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Please Pray: Fighting to save my marriage. - 9/25/2008 11:19:08 PM
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rgsoundguy
Posts: 401
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Pottstown, PA
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Brothers, please pray for me. As I mentioned in another post, I struggle with pornography addiction. God has given me victory in the area, but the hurt that my wife has experienced from it is more than she can bear. Six months ago she asked me to leave, and I reluctantly left. During that time it seemed like we were going to work things out. But something changed one day and it seemed like she was done with me. Today she told me she has gotten a lawyer and is going to file for divorce. I told her I will not sign the papers. I made a commitment, and while I have made mistakes, I am committed to restoring this marriage. She says that I have hurt her enough, and that by refusing to sign divorce papers, I am being stubborn and forcing her to remain in a marriage that she does not want. I am trying to keep my covenant that made not only to her, but to God. Also, I do not feel that we have done all that is possible to restore the marriage. We have not been to counseling during the separation. We both see separate counselors, but no marriage counselor together. She asked me today, do I believe that somehow God is going to miraculously restore our marriage? I answered that I do. All things are possible with Him. She then asked me what am I doing to restore it? I don't know what to do at the moment is how I answered. If you have advice to offer me, I will consider it, but what I really want are just prayers from you my brothers in Christ. Thank you and God Bless.
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Albert Einstein said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. That convinces me that our nation is insane because we continually elect republicans and democrats expecting change and get none.
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RE: Please Pray: Fighting to save my marriage. - 9/26/2008 1:44:35 AM
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OneJohn410
Posts: 1142
Joined: 6/1/2008
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I'm praying for you both, that there be some common ground that recovery can be built on, and that being a like love in the soverign and healing power of Jesus Christ to your marriage.
I've not been in the situation you are in. It sounds like there could perhaps be benefit in yet another, mutual counselor, who could see both of you and share in what your separate counselors have learned of each of you separately. Something that brings back in the thinking of what are WE doing to save our marriage. Something that could bring back the thinking about what was awesome and mutually enjoyed about your marriage in the past. If you can capture that, not in any kind of mindset, but in a mutual trust that God is able to restore things to a point far beyond what either of you knew them to be, this could be a course to take.
I'm hopeful that with what you both have done recently, that neither just up and quit just yet.
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Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. Ephesians 2:9-10
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RE: Please Pray: Fighting to save my marriage. - 9/26/2008 6:07:09 AM
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denbert
Posts: 17615
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I'll also be praying. Wanted to get in here before this gets moved to some other forum.
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The solution to a problem changes the problem
Denny
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RE: Please Pray: Fighting to save my marriage. - 9/26/2008 7:50:29 AM
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rgsoundguy
Posts: 401
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Pottstown, PA
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: denbert
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I'll also be praying. Wanted to get in here before this gets moved to some other forum.
I don't see why this would be moved to another forum. This is my issue as a man and I want the other men here to pray for me.
_____________________________
Albert Einstein said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. That convinces me that our nation is insane because we continually elect republicans and democrats expecting change and get none.
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RE: Please Pray: Fighting to save my marriage. - 9/26/2008 8:59:26 AM
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John_O
Posts: 8036
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: online
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Praying guy.
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Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: Please Pray: Fighting to save my marriage. - 9/26/2008 9:44:15 AM
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Simway
Posts: 42
Joined: 4/12/2005
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Praying for you. I know this is not easy, and I think the two of you need to go to counciling together. Marragie is work, and you need some common ground to work on, build a firm foundation and work from that. Of course no one can make another person comply to what they want if the person isn't interested, or just doens't want to do the work required to repair the damage. Take each day as it comes, this isn't going to happen over night. Simway
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RE: Please Pray: Fighting to save my marriage. - 10/15/2008 11:42:25 AM
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terryjohn
Posts: 458
Joined: 3/23/2007
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By all means get yourself sorted but give your wife a time frame by which she may know it is too late least you force her to sin. An unbelieving spouse is free to leave and you should not demand obediance to legal documents as the only foundation to your relationship for love was supposed to be that. You will have to accept that even if your wife were to see Christ in you she may still reject you as she would Christ. There are no guarantees and no promises, but you must follow Christ.
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RE: Please Pray: Fighting to save my marriage. - 10/16/2008 10:19:08 PM
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jn1010lf
Posts: 290
Joined: 4/20/2005
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Hello rgsoundguy
I suspect that there is much more to your situation other than porn. Let me suggest that you get closer to the Lord. Spend a lot of time with him and asking Him to reveal faults in you as a person. You might quite trying to save your marriage and turn the entire situation over to the Lord.
You might also suggest that your wife to the same thing. If she accepts your suggestion, fine.
A Pastor friend once told me that the best fix for troubled marriages is to guide each into a closer relationship with the Lord.
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RE: Please Pray: Fighting to save my marriage. - 10/16/2008 10:20:09 PM
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jn1010lf
Posts: 290
Joined: 4/20/2005
Status: offline
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Hello rgsoundguy
I suspect that there is much more to your situation other than porn. Let me suggest that you get closer to the Lord. Spend a lot of time with him and asking Him to reveal faults in you as a person. You might quite trying to save your marriage and turn the entire situation over to the Lord.
You might also suggest that your wife to the same thing. If she accepts your suggestion, fine.
A Pastor friend once told me that the best fix for troubled marriages is to guide each into a closer relationship with the Lord.
As for prayer. Do you know any mature men that will pray with you?quote:
rgsoundguy
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RE: Please Pray: Fighting to save my marriage. - 11/4/2008 1:04:04 PM
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brianm73
Posts: 7
Joined: 11/4/2008
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You posted this back in September and I hope that God has worked wonders in your marriage. I do not know if you have taken they oppurtunity to go see the movie "Fire Proof", but it is an eye opener. There is a book that comes from the movie called "Love Dare". I strongly recommend it. Currently, my wife told me she is tired and can not deal with our marriage any more, because of the things that I have done. But I too, have refused to give up and have placed my marriage in Gods hands. I have been doing these Love Dare and to be honest most of the time it has been fun. I forgot how to show my wife I loved her! Now, I just have to keep praying that God will save our marriage and I will pray for yours as well!
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Those who trust in the Lord will find new strength, they will soar high on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint. In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
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RE: Please Pray: Fighting to save my marriage. - 11/5/2008 8:14:18 PM
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Amped88
Posts: 42
Joined: 5/6/2008
Status: offline
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I pray everything works out for you Brianm73. I know marriage can be tough and you can lose touch with the one you love most. It is work each and every waking moment. I prayed for you, cheer up the Lord is on your side!
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