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RE: 30 Something & Single -Encouragement Thread

 
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RE: 30 Something & Single -Encouragement Thread - 9/20/2008 4:16:23 AM   
OneOfHisJewels


Posts: 2694
Joined: 8/9/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:


My answer almost always throws them when I say "I'm not married, so no I don't have kids".


I say that one all the time and people are like . I find it can be a good segue into witnessing, though. Except I say, not married YET, lol.

Disclaimer: I am not putting down anyone that's unmarried with kids, I am not saying I'm better than anyone else..anything I did well, was by the grace of God, and I have my sins too, I don't think anyone else's sins are worse than mine (plus I know some with kids are widows/divorcees).

_____________________________

Now thank we all our God, with hearts and hands and voices, what wondrous things He's done, in whom the world rejoices.
Post #: 376
RE: 30 Something & Single -Encouragement Thread - 9/20/2008 8:28:42 AM   
ebony101


Posts: 942
Joined: 4/1/2007
From: the big blue marble
Status: offline
quote:

Co-Worker: "So ... how old are you?"
Me: "36"


Ha! I never answer that question, even if it's asked by co-workers. I remember one time a co-wordker asked me;

Her: How old did you say you were?
Me: I never did.

I'm a bit self-conscious about the age thing. Knowing how I feel about it I don't ask others their age either.

_____________________________

'We're writing a gospel, a chapter each day,
By the things that we do & the words that we say.'
Post #: 377
RE: 30 Something & Single -Encouragement Thread - 9/20/2008 1:42:23 PM   
trainfan


Posts: 2341
Joined: 7/26/2007
From: neither here nor there
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OneOfHisJewels

quote:


My answer almost always throws them when I say "I'm not married, so no I don't have kids".


I say that one all the time and people are like . I find it can be a good segue into witnessing, though. Except I say, not married YET, lol.

Disclaimer: I am not putting down anyone that's unmarried with kids, I am not saying I'm better than anyone else..anything I did well, was by the grace of God, and I have my sins too, I don't think anyone else's sins are worse than mine (plus I know some with kids are widows/divorcees).


I'll ditto the disclaimer.

What bothers me is it is always total strangers leading off with the kids question first. I used to just answer "I'm not married" then I would get "so do you have kids or not?" So now I just answer the other way.

_____________________________

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Post #: 378
RE: 30 Something & Single -Encouragement Thread - 9/21/2008 2:18:11 AM   
LabGuy


Posts: 3289
Joined: 9/22/2007
From: NW Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I honestly can't recall anyone ever asking me if I were married (or had kids). I dunno why that might be.

-Robb
Post #: 379
RE: 30 Something & Single -Encouragement Thread - 9/21/2008 3:42:21 PM   
rgod


Posts: 1555
Joined: 4/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LabGuy

I honestly can't recall anyone ever asking me if I were married (or had kids). I dunno why that might be.

-Robb



Robb - must be nice! I get that question a lot, especially lately at this new job. I'm open about my age etc. - I don't really care if people know. I think people ask me about it because they think I'm in my 20s and I guess you aren't so sensitive about age then? Anyway, here people are forever dating, getting married, and having kids - so it is the major topic of conversation. Perhaps your environment is different? Are you around a lot of singles?
Post #: 380
RE: 30 Something & Single -Encouragement Thread - 9/21/2008 5:37:28 PM   
LabGuy


Posts: 3289
Joined: 9/22/2007
From: NW Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rgod

quote:

ORIGINAL: LabGuy

I honestly can't recall anyone ever asking me if I were married (or had kids). I dunno why that might be.

-Robb



Robb - must be nice! I get that question a lot, especially lately at this new job. I'm open about my age etc. - I don't really care if people know. I think people ask me about it because they think I'm in my 20s and I guess you aren't so sensitive about age then? Anyway, here people are forever dating, getting married, and having kids - so it is the major topic of conversation. Perhaps your environment is different? Are you around a lot of singles?


Nope. Unless you count the college students, of course. Everyone I know at work and church is married.

I did have one of the professors recently comment that he thought I was younger than I am. Which I thought was odd since he was here when I started right out of grad school, so he should have some idea how old I actually am. Oh well, I chalk it up to him being a theorist and not very observant.

