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When looks change... - 9/1/2008 12:12:04 AM
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solo_soprano22
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I don't hang around here much, but I've really always had this question in my mind.
What happens if you marry a woman, and she changes after a while? I know there's a thread on obesity already, but this is just the example I thought of. I know plenty of men who would never date or marry an obese woman because it disgusts them... or they find it unattractive, etc.
What happens if she's thin when you marry, but at some point after that... or after having several children (or just one, in some instances), she's overweight? I know some men who I really think would leave, but what do you think YOU would do?
ETA: I'm asking as if the situation will remain the same; some people can lose weight, remove stretch marks, change this or that to go back to the "original." What happens when the situation has changed, and as far as you know, it's remaining that way?
< Message edited by solo_soprano22 -- 9/1/2008 12:18:36 AM >
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For God, For Learning, Forever.
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RE: When looks change... - 9/1/2008 2:09:16 AM
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Child4Jesus
Posts: 459
Joined: 5/24/2005
From: Long Island, Nassau, Elmont, NY
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quote:
ORIGINAL: solo_soprano22
I don't hang around here much, but I've really always had this question in my mind.
What happens if you marry a woman, and she changes after a while? I know there's a thread on obesity already, but this is just the example I thought of. I know plenty of men who would never date or marry an obese woman because it disgusts them... or they find it unattractive, etc.
What happens if she's thin when you marry, but at some point after that... or after having several children (or just one, in some instances), she's overweight? I know some men who I really think would leave, but what do you think YOU would do?
ETA: I'm asking as if the situation will remain the same; some people can lose weight, remove stretch marks, change this or that to go back to the "original." What happens when the situation has changed, and as far as you know, it's remaining that way?
I wouldn't leave but I would certainly hope she would make an effort to lose weight. I mean if I married her and she is 110, has a baby, blows up to 220, I would hope she would want to lose weight. I know it might take time but 1 year later she shouldn't still be at that weight unless some health issue is preventing her from doing so.
_____________________________
In Christ,
Richad
The greatest heresy to American Christianity is that if you ask Jesus to come into your heart, he definitely will.
Paul Washer
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RE: When looks change... - 9/1/2008 2:41:50 AM
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OneJohn410
Posts: 1231
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quote:
ORIGINAL: solo_soprano22
I don't hang around here much, but I've really always had this question in my mind.
What happens if you marry a woman, and she changes after a while? I know there's a thread on obesity already, but this is just the example I thought of. I know plenty of men who would never date or marry an obese woman because it disgusts them... or they find it unattractive, etc.
What happens if she's thin when you marry, but at some point after that... or after having several children (or just one, in some instances), she's overweight? I know some men who I really think would leave, but what do you think YOU would do?
ETA: I'm asking as if the situation will remain the same; some people can lose weight, remove stretch marks, change this or that to go back to the "original." What happens when the situation has changed, and as far as you know, it's remaining that way?
Hey Solo_Soprano22,
If I marry someone, and she changes after a while, what happens is that I am hopeful to see that it is in her growing in a closer walk with the Lord and with me. I'm also hopeful to see myself changing in the same way, and in being closer to her.
Body weight, IMHO, is not increased solely by more doughnuts and more TV. There's so much hype about body fat, and none about what is involved for a body to carry it around. I'm talking about a larger skeletal system, more muscles, larger muscles. If a body weighs 40, 50 pounds more than two months ago, that can't all be chalked up to extra calories being stashed away. A body has to be adjusting itself to carry that around in it too, right?
For a marriage partner to not appear to want there to be any change to his spouse- her weight, her hair style, her taste in cars, whatever... umm... somebody better tell Bubba to get a clue. Just don't think I'm going to let her eat her way into 'oblivion'. I'll certainly be talking to her about that.
If there's changes, and things aren't reversing back to how they were before? Again, I'd like to think she's taking care of herself at the same time. If the two of us arent' talking like we once were, and she's too much at the TV and the snacks, I'd be asking what's up with that.
