RE: Poetry/lyric corner... and other stuff-You can post too.
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RE: Poetry/lyric corner... and other stuff-You can post... - 10/14/2007 8:57:03 PM
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cries-within
Posts: 160
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Interesting poetry ABC's
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RE: Poetry/lyric corner... and other stuff-You can post... - 10/22/2007 9:54:41 PM
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themostlysilentone
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Good day all. I thought I would share some of what I have written. Critique is very welcome. (The second poem is one of what was to be three. (The Death of Life, The Death of Hope, and Life Reborn, Hope Renewed). A Deep Look at Life I look into your eyes and see into the heart of time, To see thelove that runs so deep to save a soul like mine. To see the nailprints in Your hands and nailprints in Your feet, And see the suffering that gives us victory so sweet. How great a man and great a love to hang upon a tree, And take a guardspear to the side to set the captive free. Living through the loneliness without extrenal strength, Forsaken One of God for an eternity of length. It is finished was Your cry when sins high price was paid, No longer alone You soon died and in a grave was laid. Proclaimed Your vic'try over death for three quick days in hell, Then opened up the prison doors to free Your sons as well. You rose again on the thir day, as promised on that morn, That we to might be dead to sin and in Your pow'r reborn. You rse to heaven, mission doe, and sat upon Your throne, And sent to us a Comforter, we travel not alone. You now prepare a place for us beyond the starlit sky, That grave we have, and strenth You give, a hope that never dies. Someay this world is going to end, before Your throne we'll stand, Singing praises to the Great I am, and praises to the Lamb. The Death of Life All hope falls down, down to the earth, Nature cries out, in pangs of birth. Out comes the child, this world's destruction, Nature's response, to our dysfunction? What brought about, this end to all, Man's prideful heart, led to this fall. Forbidden fruit, perfection's ending, The choice once made, the outcome pending. Mistakes first fruits, time's ticking clock, Ravaged future, a keyless lock. Death is at hand, eternity lost, Life of pleasure, but what is the cost? The death of life, a life of death, The ravaged soul, counting each breath. The time has come, death stands at the door, The soul cries out, to breathe nevermore.
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RE: Poetry/lyric corner... and other stuff-You can post... - 10/22/2007 10:52:38 PM
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techne
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is there anything in particular you're looking for input on? first - what's with all the commas? for the most part, they're superfluous. i know you're trying to use them to establish a rhythm, but it's at the expense of natural speech. do you read these aloud? does the camma (literally a pause) help the rhytm create any sort of effect? does the poem build to anything? second - is there a reason for the somewhat archaic/ awkward phrasing in the poems? i can understand trying to capture a particular flavour/ tone but the trick when using a specific 'high' speech/ "voice" is that one should always be consistent in that. otherwise it won't work - the references in the language will fall flat. third - if the 2nd poem is to be part of a series, perhaps you should wait for input until the series is finished. that way we can look at the poems separately as well as a sequence. just some thoughts...
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And when people cease to believe that there is good and evil Only beauty will call to them and save them So that they still know how to say: this is true and that is false. One more day by Czeslaw Milosz
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RE: Poetry/lyric corner... and other stuff-You can post... - 11/4/2007 5:51:42 PM
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cries-within
Posts: 160
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November 4,2007 In so many words I tell you what I see The dasterdly shadows of the sin that's covered me In so many words you tell me what you see I still find it so hard to believe I want to believe so much it hurts inside the doubts come in and i find it i can't do it anymore I just can't see what you see all I get is glimpses tainted with my reality of who I've claim to be I watch as the world spins by I stare into the mirror... and everyday I fight it goes on between who I think I am and who you made me to be
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RE: Poetry/lyric corner... and other stuff-You can post... - 11/5/2007 10:03:17 PM
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sweetlefty
Posts: 2
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Okay...just found this poetry forum so forgive me, but I'm just going to jump right in. ------------------- I’m sorry. Sometimes enough to stop. Sometimes not. You are there, wordless when I return, and we sit together in different dimensions, Your color ebbing into unsettling transparencies, Your edges blurring into the air around us, Your closeness not so very close now, And it’s my fault. But then it always is. If… if I could give it to You and not steal it back, if I could love You more, if I could let You fill the hole I clutter with broken trinkets, if… But You don’t deal in ifs. I reach for You and of course there You are folding me in, tucking me deep and I let You, feeling all the while like an adulteress. I’ll go back, and You know it. But tonight You hold me with no mention of it. It is a free gift, Your arms around me. And if I really understood that and accepted it, this would be the last night I ever left Your side.
