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RE: Inspirations From Santa - 8/25/2008 11:57:58 AM
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Qtman
Posts: 10095
Joined: 3/21/2006
From: Crimson Tide Country
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Santa you are on a roll this morning. Good Stuff.
_____________________________
Remember: God loves you and I'm trying!
~rogasinger4Him
Body Piercings
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RE: Inspirations From Santa - 8/27/2008 8:35:12 AM
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Smokymtnsanta
Posts: 13514
Joined: 6/13/2006
From: The North
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Obituary for Mr. Sense
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Mr. Common Sense.
Mr. Sense had been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that life isn't always fair.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge). His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Mr. Sense declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student; but, could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled a bit in her lap, and was awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by two stepbrothers; My Rights and Ima Whiner.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
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CHRISTmas time's a comin'
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RE: Inspirations From Santa - 8/28/2008 5:09:37 PM
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BelovedHandMaiden
Posts: 4165
Joined: 3/17/2007
From: Tennessee
Status: offline
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There was once a spider who lived in a cornfield. He was a
big spider and he had spun a beautiful web between the corn
stalks. He got fat eating all the bugs that would get caught
in his web. He liked his home and planned to stay there for
the rest of his life.
One day the spider caught a little bug in his web, and just
as the spider was about to eat him, the bug said, 'If
you let me go I will tell you something important that will
save your life.' The spider paused for a moment and
listened because he was amused. 'You better get out of
this cornfield,' the little bug said, 'The harvest
is coming!'
The spider smiled and said, 'What is this harvest you
are talking about? I think you are just telling me a
story.' But the little bug said, 'Oh no, it is
true. The owner of this field is coming to harvest it soon.
All the stalks will be knocked down and the corn will be
gathered up. You will be killed by the giant machines if you
stay here.'
The spider said, 'I don't believe in harvests and
giant machines that knock down corn stalks. How can you
prove this?' The little bug continued, 'Just look
at the corn. See how it is planted in rows? It proves this
field was created by an intelligent designer.' The
spider laughed and mockingly said, 'This field has
evolved and has nothing to do with a creator. Corn always
grows that way.' The bug went on to explain, 'Oh
no. This field belongs to the owner who planted it, and the
harvest is coming soon.' The spider grinned and said to
the little bug, 'I don't believe you,' and
then the spider ate the little bug for lunch.
A few days later, the spider was laughing about the story
the little bug had told him. He thought to himself, 'A
harvest! What a silly idea. I have lived here all of my life
and nothing has ever disturbed me. I have been here since
these stalks were just a foot off the ground, and I'll
be here for the rest of my life, because nothing is ever
going to change in this field. Life is good, and I have it
made.'
The next day was a beautiful sunny day in the cornfield.
The sky above was clear and there was no wind at all. That
afternoon as the spider was about to take a nap, he noticed
some thick dusty clouds moving toward him. He could hear the
roar of a great engine and he said to himself, 'I
wonder what that could be?'
2 Peter 3:3-4 'In the last days mockers will come,
following their own lusts, and saying, 'Where is the
promise of His coming?''
2 Peter 3:9 'The Lord is not slow concerning His
promise, as some count slowness, but He is patient toward
you, not wanting anyone to perish, but for all to come to
repentance.'
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart ;
and lean not unto thine own understanding.
In all thy ways acknowledge him,
and he shall direct they path. Prov 3:6-7 KJV
_____________________________
The Rapture -- true separation of church and state.
<--So blessed!!!
