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Time-Outs - 9/26/2008 7:48:01 AM
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Georgia-Peach
Posts: 1891
Joined: 6/2/2005
From: Georgia on my mind
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What age did you start doing time outs for your children? Hunter will be 21 months soon and I have not started, but would love an alternative to spanking. What are some tips on getting the child to sit there in time out? Please share your tips and advice with me so I can begin working on time outs with my son. Thanks in advance!
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Chelle
A Mother holds her child's hand for a moment, but holds their heart forever.
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RE: Time-Outs - 9/26/2008 8:20:31 AM
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Sideways
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Chelle, we've just started on this, and Nathan is 18 months. But at this age I don't expect him to understand much in the concept of time or sitting there for several minutes.
Since he sits at an adult chair now, the old booster seat is now his time out spot, and if I have to I'll strap him in for a minute, but the simple act of removing him from what he's doing, and sitting in him in the chair with a loud NO (whatever)! usually helps.
I'm gonna work on sitting for 2 minutes (without being strapped in), when he's a little older. At this age some folks put their kid into a playpen, crib or even bathtub I've heard, but I don't have anything like that on the main level, and it's the kitchen where he usually gets into the most trouble.
At a playdate recently he did a lot of pushing, way more then normal, so every time I saw it, I'd pull him away from his play, give a light rap to his hand, say NO PUSH!, then force him to sit beside me for a minute before he could return to play. He wasn't pushing hard, just enough to get the person to back off, but the entire play group was little girls, and they were not as aggressive or as strong as he was.
Often the pushes were over a toy, but not always, sometimes he just wanted that little girl out of his way. He needs to learn restraint, even though his pushes are rarely hard enough to actually knock a person down. It's very frustrating to know exactly what to do. 
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RE: Time-Outs - 9/26/2008 9:18:37 AM
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Room2Grow
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We use an adult chair and both girls started around 18 months- at first, I would stand nearby but with my back turned and make them get back in if they moved. Anna is 23.5 months now and we have had two hour long time out battles so far (she's just a little willful...) Our latest was two days ago- go to timeout. NO! (swat on behind and placed in TO) back down, swat, back in- this went on for 30 minutes, then she sat in time out but every time you asked if she was ready to get out, she would scream or say no, so she sat another 30 minutes- the bad news is...it can take that long. The good news is, it has been at least 3 months since we last went through this cycle, so the "pain" is worth it- it has long lasting effects. I would say that 80-90% of the time, if I tell her to go to time out, she starts crying and runs to the time out chair and is quick to want to make up. I only make her stay there 1-2 minutes depending on how severe the offense was.
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Jennifer
Jesus knows me, this I love.
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RE: Time-Outs - 9/26/2008 12:16:02 PM
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Mrs.X
Posts: 2926
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: Newberg, OR
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Chelle, what kind of things are you wanting to send Hunter to time-out for? For whining and tantruming?
I don't really remember Timmy get into "trouble" per se (except throwing stuff out of anger), but he did a lot whining and tantrums when he didn't get his way. I send him to his room, and when he's done whining he comes out. I didn't have to make him stay in there because I just remind him that we don't whine or tantrum in the living room/kitchen, etc. I don't do the time limit thing, when he's done, he can come out.
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-Stina
From Sweet Grass to the Packin' House
A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. -Proverbs 15:1
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RE: Time-Outs - 9/26/2008 12:21:10 PM
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paulsbride
Posts: 1903
Joined: 5/19/2005
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Since we started time outs so young with Judah (15 months maybe? I can't remember) I would sit with him at the beginning. I sat far enough away from him that he could not touch me and I wouldn't let him talk to me. I would only talk to him if he tried to leave. But I always stayed with him.
Now he doesn't have a problem going to the corner and, for the most part, staying put. But it wasn't easy to get to this stage.
He made me laugh today - he started whining about something and I said "Judah, if you don't stop whining right now you are going to go stand in the corner." He went and stood in the corner!! And then I went over to him to explain that I hadn't been sending him to the corner, just telling him what would happen if he didn't stop right away, but before I could say anything he wrapped his arms around my neck, which is his way of saying sorry! It was so cute and funny 
I also wanted to mention that we pray with him about the behavior issue - at the end of time outs or sometimes just in place of time outs. He doesn't get what it is, but I want him to grow up knowing he can and should turn to God about everything.
And I totally agree with Manda about being consistent. Find what works for your family and follow through completely.
I would encourage you to talk to Hunter through everything. Kids are so, so smart! Let him know when he wakes up that you and daddy have decided to start using time out when he misbehaves starting today, show him where he'll be sitting, let him know you don't want him to be there, but if he misbehaves he will go there ... stuff like that - BEFORE he ends up in time out, WHILE he is being sent to time out, and when he is DONE with his time out talk it all through to him.
 Maybe it's dumb... but I am huge on explaining everything to the boys. Ya never know how things are connecting in their minds!
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-Jessica-
<--- 25 weeks
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RE: Time-Outs - 9/26/2008 1:54:15 PM
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Georgia-Peach
Posts: 1891
Joined: 6/2/2005
From: Georgia on my mind
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quote:
Chelle, what kind of things are you wanting to send Hunter to time-out for? For whining and tantruming?
Hunter still has problems controlling himself when it comes to touching things he should not be touching such as the television. I will pop his hand and he still does it. He has also gotten bad about standing on the couch, which personally I do not like. He is being hard headed about obeying when we tell him to sit. Just things like that, learning to listen type of issues.
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Chelle
A Mother holds her child's hand for a moment, but holds their heart forever.
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RE: Time-Outs - 9/26/2008 3:31:58 PM
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PrincessDonna
Posts: 10265
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Cow country, Upstate NY
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We have just started time outs with Levi (19 months). I use it for things like hurting the baby and messing with things (TV, bookshelf, etc.) right after I tell him not to. I put him there, with a firm NO, and return him to the corner if he tries to leave. He's starting to stay on his own sometimes, complete with the "required" sobbing he sees his older siblings do.  (The older siblings cannot get out of the corner until they have remained their several minutes QUIETLY, so the sobbing does not do them good. He hasn't figured that out yet.) I don't time how long I keep him there...basically until I think he understands as much as he can that what he did was not allowed and will not be tolerated. When I let him out, I reiterate why he was there, and give him a hug while I prompt him to say, "Sorry, Mommy." If he needs to apologize to anyone else, I help him do that then also.
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He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
~Psalm 91:4~
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No words of wisdom just know that everyone goes through the same thing when starting out. Just a lot of sending them back to the spot and saying stay there.
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