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RE: Overweight acceptable for himself but not for a wom... - 8/14/2008 11:57:18 AM
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NoShow
Posts: 459
Joined: 5/10/2005
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I've heard quite a few overweight guys make those kind of remarks, enough to call it commonly heard. But I'd say it's not the norm. Most men seem to be on this planet, not planet delusion.
I'm in really good shape, always have been, but in hindsight almost all of the people I've been in a relationship with, all were some what overweight. But I'm more about the person inside. Sure I can appreciate a woman in shape, but it's never been a requirement for me.
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RE: Overweight acceptable for himself but not for a wom... - 8/14/2008 12:30:55 PM
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stamper_ben
Posts: 10951
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Lone Star State
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I too took a long break from torturing myself in that folder.
I would be biting my tongue to not say something in that thread, but instead I have been holding my fingers to not tell the . . . gentlemen . . . there that I wish them well in their endeavors at finding a mate, for nothing in this life stays static, and may they get all the help they need in dealing with a woman who might need to change based on the changes in life that the men themselves might have happen to them.
Besides, real men first look at the purse! 
Some fellas look at the eyes
Some fellas look at the nose
Some fellas look at the size
Some fellas look at the clothes
I don't care if her eyes are red
I don't care if her nose is long
I don't care if she's underfed
I don't care if her clothes are worn
First I look at the purse!
Link to lyrics here.
_____________________________
We will be known as His by the love we show one another.
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RE: Overweight acceptable for himself but not for a wom... - 8/14/2008 10:56:17 PM
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John_O
Posts: 8036
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: online
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Kind of unfair to expect her to look good on the beach unless you do. (I'm down 30 pounds and 10 pounds from my goal!!)
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: Overweight acceptable for himself but not for a wom... - 8/15/2008 1:09:33 AM
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I_Walk_Alone
Posts: 164
Joined: 8/8/2008
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If there is anything that drives me crazy its the old weight double standard. I have heard a few overweight men make this comment to their spouses/girlfriends and I always think to myself, this coming from a guy who looks like he could use a bra? There is something seriously wrong with this logic. If a woman is driven to lose the "excess" (in quotes because is strictly subjective) pounds, they have to do if they truly want to do it. If they are comfortable with how they look, who are we to say that she needs to lose the weight.
Persoally, if their one thing that I find as a turn off it is skinny women. Its just my thing, I don't want someone who thinks they have to constantly watch their weight in order to fit a box that others have established.
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RE: Overweight acceptable for himself but not for a wom... - 8/15/2008 4:59:13 AM
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DreadPirateRandy
Posts: 7942
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quote:
ORIGINAL: APZR
A guy wants what a guy wants...
Such a statement also applies to the opposition.
Whether anyone likes or admits to it, physical attraction is a significant part of the magnetism you have for someone. I don't think either gender should demand a specific qualification if they themselves don't reach their own requirement.
I find obesity as a turn off. I wouldn't expect my spouse to care about being in shape if I demonstrated the complete opposite example. However, I try my best to remain in shape to remain a positive example as encouragement to her.
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The lunatic, the lover, and the poet, are of imagination all compact.
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RE: Overweight acceptable for himself but not for a wom... - 8/28/2008 4:05:26 PM
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buckifn
Posts: 1791
Joined: 5/23/2006
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I dont think being overweight is acceptable for anyone..beginning with myself. I think it is extremely unhealthy and is one factor that leads to diseases such as diabetes, which in the end punishes us all through higher health insurance costs.
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RE: Overweight acceptable for himself but not for a wom... - 8/28/2008 7:55:07 PM
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DreadPirateRandy
Posts: 7942
Joined: 6/5/2006
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Only if the rest of America would realize that.
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The lunatic, the lover, and the poet, are of imagination all compact.
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RE: Overweight acceptable for himself but not for a wom... - 8/28/2008 8:40:59 PM
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dinomax55
Posts: 259
Joined: 6/22/2007
From: O-H-I-O
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Clearly, any man who places a standard on his wife that he does not feel the need to adhere to is a hypocrite. My friends always say I'm picky, but at least I make a point of being in shape myself. No way would I let myself go and then demand a woman to be in tip top shape.
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We can never achieve perfection.. but if we chase perfection we will catch excellence.
-Vince Lombardi
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RE: Overweight acceptable for himself but not for a wom... - 8/29/2008 2:20:08 PM
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iwillfearnoevil
Posts: 4120
Joined: 11/6/2007
From: upstate NY
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: NightlessNight
This really makes me wonder how common this kind of thinking is among men.
looking at the results (from thousands and thousands of surveys) of dr harley's list of 10 emotional needs, physical attractiveness is towards the top of the emotional needs list for men (#3) but for women it's in the bottom half. if a woman prefers her husband be very active in the moral and educational development of their children rather than spending extra time at the gym, that's her perogative. not saying it has to be either/or but it's less of a big deal to a most women. i think living a healthy lifestyle is a good goal for spouses together but obviously it's not a priority for many women as other issues.
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RE: Overweight acceptable for himself but not for a wom... - 9/7/2008 2:56:20 AM
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OneJohn410
Posts: 1142
Joined: 6/1/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ObviousLee
quote:
ORIGINAL: NightlessNight
Once again - after a long break - I have been torturing myself at Men Only forum. There's this thread about what turns you off in a woman and somoene mentions this classic weight issue. BUT in the next sentence he tells that he is overweight himself. This really makes me wonder how common this kind of thinking is among men.
I'm just wondering, I'm not overweight myself and neither is my husband. 
Yes, there's a double-standard issue. Unfortunately, it also plays into a bit of racism (as far as us White men).
When a woman is over-weight; she is fat. When a man is over-weight; he is big-boned, husky, etc. Where the racism plays in is when White men use extra weight to to imply masculinity when specifically seeking small/petite/slender Asian women.
There's a sub-genre of White (aka western) men, who use the weight comparison of western (aka White) women to Asian women as part of the implication that Asian women (or foreign; Hispanic, Eastern European, etc.) are superior. To help implement this notion; western or White men sell themselves as large in an attempt to reduce the appeal of the generally slighter in build Asian man. So what could be said to be a positive in terms of the Asian race for both men and women; is confined to the women only. And thus, this same physical trait of an Asian man is made to carry the implication of a negative (slender build equaling femininity).
NightlessNight,
Cool Username! Right out of the day the earth stood still. I'm sorry to hear about the torture kick you have going though, yet it's a true tribute to your character to spend it with such a captive audience!
It's never occurred to me to poll men, asking them what there might be about women that detracts from them being liked. I've seen Garfield the cartoon cat say that he's not overweight but undertall.
Please do not include me in the quoted essay. I am proudly one of the few that are not of the us recapping this 'study', or whatever. I cannot relate racism and finding Asian women attractive. Nor have I considered weight in the superiority of females of one nationality to another.
To know a woman who is always whining about feeling overweight, and to not hear her plan for how to lose some of it- now that could really grate on the nerves. I hope to never know a woman who has to face an unexpected stay in hospital or assisted care and has very little body fat to lose in becoming healthy again- especially over something that steals away her appetite. That would be really challenging to experience.
OneJohn410
_____________________________
Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. Ephesians 2:9-10
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