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RE: Inspirations From Santa - 8/29/2008 9:25:24 AM
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Smokymtnsanta
Posts: 13514
Joined: 6/13/2006
From: The North
Status: offline
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CHARACTERISTICS OF THE LITE CHURCH
(everything you always wanted in a church and less)
7. Guaranteed, 30-minute sermon or your next one's free!
6. Your choice of only 8 commandments
5. Only happy hymns and choruses
4. Fewer commitments
3. No messages on subjects that hit too close to home
2. Reclining pews with pillow pads and head rests
1. Offering followed by a complimentary beverage and after service mint
From "Bible Humor Top Seven Lists" by Dave Veerman and Rich Anderson:
Amazon: http://snipr.com/biblehumor
_____________________________
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CHRISTmas time's a comin'
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RE: Inspirations From Santa - 8/29/2008 9:26:29 AM
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Smokymtnsanta
Posts: 13514
Joined: 6/13/2006
From: The North
Status: offline
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Your morning thought for the day:
My country owes me nothing. It gave me, as it gives
every boy and girl, a chance. It gave me schooling,
independence of action, opportunity for service and
honor. In no other land could a boy from a country
village, without inheritance or influential friends, look
forward with unbounded hope.
-- Herbert Hoover
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The place to be in the Smokies: www.hiddenmountain.com
CHRISTmas time's a comin'
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RE: Inspirations From Santa - 8/29/2008 12:16:08 PM
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Smokymtnsanta
Posts: 13514
Joined: 6/13/2006
From: The North
Status: offline
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"Ancient Headlines"
Ancient Headlines in Today's News--If Biblical headlines
were written today:
Red Sea crossing:
WETLANDS TRAMPLED IN LABOR STRIKE
Pursuing Environmentalists Killed
David vs. Goliath:
HATE CRIME KILLS BELOVED CHAMPION
Psychologist Questions Influence of Rock
Eliyah on Mt. Carmel:
FIRE SENDS RELIGIOUS RIGHT EXTREMIST INTO FRENZY
400 Killed
Birth of Christ:
HOTELS FULL, ANIMALS LEFT HOMELESS
Animal Rights Activists Enraged by Insensitive Couple
Feeding the 5,000:
PREACHER STEALS CHILD'S LUNCH
Disciples Mystified Over Behavior
Healing the 10 lepers:
LOCAL DOCTOR'S PRACTICE RUINED
"Faith Healer" Causes Bankruptcy
Healing of the Gadarene demoniac:
MADMAN'S FRIEND CAUSES STAMPEDE
Local Farmer's Investment Lost
Raising Lazarus from the dead:
FUNDAMENTALIST PREACHER RAISES A STINK
Will Reading to be Delayed
_____________________________
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CHRISTmas time's a comin'
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RE: Inspirations From Santa - 9/1/2008 8:35:32 PM
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Smokymtnsanta
Posts: 13514
Joined: 6/13/2006
From: The North
Status: offline
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Spiritual Kudzu
Kudzu is an interesting plant. It was introduced from the Orient and promoted to farmers to help reduce soil erosion. There was only one problem with it – our Southern climate is perfect for it to grow out of control. It is capable of reaching 75 ft. into the trees and covers the ground and other lower vegetation. If you have ever been around kudzu, its vines can make it difficult to walk and it manipulates everything around it.
Spiritual kudzu is anything that clutters our lives and keeps us from being who God wants us to be for Him. Worry, anxiety, stress, unhealthy co-dependent relationships, and misplaced priorities are some of our more common forms of spiritual kudzu that we struggle with today.
There’s good news, though! The fuel experts are considering kudzu as a source for ethanol production. Also, spiritual kudzu can be a source of fuel to motivate us to make healthy changes in our lives so we can reconnect and focus on a right relationship with God and being who God wants us to be today. In the first Psalm we are told “Blessed is the man who delights in the law of the Lord…He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers...” Talk to Jesus today, get rid of the kudzu, and then bloom where God has planted you!
Jerry Hyder
Associate Pastor, Adult Ministries
First Baptist, Sevierville, Tn.
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CHRISTmas time's a comin'
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RE: Inspirations From Santa - 9/1/2008 9:45:30 PM
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Smokymtnsanta
Posts: 13514
Joined: 6/13/2006
From: The North
Status: offline
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Share and Share Alike
An elderly couple walks into a fast food restaurant. They
order one hamburger, one order of fries, and one drink.
