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To Eat or Not To Eat... - 7/18/2008 3:30:30 PM
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ChoirDJ
Posts: 473
Joined: 6/15/2006
From: So Cal
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Okay Women,
I am in a deep bind and I really really need your help (and your intuition) in making it back safely to work on Monday. You can be light-hearted in your response (as I am) and have fun with this one or you can be serious in your responses.
There's a woman at work that seems to have a growing interest in me but the feelings are definitely not mutual for a myriad of reasons. I try to keep most of our conversations cordial for the most part to not lead her on in any way. She's not a Christian but I get the sense she is looking for some answers so she tends to ask me a lot of questions along those lines. Her cubicle is fairly close to my office so she comes in on average 3-5 times a day to chat. She's a nice woman who prides herself on being a good cook but she's just a little bit on the odd side if you know what I mean.
Now here's the dilemma: It was not even noon and she's already been in my office about three times today. This last time she asked me if I "got it." Not understanding what she meant, I asked her "did I get what?" She responded the food? I said "what food"?...and "she said check your bottom drawer". So I opened my bottom drawer up and she made some beans in rice and stored in tupperware for me to "eat at home over the weekend". I kinda of sort of don't feel like I know this woman well enough to eat her cooking although I appreciate the thoughtful gesture.
So women, what does the survey say? Shall I eat to my heart's content or not? Am I being maybe a little too paranoid due to just recently recovering from a stomach virus I had a couple of days ago? Now I know for an absolute fact there's no pulling any punches with the women in this forum and you all will smell it from a mile away if there's any trouble. Assuming you all are probably thinking the situation seems a little odd and that I shouldn't partake of what could be my last meal, how do I honestly (telling the truth is sooo hard sometimes) explain where that delicious food went over the weekend?
_____________________________
"Sin will take you further than you intended to go, keep you there longer than you intended to stay, and cost you more than you intended to spend." Got it?
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RE: To Eat or Not To Eat... - 7/18/2008 3:36:26 PM
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ta_mosquito
Posts: 11444
Joined: 3/31/2005
From: from MN, now in Ontario :D
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Honestly, I think you should've refused it.
As to what to do now, I don't know.
_____________________________
Tricia
"There's a fine line between being open-minded and empty-headed." ~Michael Coren
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RE: To Eat or Not To Eat... - 7/18/2008 5:52:52 PM
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BugLady
Posts: 2505
Joined: 12/5/2005
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quote:
Honestly, I think you should've refused it.
I agree.
But since you're in it now. Be direct. Just as you explained yourself here. Tell her while you appreciate the thoughtful gesture, you don't understand what her intent was. It's made you uncomfortable, no? Tell her so. Perhaps ask if she does this sort of thing for others in the office or did she single you out for some reason. Get to the bottom of it, in other words.
_____________________________
False imprisonment is the unlawful violation of the personal liberty of another.
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RE: To Eat or Not To Eat... - 7/18/2008 7:25:52 PM
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BugLady
Posts: 2505
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You could also be on the look-out for someone hungry on your way home. You know, someone with a cardboard sign "Broke and hungry. Anything helps."
_____________________________
False imprisonment is the unlawful violation of the personal liberty of another.
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RE: To Eat or Not To Eat... - 7/18/2008 11:11:32 PM
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beachcooky
Posts: 893
Joined: 6/21/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: BugLady
You could also be on the look-out for someone hungry on your way home. You know, someone with a cardboard sign "Broke and hungry. Anything helps."
Or that too. When my mom isn't making something good for dinner, I go out with a sign that says exactly that. :p
_____________________________
www.myspace.com/xsweetheartforux
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RE: To Eat or Not To Eat... - 7/19/2008 12:34:14 AM
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ChoirDJ
Posts: 473
Joined: 6/15/2006
From: So Cal
Status: offline
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Thanks for all the responses. The more I thought about your comments and the context of the situation, I came to the conclusion that it was not as out of the ordinary as it seemed at first. Just a couple of days ago, another woman at my job found out I like Curry Chicken so she offered to bring me some and that's the type of atmosphere I work in. I admit I got a little weird on this one (we christians can do this sometimes) and I pushed the panic button a little too soon. I'm going to be honest with you all on this follow up. I swallowed the beans and rice and now I'm swallowing my pride to confess (lol). Although I'm not necessarily a fan of beans, I have to admit those were some of the best beans.
