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Seeking understanding

 
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Seeking understanding - 9/27/2008 10:25:57 PM   
Aquilae

 

Posts: 1
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
I'll come right out and say it, my wife had mentioned that she used to be a member here and got good answers, so I'm coming with a question and genuine curiosity.

My wife is a devout christian, has been as long as I have known her (6+ years) and I am not (I'm religious, not christian). I have no problems with her practicing, and encourage it, and yet recently she has stopped going to church. She says it is because we moved, and she doesn't really know where to go. Its become a bit... troublesome as I feel that its my fault. I'm genuinely wondering if anyone here has had a situation like this and would have a suggestion for me.

Most things go well but because of the difference in religion I'm a bit at a loss at how she could be feeling or what she is looking for, and in ways to help.

I do think she's a bit ... not herself since she hasn't been going, and I feel like she really wants to go back, but I'm really not able to help this, which is hard for me.


Anyway sorry for rambling, not really sure how to phrase this, any help would be appreciated.
Post #: 1
RE: Seeking understanding - 9/27/2008 11:46:22 PM   
jaimestarcross

 

Posts: 781
Joined: 11/28/2005
Status: offline
What type of church did your wife attend where you use to live?

Check the phone directory for a similar church and call one of the
phone numbers and ask the minister(or whoever answers) if some
of ladies from the church could come by for a visit(arrange it for a time
that your wife will be at home.) Explain that you're new in town and that your wife is a Christian and you're trying to help her make a connection with a local church.
Post #: 2
RE: Seeking understanding - 9/28/2008 7:38:54 AM   
csl7037

 

Posts: 1773
Joined: 3/24/2008
Status: online
It's easy to get thrown off when you move. Routines are interrupted. And it's hard to walk into a new church alone. Very hard.

The suggestion above is good but why not just find one this morning and go with her?? Let her know you're not committing to go with her all the time but just to help her find a new place. You called yourself "religious" so why not go? Maybe your heart wouldn't be in it (that's what "religious" means to me) but it's the "religious" thing to do, isn't it?

My dad never went to church with us growing up. I can tell you she's in a very difficult position. I commend your extraordinary support and for recognizing how important this it to her and how it's affecting her now that you've moved. But I can't tell you how difficult and not fun it can be to be a wife sitting in church alone week after week, year after year. I can see why, after a move, it would be hard to drag yourself to new churches to meet new people. Getting to know knew people, for her, will mean having to explain herself all the time. No fun.
Post #: 3
RE: Seeking understanding - 9/28/2008 5:04:31 PM   
car2ner


Posts: 2944
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: just north of Florida
Status: offline
M'love and I moved this summer and it has been frustrating trying to find the church God would have us in. It is not as simple as picking one with a right sounding name and going. It had to "feel" right. We believe that there is a fellowship that needs our talents and skills and in return we will learn and grow. We have had the privileged of finding two wonderful churches at our last two homes. We hate church-shopping but it is like trying on jeans, you have to go to find out if it is a good fit. We think we have found the fellowship that God would have us in. Time will tell.

_____________________________

http://www.car2ner.2ya.com
"May your days be long and your hardships few".
Post #: 4
RE: Seeking understanding - 9/28/2008 5:15:47 PM   
Covaan_Meshuga


Posts: 3641
Joined: 6/8/2005
From: a mother who let me live
Status: offline
Good night, Aquilae! How could anyone keep from loving you. What a sweet guy. I needed to read your attitude today.

Be patient with her. As others wrote, sometimes, it does take a while to get back into the swing of things. The main thing to watch for is has she continued to read/study the Bible and pray. She really needs that solidarity, especially while she is not attending anywhere.

Church-shopping is hard and dreadful work. She needs some encouragement, and that may come from friends in the old church, finding something that interests her on the Internet, the phone book, and even from Crosswalk. Did you know that they do church-searches here?

_____________________________

Abiyah
"Ladies and gentlemen, there are things that you will only be able to learn by the weakest among us, and when you snuff them out, you are the one that loses." ~~Gianna Jesson, 1977 LA, CA, saline abortion survivor
Post #: 5
RE: Seeking understanding - 9/29/2008 9:55:58 AM   
manda59


Posts: 6050
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
Status: offline
Aquilae

Could I just ask what your religion is? Just out of curiosity, not for debate or anything.

_____________________________

"Once again....drum roll please! Manda is right"
doinkdom, October 2008
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