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Sick Kids in Church/Nursery - 9/30/2008 10:27:34 AM
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rural_gal
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I am a parent of a 20 year old college student, and two small children, ages 3 and 18 months.
When my children have a fever or a cold, or anything else that someone else might catch, I try not to take them out in public. Of course, I'm reminded of the one time I did take them out, to get medicine. There was no one else to watch them, and I felt I didn't have a choice.
But I'm talking here about church, sunday school, nursery. I've seen children in here with runny noses, wet coughs, hacking coughs, and generally greenish-looking complexions. I don't understand why a parent would take their child out when they're sick. Especially to a place where they are interacting with others, and they might get sicker, not to mention making the others sick.
I understand that sometimes you need to go out (like the medicine, no sitter scenario), but church/nursery school/sunday school are all things that you could stay home from if your child was sick. Even if you were the Sunday School teacher, or the pastor. No one is 'that" important that a replacement can't be found.
In our church, we have no guidelines regarding sick kids in the nursery/sunday school. I guess they think parents will use common sense, but my children have become sick after being around sick children. Coincidence? Maybe. Maybe not. I don't understand why they can't just put a little blub in the bulletin that says, "If you or your child are sick (with something that could be contagious), please don't come to church, you'll be better off at home, and we'll pray for you."
The people running the nursery let every child in regardless, because, I guess, they want to be good Christians and don't want to turn anyone away.
Same goes for sending your kids to school sick. Yes, I realize that some people are in the precarious position with their bosses that they can't constantly take sick time off for their kids (but I think there are laws protecting all of us against that), or maybe they just don't have the time to take off, and can't afford to miss the work. I have a niece like that.
Anyone have any insight? Maybe I'm overlooking something.
Thanks,
R.G.
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RE: Sick Kids in Church/Nursery - 9/30/2008 11:41:59 AM
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Jenny-Fair
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When I worked in the nursery, we had a sign with very clear guidelines--coughing, fever, not-clear runny noses, throwing up, and a couple other things were on there for the 'we will not take your child' list.
However, there are parents who will simply medicate the symptoms and drop them off anyway, and that is sad.
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Ziva: It is possible. I do not remember all their names.
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RE: Sick Kids in Church/Nursery - 9/30/2008 11:51:42 AM
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favoredmomof4
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Hi, R.G.,
I think we're on the same page. It seems like many times my children come down with colds/fevers, after being at church the Sunday before. Like you said, this could be just coincidence in certain cases. That being said, our church does have guidelines. I'm going by memory, but I know for sure if there is fever, something contagious, greenish nasal discharge, etc., the child cannot go into nursery. (It is different as the kids get older, not as strict.) If a child has been on antibiotic for 24+ hours, they can go into nursery.
The thing that I notice however, is that sometimes coughs and sniffles still make it into the nursery. Kind of a "gray area" I guess. It is hard to eliminate every potential sickness.
IMO, you should talk with the nursery director - they should come up with a policy to protect everyone. And I agree, children should stay home and rest when they are not well. 
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RE: Sick Kids in Church/Nursery - 9/30/2008 12:03:11 PM
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Kat_D
Posts: 3131
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Jenny-Fair
When I worked in the nursery, we had a sign with very clear guidelines--coughing, fever, not-clear runny noses, throwing up, and a couple other things were on there for the 'we will not take your child' list.
Our church has this policy also.
On the other hand, unless you lock your child up in a hermetically sealed room day and night, there is no way you can prevent him/her from being exposed to germs that cause illness. Many are airborne or picked up on door handles, toys, etc. Also many illnesses are actually in the contagious stage when there is no outward symptoms. I believe I got my current cold from using the phone of someone at work who later became sick. If I had seen she had obvious symptoms, I would have wiped the phone down with alcohol. So, you can't win! 
_____________________________
~Kat
"...And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes...no more death, sorrow, nor crying."
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RE: Sick Kids in Church/Nursery - 9/30/2008 12:07:58 PM
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Jenny-Fair
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No, you can't win, but people ARE very rude about it. I was sick almost all winter long last year, and ended up in the hospital, and it was because I worked with people who thought it was virtuous to come to work no matter how you feel, so they would come in with fevers and coughing and so on, and as the secretary, I was exposed to everything they had.
_____________________________
Tony: Ziva, did you kill Houdini?
Ziva: It is possible. I do not remember all their names.
My Blog
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RE: Sick Kids in Church/Nursery - 9/30/2008 1:34:08 PM
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Leslie_JnJs_mom
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OY I know what you mean!!! I hate it when I pick up my daughter and there is green snot coming out of a kids nose or they are hacking up a lung. It really makes me think seriously of quitting church sometimes.
