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WWJD... or how to save a wedding... - 9/17/2008 12:41:57 PM
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pstrdebi
Posts: 739
Joined: 4/28/2008
From: So. Oregon, by way of So. Cal.
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Soooo... I've been away at our daughters wedding...
(here's the link if anyone is interested.... http://meganandrobbieswedding.shutterfly.com/)
Everything was going along as planned... just beautiful...
THEN... a young lady who came as some-one's date decided to sneak off, and get uderly and completely wasted to the point of throwing up and passing out all over my oldest daughters brand new venetian bathroom.
This girl lived over 3 hours away and we had no idea who to call. She needed to leave the wedding before anything else happened. Oh... and we were informed that she was only 17.
What would YOU have done? What would Jesus have done???
We had to make some fast decisions due to several extenuating circumstances. Let's hear how you would have handled it.
_____________________________
"For in Him we live and move and have our being..." Acts 17:28a
http://www.therockfellowship.org
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RE: WWJD... or how to save a wedding... - 9/17/2008 12:56:17 PM
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mvic
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Hi,
Congratulations on your daughter's wedding. Beautiful photos.
Sorry to hear about the young girl of 17. Jesus, (and perhaps myself too - although I'm told I'm a little heartless at times), would have taken pity of the young girl. I know she may have ruined the bathroom. I'm really sorry about that. But let's think of the poor girl. She'll be mortified when she sobers up. Probably her relationship with her date is in tatters too. She'll never forgive herself.
In your place, I would have made sure that she is looked after privately to spare her blushes from the other guests.
This may be little compensation to you right now - but I'll say two prayers:
One for this young lady.
And one for your daughter so that she may have a long and very happy marriage.
Oh ... and a prayer for you too !!!
God bless.
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MEI VITA INDICO CHRISTUS
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RE: WWJD... or how to save a wedding... - 9/17/2008 1:29:09 PM
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LCannon
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From: Lebanon, OR
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What would I have done? I would have alerted her date and requested they leave and cleaned up the mess. Things happen, some victories(best wishing to the couple); some disappointments but that's life.
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"I pray that You dispose of my health, my sickness,
my life and my death for Your Glory."(Blaise Pascal)
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RE: WWJD... or how to save a wedding... - 9/17/2008 1:40:15 PM
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Little_1
Posts: 1444
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I've had a look at some of the photos and they are lovely. I recognise the little flower girl in the photo from your avatar (I think)???
Re: the 17 year old and what would I do? I would try and sober her up (discreetly) and take her home to her parents. Her parents have a right to know that their child has broken the law and it is their responsibility to help her realise that this is not acceptable (nor safe). Next time she gets drunk, there may not be someone responsible with her who can help her and she could end up being taken advantage of (if you know what I mean) or worse! She is putting herself at risk of all sorts of dangers and informing her parents is not cliping on her but hopefully going to help her. She needs to be advised of the dangers and hopefully her parents will do such. If you get the impression from what you find out that they are not loving parents - I would give her a pep talk myself regarding dangers.
Oops! Just realised that it was your daughter's wedding. I would not have missed my daughter's wedding! Next step in this case, I would have ensured she was safe with someone realiable (hopefully her date) to help her sober up; also that she was taken home by her date (if that was suitable, i.e. if he is reliable and if not somone who is who doesn't mind doing a favour); also I would contact her parents at the earliest convenience to let them know what happened and your concern for her re: dangers.
< Message edited by Little_1 -- 9/17/2008 1:58:10 PM >
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RE: WWJD... or how to save a wedding... - 9/17/2008 1:41:18 PM
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rofaith
Posts: 57
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From: rofaith, a believer
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PstrDebi.... congrats on your daughter's wedding... Sounds like the wedding was preserved despite the hardship of this waylaid young one. So, I would have called her parents who are God's authority over her. In the meantime, I would have have gotten her date, woke her up off the floor with some cold water... sobered her up for the moment. After which I would have told her to clean up the bathroom and whatever else she made a mess of.
Follow up and with the parents support, see if she is willing to attend a Christ centered program like Celebrate Recovery.... have lotsa young men and women like her in the program @ Saddleback and it's making a difference for some of them.
Chris
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RE: WWJD... or how to save a wedding... - 9/17/2008 1:44:56 PM
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raivyne
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I would have tried to find out if she had parents that cared about her and if so I would have called them. If not I would have assessed to the best of my ability her date and his character (also sobriety) before deciding whether she should leave with him or not (most likely not based on the little info I have here). I would have given her somewhere to sleep if her date were "unsuitable" to take her home. The next day I would have done my best to care for her in an earnest manner by not telling her what she wants to hear... but what she should hear (needs to hear). Perhaps I would have shared some of my life story with her so that she would understand i know where she's at. Hopefully I would have the correct words for her.
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RE: WWJD... or how to save a wedding... - 9/17/2008 9:33:17 PM
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x_SoliDeoGloria_x
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If she was really almost comatose, I would have called an ambulance. People can die from alcohol poisoning, and if a responsible adult knew that the person was extremely intoxicated but didn't call an ambulance, and the person died, there could be serious legal issues. I would think that there could also be serious legal issues for whomever provided the alcohol, since she was underage.
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RE: WWJD... or how to save a wedding... - 9/17/2008 10:19:36 PM
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Walker311
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Hogtied her and put her in a back room with a baby sitter until after the wedding. Got some pictures before she passed out and before the hogtie to show the parents and if they didn't seem to care then the police would.
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RE: WWJD... or how to save a wedding... - 9/17/2008 10:42:25 PM
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delete123
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quote:
ORIGINAL: x_SoliDeoGloria_x
If she was really almost comatose, I would have called an ambulance. People can die from alcohol poisoning, and if a responsible adult knew that the person was extremely intoxicated but didn't call an ambulance, and the person died, there could be serious legal issues. I would think that there could also be serious legal issues for whomever provided the alcohol, since she was underage.