-Robb
Post #: 381
RE: 30 Something & Single -Encouragement Thread - 9/22/2008 9:40:28 PM   
shemaromans

 

Posts: 3829
Joined: 3/30/2007
Status: offline 		Hey, Robb!

What's the split in genders for the faculty and staff at the university?

Where I teach, all of the faculty and staff (minus one custodian and the resident computer tech) are women.

_____________________________

"But as for me, it is good to be near God." Psalm 73:28
Post #: 382
RE: 30 Something & Single -Encouragement Thread - 9/23/2008 1:53:52 AM   
LabGuy


Posts: 3289
Joined: 9/22/2007
From: NW Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shemaromans

Hey, Robb!

What's the split in genders for the faculty and staff at the university?

Where I teach, all of the faculty and staff (minus one custodian and the resident computer tech) are women.


Hi Shema!

Man, I'm at the wrong school.

Can't really say outside of my own building what the proportions are, but it's definitely a mix. In the Physics Dept. we have one woman out of six professors. Upstairs in the Math Dept. it's about four out of ten.

-Robb
Post #: 383
RE: 30 Something & Single -Encouragement Thread - 9/23/2008 6:31:17 AM   
mutinywxgirl


Posts: 12578
Joined: 4/29/2005
From: west coast of FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LabGuy

quote:

ORIGINAL: shemaromans

Hey, Robb!

What's the split in genders for the faculty and staff at the university?

Where I teach, all of the faculty and staff (minus one custodian and the resident computer tech) are women.


Hi Shema!

Man, I'm at the wrong school.

Can't really say outside of my own building what the proportions are, but it's definitely a mix. In the Physics Dept. we have one woman out of six professors. Upstairs in the Math Dept. it's about four out of ten.

-Robb


I would tend to think that once you get to the university level, there are going to be more men than women in the admin/faculty.

_____________________________

When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.


Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
Post #: 384
RE: 30 Something & Single -Encouragement Thread - 9/23/2008 9:20:25 AM   
rgod


Posts: 1555
Joined: 4/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mutinywxgirl

I would tend to think that once you get to the university level, there are going to be more men than women in the admin/faculty.


True for most colleges/universities - but I think the disparity depends a lot on the department. The math and science departments usually contain more men - no matter where you go. But, you'll usually find more women in the humanities and social science fields. So, given the demands of being a college professor, how does a single male professor in a male dominated department meet a single female professor (or administrator)? Look at his interests and start getting involved with interdisciplinary seminars, projects, or even conferences that would expand his professional interests while at the same time expanding his pool of acquaintances outside of the university? Do service work at the university level? The old-fashioned strike up a conversation as he walks across campus? Maybe become a poll worker on election day at a site near the campus . (That was an excellent suggestion in another thread by the way). Hmmm ... are there are any Christian groups among the professors - maybe people who come together to pray or have a bible study?

Just thought of an idea for a thread about job selection and our desires to be married. I'll think about it during my walk ...

< Message edited by rgod -- 9/23/2008 9:40:32 AM >
Post #: 385
RE: 30 Something & Single -Encouragement Thread - 9/23/2008 11:09:03 AM   
LabGuy


Posts: 3289
Joined: 9/22/2007
From: NW Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rgod

quote:

ORIGINAL: mutinywxgirl

I would tend to think that once you get to the university level, there are going to be more men than women in the admin/faculty.


True for most colleges/universities - but I think the disparity depends a lot on the department. The math and science departments usually contain more men - no matter where you go. But, you'll usually find more women in the humanities and social science fields.


Right, and I do see that here. In fact, up until two years ago there were only men in the Physics Department. The last hiring round we aggressively sought out women candidates to replace a retiring professor.

Oh, and actually, I'm not a professor. I just play one on TV. (Err... the Internet.) Seriously though, I'm staff, though I do teach some labs.

-Robb
Post #: 386
RE: 30 Something & Single -Encouragement Thread - 9/23/2008 11:44:17 AM   
rgod


Posts: 1555
Joined: 4/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LabGuy

Oh, and actually, I'm not a professor. I just play one on TV. (Err... the Internet.) Seriously though, I'm staff, though I do teach some labs.