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RE: Poetry/lyric corner... and other stuff-You can post... - 11/6/2007 10:46:52 PM
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cries-within
Posts: 160
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:) welcome..... and your poem is good too. If dreamers dream If I am a dreamer I dream dreams Simple hopes Ifs and maybes Somedays and if onlys If dreams come true will they come true for me too so I just keep wishing Hoping its more than just a dream all the times my hopes were dashed I watched dreams get smashed those that remain I can only hope this time if it happened for you maybe it will come true just this once it'll be more than just fantasy
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RE: Poetry/lyric corner... and other stuff-You can post... - 11/7/2007 6:17:26 AM
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dwain
Posts: 6
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Man of G-d imperfect Mighty man still a man blessed of G-d his reasonable service in return, quietness confidence invulnerability impervious focused Christlike
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RE: Man of God imperfect - 11/8/2007 7:37:16 AM
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larry3
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The thoughts this poem give me r almost like the message found in 1 John. Thinking I am no longer a sinner would allow me to think I don't need Jesus as Lord, or God as my saviour. Though saying I continue to sin makes Christ's crucifixion powerless. Bible terms are good if you use them to try and help. For by grace are ye saved through faith, and that not of yourselves it is the gift of God lest any man should boast. Salvation is is recieved, not achieved. But ye beloved building yourselves up on your most Holy Faith, praying in the Holy Ghost, keep yourselves in the Love of God looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life. Jude 20:21
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RE: Poetry/lyric corner... and other stuff- You can pos... - 11/8/2007 9:03:36 AM
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larry3
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A Short Story with a moral At day care a young fellow of 7 yrs. old gladly got up from his chair when several young ladies needed to sit down. I saw this taking place, and decided it was the right thing to do, and got up from my seat too. moral of story- don't just do something because it looks right, do it because it is the right thing to do. Hebrews 6:10 God is not unjust so as to forget what you did and the love you showed for his name as you have ministered to the saints, and are still ministering. (Modern Language Bible)
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RE: Poetry/lyric corner... and other stuff- You can pos... - 11/9/2007 10:12:22 PM
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cries-within
Posts: 160
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Hide me in your arms again Fill me to the brim overflowing with you Its been so long Its been too long Since I've felt you close to me I know feelings aren't everything How much more of this can I take I remember how it was when I was close to you When I would worship you with all I that I was How it felt when your presence filled me How you refreshed my soul How you kept me alive when apart of me couldn't go on How long since I felt that wind blow through me Let me know of your loving mercy Let me know of your grace I know of my selfish filthness Is so undeserving of your rightousness That because of who you are You can have no sin That because of who you are You can clense me from within I know I don't deserve this I know of my unworthiness This restlessness inside me Is taking over and I'm loosing control I don't know how much longer I can keep hold I know of my sin I know how great it is I know of your forgiveness and Lord Here I am again but am I repenting truly this time Lord if I could but feel your peace again That lovely grace from within that touches me from the inside out Knowing that you are God and I am me just how it should be Just this once in for so long let me feel you again
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RE: Poetry/lyric corner... and other stuff- You can pos... - 11/23/2007 8:16:01 PM
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cries-within
Posts: 160
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voices once to cover up the silence now fall to deafing quiet once more time whisks away any chance to change this no time now to talk to time now for fun loneliness hasn't settled in yet like cold that hasn't found its way through you if silence lasts if it continues on then it'll find its way through the busy confines of my day i wish not to find myself there in loneliness which stabs through you inside you wish for someone anyone to break the silence just to not be alone and find a friend i know of my foolishness i know of the things I've said at times I wonder if anyone hears them or am I simply not there if i am seen i am unimportant i don't belong i don't seem too not here not anywhere i can think of one place that place isn't more than memory a lost dream shattered against time It isn't there anymore its not the same So what will I do if loneliness comes for me I can't say I don't even wish to think of it for now I savor what is left of the warmth bury myself in the confines of my busy world hoping that it won't find me