OneJohn410
_____________________________
The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust Him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving. Psalm 28:7
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RE: When looks change... - 9/1/2008 12:22:45 PM
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solo_soprano22
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Well, the fact of the matter is, some people can exercise and eat right and still not lose weight. They can do all the right things, but not have a desired outcome. (Yes, that's the biologist in me speaking, and it's an observable thing if you want to observe it without having pre-conceived ideas about how everyone should be able to lose weight if they just "try to."  Physiology has never been that simple...and the body hasn't either. ) That's why I asked the question assuming that things won't change or cannot change. (Yes, I see *some* around here tend to think that if everyone tries hard enough they should be skinny... but really, there's much more to it than that [physiologically], and doing all the right things still may not matter, depending on the individual body-- men and women. I think there's a bit [a ton] of misunderstanding/lack of knowledge of how different people have different physiological and protein-based profiles to work with. Maybe Jane lost weight after her baby, but your wife can't because she's really just not in Jane's profile, for example.) I see people marry a skinny person.... when the person's older they gain weight and the other person doesn't want to be with them anymore. But... anything like that can change. They can have an accident-- a disease, etc. that changes them in a variety of ways. And what happens when you had this strong preference that isn't there anymore and can't be brought back?
ETA: I'm not saying it's okay to become slovenly, unkempt... I mean things you just really couldn't help or keep from changing...or change once they happen. :)
< Message edited by solo_soprano22 -- 9/1/2008 12:42:41 PM >
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RE: When looks change... - 9/1/2008 12:51:26 PM
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stamper_ben
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quote:
ORIGINAL: solo_soprano22
Well, the fact of the matter is, some people can exercise and eat right and still not lose weight. They can do all the right things, but not have a desired outcome. (Yes, that's the biologist in me speaking, and it's an observable thing if you want to observe it without having pre-conceived ideas about how everyone should be able to lose weight if they just "try to." Physiology has never been that simple...and the body hasn't either. ) That's why I asked the question assuming that things won't change or cannot change. (Yes, I see *some* around here tend to think that if everyone tries hard enough they should be skinny... but really, there's much more to it than that [physiologically], and doing all the right things still may not matter, depending on the individual body-- men and women. I think there's a bit [a ton] of misunderstanding/lack of knowledge of how different people have different physiological and protein-based profiles to work with. Maybe Jane lost weight after her baby, but your wife can't because she's really just not in Jane's profile, for example.) I see people marry a skinny person.... when the person's older they gain weight and the other person doesn't want to be with them anymore. But... anything like that can change. They can have an accident-- a disease, etc. that changes them in a variety of ways. And what happens when you had this strong preference that isn't there anymore and can't be brought back?
ETA: I'm not saying it's okay to become slovenly, unkempt... I mean things you just really couldn't help or keep from changing...or change once they happen. :)
Solo, thank you for making the point I have been trying to make in the other thread. You did it much better than I could.
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We will be known as His by the love we show one another.
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RE: When looks change... - 9/1/2008 2:31:26 PM
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alley_cat
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Honestly, I am more concerned that someday if I get married my future wife would have a drastic personality change moreso than a physical one. I am somewhat overweight myself, but still lead an active life and have lost some weight lately. As long as she is committed to staying healthy then I really dont care if she puts on some weight. If her weight doubles though, then I would say that there is probably something other than just physical that is happening and will want to get her help. I want to live a long and healthy life and want a lady to share it with.
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RE: When looks change... - 9/1/2008 5:34:56 PM
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OneJohn410
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If I researched it out, and ate exactly the right number of calories recommended to someone my height/weight/body size, every day of my life, and I exercised as suggested, and I didn't cheat on snacks between meals, didn't drink any adult beverages, didn't smoke, and generally lived an immaculate lifestyle, what does that do for me? Will I only exhibit healthy changes in appearance? I would walk around singing I am the very model of a modern major health freak. The compliments would be oh! your husband or wife look like an olympic athelete!
What's at issue here is how someone adapts to change. If there's no flexibility toward it, then that's really going to make the happy couple wish they'd thought about life 10, 15, 20 years later. The world is so 'freeze-frame' on the here and now, that everyone is so beautiful right at wedding time, it's as if everyone has finally arrived and things are going to be wonderful from that day forward. I don't endorse it, but even for people living together before marriage, things are going to change afterwards.
A mature couple might really consider what changes could happen and how they might react while they are engaged, prior to getting married.
Sorry if off the post. I view this as more what if everyone involved can't handle a change, and not what if one person changes and doesn't see a way back to how things were before.
