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Unevenly Yolked - 10/11/2008 6:13:47 AM
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Pmc1709
Posts: 3
Joined: 10/11/2008
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My husband is a really good man and I fell in love with him while I was not on track in my Walk with God. I married him knowing he was and is an active member of the Self Realisation Fellowship (Eastern mystical based group that believes Christ is a "consiousness" of oneself meditation and yoga techniques are a huge part of this. During our marriage we have agreed to differ on many "spiritual" things and it is largely down to his support that I have got back on track and joined a wonderful church and feel closer to God than I did for years. I know I am unevely yolked and now we have children I understand more of why the Bible teaches us not to be this way- yet I feel I it is too late. Unless my husband becomes a Christian (I pray constantly) I will be in a "sinful" marriage?? I am finding it hard to move on in Christ feeling that my marriage is wrong. Surely at this stage it would be wrong to divorce- we are a strong loving family and he is happy for the kids to come to church with me and actually encourages their spiritual growth. He believes we should focus on the similarities of our faith not the differences (which are pretty fundamental in my mind). Can anyone offer me advice or is there anyone in a similar situation?
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RE: Unevenly Yolked - 10/11/2008 6:33:13 AM
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manda59
Posts: 5986
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
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There is no way that you could or should divorce your husband for this.
Being unequally yoked is not a Biblical reason for separation or divorce - *unless* it is the unsaved one who wants to leave.
Your marriage is not "sinful", and in fact your husband may be won over for the Lord by your Christlike example to him. Just keep praying, keep being encouraged in Christ, and trust God to work through you (and through your children) in your witness to your husband.
From 1 Corinthians 7:
"1Co 7:10 To married people I give this command (not really I, but the Lord): A wife must not leave her husband.
1Co 7:11 But if she does leave him, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. Likewise, a husband must not abandon his wife.
1Co 7:12 I (not the Lord) say to the rest of you: If a brother has a wife who is an unbeliever and she is willing to live with him, he must not abandon her.
1Co 7:13 And if a woman has a husband who is an unbeliever and he is willing to live with her, she must not abandon him.
1Co 7:14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified because of her husband. Otherwise, your children would be unclean, but now they are holy.
1Co 7:15 But if the unbelieving partner leaves, let him go. In such cases the brother or sister is not bound; God has called you to live in peace.
1Co 7:16 Wife, how do you know whether you will save your husband? Husband, how do you know whether you will save your wife?
1Co 7:17 Nevertheless, everyone should live the life that the Lord gave him and to which God called him. This is my rule in all the churches. "
_____________________________
"Once again....drum roll please! Manda is right"
doinkdom, October 2008
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RE: Unevenly Yolked - 10/11/2008 10:49:24 AM
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delete123
Posts: 936
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I agree with Manda
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RE: Unevenly Yolked - 10/12/2008 1:17:14 PM
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Child4Jesus
Posts: 458
Joined: 5/24/2005
From: Long Island, Nassau, Elmont, NY
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Pmc1709
My husband is a really good man and I fell in love with him while I was not on track in my Walk with God. I married him knowing he was and is an active member of the Self Realization Fellowship (Eastern mystical based group that believes Christ is a "consciousness" of oneself meditation and yoga techniques are a huge part of this. During our marriage we have agreed to differ on many "spiritual" things and it is largely down to his support that I have got back on track and joined a wonderful church and feel closer to God than I did for years. I know I am unevely yolked and now we have children I understand more of why the Bible teaches us not to be this way- yet I feel I it is too late. Unless my husband becomes a Christian (I pray constantly) I will be in a "sinful" marriage?? I am finding it hard to move on in Christ feeling that my marriage is wrong. Surely at this stage it would be wrong to divorce- we are a strong loving family and he is happy for the kids to come to church with me and actually encourages their spiritual growth. He believes we should focus on the similarities of our faith not the differences (which are pretty fundamental in my mind). Can anyone offer me advice or is there anyone in a similar situation?
1. Divorce is not the answer like you have said.
2. Focusing on the similarities is definitely not the answer. Are you saying the similarities are fundamental?
3. You have to keep on shining in your marriage. Walk with the Lord and win him over.
I must say though that what he is into is NOT Christianity. Different Christ. The christ he knows is not the Christ of the Bible. No matter how similar the fundamentals may be they are NOT the same.
_____________________________
In Christ,
Richad
The greatest heresy to American Christianity is that if you ask Jesus to come into your heart, he definitely will.
Paul Washer
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RE: Unevenly Yolked - 10/13/2008 2:08:26 PM
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carl54
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Once you have entered an "unequally yolked" marriage you simply have to make the best of it in terms of your different beliefs. The good thing in your situation is that your husband is allowing you to practice your faith and he has given you the liberty to involve the kids in your faith. He sounds like a good man, given your differences. I think you should pray for your husband's salvation. At the same time, you should concentrate on building your Christian faith and that of your kids. Again, it is a blessing that your husband will not stand in the way of this.
_____________________________
Walk in the Sirit and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. Gal 5:16
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RE: Unevenly Yolked - 10/13/2008 4:00:32 PM
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DuckTalk
Posts: 206
Joined: 9/16/2008
From: A Duck Hole in Tennessee
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Pmc1709
My husband is a really good man........ THAT is more than many women can say who are married to Christian men!
quote:
ORIGINAL: Pmc1709
.... and I fell in love with him while I was not on track in my Walk with God. I married him knowing he was and is an active member of the Self Realisation Fellowship (Eastern mystical based group that believes Christ is a "consiousness" of oneself meditation and yoga techniques are a huge part of this. So, have you now fallen "out of love" with him? You say that you were "not on track in your walk with God", so evidently you were a believer. If you leave him now, I would think that you will be quilty of having led him falsely. If your "walk" is truly on track, you would know that divorcing him is wrong. Read 1 Peter 3:1....."if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives....."