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<------- Jessica and I had so much fun with grandma!
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RE: Sick Kids in Church/Nursery - 9/30/2008 3:16:19 PM
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garsyt
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Now every church I've been to has had similar guidelines like those already posted.
However - I need to caution you against going by "looks" alone.
I have a child that has had health issues since he was a baby. There were plenty of times when he would have a wheezy cough going on or have a rash - non-contagious - simple due to an allergic reaction to something in his environment or his asthma. He'd be medicated and just fine, as in there was not much else we could do and he would be playing normally, but the resulting cough or rash would freak some folks out.
It's also very hard on Nursery workers. It is! You know that a child likely shouldn't be there - but parents say it's just teething, or that they've been on medication for 24 hours already, or that they don't think it's contagious or it's just an allergic reaction. And sometimes, even in church people will lie or stretch the truth or simply not know and nursery workers have to make judgment calls and sometimes out of a desire to make the parents happy and not cause waves - clouds that judgment. It would be nice if churches were totally honest zones, but unfortunately they are not.
Blessings,
Garsy
_____________________________
My Blog: www.moredayslikethisplease.wordpress.com
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RE: Sick Kids in Church/Nursery - 9/30/2008 3:32:20 PM
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Mrs.Wifey
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Jenny-Fair
No, you can't win, but people ARE very rude about it. I was sick almost all winter long last year, and ended up in the hospital, and it was because I worked with people who thought it was virtuous to come to work no matter how you feel, so they would come in with fevers and coughing and so on, and as the secretary, I was exposed to everything they had.
Sometimes it's the difference between paying bills, and not paying bills though. I definitely have worked when sick, although I do try and stay home if possible. I won't go into debt or not pay bills just because I have a cough, though. It's also not expected at my workplace...
And then sometimes, you never know. Last week I took DD to a playdate when she had a clear runny nose, which is perfectly acceptable. The next day she came down with a barking cough and all the other kids at the playdate had been exposed to her ickies. There is no way I could have known she was going to get sick, fortunately none of the other moms are super uptight about colds. Just don't share the pukies, lol.
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RE: Sick Kids in Church/Nursery - 9/30/2008 3:38:20 PM
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all4aremine
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You have to be very careful with judging kids that show some kind of illness that you think may or may not be contagious. My child is 5 years old and practically ran around with a runny nose and cough for two years straight, but I sent him to nursery and church every day because his runny nose and cough were not contagious. He has severe food allergies and was getting a hold of the food that was causing the allergy or sinus problem. If I went on color of snot or cough alone, my child would never go anywhere. Heck he would vomit on a regular basis also because his food allergies would cause his throat to swell shut which gave him as a small child a reaction to throw up.
I know that before I actually witnessed these things I thought the same thing about sending children to school or churches with runny noses or coughs how could someone do that, but now that I have witnessed it first hand with more then just my son, I know better. Heck now that I have developed some severe allergies myself, I will run fever with my allergies. I know it is allergies and not a cold because it is during the times my allergens are at its highest.
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RE: Sick Kids in Church/Nursery - 9/30/2008 3:46:27 PM
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MC4JC
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Sounds like your nursery/Sunday school needs to have some clear guidelines on "sick" kids. While you don't want to be over protective and kids will get sick; IMO its wrong and health hazard to be dropping off obviously sick kids in a room (especially for the nursery)!
Maybe get together with the pastor or other elders, etc. and bring it up in a meeting. If I was in charge, I'd have to stop them and say "please do NOT bring your child in if he/she is obviously sick and can pass on germs to younger children."
If they get mad, so what? Its more about the safety of the others then about hurting their pride!
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RE: Sick Kids in Church/Nursery - 9/30/2008 4:15:26 PM
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Jenny-Fair
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quote:
Sometimes it's the difference between paying bills, and not paying bills though.
That was definitely not the case. This was the gov't office where most people were forever skipping out early and stuff, they just seemed to think that sick people should still work. Like then you were better than others because you sacrificed or something. Some were rather perturbed that I was out for 9 days when I had Type B Influenza and had to go to the hospital and all, and then the kids had it after me.
_____________________________
Tony: Ziva, did you kill Houdini?
Ziva: It is possible. I do not remember all their names.
My Blog
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RE: Sick Kids in Church/Nursery - 9/30/2008 8:19:15 PM
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macokjc
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Nurseries should have guidelines - and if you don't have a nursery director to set them, you should talk to the pastor. Not only do sick kids belong at home, it's no fair to the sick child itself to be around other children. Our nursery's basic rules are: no fever, diarrhea, vomiting, etc. for 24 hours. Absolutely no green or yellow snot, and no fresh colds. If the nursery worker doesn't feel right getting a parent to remove their child, they come and get me. The policy is in writing, so we rarely have a problem.
