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RE: 30 Something & Single -Encouragement Thread - 9/17/2008 2:38:28 PM
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trainfan
Posts: 2341
Joined: 7/26/2007
From: neither here nor there
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quote:
ORIGINAL: blueeyedgirl2
On the same note, though, how does a Christian girl in her 30's let a guy know that she's interested?
If I was a guy, I'd want to at least see some positive signs from the girl. But how do you know if I'm (or whoever) is interested or if I'm just nice?  Does that make sense? Help me out here. . . 
You're on the right track with the positive signs. But from a guys perspective it is hard to tell if you're just being nice or are really interested.
Wait a second while I get my flame retardant suit since I was flamed for this answer once before.
OK lets say you are interested in a guy at church. Let's also say you say hello to him after the service and start a conversation. Find out things about him, where he works or his interests, keep your ears open for something to ask about next week, like maybe a project he is working on, a sports team plays on or likes or a book he is reading, whatever find something. Then next week look for him and make sure you say hello and most importantly ask about something he told you last week. Like how did that project turn out or did your team win the game, etc. This may take a couple times of doing this for him to get a clue. With particularly clueless or shy guys (like me) it may take him a while to catch on. So be prepared for this to go on for a little while, or you could bring in a 2x4 and whack him with it.
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RE: 30 Something & Single -Encouragement Thread - 9/17/2008 3:39:01 PM
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Tinkerbell_
Posts: 7761
Joined: 1/25/2008
From: NeverNeverLand
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That's pretty much my point, Robb. Why do you need any signal from a woman to ask her out? Why not just take the bull by the horns and just do it? I mean...the worst that can happen is she says no. The other options are she could say yes but as a friend or even better...YES!
You know? When you dig for gold you're gonna get dirty. And confidence is, pardon the expression, sexy.
I remember in college I had a really nice guy ask me out and we dated for a few months. Come to find out that the HOT big man on campus was actually crushing on me and since he didn't take the initiative to ask me out, I never knew. He knew I thought I was dishy but since he didn't step up he lost out.
And Robb...*sigh* confidence is EVERYTHING...the more you have the better off you are.
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RE: 30 Something & Single -Encouragement Thread - 9/17/2008 3:41:50 PM
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losgan
Posts: 714
Joined: 4/8/2007
From: Austin-Garland, Texas
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: trainfan
quote:
ORIGINAL: blueeyedgirl2
On the same note, though, how does a Christian girl in her 30's let a guy know that she's interested?
If I was a guy, I'd want to at least see some positive signs from the girl. But how do you know if I'm (or whoever) is interested or if I'm just nice? Does that make sense? Help me out here. . .
You're on the right track with the positive signs. But from a guys perspective it is hard to tell if you're just being nice or are really interested.
Wait a second while I get my flame retardant suit since I was flamed for this answer once before.
OK lets say you are interested in a guy at church. Let's also say you say hello to him after the service and start a conversation. Find out things about him, where he works or his interests, keep your ears open for something to ask about next week, like maybe a project he is working on, a sports team plays on or likes or a book he is reading, whatever find something. Then next week look for him and make sure you say hello and most importantly ask about something he told you last week. Like how did that project turn out or did your team win the game, etc. This may take a couple times of doing this for him to get a clue. With particularly clueless or shy guys (like me) it may take him a while to catch on. So be prepared for this to go on for a little while, or you could bring in a 2x4 and whack him with it.
I guess that has been my dilema ... though knowing me - most people think how I feel/think is written on my face, so how could he NOT notice how I light up when I see him? :)
There we go with the 2x4 again - I just can't picture him being impressed if I whack him, and he says "Ow, what was that for?" and I say "I'm INTERESTED in you!" He might be afraid of what would happen next?
So based on what you're saying ... my questions and saying hi and smiling may be going unread? I have no poker face - how can he not tell???
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RE: 30 Something & Single -Encouragement Thread - 9/17/2008 3:52:11 PM
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trainfan
Posts: 2341
Joined: 7/26/2007
From: neither here nor there
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: losgan
quote:
ORIGINAL: trainfan
quote:
ORIGINAL: blueeyedgirl2
On the same note, though, how does a Christian girl in her 30's let a guy know that she's interested?
If I was a guy, I'd want to at least see some positive signs from the girl. But how do you know if I'm (or whoever) is interested or if I'm just nice? Does that make sense? Help me out here. . .
You're on the right track with the positive signs. But from a guys perspective it is hard to tell if you're just being nice or are really interested.
Wait a second while I get my flame retardant suit since I was flamed for this answer once before.
OK lets say you are interested in a guy at church. Let's also say you say hello to him after the service and start a conversation. Find out things about him, where he works or his interests, keep your ears open for something to ask about next week, like maybe a project he is working on, a sports team plays on or likes or a book he is reading, whatever find something. Then next week look for him and make sure you say hello and most importantly ask about something he told you last week. Like how did that project turn out or did your team win the game, etc. This may take a couple times of doing this for him to get a clue. With particularly clueless or shy guys (like me) it may take him a while to catch on. So be prepared for this to go on for a little while, or you could bring in a 2x4 and whack him with it.