-Robb


Sorry that I got that part wrong! I guess I was using that "professor" as a generic term - not in terms of actual position title (associate prof, instructor, full prof, lecturer etc.).
Post #: 387
RE: 30 Something & Single -Encouragement Thread - 9/23/2008 1:43:45 PM   
iwillfearnoevil


Posts: 4209
Joined: 11/6/2007
From: upstate NY
Status: offline 		a little encouragement for my 30-something single friends:
[image]http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/dating_pools.png[/image]

edit: too bad cw image tag is broken
Dating Pools Comic

_____________________________

Photoblogging My Life
Post #: 388
RE: 30 Something & Single -Encouragement Thread - 9/23/2008 2:25:30 PM   
rgod


Posts: 1555
Joined: 4/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillfearnoevil

a little encouragement for my 30-something single friends:
[image]http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/dating_pools.png[/image]

edit: too bad cw image tag is broken
Dating Pools Comic


Nice IWFNE! And yes, the mathematical equation that helps one to determine the "creepiness" factor holds true I think :)
Post #: 389
RE: 30 Something & Single -Encouragement Thread - 9/24/2008 8:06:06 AM   
Jess77


Posts: 214
Joined: 1/26/2008
From: Deep in the heart of Texas
Status: offline 		You can put me on the 30 something never married, dated, etc. list.

On a recent visit to my Aunt's house (keeping in mind that she's a redneck with 3 kids by 3 different fathers and 2 grand kids by 2 different fathers) and she just bluntly asked... "Are you going to have a baby?" I was speechless. Mom came to my rescue with "She's not married yet." Then when Gustav came through they came to stay with us and again she asked me when I was having a baby. Even at work the 18 and 21 year old receptionsts are telling me I need a boyfriend and they need to find one for me. Truth of the matter is, whenever I find a guy I like, he gets engaged very quickly after I decide I like him or else he is not into relationships at that time. Or maybe it's just me. All I can say for sure is that I am sick of being single. I want to have someone that I can talk to at night, that I can share experiences with, and with whom I can raise a family. I am beginning to think it's not in God's plan for my life. Most of the time I don't think about it and am fine, but usually around the time that I want to go to a concert or a movie or something and have no one to go with that I start wishing I wasn't single.
Post #: 390
RE: 30 Something & Single -Encouragement Thread - 9/24/2008 11:13:35 AM   
cherish405


Posts: 32434
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: The Land Down Under
Status: offline 		I used to get asked if I was married. Don't get asked that much nowadays. I find it hard for the asker if they start asking me if I have kids. I can't have kids. People usually don't know what to say to that.

I actually find it harder when people ask me why I've never dated, rather than never married.

_____________________________

*** Gone crazy. Back soon. ***
Post #: 391
RE: 30 Something & Single -Encouragement Thread - 9/24/2008 2:10:14 PM   
raspberry331

 

Posts: 6526
Joined: 5/7/2005
Status: offline 		what's this forum all about?
Post #: 392
RE: 30 Something & Single -Encouragement Thread - 9/24/2008 2:11:21 PM   
mutinywxgirl


Posts: 12578
Joined: 4/29/2005
From: west coast of FL
Status: offline 		Encouragement for 30-something singles - for whatever issues they're dealing with, etc. We have a 20-something thread and a 40-something thread.

_____________________________

When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.


Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
Post #: 393
RE: 30 Something & Single -Encouragement Thread - 9/24/2008 2:16:31 PM   
broyce1981


Posts: 1893
Joined: 8/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillfearnoevil

a little encouragement for my 30-something single friends:
[image]http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/dating_pools.png[/image]

edit: too bad cw image tag is broken
Dating Pools Comic


Oh my goodness! I use that same formula!
Post #: 394
RE: 30 Something & Single -Encouragement Thread - 9/24/2008 8:18:34 PM   
ladioffaith


Posts: 2998
Joined: 3/31/2005
From: NE Ohio (L.A. . . Lower Akron)
Status: offline 		I've got about 8 months left to be qualified to post in this thread.

Anybody up for helping me come up with a list of, say, 40 things to do before I turn 40?

