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Teen Christian Dating - 6/26/2008 1:47:00 PM
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BJirah
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Hi
I would like know if anyone would direct me to a christian website with information on christian teen dating together with giving me scripture references on this subject and other important teen issues?
< Message edited by BJirah -- 6/26/2008 2:05:07 PM >
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RE: Teen Christian Dating - 6/27/2008 5:01:50 PM
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4IMPersuaded
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I'm sorry that I don't have an answer for you, but I am curious-- are you a leader or a teen? It might help to know.
Blessings.
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RE: Teen Christian Dating - 6/30/2008 5:12:47 AM
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Purposeful_Life
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One of the other issues concerning dating is the national culture - the word 'dating' means different things in America and England for example.
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God has designed a purpose/vision/dream for us all - have you found yours?
Learn to D.R.E.A.M.
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RE: Teen Christian Dating - 6/30/2008 6:31:17 PM
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RJR_fan
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Do children too young to start families have any business getting off on mutual sexual stimulation? Is there any Biblical warrant for the custom of "dating," of trying on human beings one after another? Doesn't the pattern of forming, then breaking, one attachment after another set the victims of the process up for unstable marriages?
Why is the divorce rate among evangelicals the same as that among the unchurched?
_____________________________
The future has never been shaped by majorities but rather by dedicated minorities. And free men do not wait for the future; they create it. RJR
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RE: Teen Christian Dating - 7/1/2008 1:01:09 AM
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Purposeful_Life
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That is a fascinating definition for the word' dating' RJR_Fan - where did you get that from?
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Nigel
God has designed a purpose/vision/dream for us all - have you found yours?
Learn to D.R.E.A.M.
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RE: Teen Christian Dating - 7/1/2008 6:52:08 AM
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RJR_fan
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Gregg Harris taught an excellent series of lessons on the topic of "recreational sexuality" a while back. His son Josh Harris later wrote a book on the subject, I Kissed Dating Goodbye. There is no Biblical justification for single young people to spend unsupervised time alone together. In fact, if we take God's Word seriously, fornication and adultery are capital offenses, not trivial indiscretions. If God said the death penalty was the appropriate response to this trifling with His image[1], should we not take pains to avoid "near occasions of sin?"
If protecting marital intimacy is so important to God, should it not be important to us?
[1] "In the image of God created He them. Male and female created He them." Something about the interplay between male and female illustrates God's nature.
_____________________________
The future has never been shaped by majorities but rather by dedicated minorities. And free men do not wait for the future; they create it. RJR
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RE: Teen Christian Dating - 7/1/2008 8:24:39 AM
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slushie
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I have read that book. By the way, what was the definition of "unsupervised"? Ask I recall, when Josh Harris and his future wife started courting, they'd go out alone to restaurants. It was just the two of them. However, they were accoutable to several godly men and women. Do you mean "unsupervised" to mean going out alone?
It is true that protect marital intimacy is important. I think that people look at the word dating to mean that a boy or a girl picks up a partner, then dumps that person after a few weeks. There's no real commitment- and I infer that that's how you see it.
In any case, I'd judge my kids old enough to date on the basis of their maturity level and where they are in life. If they're still in high school, then I'd ask them to wait a while. Some teens know how to handle it in a godly manner. Some don't.
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RE: Teen Christian Dating - 7/2/2008 2:27:33 AM
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iluvatar
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quote:
ORIGINAL: RJR_fan
Doesn't the pattern of forming, then breaking, one attachment after another set the victims of the process up for unstable marriages?
Do you have any evidence to prove that it does? Looking at my own life, having some other dating history prior to marriage would have been helpful for me. There were certain things that I just went with, because I didn't see them as outside the bounds of "normal." I believe that had I dated other women before my wife, I could have developed a more accurate perspective of certain things.
-Dan.
_____________________________
Well, I've been to one world fair, a picnic, and a rodeo, and that's the stupidest thing I ever heard come over a set of earphones.
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RE: Teen Christian Dating - 7/2/2008 9:46:54 AM
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youthrev
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I believe dating can take place without a lot of heartbreak and strong attachments being formed if the student goes about it in a sensible manner. I will be doing another "pre-marriage weekend" in the fall during which we will talk about God's design for marriage. The emphasis is placed on marriage, not on dating. The reason is that if the students understand what God intends marriage to look like; and the students understand that every date is a potential for a spouse, they should become more selective in their choices of who to date, how to date, how to treat the person they are dating, when and how to end a relationship with respect, and how to edit their list of "what I want in a spouse." It can potentially prevent a lot of heartache, but it allows the student the freedom to find a godly spouse in what they deem as a "normal" pattern.
Courting may be fine for some, but most students, parents, and even leaders can't even tell a significant difference between dating and courting. And trying to explain to your child why courting is okay, but dating isn't, can be difficult at best. And many who start out courting a person eventually move into dating as the relationship progresses. So is there a formula for determining what is the best way to go? Not really.