That being said, most children are contagious before they show signs of sickness.
It does bother me to no end when parents complain about their kids getting sick every week because of the nursery. These same parents plop their child into grocery carts, send them to daycare, let anybody in the congregation hold them, have older siblings etc.. that carry germs.........We work extremely hard to offer a safe, enjoyable, learning, environment for children, and unless you do keep them and everybody around them in a bubble, they will get sick.
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RE: Sick Kids in Church/Nursery - 10/1/2008 8:30:32 AM
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rural_gal
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quote:
ORIGINAL: macokjc
Nurseries should have guidelines - and if you don't have a nursery director to set them, you should talk to the pastor. Not only do sick kids belong at home, it's no fair to the sick child itself to be around other children. Our nursery's basic rules are: no fever, diarrhea, vomiting, etc. for 24 hours. Absolutely no green or yellow snot, and no fresh colds. If the nursery worker doesn't feel right getting a parent to remove their child, they come and get me. The policy is in writing, so we rarely have a problem.
That being said, most children are contagious before they show signs of sickness.
It does bother me to no end when parents complain about their kids getting sick every week because of the nursery. These same parents plop their child into grocery carts, send them to daycare, let anybody in the congregation hold them, have older siblings etc.. that carry germs.........We work extremely hard to offer a safe, enjoyable, learning, environment for children, and unless you do keep them and everybody around them in a bubble, they will get sick.
These are good points (as many of the others have said!). I guess I'll have to work on my neurotic tendencies a little more! :)
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RE: Sick Kids in Church/Nursery - 10/1/2008 9:21:34 AM
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macokjc
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Please don't misunderstand me - I don't think you are being neurotic at all. If our nursery allowed obviously sick kids in, my kids would not be in there - and I probably wouldn't want to work in it either. Yuck, yuck, yuck.....
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RE: Sick Kids in Church/Nursery - 10/1/2008 9:41:48 AM
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kernsfamily
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quote:
But I'm talking here about church, sunday school, nursery. I've seen children in here with runny noses, wet coughs, hacking coughs, and generally greenish-looking complexions.
your church should have ENFORCEABLE "rules" regarding children that are sick. At our church, they are NOT allowed.....
I know at our church, if we were to bring a child with the kind of "symptoms" you're describing, the teacher in that class would probably say something like, "While we would love to have _____ join us today, he/she appears very sick....here's some materials for him/her to take home, since we cannot allow him/her to be around the other children right now....I hope he/she feels better soon".....
and, a few days later, someone from the children's ministry will call and follow up to make sure the child is feeling better.
I TRIED to look on line to see if their "policy" is posted there on the website, but, suprisingly, it's not......
_____________________________
Proud dad of 3 great girls....Erin, Emilie and Elise
Blessed to have all of them in a "totally awesome" public elementary school!
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RE: Sick Kids in Church/Nursery - 10/1/2008 11:43:20 AM
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rural_gal
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I agree there should be a policy posted. But our church is manned mostly by well-meaning volunteers, and I'm afraid the lady who is in charge of the nursery isn't that forward thinking. I don't know if she feels that to post something like that would make the nursery seem unfriendly, or what.
I do know that several people met with the church leaders/nursery lady to discuss concerns about children not being properly watched, or there being a too high child to adult ratio, and I think the sickness thing came up. I wasn't there, but was told that it didn't go well, that the nursery lady had her feelings hurt, so that was the end of it.
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RE: Sick Kids in Church/Nursery - 10/1/2008 12:03:19 PM
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stellaluna
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Argh...I've worked with so many people that come into work sick I've had a three-foot rule for years! (And I keep a can of Lysol at my desk.)
I think it's very thoughtless to send a sick child to the nursery and the poor kid that is sick really should be made comfortable at home. Allergies are a different matter, of course, but maybe it's a good idea to get a doctor's note that can be kept on file at church? You would do it for school, right?
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RE: Sick Kids in Church/Nursery - 10/1/2008 2:56:21 PM
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kernsfamily
Posts: 1350
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quote:
I agree there should be a policy posted. But our church is manned mostly by well-meaning volunteers, and I'm afraid the lady who is in charge of the nursery isn't that forward thinking. I don't know if she feels that to post something like that would make the nursery seem unfriendly, or what.
Right....not many "volunteers" in nursery are comfortable being "the Bad Guy" and "kicking" a kid out ....
_____________________________
Proud dad of 3 great girls....Erin, Emilie and Elise
Blessed to have all of them in a "totally awesome" public elementary school!