The old man unwraps the plain hamburger and carefully cuts
it in half. He places one half in front of his wife. He then
carefully counts out the fries, dividing them into two piles
and neatly placing one pile in front of his wife. He takes a
sip of the drink, his wife takes a sip, and then he sets the
cup down between them. As he begins to eat his few bites of
hamburger, the people around them keep looking over and
whispering, "That poor old couple -- all they can afford is
one meal for the two of them."
As the man begins to eat his fries, a young man comes to the
table. He politely offers to buy another meal for the old
couple. The old man replies that they're just fine --
they're just used to sharing everything.
The surrounding people notice the little old lady hasn't
eaten a bite. She sits there watching her husband eat and
occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.
Again the young man comes over and begs them to let him buy
another meal for them.
This time the old woman says, "No, thank you, we are used to
sharing everything."
As the old man finishes and wipes his face neatly with the
napkin, the young man again comes over to the little old
lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asks, "May
I ask what is it you are waiting for?"
The old woman answers, "THE TEETH."
_____________________________
Visit www.smokymountainsanta.com
Cookie Recipes: http://www.northpole.com/Kitchen/Cookbook/cat0001.html
The place to be in the Smokies: www.hiddenmountain.com
CHRISTmas time's a comin'
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RE: Inspirations From Santa - 9/3/2008 8:58:28 AM
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deblawson
Posts: 307
Joined: 7/9/2008
From: Jasper, Georgia
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Smokymtnsanta
Share and Share Alike
An elderly couple walks into a fast food restaurant. They
order one hamburger, one order of fries, and one drink.
The old man unwraps the plain hamburger and carefully cuts
it in half. He places one half in front of his wife. He then
carefully counts out the fries, dividing them into two piles
and neatly placing one pile in front of his wife. He takes a
sip of the drink, his wife takes a sip, and then he sets the
cup down between them. As he begins to eat his few bites of
hamburger, the people around them keep looking over and
whispering, "That poor old couple -- all they can afford is
one meal for the two of them."
As the man begins to eat his fries, a young man comes to the
table. He politely offers to buy another meal for the old
couple. The old man replies that they're just fine --
they're just used to sharing everything.
The surrounding people notice the little old lady hasn't
eaten a bite. She sits there watching her husband eat and
occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.
Again the young man comes over and begs them to let him buy
another meal for them.
This time the old woman says, "No, thank you, we are used to
sharing everything."
As the old man finishes and wipes his face neatly with the
napkin, the young man again comes over to the little old
lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asks, "May
I ask what is it you are waiting for?"
The old woman answers, "THE TEETH."
That is so funny.  I am sitting here at my desk at work laughing so hard and co-workers are going by looking at me.
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RE: Inspirations From Santa - 9/7/2008 8:12:17 AM
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BelovedHandMaiden
Posts: 4165
Joined: 3/17/2007
From: Tennessee
Status: offline
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That is awesome, Santa! I love it!!
_____________________________
The Rapture -- true separation of church and state.
<--So blessed!!!
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RE: Inspirations From Santa - 9/7/2008 8:40:49 AM
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BelovedHandMaiden
Posts: 4165
Joined: 3/17/2007
From: Tennessee
Status: offline
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This poem has always been special to me. I hope you enjoy it too.
WAIT
by Russell Kelfer
Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, "Wait."
"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.
"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.
"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."
Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"
He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.
"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.
"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.
"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.
"The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.
"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.
"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."
©Russell Kelfer. All rights reserved.
_____________________________
The Rapture -- true separation of church and state.
<--So blessed!!!
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RE: Inspirations From Santa - 9/7/2008 7:23:19 PM
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Smokymtnsanta
Posts: 13514
Joined: 6/13/2006
From: The North
Status: offline
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The Fern and the Bamboo
This could very easy be applied to our lives when we feel the pressure of life
coming upon us. God will not put anything on us that we cannot handle. We are
like the bamboo, when all seem hopless, God is working on our root sysrtem,
that we might be stronger that ever before.
One day I decided to quit.... I quit my job,
my relationship, my spirituality..... I wanted
to quit my life. I went to the woods to have
one last talk with God.
