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The Pornification of a Generation - 10/11/2008 9:24:44 PM
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cynthia
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Article Link Here.
Please read the article before responding to the thread.
How do you avoid the pornification of your children?
How do you explain exactly what is wrong with Bratz dolls?
How are you handling this issue?
This thread assumes you agree that pornification is a problem. This is not a debate thread.
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RE: The Pornification of a Generation - 10/12/2008 12:16:02 AM
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Leslie_JnJs_mom
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I think Bratz Dolls has clothing fashions that will make my daughter wear stuff I will never let her wear. When they are young like the child in the article it is pretty easy to redirect to a different toy as they get older it will get a bit more difficult.
I try to avoid TV with commercials so my child is not temped to want stuff I will not let her have.
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RE: The Pornification of a Generation - 10/12/2008 1:15:44 AM
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stellaluna
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As someone who is not a parent, but spends a lot of time with and talking to teens and tweens...two things:
1) Parents have to stop thinking any place is safe.
I cannot think of any reason that anyone too young to drive should be hanging out at the mall, for example.
Our local skate park is crawling with 8-12 year olds whose parents drop them off to skate and go do something else, sometimes for several hours. (I even know a six-year-old who spends a couple of hours a day unsupervised at a local park.) While there is skating going on, there is much more going on as well...sexual innuendo and sex games, everything but the actual act, sometimes thinly disguised drug use, fighting/bullying, etc. Old people like me--or anyone over, say, 25--are your friend because they will police the area, but most of the time it's a free-for-all. Every old school skater I know absolutely refuses to allow their daughters to hang out at the skate park because of...well, you can imagine.
2) Parents have got to start talking frankly about sex.
It is too late to think you can wait until your kid is 12 or 10 or maybe 8 to not have "the talk." Don't think that if the only place your kid is around other kids is Sunday school that you don't need to worry about it. Sexual language is the vernacular, mostly perpetuated by music lyrics and then spread through your kid's peer group. If you aren't up on it, check out the Urban Dictionary. I won't link to it, because it's very much against TOS, but it is chock full of common slang. If your daughter wants a Bratz doll, tell her it glorifies strippers and prostitutes, explain what they are, don't sugar coat it, etc.
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RE: The Pornification of a Generation - 10/12/2008 8:48:49 AM
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Consecrated2God
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I think Stellaluna's advice to talk about sex is probably the most important thing we can do. We can not allow our kids to play with certain toys or let them wear certain clothing, and that is helpful, but they are still surrounded by it. By restricting what we do we at least can give them the message that we don't agree with it, but we have to talk to them about it too. The entire culture is telling them that this is normal, and if we don't actively combat that way of thinking it's going to be something they absorb as normal, too.
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RE: The Pornification of a Generation - 10/12/2008 11:18:02 AM
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zamdad
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Amen to Stellaluna. OUr culture is saturated with sexual imagery. If we're going to change the culture, it has to begin in our own homes. We have to know what's going on in the world around us and in the lives of our kids, yet remain standing on the solid rock of Christ amid the storm. We have to get over our own discomforts and talk to our kids about things like sex, pornography, modesty, drugs, etc.
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RE: The Pornification of a Generation - 10/12/2008 1:28:12 PM
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Mrs.X
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In the article, it was saying something about what used to be hooker/stripper clothing is now the norm. I can totally see that. Fishnets, big plastic looking high heels, showing off the thong by wearing ultra low-rise pants. It's really quite sad. I kinda remember jumping on the bandwagon in high school a little, and I felt it was normal because there were many girls at my school who dressed the same or worse.
I like the way Stella put it, Bratz dolls glorify prostitutes and strippers. They do, absolutely. I think it's important to talk about that what may look like normal because everyone else is doing it, doesn't make it right. It would be good talk about it and potray it in every aspect.
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From Sweet Grass to the Packin' House
A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. -Proverbs 15:1
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RE: The Pornification of a Generation - 10/12/2008 2:00:09 PM
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Auben
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We can keep things out of our houses but I think it's also important to communicate about things when we do see them.
The first time we see something inappropriate I talk about what Dad and I think is inappropriate about it. The next time I let them talk about it. At the ages we have here (3-9) it's most likely they parrot back what we said originally when they see something, but sometime we have some original comments and I think it's important for them to work it out and to be encouraged to work it out verbally.
I don't want to seem embarassed (although sometimes I am). My mother was and I knew not to talk about things with her, so I had to develop this on my own.
So far my kids police this pretty well. Of course, new things come up all the time. I don't want to create a bubble. I want to create a safe haven. That means we don't immediately turn something off. We talk about it. We think about why it would be inappropriate or appropriate. Then we turn the channel or pass the aisle or billboard.
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RE: The Pornification of a Generation - 10/12/2008 2:15:18 PM
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Sideways
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I really like your approach, Tamara. You have good insight.
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RE: The Pornification of a Generation - 10/12/2008 4:09:46 PM
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Consecrated2God
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quote:
That means we don't immediately turn something off. We talk about it. We think about why it would be inappropriate or appropriate. Then we turn the channel or pass the aisle or billboard.