_____________________________
"Sin will take you further than you intended to go, keep you there longer than you intended to stay, and cost you more than you intended to spend." Got it?
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RE: To Eat or Not To Eat... - 7/19/2008 12:54:21 AM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 2097
Joined: 12/11/2007
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I'd say you were a tiny bit paranoid. Women often do things for men if they feel that the man is a good guy and it doesn't always mean that they are interested in the man romantically.
I often do things for my friends, male or female. If I know that someone wants to go to a football game, if I have tickets, I always offer them. If I know that someone isn't feeling well, or going through struggles, I'd make it a point to do something nice for them--take them to a movie, coffee, etc, just be there to talk. Also, I cook for people who appreciates my cooking. I always make those Asian spring rolls if anyone at work or at my kids day care even mentions them.
I think when someone does something nice to you, say thank you, and accept it. If it starts happening all too often, or if you're being singled out and you don't like it, then, that's when you need to have a talk to ensure that there's no misunderstanding. But always be polite and always be respectful.
_____________________________
The heavens declare the glory of God;
And the firmament shows His handiwork. Psalm 19: 1
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To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven. King Solomon
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RE: To Eat or Not To Eat... - 7/19/2008 4:22:49 PM
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BugLady
Posts: 2505
Joined: 12/5/2005
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quote:
Just a couple of days ago, another woman at my job found out I like Curry Chicken so she offered to bring me some and that's the type of atmosphere I work in.
Had you provided this ^^ tidbit of info in your initial post you would have gotten different responses, I'm sure.
Not sure I agree that "we christians do this sometimes", though. I still think it's strange she put the beans in your desk. I personally consider one's desk their personal space, and an invasion of privacy to have someone place something in it without their knowledge. But if you're okay with it that's all that matters.
_____________________________
False imprisonment is the unlawful violation of the personal liberty of another.
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RE: To Eat or Not To Eat... - 7/19/2008 5:21:14 PM
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ChoirDJ
Posts: 473
Joined: 6/15/2006
From: So Cal
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Regarding the personal space, I did feel a little uneasy about her putting them in my drawer because I don't always remember if there's something personal laying around or not. I was referring to myself as being the quirky one in the "we Christians" comment, not her because she admittedly isn't one...yet. She came out to church once and said our ministry was the first one where she didn't feel condemned from the pulpit. She said she stopped going to church a long time ago because she was tired of going to hear a message on "how bad she was" with little or no answers for change.
_____________________________
"Sin will take you further than you intended to go, keep you there longer than you intended to stay, and cost you more than you intended to spend." Got it?
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RE: To Eat or Not To Eat... - 7/19/2008 5:37:37 PM
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ebony101
Posts: 893
Joined: 4/1/2007
From: the big blue marble
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quote:
I still think it's strange she put the beans in your desk. I personally consider one's desk their personal space, and an invasion of privacy to have someone place something in it without their knowledge.
(Still being lightheated)
Yessss.(stroking chin with forefinger and thumb) Now that you mention it BugLady - it is strange that she put the beans in his desk. Now why would she do that? Why not rest it on top of your desk? Or even hand you the bowl in person? Hmmmm.
Ahhh! It seems to me that she was not giving you the opportunity to refuse the offering of the beans.
How long since you've consumed those beans ChoirDJ - an hour? Two hours? How are you feeling now?
_____________________________
'We're writing a gospel, a chapter each day,
By the things that we do & the words that we say.'
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RE: To Eat or Not To Eat... - 7/19/2008 7:29:34 PM
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ChoirDJ
Posts: 473
Joined: 6/15/2006
From: So Cal
Status: offline
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quote:
How long since you've consumed those beans ChoirDJ - an hour? Two hours? How are you feeling now?
It's been about 24 hours. I'm starting to see stars and feel light-headed (lol). I'm just kidding of course. She said she didn't want anybody else to know because she didn't bring enough for everybody else and didn't want them to get jealous.
_____________________________
"Sin will take you further than you intended to go, keep you there longer than you intended to stay, and cost you more than you intended to spend." Got it?