"God", I said. "Can you give me one good
reason not to quit?"
His answer surprised me...
"Look around", He said. "Do you see the
fern and the bamboo?"
"Yes", I replied.
"When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds,
I took very good care of them. I gave them light.
I gave them water. The fern quickly grew from
the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor.
Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I
did not quit on the bamboo.
In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant
and plentiful. And again, nothing came from
the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the
bamboo".
He said. "In the third year, there was still
nothing from the bamboo seed. But I would
not quit.
In the fourth year, again, there was nothing
from the bamboo seed. But I would not quit.
He said. "Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout
emerged from the earth. Compared to the fern
it was seemingly small and insignificant.
But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over
100 feet tall. It had spent the five years growing
roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it
what it needed to survive. I would not give any
of my creations a challenge it could not handle."
He said to me. "Did you know, my child, that all
this time you have been struggling, you have
actually been growing roots. I would not quit on
the bamboo. I will never quit on you. Don't
compare yourself to others."
He said. "The bamboo had a different purpose
than the fern, yet, they both make the forest
beautiful."
"Your time will come," God said to me. " You
will rise high!"
"How high should I rise?" I asked.
"How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked in return.
"As high as it can?" I questioned.
"Yes." He said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can."
Never regret a day in your life.
Good days give you Happiness.
Bad days give you Experiences.
Both are essential to life.
Happiness keeps you Sweet,
Trials keep you Strong,
Sorrows keep you Human,
Failures keep you Humble,
Success keeps You Glowing,
But Only God keeps You Going!
Have a great day! The Son is shining!!
_____________________________
Visit www.smokymountainsanta.com
Cookie Recipes: http://www.northpole.com/Kitchen/Cookbook/cat0001.html
The place to be in the Smokies: www.hiddenmountain.com
CHRISTmas time's a comin'
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RE: Inspirations From Santa - 9/8/2008 7:53:14 AM
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GVfan
Posts: 17322
Joined: 3/28/2006
From: The Peach State
Status: offline
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Another good one Santa!!!!
_____________________________
Donna Hefner
Acworth, Ga.
<--- Gerald introduces Jacob to Georgia, Aug. 2008
Come visit at http://www.myspace.com/donnashappenings
And my BLOG, Keepin' An Eye on Greater
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RE: Inspirations From Santa - 9/8/2008 3:29:15 PM
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Smokymtnsanta
Posts: 13514
Joined: 6/13/2006
From: The North
Status: offline
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Things you should believe
A Birth Certificate shows we were born
A Death Certificate shows we died
Pictures show we lived!
Have a seat...Relax...And read this slowly.
I Believe...
just because two people argue,
doesn't mean they don't love each other.
And just because they don't argue,
doesn't mean they do love each other.
I Believe...
we don't have to change friends if
we understand friends change.
I Believe...
no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt
you every once in a while and you must forgive them for
that.
I Believe...
true friendship continues to grow, even over
the longest distance. Same goes for true love.
I Believe...
you can do something in an instant
that will give you heartache for life.
I Believe...
it's taking me a long time
to become the person I want to be.
I Believe...
you should always leave loved ones with
loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
I Believe...
you can keep going long after you think you can't.
I Believe...
we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
I Believe...
either you control your attitude or it controls you.
I Believe...
heroes are the people who do what has to be done
when it needs to be done, regardless of consequences.
I Believe...
money is a lousy way of keeping score.
I Believe...
my best friend and I can do anything or nothing
and have the best time.
I Believe...
sometimes the people you expect to kick you
when you're down will be the ones to help you get back up.
I Believe...
sometimes when I'm angry, I have the right to be angry,
but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
I Believe...
maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had
and what you'v e learned from them, and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.
I Believe...
it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others;
sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself..
I Believe...
no matter how bad your heart is broken,
the world doesn't stop for your grief.
I Believe...
our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are,
but we are responsible for who we become.
I Believe...
you shouldn't be so eager to find
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