This is on the same page as I was thinking. I would have had her brought to the e.r and also asked that she be evaluated by the psychiatric doctor. I would have also requested that the person who brought her sit by her side until the whole proccess was done.
If he thought enough to bring her than this extra mile should not hurt him and technically he is responsible for her by bringing her.
She is obviously a hurting soul and needs Jesus and many prayers.
Hope all turned out well...... I checked out the pics and they were Awesome, congrats to you and the newlyweds.
CRH
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RE: WWJD... or how to save a wedding... - 9/17/2008 10:50:40 PM
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sisrev
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From: The South, ya'll
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I agree with the posters above--it she was almost comatose she needed medical intervention. I think I would have contacted the police to see if they could track down some of her family, and if necessary send/take her to the hospital until someone responsible arrived to take charge of her. Her date should have been pulled to the side and made to take some responsibility, as well.
Question--at that small of a wedding, in someone's home, how could she "sneak off" and get that drunk without someone noticing? Why was alcohol served to a minor?
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RE: WWJD... or how to save a wedding... - 9/17/2008 11:53:56 PM
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Liveloved
Posts: 1821
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You said she came as someone's date---so this person must have been an invited guest. I would have had the family who knows this person deal with the situation (in otherwords, if her date's name was on your invite list, it's up to you). She is her date's responsibility. I would have the date spoken to and informed that she is in need of care and needs to be cared for by him and that she is in no condition to be a part of a public event and needs to leave.
Now I'll read what others have said. 
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RE: WWJD... or how to save a wedding... - 9/18/2008 11:45:29 AM
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pstrdebi
Posts: 739
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From: So. Oregon, by way of So. Cal.
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quote:
ORIGINAL: sisrev
I agree with the posters above--it she was almost comatose she needed medical intervention. I think I would have contacted the police to see if they could track down some of her family, and if necessary send/take her to the hospital until someone responsible arrived to take charge of her. Her date should have been pulled to the side and made to take some responsibility, as well.
Question--at that small of a wedding, in someone's home, how could she "sneak off" and get that drunk without someone noticing? Why was alcohol served to a minor?
Hi Sis rev...
Alcohol wasn't served to a minor. They live on a normal street... and no-one can stop people from coming and going. I believe she was taking something along with her alcohol. I do not know if they had something in their car or not... not to mention there was a liquor store just 2 blocks away.
_____________________________
"For in Him we live and move and have our being..." Acts 17:28a
http://www.therockfellowship.org
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RE: WWJD... or how to save a wedding... - 9/18/2008 2:32:17 PM
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rcjames
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From: Oklahoma
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The invited guest "Date" should be beat with a whip for permitting his "Date" to get in this state.
That what Jesus did to folks that had no respect.
Thanks
RC
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Read the first chapter of my latest book here;
http://www.deliveranceofsara.com
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RE: WWJD... or how to save a wedding... - 9/18/2008 11:39:29 PM
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sisrev
Posts: 886
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From: The South, ya'll
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quote:
ORIGINAL: pstrdebi
Hi Sis rev...
Alcohol wasn't served to a minor. They live on a normal street... and no-one can stop people from coming and going. I believe she was taking something along with her alcohol. I do not know if they had something in their car or not... not to mention there was a liquor store just 2 blocks away.
I guess I don't understand the situation--there was "going & coming" during the wedding? It was apparently at a private residence---why couldn't anyone stop them from coming & going? No has the free range of another person's house. I'm confused.
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My new blog, A Virtuous Woman
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RE: WWJD... or how to save a wedding... - 9/19/2008 10:15:31 AM
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pstrdebi
Posts: 739
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From: So. Oregon, by way of So. Cal.
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quote:
ORIGINAL: sisrev
I guess I don't understand the situation--there was "going & coming" during the wedding? It was apparently at a private residence---why couldn't anyone stop them from coming & going? No has the free range of another person's house. I'm confused.
It was at a home. You can't really stop people if they want to go to the store.
And aside from that... our focus was not on the guest, but on my daughter. We did not know anything of this girl, nor that she would act the fool... and we had not invited her.
_____________________________
"For in Him we live and move and have our being..." Acts 17:28a
http://www.therockfellowship.org
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RE: WWJD... or how to save a wedding... - 9/19/2008 10:51:23 PM
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small_creation
Posts: 336
Joined: 10/30/2007
From: midwest
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quote:
ORIGINAL: pstrdebi
We had to make some fast decisions due to several extenuating circumstances. Let's hear how you would have handled it.
So let's hear how you handled it.
j
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RE: WWJD... or how to save a wedding... - 9/20/2008 9:40:14 AM
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rcjames
Posts: 5582
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From: Oklahoma
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quote:
ORIGINAL: pstrdebi
It was at a home. You can't really stop people if they want to go to the store.
And aside from that... our focus was not on the guest, but on my daughter. We did not know anything of this girl, nor that she would act the fool... and we had not invited her.
I just really think there should be some focus on the invited guest what had a date with the girl that got soused.
He was invited, it was his responsibility to watch over anyone he brought and evidently he did not.
Getting that drunk is not an instantanious thing, so the invited guy knew what was going on.
And there is always the possibility (if he was mixing her drinks) that he knew she was going to get drunk and the girl did not.
Thanks
RC
_____________________________
Just a country Preacher's humble opinion
Read the first chapter of my latest book here;
http://www.deliveranceofsara.com
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the girl's date and put it upon his shoulders to babysit her throughout the event. Yes, it would have been appropriate to contact her parents, but since you had no idea who they were, the date was the closest person responsible. 