Which is why I start with marriage and work backward with the students I teach. Over the course of the weekend, we have five biblical studies on the following:
1. The biblical model of headship and submission
2. The biblical roles of the husband and wife
3. Becoming someone worth marrying
4. Finding a godly spouse
5. Making sure Christ is the priority/center of a marriage
In addition, we have one all-questions-answered session for the boys and one for the girls (although we will not answer questions concerning sexual practice or technique; issues of boundaries and biology are answered with a stipulation that the parents should be spoken to if the environment permits). Because of the format of the weekend and the seriousness of some of the ones who came, I saw a couple of new filters go up for some of the youth, a couple of girls who looked for the "hot guy" or "bad boy" changed their thinking and expressed no interest, and the same for the boys. They were actually able to look at things from a "long-term" perspective and some began asking themselves, "Would I want to be married to him/her for the rest of my life, and rear children with him/her?" If the answer is no, they actually back away and look somewhere else. They have also found their own value and have gained perspective in their gender role. The boys started becoming more respectful of the girls as sisters and as "prospective spouses", and vice versa.
So, to the question about dating: dating for the sake of dating goes nowhere fast and just as a social outlet is ineffective. With a view toward godly marriage and working backward from that, they can and most will be much more selective about who they date. Granted, not all will grasp the concept or will think they are the exception, but it certainly can give them a better perspective on why they want to date, and who they set their sights on.
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RE: Teen Christian Dating - 7/2/2008 1:35:25 PM
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DaveW
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From: MD suburbs of Washington DC
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quote:
ORIGINAL: RJR_fan
Do children too young to start families have any business getting off on mutual sexual stimulation?
There was no reason to take this thread down that road.
quote:
Is there any Biblical warrant for the custom of "dating," of trying on human beings one after another?
That is entirely a cultural thing. Biblical times and cultures had arranged marriages.
quote:
Doesn't the pattern of forming, then breaking, one attachment after another set the victims of the process up for unstable marriages?
Is there any hard evidence to say it does? It kind of makes sense, but is that really how it works?
quote:
Why is the divorce rate among evangelicals the same as that among the unchurched?
The same reason: hard hearts. No one is taking the time to disciple new believers to expose those stony places and deal with them.
_____________________________
Avatar is Saphira 5 months and Louvena at 23 months!
We are now grandparents TWICE!!
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RE: Teen Christian Dating - 7/4/2008 1:12:33 AM
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KPOP
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HI THERE.
JOSEPH AND MARY DATED -- THEY WERE BETHROTHE
AND MARY WAS INSPIRED BY GOD AND CONCEIVED BABY JESUS
AND JOSEPH TRIED TO PUT HER AWAY QUIETLY -- BUT AN ANGEL SPOKE TO JOSEPH AND TOLD HIM TO MAKE HER AN HONEST WOMAN
AND HE DID
AND MARY WAS A GOOD MOTHER TO JESUS CHRIST
8888888
BUT THEN THERE WAS EVE A MATURE -- WHO WAS DECEIVED BY SATAN WHO IN TURN EVE DECEIVED ADAM
SO AGES DOES NOT REALLY MATTER -- EXCEPT FOR LEGAL
AND ALSO WHAT THEY KNOW OF THE WORLD
EVE WHO WAS INNOCENT IN BIRTH -- GOD'S CHOOSING -- WAS DECEIVED BY SATAN
AND MARY -- PROBABLY INNOCENT TOO -- WAS USED BY GOD -- TO CONCEIVED JESUS CHRIST
THE BEST THING -- IS TO REALLY HAVE A GROUNDED CHILD BRINGING UP
SO IF YOU LEARN AT HOME -- TO GO TO SCHOOL FIRST AND DATE LATER
THEN DO THAT --
BUT IT DOES NOT MEANS THAT YOU CANNOT HAVE FRIENDS
FRIENDS ARE GOOD TO HAVE
JUST MAKE SURE THAT YOUR FOUNDATION IS GROUNDED AND THAT YOU ARE NOT ENTICED BY THE WAYS OF THE WORLD
GOOD LUCK
YOU CAN ALWAYS BUY A TEEN DATING BOOK
MY AUNT GAVE ME ONE AND I READ IT
SHE GAVE IT TO HER DAUTHERS AND MY AUNT LET ME LOAN IT AND I READ IT
THEN YOU CAN READ HOW TO BRING UP A CHILD
THIS FOR SOME REASONS FOR ME OPENED UP MY EYES INTO BEING COGNITIVE THINKER
YOU CAN ALSO CALL THE SALVATION ARMY WESTERN TERRITORY AND ASK TO SUBSCRIBE TO THEIR YOUTH MAGAZINE
BUT GET INVOLVE IN YOUR CHURCH
IF YOUR CHURCH DOES NOT HAVE TEEN YOUR AGE
YOU MIGHT LIKE TO FIND A CHURCH THAT HAS ONE
I DID NOT
I WENT TO A CHURCH THAT HAS SINGLES FELLOWSHIP
IT LEAD ME TO A CHURCH THAT IS A SISTER OF THE OTHER CHURCHES THAT ARE TOGETHER
IT LEAD ME TO MY HUSBAND
SO I WENT FROM THE SALVATION ARMY -- TO HORIZON CHRISTIAN FELLOWSHIP -- TO CALVARY CHAPEL
BUT NOW I WORSHIP AT CORNERSTONE INTERNATIONAL CHRISTIAN FELLOWSHIP
GOOD LUCK
KATHY
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RE: Teen Christian Dating - 7/5/2008 10:44:19 PM
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DaveW
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From: MD suburbs of Washington DC
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quote:
ORIGINAL: KPOP
JOSEPH AND MARY DATED
They did not; as the concept of dating was still about 1900 years away. Most likely it was an arranged marriage.
quote:
THEY WERE BETHROTHED True.