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RE: Sick Kids in Church/Nursery - 10/1/2008 3:13:35 PM
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garsyt
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quote:
Allergies are a different matter, of course, but maybe it's a good idea to get a doctor's note that can be kept on file at church? You would do it for school, right?
exactly. My ds has had a note on file for years at school and when he was younger and could not express that he was having allergy issues, I had a note from his allergist on file IN the nursery regarding his allergies and Asthma. Before I finally resorted to the note from the doctor - I don't know how many times I was questioned not by nursery workers so much, but by other parents. The nursery director and I were good friends and she was constantly getting hassled about allowing my child in the nursery or children's church with his wheezy cough, red eyes and runny nose.
Blessings,
Garsy
_____________________________
My Blog: www.moredayslikethisplease.wordpress.com
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RE: Sick Kids in Church/Nursery - 10/1/2008 3:29:15 PM
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10SNE1?
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quote:
ORIGINAL: kernsfamily
quote:
I agree there should be a policy posted. But our church is manned mostly by well-meaning volunteers, and I'm afraid the lady who is in charge of the nursery isn't that forward thinking. I don't know if she feels that to post something like that would make the nursery seem unfriendly, or what.
Right....not many "volunteers" in nursery are comfortable being "the Bad Guy" and "kicking" a kid out ....
And your volunteers should never be put in the position of "being the Bad Guy". While we do train our volunteers on how to graciously and diplomatically let a parent know that little Susie is too sick to be cared for in Kids' Ministry today, we also make it clear that we are there to support them.
Anytime there is a potential to "upset" a parent, it should be handled by someone( paid or volunteer leader) who feels comfortable, equipped and supported by the church leadership.
It could be a sick kid, a room that has reached fire code capacity and needs to be "closed" or a parent who insists on not following any of a number of polices and procedures which have been put in place to protect the children.
Wellness polices are commonly in place at many churches. Is there a nurse or preschool teacher in your congregation who would be willing to work with the leadership in order to get a reasonable policy in place? Could someone from the children's area call some churches in the area and ask to see a copy of their policy?
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RE: Sick Kids in Church/Nursery - 10/1/2008 4:09:46 PM
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ladyingrace1979
Posts: 368
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From: Fresno CA
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quote:
ORIGINAL: kernsfamily
quote:
I agree there should be a policy posted. But our church is manned mostly by well-meaning volunteers, and I'm afraid the lady who is in charge of the nursery isn't that forward thinking. I don't know if she feels that to post something like that would make the nursery seem unfriendly, or what.
Right....not many "volunteers" in nursery are comfortable being "the Bad Guy" and "kicking" a kid out ....
What about being a bad guy for allowing children into nursery when you may have a child there who's immune system isn't as strong as others. My husband and I were forced to alternate Sunday attendance because people refused to keep their sick children home. My twins were born 8 weeks early and tended to get sick more easily than others. This continued until they were close to 5 years old.
My now older daughter caught the RSV virus as a baby because a baby sitter allowed a child who was just out of the hospital with RSV to come to daycare. My child now has asthma. She was a full term healthy baby. We spent a lot of time in the doctors and a few trips to ER because no one wanted to be the bad guy.
At our church the policy is spelled out and each new parent is given a copy in a little booklet. If your child has allergies or another medical condition, such as asthma that causes a cough, communicate that to the nursery worker/ coordinator, Sunday school teacher, etc. That should be enough.
Kim Q
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RE: Sick Kids in Church/Nursery - 10/1/2008 4:11:52 PM
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ladyingrace1979
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As far as school, something that bugs me is the policy of rewarding perfect attendance. I know for a fact that most kids get sick at some point in the school year but parents send them and schools make a big deal about them having perfect attendance.
Kim Q
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RE: Sick Kids in Church/Nursery - 10/1/2008 6:02:15 PM
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garsyt
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The silly thing about perfect attendance is that even churches are doing it now. Just a couple weeks ago at our Wednesday night youth meetings, there was a big deal made of the possibility of a "really neat prize" for those who had perfect attendance. And I know of several churches that encourage and reward perfect attendance for Sunday school
Attendance is encouraged at our schools here - but not rewarded with prizes or the like.
Blessings,
Garsy
_____________________________
My Blog: www.moredayslikethisplease.wordpress.com
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RE: Sick Kids in Church/Nursery - 10/3/2008 2:56:39 AM
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locomom
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As far as churches rewarding perfect attendance, we successfully challenge our former church about it. Our arguments were that children don't decide whether they go to church or not. Neither do they choose when they get sick or how badly they get. So your are not rewarding children for something they do or control, and you are fining children who have health problems or families with more children to pass things around.
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