_____________________________

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with
his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." Zeph. 3:17
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Post #: 395
RE: 30 Something & Single -Encouragement Thread - 9/26/2008 2:35:47 AM   
ebony101


Posts: 942
Joined: 4/1/2007
From: the big blue marble
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LabGuy
I honestly can't recall anyone ever asking me if I were married (or had kids). I dunno why that might be.

-Robb


I would have thought that no one asked you this question because you were a guy. It used to be that guys weren't asked "Do you have kids?" But nowadays, I guess guys aren't exempt anymore.

_____________________________

'We're writing a gospel, a chapter each day,
By the things that we do & the words that we say.'
Post #: 396
RE: 30 Something & Single -Encouragement Thread - 10/10/2008 8:59:35 AM   
FunBetty


Posts: 7210
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Dr Pepper Country
Status: offline 		So a question for the 30 somethings out there that I've been thinking about.....what are your parents thoughts towards your dating/whatever life? Do you keep them informed? Do you wait to invite them to the wedding? lol

_____________________________

Fun Betty's Therapy Centre and Cheesecake and Cookie Shoppe
Post #: 397
RE: 30 Something & Single -Encouragement Thread - 10/10/2008 9:15:28 AM   
Tinkerbell_


Posts: 7761
Joined: 1/25/2008
From: NeverNeverLand
Status: offline 		My parents shove me at every Tom, Dick, and Harry that saunters by. If I tell them I met a man they get all panty and demand, "Is he single?" and when I'm like, "He is...he's also a 75 year old widow creeping into his death bed." they ponder it then ask, "Well, if he doesn't have children I don't see why not..."

Yes, I will probably invite them to the wedding but only if my mother is muzzled and my father restrained from embracing the groom every five seconds.

Can you tell they want to marry me off?????

As for keeping them informed, I do sometimes...when I was dating for the sake of dating I didn't tell them anything because I didn't really want to hear them grumble. "Tink! He's 19!!!!!!! What are you going to do with a 19 year!?!?!? Teach him to ride a bike!?!?!?!?!" Yeah...didn't really want to go there.

Now that I'm actually more serious in my pursuals (or being pursued) when I feel a relationship turning serious, I would at least inform them about it. Well, I would hope I would. I haven't had a serious relationship since my marriage (!) so I don't really know what I would do...just what I intend to do.

And yes...I babbled...deal with it.

_____________________________
Post #: 398
RE: 30 Something & Single -Encouragement Thread - 10/10/2008 9:20:01 AM   
raivyne


Posts: 934
Joined: 8/28/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FunBetty

So a question for the 30 somethings out there that I've been thinking about.....what are your parents thoughts towards your dating/whatever life? Do you keep them informed? Do you wait to invite them to the wedding? lol


My mom hopes that I won't date another man until I graduate with my four year teaching degree

If I had a beau my mom would know and she would tell dad too I'm sure.

_____________________________

P.U.S.H. – Pray Until Something Happens

What if God is asking us for a sign?

Knowledge is proud; wisdom is humble.

Patiently waiting for my KSA
Post #: 399
RE: 30 Something & Single -Encouragement Thread - 10/10/2008 6:11:10 PM   
SamsonUSA


Posts: 610
Joined: 10/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OneOfHisJewels

quote:


My answer almost always throws them when I say "I'm not married, so no I don't have kids".


I say that one all the time and people are like . I find it can be a good segue into witnessing, though. Except I say, not married YET, lol.

Disclaimer: I am not putting down anyone that's unmarried with kids, I am not saying I'm better than anyone else..anything I did well, was by the grace of God, and I have my sins too, I don't think anyone else's sins are worse than mine (plus I know some with kids are widows/divorcees).

I love this answer Jewels so I'm borrowing it from you. I've been gifted to work with children and I get asked weekly by parents picking up their kids from either my 1st grade or 3 yr old Sunday School class how many children I have of my own. I usually say none, and get the " awww too bad since your so good with kids" type response.
I am content knowing I am where God wants me to be at this point of my life. I also know that if I don't stop dating unbelievers I'll never get married anyway. Lol maybe a bachelors defense mechanism.

< Message edited by SamsonUSA -- 10/10/2008 6:54:52 PM >

_____________________________

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and earth!

Casting Crowns
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