OneJohn410
_____________________________
The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust Him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving. Psalm 28:7
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RE: When looks change... - 9/1/2008 8:26:06 PM
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solo_soprano22
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quote:
ORIGINAL: stamper_ben
quote:
ORIGINAL: solo_soprano22
Well, the fact of the matter is, some people can exercise and eat right and still not lose weight. They can do all the right things, but not have a desired outcome. (Yes, that's the biologist in me speaking, and it's an observable thing if you want to observe it without having pre-conceived ideas about how everyone should be able to lose weight if they just "try to." Physiology has never been that simple...and the body hasn't either. ) That's why I asked the question assuming that things won't change or cannot change. (Yes, I see *some* around here tend to think that if everyone tries hard enough they should be skinny... but really, there's much more to it than that [physiologically], and doing all the right things still may not matter, depending on the individual body-- men and women. I think there's a bit [a ton] of misunderstanding/lack of knowledge of how different people have different physiological and protein-based profiles to work with. Maybe Jane lost weight after her baby, but your wife can't because she's really just not in Jane's profile, for example.) I see people marry a skinny person.... when the person's older they gain weight and the other person doesn't want to be with them anymore. But... anything like that can change. They can have an accident-- a disease, etc. that changes them in a variety of ways. And what happens when you had this strong preference that isn't there anymore and can't be brought back?
ETA: I'm not saying it's okay to become slovenly, unkempt... I mean things you just really couldn't help or keep from changing...or change once they happen. :)
Solo, thank you for making the point I have been trying to make in the other thread. You did it much better than I could.
Thanks. :)
Unfortunately, some people will only see things the way they want to. And for some reason, I know many of the young male type who think that anyone can do anything to stay skinny til they die. But... with the "you can do anything to lose weight" people, I also hear a level of ignorance (as in a lack of knowledge; not stupidity). I didn't read the other thead before I read this one. I actually posted this because I watch Divorce Court quite a bit, and this is a common complaint in the "reasons why I divorced her" parts. Odd thing is, I've seen plent of people eat humble pie when THEY get into the "I can't seem to lose weight but I'm doing EVERYTHING right" boat....and that goes for women as well. I've seen them say they can always stay skinny by doing everything they're supposed to...come back later and they can't seem to lose anything despite the fact.
We're not all the same, and really... it'd be cool to get some of the less knowledgeable (but very vocal) folk to visit a lab that studies these things... Not like a sociological thing, but biological/chemical/biochemical. I don't study those things myself (I'm in neuroscience/neurobiology at the moment), but doctors/researchers love when people show an interest in knowing what's really going on, and they'll let you visit their labs because of that. I find people are too dismissive of things that matter sometimes, and I think that's the problem here. I may end up researching something having to do with weight later (maybe in genetics or metabolic pathology). It's interesting in itself because of the dismissal, in my mind. Doctors and PhDs know that some people can't lose weight even by doing all of the right things.....some of these very people were/are their patients. Although it has some physiological/pathological bases, I feel that there are other things we've not even hit on in science yet (we're exploring DNA however and have promising developments).
My point was, if you get bigger, you may not necessarily have a way to get smaller.
Then what happens when that fat that disgusts you and is unattractive to you is suddenly on your spouse, and there's no way to get rid of it?
(Not speaking to you specifically, Ben. -- just to anyone.)
There are other issues besides weight... She could become disfigured by some accident, a disease could ravage some part(s) of her body... But what would happen if all of a sudden something changed and you were no longer attracted to her physically?
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For God, For Learning, Forever.
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RE: When looks change... - 9/1/2008 8:39:17 PM
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DreadPirateRandy
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quote:
ORIGINAL: solo_soprano22
I know some men who I really think would leave, but what do you think YOU would do?
That would honestly be cruel.
When you make a martial commitment, you're vowing to be with that individual because you love them in their entirety. Not just this specific aspect and not the rest. For instance, a package is nice when it's decorated with ribbons and other colorful things, but once you unwrap the package, you're revealed the true gift that is inside.
A martial commitment isn't only limited to sex and physical attraction. I would be marrying the love of my life, spending the rest of our lives together because I am madly in love with all that she is; physically, spiritually, mentally, etc. So no, I wouldn't leave based on that aspect alone.
That said, I definitely view physical well-being as an incredibly important aspect of the intimate side of marriage. If my wife were to begin not taking care of herself, knowing that I appreciated and loved her for it, but regardless, just stops caring, the physical intimacy of our relationship would more than likely fade off into non-existence. It applies also to myself and if I were to stop caring, then we would also reach that point.
It goes both ways.
It's important to know she is willing to remain in control of her physical well-being in spite of eventual changes that come with life's occurrences. Just because we've been married for 30 years doesn't justify her letting go of herself "OK".