I guess that has been my dilema ... though knowing me - most people think how I feel/think is written on my face, so how could he NOT notice how I light up when I see him? :)
There we go with the 2x4 again - I just can't picture him being impressed if I whack him, and he says "Ow, what was that for?" and I say "I'm INTERESTED in you!" He might be afraid of what would happen next?
So based on what you're saying ... my questions and saying hi and smiling may be going unread? I have no poker face - how can he not tell???
It could be going unread or he may be shy in the area of asking women out and is trying to find the nerve to ask. Trust me he may not be able to tell. He may get so flustered when you're around he can't tell.
You said in your crush thread that he had forgotten he would see you tonight so if it were me (and not to put words in your mouth) I might say something like "what would you have done if I hadn't reminded you last night that you would see me tonight?"
_____________________________
<---- Look a smiling dog!
________________________________
Support your local economy buy local and support local retailers.
________________________________
Now on Facebook trainfans model railroad pictures.
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RE: 30 Something & Single -Encouragement Thread - 9/17/2008 3:55:49 PM
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losgan
Posts: 714
Joined: 4/8/2007
From: Austin-Garland, Texas
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: trainfan
quote:
ORIGINAL: losgan
quote:
ORIGINAL: trainfan
quote:
ORIGINAL: blueeyedgirl2
On the same note, though, how does a Christian girl in her 30's let a guy know that she's interested?
If I was a guy, I'd want to at least see some positive signs from the girl. But how do you know if I'm (or whoever) is interested or if I'm just nice? Does that make sense? Help me out here. . .
You're on the right track with the positive signs. But from a guys perspective it is hard to tell if you're just being nice or are really interested.
Wait a second while I get my flame retardant suit since I was flamed for this answer once before.
OK lets say you are interested in a guy at church. Let's also say you say hello to him after the service and start a conversation. Find out things about him, where he works or his interests, keep your ears open for something to ask about next week, like maybe a project he is working on, a sports team plays on or likes or a book he is reading, whatever find something. Then next week look for him and make sure you say hello and most importantly ask about something he told you last week. Like how did that project turn out or did your team win the game, etc. This may take a couple times of doing this for him to get a clue. With particularly clueless or shy guys (like me) it may take him a while to catch on. So be prepared for this to go on for a little while, or you could bring in a 2x4 and whack him with it.
I guess that has been my dilema ... though knowing me - most people think how I feel/think is written on my face, so how could he NOT notice how I light up when I see him? :)
There we go with the 2x4 again - I just can't picture him being impressed if I whack him, and he says "Ow, what was that for?" and I say "I'm INTERESTED in you!" He might be afraid of what would happen next?
So based on what you're saying ... my questions and saying hi and smiling may be going unread? I have no poker face - how can he not tell???
It could be going unread or he may be shy in the area of asking women out and is trying to find the nerve to ask. Trust me he may not be able to tell. He may get so flustered when you're around he can't tell.
You said in your crush thread that he had forgotten he would see you tonight so if it were me (and not to put words in your mouth) I might say something like "what would you have done if I hadn't reminded you last night that you would see me tonight?"
Oooh, with 9th graders around? I'm not that bold! I don't want to embarass him (or me!).
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RE: 30 Something & Single -Encouragement Thread - 9/17/2008 3:57:16 PM
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trainfan
Posts: 2341
Joined: 7/26/2007
From: neither here nor there
Status: offline
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quote:
Train and Tink, I think you both make really good points. I just wanted to add that when you've been completely alone for 15-20 years, with absolutely no prospects, it becomes second nature to assume no one could ever possibly be interested in you. It can take a bit more "signaling" to cut through that.
Ditto on the bolded type.
_____________________________
<---- Look a smiling dog!
________________________________
Support your local economy buy local and support local retailers.
________________________________
Now on Facebook trainfans model railroad pictures.
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RE: 30 Something & Single -Encouragement Thread - 9/17/2008 3:57:26 PM
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LabGuy
Posts: 3289
Joined: 9/22/2007
From: NW Pennsylvania
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Tinkerbell_
And Robb...*sigh* confidence is EVERYTHING...the more you have the better off you are.
Aye, there's the rub. Building it is a long, slow process.
-Robb
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RE: 30 Something & Single -Encouragement Thread - 9/17/2008 4:03:33 PM
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mutinywxgirl
Posts: 12578
Joined: 4/29/2005
From: west coast of FL
Status: offline
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Hate to break it to you all - but it doesn't get any better in your 40's either. In fact, I think the men just get more clueless, and we women give up.
And Robb - I agree - it IS a long process - I've only been working on it for a couple of years myself - it's hard!
_____________________________
When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.
Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
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RE: 30 Something & Single -Encouragement Thread - 9/17/2008 5:19:32 PM
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joy2give2u
Posts: 5127
Joined: 9/19/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline
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GNM I see you as a very confident woman.........
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Transformation happens NOT when we get through scripture BUT when scripture gets through Us
My Smiles
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RE: 30 Something & Single -Encouragement Thread - 9/17/2008 5:34:25 PM
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joy2give2u
Posts: 5127
Joined: 9/19/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline
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I am CW allows you to build your confidence.........maybe it would help to give all your co workers names and avatars?
_____________________________
Transformation happens NOT when we get through scripture BUT when scripture gets through Us
My Smiles
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