at Christmas break as long as he knows that it is a possibility and if it becomes MORE than a possibility, that he is aware of it in plenty of time to prepare for the change.
I honestly suggest the Titus2.com website...they have a lot of tips for setting up routines/schedules for just daily living that may help in all areas...and the cool thing is...you customize it to FIT YOUR LIFE...not someone else's idea of what you should be doing and when....
I also agree that, IF you decide to bring him home again...it needs to be for a long term commitment.
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RE: Jumping ship - 3/15/2008 1:28:23 PM
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PrincessDonna
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Lots to pray about. Thanks everyone for your input. I really appreciate it!
Just wanted to let you all know...I'm going to be starting official schoolwork with Hannah this week. She seems to be really attached to the idea of "school", so I'm going to do some bookwork with her, on top of the normal stuff we do every day. I had thought of sending her to preschool 2 days a week next year, but am now thinking I don't want her "addicted" to the going away to school thing. She's very different from Noah and I want to give hsing a (completely independent of Noah's schooling) chance with her and not just assume she'll go to school at some point. Noah may end up staying in school and do better there than at home, even though the letting go is very hard for me. But I am realizing that they are all so different and I need to mentally separate his schooling experiences from hers, and the other kids coming up. I know this is something I can count on your encouragement in.
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RE: Jumping ship - 3/15/2008 1:50:41 PM
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Jenny-Fair
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Cool, Donna. What books are you going to use? Have you looked at FIAR?
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RE: Jumping ship - 3/15/2008 5:09:18 PM
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PrincessDonna
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No, I'm not looking at actual curriculum at this point. I have a HUGE preschool book I got at Walmart and we'll work out of that until I feel like moving on to something else. She could conceivably start K5 work Fall 2009, at 4.5. We'll see. Her birthday being in February means she would be 5.5 in K if she went away to school. I'm not going to hold her back from what she can do, and I have a feeling she'll be an early reader. She already recognizes about 5 letters that are NOT in her name (plus those in her name). I have not worked with her at all, beyond just playing and reading.
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<<-----------Brian + vacuum= sexy man!!
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RE: Jumping ship - 9/25/2008 9:53:38 PM
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PrincessDonna
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Resurrecting this thread again, just so I can scream. Loudly.   
The new year is not off to a good start. Noah is miserable from the second he wakes up until the second he goes to sleep. He is having a TON of homework every night and I have had no communication from his teacher at all. He's having trouble with one boy in his class...this boy punched him in the face the other day, Noah slammed the door in this boy's face a different day, so I'm not sure WHO is the problem, probably both of them.
One continual thing I hate about him being in school is the lack of communication. Hate it. I am sending a note to his teacher tomorrow. I hope I was nice enough. It really irritates me when my kid gets in trouble or is not doing his work and no one tells me. Tonight, he had 10 pages of homework and there was no way he could do it all. We did some and then I sent him to bed.
I am exhausted by all that I currently have going on. I do not have the energy or time to hold Noah's hand with every single piece of seatwork. I'm glad we're not hsing right now, but OTOH, I have a feeling that being in school all day and then having hours of homework all night (even if it IS his fault for messing around) is just adding to his frustration, and thus to mine.
Thanks for listening and if you have any thoughts, they are welcome. I think. If they are worded kindly. I'm a little emotionally fragile at the moment. 
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<<-----------Brian + vacuum= sexy man!!
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RE: Jumping ship - 9/25/2008 10:27:25 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
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(((((((((((((Donna)))))))))))))
That's tough, I'm sorry, I don't know what to say, or what to do. Is it possible that you could ask for some help from your church for a season, at least until Brian is better, (like getting meals a couple times a week..having 2 volunteers come clean once a week, 2 others to help with some dishes and laundry once a week)..I don't think it would be wrong to ask..I know if the tables were turned you would help someone else.
I helped a family out for a year where the mom was ill..I don't regret helping, but I did a lot of the things up in those parenthesis..so if I could do it over I would offer to lead a TEAM of 7 or 8 people to help, and not try to help her all by myself, cause it began to affect my health..that's why I suggested getting help, but spreading it out among several people.