A lack of concern in yourself displays a lack of concern in many aspects, not limited to just physical.
quote:
ORIGINAL: solo_soprano22
I mean things you just really couldn't help or keep from changing...or change once they happen. :)
While I agree that you cannot prevent change. I do, however, believe you can prevent whether or not that change affects you in a positive or a negative manner. It's completely possible to adjust to circumstances with a positive physical outcome rather than a negative.
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The lunatic, the lover, and the poet, are of imagination all compact.
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RE: When looks change... - 9/1/2008 9:36:50 PM
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John_O
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Hey SS!
Excellent question. I've lived through this exact situation.
M weighed 125 when we met (she was slightly underweight for her frame)
She weighed 145 when we married and was downright hot!
After that she ballooned to as high as 230. She was 5'2" tall (including her hair poof!).
I loved her the same at 230 as I did at 145 but I'd be lying if I said I liked her at that weight. It was relatively easy for M to lose the weight but other health issues always seemed to arise when she tried.
She did drop 60 pounds when she got pregnant with the Girl (She went from 230 to 170 after delivery and was starting to look really good again)
Then of course she had her surgery to fix the seizures and the rest is unfortunate history. She went home to be with the Lord 3 years ago on this 20th.
I stayed with her through thick and thin (and there was much more thick than thin) and through good times and bad (And we had great times together but bad times all around us if you know what I mean).
Once you are married it is until death do you part. Whether you both stay in shape or one tries to beat the record for world's fattest human, you are married till one of you dies.
I would be remiss if I did not include the error that I made.
As a husband or wife, part of our responsibility is to look after the health of our partner. Carrying all that extra weight is just not healthy. When she started gaining I should have helped her then to keep it under control. But I failed to do that and by the time she got up there in numbers she was too fragile (due to other health concerns) to really correct the problem.
So, if your husband/wife says "We're getting a little chunky and we need to work out more" or something like that, take it as a sign of their love for you and work out with them. It's far easier to stay in shape than to get back in shape (I'm about 10 pounds away from my goal. Down 30 pounds already (that I gained during M's final illness)) Stay in shape. It's good for your health, good for your marriage, and good for your life.
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Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: When looks change... - 9/1/2008 9:50:32 PM
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solomonsprayer
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Weight, alone, would not make me leave my wife, but it might make me feel less physically attracted to her. I would still love her and try to lovingly encourage her to make changes.
I think most people would also naturally feel at least a little bit of loss of attraction. It'd be the same with dealing with aging and getting wrinkles, sun spots, drooping faces, etc. ...It happens and has to be accepted. Only the most superficial person would begrudge their spouse for it happening and either love them less or at worst leave them. ....The good news, though, is that with weight, it's something that is changeable. It's not a permanent. So with that in mind, it really even shouldn't be an issue. ....
As long as there is some open, loving, and trusting communication, I think it would be worked out fine. I would let my wife know about how I felt and encourage and expect her to resume an ideal weight.
Love would never be an issue. Physical attraction may be, but even then it wouldn't be a big issue. And best of all, it'd be an issue completely fixable, in regards to weight.
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RE: When looks change... - 9/1/2008 9:55:12 PM
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solo_soprano22
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quote:
ORIGINAL: solomonsprayer
Weight, alone, would not make me leave my wife, but it might make me feel less physically attracted to her. I would still love her and try to lovingly encourage her to make changes.
I think most people would also naturally feel at least a little bit of loss of attraction. It'd be the same with dealing with aging and getting wrinkles, sun spots, drooping faces, etc. ...It happens and has to be accepted. Only the most superficial person would begrudge their spouse for it happening and either love them less or at worst leave them. ....The good news, though, is that with weight, it's something that is changeable. It's not a permanent. So with that in mind, it really even shouldn't be an issue. ....
As long as there is some open, loving, and trusting communication, I think it would be worked out fine. I would let my wife know about how I felt and encourage and expect her to resume an ideal weight.
Love would never be an issue. Physical attraction may be, but even then it wouldn't be a big issue. And best of all, it'd be an issue completely fixable, in regards to weight.
See some of the scenarios I mentioned above; it's not always changeable. :) But... if you're one of the ones who holds that's it's 100% changeable in all people, what would happen if your wife wasn't able to change hers despite the fact and she was doing all that was humanly possible?
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RE: When looks change... - 9/2/2008 10:17:45 AM
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NoShow
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I wouldn't leave someone due to weight gain.
And to say that someone can always do something about weight gain is myopic. Talk to a handful of people that have been put on Prednisone.
