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bro-in-law is not speaking to my hubby, causing issues - 8/6/2008 3:11:13 PM
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redsgrl
Posts: 12
Joined: 4/25/2005
Status: offline
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My husband's younger brother (30) hasn't been speaking to my husband (33) for over a year now. My bro-in-law is getting married next month and basically doesn't want my husband to participate in his wedding (though his fiance is forcing it). As you can imagine, this has caused major stress in the family (not about just this issue, but other things over the last year have blown way up). My husband would prefer not to even go to the wedding if his brother doesn't want him there. That would only make things worse with his parents and cause what should be a happy day, a very bummer of a day for his parents.
I've proposed that my hubby talk to his soon-to-be sister in law and see if there's some way we can gracefully bow out of participating in the wedding (we're not part of the wedding party, but she has involved us and our 2 young children in the ceremony). Then, I suggested that we attend only the ceremony and then duck out before the reception begins. That way, we can at least be there for his brother's important day and not cause him to much grief. Even though his brother is behaving like a child, I still believe that he should have a nice wedding, because it is HIS wedding also.
Should we just leave things as is, or try to come to a compromise some how?
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RE: bro-in-law is not speaking to my hubby, causing issues - 8/6/2008 3:14:48 PM
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laura...
Posts: 2842
Joined: 3/1/2005
From: NE Ohio
Status: offline
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Is there any hope of them reconciling prior to the wedding?
_____________________________
This is what the Lord says: “Stop at the crossroads and look around. Ask for the old, godly way, and walk in it. Travel its path, and you will find rest for your souls. But you reply, ‘No, that’s not the road we want!’ Jer 6:16
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RE: bro-in-law is not speaking to my hubby, causing issues - 8/6/2008 3:22:50 PM
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Kat_D
Posts: 3144
Joined: 9/2/2005
From: Where We Shake, Rattle & Roll!
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Is there any way for your husband to arrange to meet with his brother or even call him to ask for his forgiveness and say that no matter what has gone on in the past, it is time to let it go?
When one party will just step out, humble himself, become the bigger person and make an attempt to open the door that has been closed, many family battles have been brought to a peaceful resolution.
_____________________________
~Kat
"...And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes...no more death, sorrow, nor crying."
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RE: bro-in-law is not speaking to my hubby, causing issues - 8/6/2008 10:26:56 PM
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Sadey
Posts: 531
Joined: 7/25/2007
Status: offline
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I know you want to bring peace to this situation but it might be best if you stayed out of it. I'm saying this because they might turn on you and decide its all your fault. Famiilies are funny about things, they can gripe and complain all they want to about each other but if they even think an inlaw has said something against one of their own, watch out! Notice i didn't say if the inlaw said something but if the family thought they did 
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RE: bro-in-law is not speaking to my hubby, causing issues - 8/7/2008 1:19:52 PM
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jaimestarcross
Posts: 775
Joined: 11/28/2005
Status: offline
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Unless the brothers can reconcile - there's no point in going to the
wedding and causing more stress/irritation.
*I wouldn't attend any event where my husband wasn't welcomed... I have done that
in the past when I was married the first time... my extended family objected to my white husband - they said I could attend the family reunion but he couldn't... I stayed at home with my husband.
Send congratulations/gift and leave it at that.
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RE: bro-in-law is not speaking to my hubby, causing issues - 8/7/2008 1:39:33 PM
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redsgrl
Posts: 12
Joined: 4/25/2005
Status: offline
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It would literally take God stepping in front of my bro-in-law's face and speaking to him for something to happen between he and my husband.
My husband has done everything he knows to do to make things right. I'm obviously biased because he's my husband, but it's my bro-in-law who needs to forgive and move on. He's incredibly stubborn and in my opinion, REALLY immature to be behaving the way he is towards my hubby.
My husband serves God - so I know that all we can do is pray for my bro-in-law (he walked away from God because of offense many years ago).
Not attending the wedding is not an option for us. My in-laws would be very upset if we didn't (they're wonderful people and it would hurt them if we didn't attend).
I guess that the best thing for me to do is just keep my nose out of it and let them work it out. I know that we can always just duck out of the wedding early if things get tense.
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RE: bro-in-law is not speaking to my hubby, causing issues - 8/7/2008 1:42:56 PM
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GregandJenny
Posts: 619
Joined: 2/16/2006
From: Near Seattle Washington
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quote:
My husband serves God - so I know that all we can do is pray for my bro-in-law (he walked away from God because of offense many years ago).
Not attending the wedding is not an option for us. My in-laws would be very upset if we didn't (they're wonderful people and it would hurt them if we didn't attend).
Ehhhh. Going to the wedding is almost disrespectful to the brother-in-law, if it's gonna cause strife.
G
_____________________________
It does not have to be well with my circumstance to be well with my soul!
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