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RE: Poetry/lyric corner... and other stuff- You can pos... - 12/9/2007 10:51:34 PM
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cries-within
Posts: 160
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Sweep me away in a dream fly me on a magic carpet to fantasy land where things happen and adventures thrive where dragons and knights, so do princesses and fairies You could swing through the forest on a vine You could dive in the ocean and not have to hold your breath Meet all the fish and see the ocean floor Search for burried treasure on a foreign shore You could preform in for a bunch of giants Or watch the genie do grant three wishes You could spend christmas at the north pole or ride along in santa's sleigh Or you could join the shepherds and their sheep follow a star to see a child that was born You could climb the highest mountains just to see what's up there Sit and chat with kings and queens You could join the astronaughts when they landed on the moon Or see what's really behind that big hole in space You could travel to any time any place Be any where you wish... you could be a movie star Or watch your favorite musican play guitar Sweep me away from all the woes of today TAke me to a place of dreams Where I can fly and soar with my new found wings Sweep me away and let me find the place of dreams a place of wonderful things
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RE: Poetry/lyric corner... and other stuff-You can post... - 12/11/2007 11:01:09 AM
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Kroschke
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all I can say is WOW!!! That really relates to me. Thanks for posting it,
_____________________________
"Life is Hard, but God is awesome"
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RE: Poetry/lyric corner... and other stuff-You can post... - 12/11/2007 8:19:23 PM
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cries-within
Posts: 160
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your welcome... :)
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RE: Poetry/lyric corner... and other stuff-You can post... - 12/17/2007 9:51:31 PM
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cries-within
Posts: 160
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In silence and in the lonely confines of my reality I cling to hope that someday things will change for me I'm not sure when or even how that will come but for it I wait so anxiously I don't know how to voice what it is I don't know how to talk to anyone at least about this they don't see or know the shame I feel You say I shouldn't be ... but its that's how it is and how it seems I long for escape I long for it to end for freedom to come again that I can be me again just me I long for it to be Oh day where are you Oh glorious light where are you I cling to what hope I have afraid to move from wherer I am Oh come come let me know again sweet peace sweet peace a warm blanket to keep cold fear away a hug full of love that is wonderful
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RE: Poetry/lyric corner... and other stuff-You can post... - 12/22/2007 12:15:08 PM
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hvt
Posts: 68
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Weary With Crying During this journey, “Will My pearls stand the test? Against the onslaught of hell itself…will they fall? Dryness can’t deter them for I AM is their quest! Bound in Faith’s armor…they’ll await the great call!” I am weary with crying. My throat is parched. My eyes fail while I wait for my God…yet I trust! Over the path my feet trod, I see my Savior has marched. However dark appearing…Lo! He is near! Go on I must! How long, O, Lord? Will you forget your vessel always? This aching and longing for You! Oh, sorrow of sorrows! Though He slay me, still my hope rests on Ancient of Days. Whole possession of Him who holds all tomorrows! My God! My God! Are You here even in this dry region? Oh, crucible of utter loneliness! How can I endure? “Little one, hear Me. Fear not this trial of short season. Trust, and abide in My Word. I am making you pure.” “Feel not sad, My little one, while in this barren place. Have you forgotten, ‘The desert shall blossom as a rose?’ All tears will cease from falling upon your face… In My presence is a place prepared. For you I chose.” Cast me not from Your presence! Holy Spirit, do not leave! Is this that hyssop cleansing, washing and purging? With Your will in view…to You, O Lord, I do cleave. Be it done to me…however mighty it’s surging!