Are you sure that it is your "walk" or could it just be your "religion"? Or perhaps that Christian men are more appealing? Or something even completely different that has little to do with Christianity?
quote:
ORIGINAL: Pmc1709During our marriage we have agreed to differ on many "spiritual" things and it is largely down to his support that I have got back on track and joined a wonderful church and feel closer to God than I did for years. I know I am unevely yolked and now we have children I understand more of why the Bible teaches us not to be this way- yet I feel I it is too late. Unless my husband becomes a Christian (I pray constantly) I will be in a "sinful" marriage?? I am finding it hard to move on in Christ feeling that my marriage is wrong. Wrong, wrong, WRONG!
quote:
ORIGINAL: Pmc1709 Surely at this stage it would be wrong to divorce- we are a strong loving family and he is happy for the kids to come to church with me and actually encourages their spiritual growth. Right, right, RIGHT!
quote:
ORIGINAL: Pmc1709 He believes we should focus on the similarities of our faith not the differences (which are pretty fundamental in my mind). Can anyone offer me advice or is there anyone in a similar situation?
My mother-in-law prayed faithfully for 47 years. Yes, you read correctly, FORTY -SEVEN YEARS solid, for her parents salvation & when her mother was 72, she accepted Jesus. Do you think she should have abandoned her mother 40 years prior? What's the difference?
Heaven forbid! Sounds to me like you have an upstanding man that you need to stand by. Be the Christ-like example that your husband needs, pray unceasingly for him, but do not try to force religion or beliefs on him. Love him (if you do) with righteousness, not with head garbage.
_____________________________
Sufferin' sassafrass. The nerve of some people, profitting from other people's miseries.
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RE: Unevenly Yolked - 10/14/2008 1:39:04 AM
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Godsgirrl
Posts: 40
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I for one can tell you that there is hope! I will admit that my hubby and I are going through some trying times right now, yet he is now finally a believer at least.
I prayed for the first six years of our marriage that my husband would come to know Christ. He finally accepted Christ a few years back. He is still having some issues with completely handing his life over to Christ (I assume out of stubborness or bad habits), but he is a new person.
Keep praying and buy the book "The Power of a Praying Wife" by Stormy O'Martian.
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RE: Unevenly Yolked - 10/14/2008 7:04:07 AM
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csl7037
Posts: 1591
Joined: 3/24/2008
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You've gotten great advice here. You're not in a "sinful" or inferior marriage doomed to a life of misery. You must control thoughts of "what if" or condemnation from the enemy that would only confuse and distract you.
My mother was married to an unbeliever for about 20 years. That certainly wasn't easy, but they had a very happy marriage.
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RE: Unevenly Yolked - 10/23/2008 6:26:59 AM
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Pmc1709
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Joined: 10/11/2008
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Thank you to you all for your advice/comments and encouragement. I really love my hubby and pray he will come to the Lord in God's time. I just get discouraged sometimes so it is good to get some sound advice from you. My church is aware of the situation and always welcome hubby whenever he comes along- so it is all very positive- I guess the Enemy can get in and play with my head (if I allow it). I am aware that SRF is totally different to Christianity and it was the differences that I was referring to as fundamental- not the "similarities"-Hubby likes to compare and give his interepretation to the Bible (based on Yogananda's teachings)- this is something I often feel uncomfortable with as it makes me want to argue- when I know I should just talk and be calm. You have been a tremendous help though by just getting me to be more rational about my marriage (10 years last month). I know I am not alone in praying for an unsaved spouse.
Thanks guys.
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RE: Unevenly Yolked - 10/23/2008 1:29:55 PM
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deermousie
Posts: 1849
Joined: 9/26/2007
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You've gotten good advice here, Pmc. Stay with the guy, knowing he is sanctified and your kids are holy because you are there. Live before him in a quiet and godly way and pray like crazy for his salvation, which I'm sure you're already doing.
But when you do good and suffer, if you take it patiently, this is commendable before God. 21 For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us[g] an example, that you should follow His steps:
22 “ Who committed no sin,
Nor was deceit found in His mouth”;
23 who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously; 24 who Himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, having died to sins, might live for righteousness—by whose stripes you were healed. 25 For you were like sheep going astray, but have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.
Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. 3 Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— 4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror. 1 Pet. 2:20 - 1 Pet. 3:6
God bless you, dear heart. May God soon be merciful to your husband and open his understanding and cause him to become spiritually alive and responsive to God! I am praying today. (((Hugs)))
_____________________________
Want to know where a certain word or phrase in the Bible is found? www.biblegateway.com Yay!
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RE: Unevenly Yolked - 10/23/2008 2:14:30 PM
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Pmc1709
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Thank you so much "deermousie"- this is so heartwarming to hear and your words are a true encouragement. I thank God for his perfect plan which is revealed to us little by little as we trust Him. I have to just keep praying and keep trusting that the time will come that my family will one day be united in Christ.
Thank you most of all for your prayers. God bless you
Pmc
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