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RE: When looks change... - 9/2/2008 11:37:42 AM
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Child4Jesus
Posts: 459
Joined: 5/24/2005
From: Long Island, Nassau, Elmont, NY
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quote:
ORIGINAL: solo_soprano22
Well, the fact of the matter is, some people can exercise and eat right and still not lose weight. They can do all the right things, but not have a desired outcome. (Yes, that's the biologist in me speaking, and it's an observable thing if you want to observe it without having pre-conceived ideas about how everyone should be able to lose weight if they just "try to." Physiology has never been that simple...and the body hasn't either. ) That's why I asked the question assuming that things won't change or cannot change. (Yes, I see *some* around here tend to think that if everyone tries hard enough they should be skinny... but really, there's much more to it than that [physiologically], and doing all the right things still may not matter, depending on the individual body-- men and women. I think there's a bit [a ton] of misunderstanding/lack of knowledge of how different people have different physiological and protein-based profiles to work with. Maybe Jane lost weight after her baby, but your wife can't because she's really just not in Jane's profile, for example.) I see people marry a skinny person.... when the person's older they gain weight and the other person doesn't want to be with them anymore. But... anything like that can change. They can have an accident-- a disease, etc. that changes them in a variety of ways. And what happens when you had this strong preference that isn't there anymore and can't be brought back?
ETA: I'm not saying it's okay to become slovenly, unkempt... I mean things you just really couldn't help or keep from changing...or change once they happen. :)
With all you have said above, the individual that is in this situation should find what works for them. Obviously no two people are going to be exactly the same and not have the same outcome. I'm not sure anyone around hear is saying that everyone should be skinny, however no one should be obese unless there is some kind of health issue. There is no reason for someone to go from 120 to 500 lbs not relating to some change that can't be helped.
Also I don't think a person man or woman can be faulted for being less attracted.
_____________________________
In Christ,
Richad
The greatest heresy to American Christianity is that if you ask Jesus to come into your heart, he definitely will.
Paul Washer
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RE: When looks change... - 9/2/2008 1:32:17 PM
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DreadPirateRandy
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Child4Jesus
Also I don't think a person man or woman can be faulted for being less attracted.
If one neglects taking care of themselves, then no one except that individual is to blame.
_____________________________
The lunatic, the lover, and the poet, are of imagination all compact.
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RE: When looks change... - 9/2/2008 4:02:03 PM
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Coffee_Drinker
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We should take care of our bodies for our spouse. God gave us these bodies and it is our responsibility to take care of them - at least do the best you can. I'm in my 50's now - I get a lot more aches and pains than I used to. I sit behind a desk eight hours a day and I read a whole lot of stuff every day. Consequently, I get little exercise at work. But, I still try to take care of myself by going for walks and doing weird Yoga type exercises and stretches.
Bottom line... I do this for two reasons...
1. I feel better
2. My wife feels better
If you say you can't find the time then you're not really trying. 10-15 minutes a day just for yourself isn't a whole lot of time to get your blood flowing. If you have a spouse that complains then tell them you are doing it for them too.
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Jesus Christ is the Son of God.
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RE: When looks change... - 9/2/2008 5:27:27 PM
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Child4Jesus
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Child4Jesus
Also I don't think a person man or woman can be faulted for being less attracted.
quote:
ORIGINAL: DreadPirateRandy
If one neglects taking care of themselves, then no one except that individual is to blame.
Not sure if you misunderstood me or you are adding to it. What I mean is you call blame the one spouse if they become less attracted to his/her mate who has gone from slim/skinny to obese for reasons not related to some health issue.
_____________________________
In Christ,
Richad
The greatest heresy to American Christianity is that if you ask Jesus to come into your heart, he definitely will.
Paul Washer
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RE: When looks change... - 9/6/2008 5:01:46 PM
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solo_soprano22
Posts: 2476
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I think people are misunderstanding. Not everyone can control their weight, even if they do all they can. I'm asking what you'd feel if you never liked weight like that, but now your spouse CANNOT lose it. I'm not working on the premise that weight can always be lost. It can't. They exercise more than enough; they always eat right, but there are other factors working against them that keeps the weight on. I understand that some men don't believe that this can happen biologically...and if that's true, this isn't the thread for ya. I'm not arguing for people to become inactive and have unhealthy eating habits. The truth is, you can do everything right and be overweight. I'm not suggesting this is true; I'm stating it is. The question for this thread is, if the spouse becomes overweight in a way that you're not attracted, or something else happens that's not changeable, then what?
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For God, For Learning, Forever.
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RE: When looks change... - 9/9/2008 10:15:45 AM
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Child4Jesus
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Then you just need to live with it. BTW what are these other factors?