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RE: Jumping ship - 9/25/2008 10:35:33 PM
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PrincessDonna
Posts: 10420
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From: Cow country, Upstate NY
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It's a thought. We've had a TON of help over the past two months though, since Brian's accident. I still need people to take the kids (except the baby) when Brian has appointments. I think this is our first week without any meals in...oh, about 2 months? Everyone else has lives too...and all super busy.
I could really use a cage with a lid for Levi. Or a case of duct tape. He's been VERY naughty the past few days and needs constant following and "training". I'm just exhausted by the time Noah gets off the bus and then I have to deal with his 'tude. I admit I am not always patient by that point, even if I did take a nap with the little kids.
I'm just...tired. I don't think anyone can fix that.
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<<-----------Brian + vacuum= sexy man!!
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RE: Jumping ship - 9/25/2008 10:39:54 PM
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JuliaHop
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Donna...breathe, relax, and pray. Put this situation in God's hands tonight.
I too know how to really stress about school...and I know that it is not a good feeling. At this stage of life I have had children with:
3 years public school + 5 years Christian school + 8 years homeschool + 2 years Christian school (now in 3rd year) = 18 completed years and in the midst of the 19th year with 5 years to go after this one...and then he has college. In this midst of this I have had one complete 5 years of college and another is in their Junior year of college.
I wonder if the teacher realized today how many of the weeks assignments that Noah had not yet turned in and threatened tomorrow's recess if he didn't get them finished. (My oldest ds once confessed that he missed a lot of recess the years he was in school because he wasn't doing the work in class.)
At least Noah's teacher is sending the school work home. When my dd was in 2nd grade she stopped doing most of her work and the teacher did not contact me. My dd's grades did not drop, the teacher just explained that she decided that my dd (who could write full paragraphs when school started and could no longer write a proper sentence without writing two to three words per each line on a steno pad) wasn't able to do any better...and didn't tell me!!!!! I questioned her at conference about the lack of finished school work and this is what she told me. Sixteen years later I can still get angry. My dd was capable...she just decided to stop working when she realized that other students did not have to work (we were an experimental "developmentally appropriate" school).
Who knows what he has told his teacher about your situation (his poor daddy being hurt, his new sister, helping around the house...you know, poor me, poor me...) and she might not be demanding the most that she can from him in the classroom. Perhaps she is petting him a bit too much and not making him work as hard as he is capable of working?
Boys are strange creatures and no telling what is going on in their heads when they should be doing their school work. I caught a glimpse of my eldest ds's daydreaming when we used his classroom for Sunday School and I realized that his composition book was full of hand drawn battle scenes. 
Have a nice prayer time and try to get some sleep in between taking care of your dh and your new little one (hopefully the other 3 "babes" are asleep for the evening).
Remember to take care of yourself.
In His Love,
Julia
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RE: Jumping ship - 9/25/2008 10:50:28 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
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Donna if I lived near you, and if I wasn't constantly battling my own health issues, I would come help you.
Is Brian getting any disability pay right now? I know you probably can't afford a cleaning person, but I sure wish you could have one right now.
Do you think you'll maybe bring Noah back home, or will that be more stressful?
Do you have a parent or other relative that could come stay with you and help for a while?
Anyway, I'll say a prayer for you tonight.
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Now thank we all our God, with hearts and hands and voices, what wondrous things He's done, in whom the world rejoices.
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RE: Jumping ship - 9/25/2008 11:01:59 PM
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cynthia
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{{Donna}} That does sound like an excessive amount of home work. I wouldn't worry too much about how you come across to the teacher. She obviously isn't too concerned about how she comes across to you. You did your best.
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RE: Jumping ship - 9/26/2008 1:23:05 AM
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cindybode
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{{{Donna}}} Sorry, it's almost 1:30am and my brain is fried from working nonstop all night, so I have absolutely no ideas at the moment, but I wanted to give you a hug.
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RE: Jumping ship - 9/26/2008 8:23:11 AM
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macokjc
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That is an excessive amount of homework. Is it all homework - or are they papers that he just didn't finish. My 8 year old is in his first year of school at a Christian school - and the only homework he has brought home so far is reviewing for tests. On a side note - does his teacher of kids? Over the years (and w/ myself as a teacher), I've noticed that that really makes a difference.