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RE: To Eat or Not To Eat... - 7/20/2008 12:21:42 AM
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Roberta_
Posts: 6867
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: East Bay Area
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I love to cook and have often made too much and taken it to work to share with my co-workers of both gender.
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RE: To Eat or Not To Eat... - 7/20/2008 12:24:14 AM
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beachcooky
Posts: 893
Joined: 6/21/2008
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I absolutely LOVE to cook & bake.
I wish I knew more recipes, but I'm still learning.
I love to make mexican lasagna!
_____________________________
www.myspace.com/xsweetheartforux
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RE: To Eat or Not To Eat... - 7/23/2008 12:16:33 AM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
Posts: 26122
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Here, but subject to change . . . stay tuned!
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: BugLady
quote:
Honestly, I think you should've refused it.
I agree.
But since you're in it now. Be direct. Just as you explained yourself here. Tell her while you appreciate the thoughtful gesture, you don't understand what her intent was. It's made you uncomfortable, no? Tell her so. Perhaps ask if she does this sort of thing for others in the office or did she single you out for some reason. Get to the bottom of it, in other words.
quote:
ORIGINAL: BugLady
quote:
Just a couple of days ago, another woman at my job found out I like Curry Chicken so she offered to bring me some and that's the type of atmosphere I work in.
Had you provided this ^^ tidbit of info in your initial post you would have gotten different responses, I'm sure.
Not sure I agree that "we christians do this sometimes", though. I still think it's strange she put the beans in your desk. I personally consider one's desk their personal space, and an invasion of privacy to have someone place something in it without their knowledge. But if you're okay with it that's all that matters.
Fiddle, Mac.
Would you please stop quoting me before I even have the chance to post it?! 
ChoirDJ, I very much agree with what Mac said in the above two quotes.
My initial question while I was reading your OP was why didn't she just bring you the food; why did she "hide" it?
And in your desk at that!
Violation of personal space and/or trying to be romantic about the food is what I see.
. . . Unless she's in some sort of competition - whether realized or not - with the woman who is bringing you curry . . . kinda the "chase for the thrill of it"
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RE: To Eat or Not To Eat... - 7/23/2008 12:23:58 AM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
Posts: 26122
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Here, but subject to change . . . stay tuned!
Status: offline
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LOL!
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RE: To Eat or Not To Eat... - 7/23/2008 12:50:49 AM
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ChoirDJ
Posts: 473
Joined: 6/15/2006
From: So Cal
Status: offline
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She got to work before I did and I just think she wanted to surprise me. I don't necessarily care so much for the "hiding it in my drawer" part but I think it was an innocent gesture.
_____________________________
"Sin will take you further than you intended to go, keep you there longer than you intended to stay, and cost you more than you intended to spend." Got it?
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RE: To Eat or Not To Eat... - 7/23/2008 12:59:46 AM
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BugLady
Posts: 2505
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline
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LOL!
_____________________________
False imprisonment is the unlawful violation of the personal liberty of another.
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RE: To Eat or Not To Eat... - 7/23/2008 11:03:33 AM
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ChoirDJ
Posts: 473
Joined: 6/15/2006
From: So Cal
Status: offline
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crankius...you got me busting stitches over that one .
_____________________________
"Sin will take you further than you intended to go, keep you there longer than you intended to stay, and cost you more than you intended to spend." Got it?
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RE: To Eat or Not To Eat... - 7/23/2008 2:19:35 PM
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ChoirDJ
Posts: 473
Joined: 6/15/2006
From: So Cal
Status: offline
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Sudden...I'll reiterate what I posted since making that initial post .
quote:
Thanks for all the responses. The more I thought about your comments and the context of the situation, I came to the conclusion that it was not as out of the ordinary as it seemed at first. Just a couple of days ago, another woman at my job found out I like Curry Chicken so she offered to bring me some and that's the type of atmosphere I work in. I admit I got a little weird on this one (we christians can do this sometimes) and I pushed the panic button a little too soon. I'm going to be honest with you all on this follow up. I swallowed the beans and rice and now I'm swallowing my pride to confess (lol). Although I'm not necessarily a fan of beans, I have to admit those were some of the best beans.
_____________________________
"Sin will take you further than you intended to go, keep you there longer than you intended to stay, and cost you more than you intended to spend." Got it?
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