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RE: Poetry/lyric corner... and other stuff-You can post... - 12/28/2007 7:43:04 PM
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cries-within
Posts: 160
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I watch the sunset as it dips below the surface I feel the salty sea breeze on my skin I stand here wishing the time would stand still That to leave this now would be all too wrong That to leave this now and find its gone before we find all that it is in the moment That today the here and now it comes and goes It never will be again so take hold of the moment looking through the photographs still frames of a moments passed memories from long ago that are no more Still more will go and time goes on watch as the snow falls gently out the window pane see the flowers bloom in spring feel the cool water touch your skin as th sun beats down breathe in the air of the autumn leaves find it starts again and again... Hold on to moment Live for the moment plan for today and tomarrow don't hold on to the yesterdays instead live for the now Its all you'll ever really have Its all you ever have so remember ... and live for today for right now
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RE: Poetry/lyric corner... and other stuff-You can post... - 1/3/2008 10:03:17 PM
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4cutekids
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All I can say is wow
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RE: Poetry/lyric corner... and other stuff-You can post... - 1/4/2008 8:26:57 PM
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cries-within
Posts: 160
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thanks.. :)
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RE: Poetry/lyric corner... and other stuff-You can post... - 1/13/2008 8:37:03 PM
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cries-within
Posts: 160
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invisible I move invisible it seems I watch the others but no one watches me I speak but it doesn't matter its as if because I'm not seen I'm not heard I continue in silence watching the others waiting and listening and venting in my own mind i scream at them I jump up and down but i'm not seen so am i resigned to this forever to be alone then a welcoming sight shatters the bleak future I watch as I see someone coming toward me Someone saying my name and embracing arms i'm not alone i have a friend and he says to me even when no one sees you i do even when no one hears you i do and i never leave you i am here right here always
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RE: Poetry/lyric corner... and other stuff-You can post... - 1/14/2008 9:05:38 AM
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hvt
Posts: 68
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Lord, You are not unaware of the cries within Which ascend to Your great throne of mercy. Each one is bound to Your heart. There guarded. There treasured. Held in reserve, as it were, Awaiting the choice time of fulfillment. Yet, Lord, how is it that I could doubt What You promised to all patient waiters? Away with you, foul enemy! Your defeat Signaled my full acceptance by Father When I cast you out of my plans… In favor of those purposed from eternity Bearing the crimson signature of my Redeemer.
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RE: Poetry/lyric corner... and other stuff-You can post... - 1/15/2008 9:10:28 PM
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cries-within
Posts: 160
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:)
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RE: Poetry/lyric corner... and other stuff-You can post... - 1/24/2008 12:59:57 AM
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Pat2TheWay
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For I have used to write poems from way back in my ol' college days.. Now, poems I write What will they be about? About God, not like before when I used to write about.. Let me write something about Him, God & Jesus For I haven't known The Way to Jesus, I looked @ God @ every corners wherever I go to & find Him from somewhere along The Way.. until one day when I realize The Way to Jesus! It had been Him waiting at the door for me for I didn't know along the way when I prayed to His Father.. Somewhat, somehow, some reason I see this a sort of calling to tell me that I have got to know Jesus.. So, I can go & be free but not yet..
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RE: Poetry/lyric corner... and other stuff-You can post... - 1/26/2008 5:55:35 PM
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cries-within
Posts: 160
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Shine again wipe away the shadows that creep in clear away the thoughts that whisper in my ear dark clouds of grey that covered the skies with no stars to shine in the night chorus Let your light shine through break through and the son shines see what you mean to me see who I am let your light shine through let the son shine through me illuminate the darkness see everything in a new light see it begin to come to life all the things brought to light nothing hidden anymore see what is what was before time for change time for the light of life to shine again chorus see the hopeless thoughts see the lies and shattered broken pieces see all that was and all that can be when the light of life shines in everything changes again bridge like the sun after the rain like moon on a dark night like candle in the gloom like hope for the hopeless like water to the thirsty its what is needed more than anything when the light of life when son shines again 2nd chorus so let him shine through me let your light shine let your light shine let your light shine through me Let your light shine! Choose (song in progress :) ) Shadows lurk in my mind Thoughts of tomarrows in its mystery Spent in wonder of what there could be Memories of yesterdays linger and replayed moments I think of what I could have done what I should have said but now the moment's gone and nothings left but memory Chorus All these ifs and maybes All these could have should haves bring me down there's nothing I can do now except to deal with what's right now So right now I choose to be right now I choose to follow you with all of me Life is right now it'll never be again The moments here then gone so grab it with two hands Make your decisions for right now and live for Him with all you are That's all we'll have That's all it'll ever be as long as we're here on earth chorus end I choose in this moment to follow you... living each moment isn't just a once a lifetime but every moment of every day living for you that's the way we live for you we choose so today what will it be... what will it be... I don't know about you but I choose to live for Jesus this day.
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RE: Poetry/lyric corner... and other stuff-You can post... - 1/27/2008 3:12:57 PM
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hvt
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Very poignant and beautiful! Praise His holy name!
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