Do you think that he is acting out because of his dad's accident? I could only imagine that he is feeling very left out and lonely. That doesn't excuse the behavior, but maybe he is just trying to get attention, or mad because his dad can't play anymore. I can also imagine it would be hard for his dad to spank him, (I don't know if you spank) but I don't know what I would do w/ my son if my husband wasn't there to spank him. I'm almost not strong enough.
The only other thing that I could think of would be to ask the teacher to send all unfinished papers home on the weekend - not that weeknight. No 8 year old boy is going to have that kind of attention span after spending 8 hours at school. It does appear that a parent-teacher-administrator conference might be helpful.
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RE: Jumping ship - 9/26/2008 8:52:52 AM
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his_chosen
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((((Donna)))) No real answers... When ds1 was in 2nd grade, it wasn't uncommon for him to have 2hrs of homework each evneing. Math worksheets, spelling practice, reading (assigned, not pleasure), and "busy work". And ds1 was always one to buckle down and do the work. Lord only knows how long it would take other kids who weren't so disciplined! This is exactly why we decided to home shcool. I know that's not an option for you. Just know that I feel your pain!!!
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RE: Jumping ship - 9/26/2008 8:58:55 AM
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PrincessDonna
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quote:
Is Brian getting any disability pay right now? I know you probably can't afford a cleaning person, but I sure wish you could have one right now.
Do you think you'll maybe bring Noah back home, or will that be more stressful?
Do you have a parent or other relative that could come stay with you and help for a while?
He will be getting disability pay, but hasn't received any yet. No, we really can't afford a cleaning person even once it is coming in.
I don't know if I'll bring Noah back home. I know if I did it today, I would strangle him within a week.
Nope, no one who can stay and help. My parents both work, my sister works, Brian's two sisters are in school and his mother is...certifiably nuts.
quote:
Is it all homework - or are they papers that he just didn't finish.
Papers he didn't finish. I don't know how the classroom is run and how much time they have for seatwork, but it appears he COULD have no homework if he got it all done in school.
quote:
On a side note - does his teacher of kids? Over the years (and w/ myself as a teacher), I've noticed that that really makes a difference.
She does. And she homeschooled for years. She has only been teaching in a classroom for a few years though. I have a feeling her classroom management skills are lacking, and this class has a few, um, lively ones. Yes, my child is probably one of them. I'm not one who thinks her kid can do no wrong.
quote:
Do you think that he is acting out because of his dad's accident? I could only imagine that he is feeling very left out and lonely. That doesn't excuse the behavior, but maybe he is just trying to get attention, or mad because his dad can't play anymore. I can also imagine it would be hard for his dad to spank him, (I don't know if you spank) but I don't know what I would do w/ my son if my husband wasn't there to spank him. I'm almost not strong enough.
I think part of it is that. Although, yes, Brian can still spank him and has had to make it known to all the kids that just because Daddy is in a wheelchair doesn't mean they can do whatever they want.
quote:
The only other thing that I could think of would be to ask the teacher to send all unfinished papers home on the weekend - not that weeknight. No 8 year old boy is going to have that kind of attention span after spending 8 hours at school. It does appear that a parent-teacher-administrator conference might be helpful.
That's a good idea. Or at least to say that the pressure is off on weeknights and we can have weekends to catch up if needed. I don't mind him having some homework each night, but I think anything that takes over 30-45 minutes is too much at his age.
I got him up an hour early this morning (6 instead of 7) to do some more work. The other kids were all sleeping and we got quite a bit done. Still has 3.5 pages not done, but we made a big dent. He begged me to homeschool again. Or send him back to second grade because third is too hard. I think he much preferred the structure his teacher had last year. That teacher has been teaching 25 years or so. I told him that going back to hsing is an option down the road, for sure, but I would need to see a much improved attitude and him TRYING before we could do that. I told him we would talk about it again around Christmas time and it was up to him to improve his attitude and behavior in the meantime. He seemed to understand that.
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