I agree with your approach. We do that a lot, too.
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RE: The Pornification of a Generation - 10/12/2008 7:36:36 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
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This is one of the reasons my parents didn't let us have Barbie's when we were little..they found alternative dolls called "The Sunshine family," which consisted of a married mom and dad and a baby(Steve, Stephanie, and Sweets). Of course, compared to Bratz, Barbies seem mild, but this was long before Bratz.
Of course, the same thing happened with us that happened with Sandy's daughter and finding Hannah Montana at a friend's house. Although we weren't technically allowed barbies, we ended up playing them with our friends.
Of course, not only are toys cheaply dressed, they are cheaply made these days..someone needs to start a toy company with well made decent toys..I thought Pleasant Company was the cat's meow for a while, but I have realized that in almost each book, the girl at some point or other gets rewarded for disobedience in some way. Plus, they sold out to Mattel, even though the company was originally started as an anti-Barbie company.
P.S. I didn't know until I went to go get my link that "The Sunshine Family," was also made by Mattel. I wonder if my parents knew that, lol.
Vision Forum is a good source for wholesome toys.
Here is their boys' collection.
And they have a nice "Beautiful Girlhood" series.
< Message edited by OneOfHisJewels -- 10/12/2008 7:57:38 PM >
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RE: The Pornification of a Generation - 10/12/2008 10:52:44 PM
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uponeagleswings
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quote:
ORIGINAL: OneOfHisJewels
Of course, not only are toys cheaply dressed, they are cheaply made these days..someone needs to start a toy company with well made decent toys
There are a few companies out there that still make sturdy quality toys. Melissa and Doug are some of my favorites, and they're fairly easy to find and reasonably priced. Most of the other brands that I really like are made in Europe and I've ordered from websites. Because my toys get used and abused by lots of kids, I prefer to buy quality that will hold up. Moolka is good, as is Monkeybeantoys and FatBrainToys.
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RE: The Pornification of a Generation - 10/13/2008 11:48:03 AM
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stampinlady
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Be a good example. I think we need to have our children see us turning from provacative things like movies, books, magazines and how we dress. Since working retail I have seen my share of "sexy" moms come in and buy the same stuff for their daughters. It makes me sad. I've also seen waaaaaaay too much old "boobage" this summer and just shake my head. Keep 'em covered ladies!!
I have noticed that the jr department of Kohls has looked more conservative this year than before so that's positive.
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RE: The Pornification of a Generation - 10/13/2008 11:53:22 AM
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zoebob
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I've been CHristmas shopping for my DD1 who is 12. I am happy with the clothes. The tunics with leggings are popular. I am OK with those as long as the tunic is long enough to thoroughly cover the rear. Lots of long loose sweaters dresses this year too.
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RE: The Pornification of a Generation - 10/13/2008 11:58:20 AM
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shadowspring
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quote:
ORIGINAL: stellaluna
1) Parents have to stop thinking any place is safe.
2) Parents have got to start talking frankly about sex.
You nailed it, stellaluna!
We thought we would start talking to our son about sex in a frank way when he turned nine. We had it all planned out- father/son weekend get away, I had done with his older sister when she was ten, but we felt we couldn't wait that long with her younger brother.
A fellow Christian home school family proved to us that as soon as we started thinking about it, we should have planned the weekend for right then.
This other child (from a family we trusted) got on our computer with our son, who was allowed to play computer games. But this older boy opened up the internet connection and typed the word pornography into Google search.  
My husband caught them almost immediately, as our computer is in a public place and we were keeping a close eye on the boys just because they were boys. But the damage was done.
I was livid. Instead of our planned relaxed weekend informational seminar, the subject came up in an ugly, unanticipated ambush. My son had no idea what was going on. His ninth birthday was still two months away.
No place is safe. Talk frankly as early as your conscience begins to dwell on it. Yep, I couldn't agree more.
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RE: The Pornification of a Generation - 10/13/2008 1:46:23 PM
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cynthia
Posts: 7975
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From: Beautiful Puget Sound Region
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Shadow, That just about makes me cry.
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RE: The Pornification of a Generation - 10/13/2008 3:15:29 PM
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stampinlady
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Do you guys have filters on your computers? It works well for us.
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Deb
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RE: The Pornification of a Generation - 10/13/2008 6:46:26 PM
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cynthia
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Good point.
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My husband and I have a motto:
We are the leader. We are one.
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Seriously, I think we should be careful about what our children watch on tv, games they play, internet usage, and magazines they read. ETA: Most importantly we need to teach them what God's Word says about sex and be good examples of purity and modesty for them to (hopefully) follow. 
I get so frustrated sometimes by the pervasiveness of this issue. It really stinks. 
my soldier! 
I remember my daughter coming out of her room one morning with a very low cut top on. I told her she couldn't wear it. She said, "But Mommy, you bought this for me and said it was fine." I replied, "Honey, that was two bras sizes ago. It covered you properly when we bought it, but now it barely covers you." We were having trouble keeping up with it for a while. She didn't have a mirror in her room either. Mirrors can be our friends.
We never left him unattended in our home or outside of our home that he could learn such a word. 