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In Christ,
Richad
The greatest heresy to American Christianity is that if you ask Jesus to come into your heart, he definitely will.
Paul Washer
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RE: When looks change... - 9/9/2008 4:46:36 PM
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iwillfearnoevil
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Child4Jesus
Then you just need to live with it. BTW what are these other factors?
yeah there's an awful lot of hypotheticals here ...
edit: i don't think you're going to get many responses especially on a Christian messageboard saying they'd divorce an overweight spouse who medically coudln't lose weight and there were no other problems or situations in the marriage.
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Photoblogging My Life
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RE: When looks change... - 9/9/2008 5:20:26 PM
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DreadPirateRandy
Posts: 7735
Joined: 6/5/2006
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Medical cases that people "just can't control their weight" doesn't hold up when you're looking at a statistic of 65% overweight Americans. I know someone who claims they physically cannot lose weight. They blame numerous reasons. Yet, they never exercise nor try to eat properly. I'm sure they'd like to blame medical reasons, but that isn't the case. It isn't the case for the lot of people. Unwillingness and lack of self concern, however, is.
I'll play along anyways. If my spouse were to become obese, our physical intimacy would die completely. I find excessive fat repulsive, even on myself. I cannot force myself to be attracted to it. That doesn't mean I would stop loving her, but in that aspect of our life, it would become non-existent.
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The lunatic, the lover, and the poet, are of imagination all compact.
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RE: When looks change... - 9/9/2008 9:20:13 PM
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buckifn
Posts: 1781
Joined: 5/23/2006
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I was thinking about this and realize it would be a struggle for me to be attracted to someone who suddenly LOST 60 or 70 pds more than someone who gained. Size is only 1 of many factors in how attracted we may or may not be based on outward appearance..but it is a factor..some prefer more weight, ...some less...
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RE: When looks change... - 9/10/2008 1:28:11 AM
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OneJohn410
Posts: 1231
Joined: 6/1/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: solo_soprano22
I think people are misunderstanding. Not everyone can control their weight, even if they do all they can. I'm asking what you'd feel if you never liked weight like that, but now your spouse CANNOT lose it. I'm not working on the premise that weight can always be lost. It can't. They exercise more than enough; they always eat right, but there are other factors working against them that keeps the weight on. I understand that some men don't believe that this can happen biologically...and if that's true, this isn't the thread for ya. I'm not arguing for people to become inactive and have unhealthy eating habits. The truth is, you can do everything right and be overweight. I'm not suggesting this is true; I'm stating it is. The question for this thread is, if the spouse becomes overweight in a way that you're not attracted, or something else happens that's not changeable, then what?
Oh! I get it now. You mean all of a sudden science no longer has all the answers! All the studying, research, it's all useless when it comes to helping my beloved wife return to her beautiful self before the unexplainable happened! What would I do then??? Continue to love someone and maintain a marriage commitment, or do the Divorce Court opt out. I'm so sorry, I've made my responses too confusing. You are looking for short answers.
If the doorframes become too narrow, I'm getting my sledgehammer. Sledgehammer is my answer.
OneJohn410
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The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust Him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving. Psalm 28:7
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RE: When looks change... - 9/10/2008 3:23:37 PM
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stamper_ben
Posts: 10965
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Lone Star State
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So, while y'all are busy after work each day at the gym toning up your bodies to stay in that same shape you had when you were 19 and the lovely but rapidly gaining weight Mrs. is at home slaving away over the stove making that lowfat meal you demand for the two of you, and also making sure the kids have their homework done while keeping the house and yard as pristine as can be, are you going to harangue her about how she needs to be paying attention to her figure or you will lose interest in having a physical relationship with her?
My wife would slap me outta the house. Rightfully so.
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We will be known as His by the love we show one another.
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RE: When looks change... - 9/10/2008 3:50:05 PM
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DreadPirateRandy
Posts: 7735
Joined: 6/5/2006
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Why does the scenario always come to that of the woman being the victim? I can't honestly believe that the wife wouldn't feel the same way.
"Slaving" and "demand" are pathetic little guilt trips that I have no interest in touching.
As a husband, it is your responsibility to watch over your wife in all aspects. Men aren't supposed to be the spiritual leader and provider and that's it. If you truly love your wife as your own body, you're going to care for her in that specific area as well.
I hate how people invent situations to deem obesity as a healthy form of living.
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The lunatic, the lover, and the poet, are of imagination all compact.
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