_____________________________
Avatar is Saphira 5 months and Louvena at 23 months!
We are now grandparents TWICE!!
====================================
Our CD is now available here:
http://cdbaby.com/cd/dswaggoner
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RE: Teen Christian Dating - 7/7/2008 6:14:27 AM
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rwe2156
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quote:
ORIGINAL: RJR_fan
Why is the divorce rate among evangelicals the same as that among the unchurched?
Do you really think the divorce rate amongst the TRUE church is just like the world?
_____________________________
The Truth is between the tensions. The "contradictions"only reflect our lack of understanding.
So we choose sides. God help us.
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RE: Teen Christian Dating - 7/12/2008 3:09:15 PM
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BJirah
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Joined: 6/26/2008
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yes, i am a teen leader. All input and scripture knowledge will be well accepted. i love looking at things from others point of view and I look forward to fresh ideas. thanks for your reply.
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RE: Teen Christian Dating - 7/12/2008 3:17:47 PM
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BJirah
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Joined: 6/26/2008
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I agree with your views on dating. True, some individuals a mature enough to handle it and some are not. Thanks for your relpy.
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RE: Teen Christian Dating - 7/15/2008 11:58:18 AM
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GregandJenny
Posts: 379
Joined: 2/16/2006
From: Near Seattle Washington
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quote:
Why is the divorce rate among evangelicals the same as that among the unchurched?
I think there is a problem with this thinking. Just Because one claims to be evangelical doesn't mean they are. Just because one claims to be a Christian doesn't mean they are. Do they even know the definition.
G
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The Will of God never takes you to where the Grace of God will not protect you
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RE: Teen Christian Dating - 7/21/2008 7:01:12 AM
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RJR_fan
Posts: 688
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From: RTP, in sunny NC USA
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quote:
Do you really think the divorce rate amongst the TRUE church is just like the world?
Like the old Calvinists, I go by the two-part test. Does the person assent to the creeds, and lead a life free of visible scandal (unrepented sin)? If so, it is my job to consider that person a fellow Christian, and God's job to dig beneath the surface and deal with the heart. Attempts to define "the TRUE church" on the basis of something beyond what we, as humans, can objectively observe, lead God's people into weird places. Is "experience" a more reliable guide than creed + behavior? Well, false conversion experiences can be easily mass-produced by a talented stage hypnotist -- such as Billy Graham -- whose own organization ruefully admits that 96% of the "conversions" generated by his organization are spurious.
Only God can truly sort out His own "at the end of the age," when the reapers first cull the tares.
Us mere humans have to settle for less certainty. Given the fact that we are not God, we have to attend, and support, a local church that is something less than 100% "the TRUE church."
My friend, believe it or not, if you honestly examine your own soul, you'll see something less than 100% TRUE Christian perfection.[1]
At this point in history, God's people are deeply, and profoundly, compromised. More than 90% of the Christian parents are cool with handing their kids over to a rival faith for their religious education. Our divided allegiance cripples us, alas. OTOH, a growing number of Christian parents are not rendering unto Caesar that which is God's. The general testimony among those inside this move of God is -- "our teenage children are more wholesome than we were at their age. And much happier."
[1] I assume you are an honest fellow pilgrim. Thomas Wilson, OTOH, was convinced that he was incapable of sin, and would outperform Jesus. This conviction took root in his soul after he engaged in an adulterous affair while president of Princeton College, and guided his messianic schemes that plunged the world into a century of bloodletting.
< Message edited by RJR_fan -- 7/21/2008 9:20:53 PM >
_____________________________
The future has never been shaped by majorities but rather by dedicated minorities. And free men do not wait for the future; they create it. RJR
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RE: Teen Christian Dating - 7/22/2008 5:47:00 PM
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jawpawjpjt
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An good website that includes information about Christian Teen Dating is www.TeenU.org. It's a free online "university" in which teens take courses that involve reading a book and taking a test. The courses are Dating (all ages), How to grow as a Christian (for senior high), Prayer (for all ages), Spiritual Warfare (for all ages), Decision Making (for senior high), Living your Life for Christ in High School (for all ages), Personal Finances (for all ages), Selfishness (for all ages), and Parenting (for senior high). The book for the Dating course is Straight Talk About Teen Dating by James Wegert.
The homepage of the site also has access to the Christian Teen blog which addresses topics of interest to teens from a Christian perspective.
< Message edited by jawpawjpjt -- 7/24/2008 12:33:58 AM >
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